Haters gonna hate (rant)

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Replies

  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member
    I get that when I talk about it at work so I keep my mouth shut. I get support from my husband and his positivity encourages me to stay active. He would love me at 165 and has and never told me to lose weight. It wasn't until I was tired of myself and tired of my pants being tight and miss my youthful energy and glow that I told myself I was going to start over.

    You are super gorgeous and sexy! Inside and out just to be going through this. So I say keep up the awesome work. You do need new friends or somewhere you can go that people will not judge you for getting healthy.

    When you workout you get stronger mentally and soon you can let it slide through one ear and out the other with a smile because in the back of your head your thinking the reason they say that is to drag you down to where they are so they won't have to feel bad about the how unhealthy and fat they are….

    Yes men are very vain. My husband does love me at 165 but I notice the difference when I am thinner that he gives me more praise and has pet names for me and talks to me differently… when I weighed more there were no praises and very few pet names and he didn't come on to me as much and we had less sex…. So you can have a sweet guy all you want but even the sweetest of men have their ways of showing what is really wanted or not wanted….
  • whitehorse67
    whitehorse67 Posts: 101 Member
    Nice way to generalize men there....talk about "haters gonna hate." Truth be told, if women did not care about a man's weight, VERY FEW of us would be here working hard to change our bodies. Generally, women are just as visual as men.....If they say they aren't, they are lying! If you want confirmation, just as any man who has been judged by a woman because of their body structure.

    I also have friends who's wives cheated on them because they were not attracted to their "chubby hubby" anymore.

    I'm not "hating" here either, merely pointing out that human nature crosses the gender line. Of course physical attraction is a component when finding a partner, but when will we ever stop lumping an entire gender into the actions of a few? Personally, I think women and men cheat at nearly the same rate......women are just better at getting away with it.

    **This reply was in response to the couple of people who generalized men as cheaters because their partner is overweight.....and stating that all men are visual......sorry, I hit reply rather than "quote" My apologies,
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,232 Member

    Yes men are very vain. My husband does love me at 165 but I notice the difference when I am thinner that he gives me more praise and has pet names for me and talks to me differently… when I weighed more there were no praises and very few pet names and he didn't come on to me as much and we had less sex…. So you can have a sweet guy all you want but even the sweetest of men have their ways of showing what is really wanted or not wanted….

    Speak for your own judgmental man. My husband treats me the same whether I'm bigger or smaller and has seen me at both and makes me feel adored, desired and cherished no matter what.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    "I find you bringing up how little or how much another grown *kitten* human adult chooses to eat weird and passive aggressive. If you keep doing it, I will start bringing up politics when we are at crowded bars"

    Bwahahahaha! :laugh:
  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member
    Nice way to generalize men there....talk about "haters gonna hate." Truth be told, if women did not care about a man's weight, VERY FEW of us would be here working hard to change our bodies. Generally, women are just as visual as men.....If they say they aren't, they are lying! If you want confirmation, just as any man who has been judged by a woman because of their body structure.

    I also have friends who's wives cheated on them because they were not attracted to their "chubby hubby" anymore.

    I'm not "hating" here either, merely pointing out that human nature crosses the gender line. Of course physical attraction is a component when finding a partner, but when will we ever stop lumping an entire gender into the actions of a few? Personally, I think women and men cheat at nearly the same rate......women are just better at getting away with it.
    My husband has a belly-he is tall so you cannot always tell right away but he is pudgy around the middle and I won't make him lose weight so idk if other woman do this but I can agree because woman are trying to gain the equality of men by being how men are without the repercussion which is fine but idk its hypocritical no matter who you are…. I just get worried about my hubbies health..I want him around and if he gets old enough he may regret being this heavy when young and I don't want him to regret his looks when he can do something about it and be proud of himself. I won't get on him even though he know how i feel. He did lose some weight but vaca made us gain a lot…he does try-he goes on walks but he can't run due to his joints being bad….he will get it one day-I don't want him leaving this earth before I do-not that much ahead of me anyways-I will be heartbroken
    He loves me no matter and I will love him no matter-He is tall dark handsome and a complete gentlemen so that definitely helps-ALOT :wink:
  • whitehorse67
    whitehorse67 Posts: 101 Member
    Yes men are very vain. My husband does love me at 165 but I notice the difference when I am thinner that he gives me more praise and has pet names for me and talks to me differently… when I weighed more there were no praises and very few pet names and he didn't come on to me as much and we had less sex…. So you can have a sweet guy all you want but even the sweetest of men have their ways of showing what is really wanted or not wanted….

    Yeah....another one generalizing men.....I find attitudes like this VERY aggravating....so what you're saying is some women aren't vain right?

    Don't judge all of us because your man doesn't love you for who you are......sorry for being harsh, but yeah....both genders are capable of being judgmental....I for one can tell you, I see the difference in how some women interact with me depending on my weight and appearance. The ones who like me for ME are the ones I am interested in.
  • JLoescher01
    JLoescher01 Posts: 48 Member
    I, too, have had this happen. A work friend of mine and I kept saying we were going to start dieting on such-and-such date and never did. I finally did start alone. Lost 4 lbs, found MFP and have lost 21 more. I still have a ways to go. At first, she would ask me out to eat all the time (probably trying to sabotage my efforts) and I went, but ate healthy things. Now I am not asked because I "don't eat enough to be going out to eat" (her comment). Now it has moved to her posting very fattening, chocolate desserts (love chocolate) on my FB page. It bothers me some, but I just ignore it. I am sure the "You are too skinny. You need to eat." comments will be coming next. She will probably continue to be obese her entire life because she cannot come to terms with eating healthy. And that's really sad.

    Don't let those people bring you down. You are doing great things!
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member

    Yes men are very vain. My husband does love me at 165 but I notice the difference when I am thinner that he gives me more praise and has pet names for me and talks to me differently… when I weighed more there were no praises and very few pet names and he didn't come on to me as much and we had less sex…. So you can have a sweet guy all you want but even the sweetest of men have their ways of showing what is really wanted or not wanted….

    I don't think you understand what the word vain means.

    Regardless, men are not vain (nor are they superficial which is where I think you were going). People are - men and women. But it's not a penis thing. My husband loved me at 140, 190, 230, and now at 188. Nothing has changed about how he's treated me, our sex life or affection. So that's not really a "man" thing, but a "your man" thing.
  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member
    I, too, have had this happen. A work friend of mine and I kept saying we were going to start dieting on such-and-such date and never did. I finally did start alone. Lost 4 lbs, found MFP and have lost 21 more. I still have a ways to go. At first, she would ask me out to eat all the time (probably trying to sabotage my efforts) and I went, but ate healthy things. Now I am not asked because I "don't eat enough to be going out to eat" (her comment). Now it has moved to her posting very fattening, chocolate desserts (love chocolate) on my FB page. It bothers me some, but I just ignore it. I am sure the "You are too skinny. You need to eat." comments will be coming next. She will probably continue to be obese her entire life because she cannot come to terms with eating healthy. And that's really sad.

    Don't let those people bring you down. You are doing great things!
    This-I get this-So I agree when you do lose more weight everyone and their mom will say what??? You are watching your weight? why????where does the food go? Yeah whatever its there reason why your skinny BECAUSE you watch what you eat..

    As far as lying because its for health reasons ? NAW man lol do not lie-just say it like it is and when you keep at it it will get better. Someone actually came to for advice so the comments will back off because you will become too intimidating…kinda like the links are somewhat intimidating- so yeah good for you and hope this new perspective gives you a new set of confidence:) Be you-lose what you want and happiness and harmony will glow through your sin-you will feel unstoppable and like a million bucks..
    So many rich people would die to be healthy and attractive but o matter how stink in rich their greedy arses are-they cannot fix the damage they had done-whether through eating excessively, plastic surgery, drugs/alcohol or extreme behaviors the damage is permanent-but to feel the way you look and look the way you feel at one time and being healthy and light and taking stairs head on-is truly priceless and the best gift anyone can hold
    how many rich people can say they feel THAT!? Not many:) I would rather be healthy and poor than rich and sick! think about it. we are the most blessed of this world to have our privacy/health/humbleness/and fit souls-money can't buy it nope
  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member

    Yes men are very vain. My husband does love me at 165 but I notice the difference when I am thinner that he gives me more praise and has pet names for me and talks to me differently… when I weighed more there were no praises and very few pet names and he didn't come on to me as much and we had less sex…. So you can have a sweet guy all you want but even the sweetest of men have their ways of showing what is really wanted or not wanted….

    I don't think you understand what the word vain means.

    Regardless, men are not vain (nor are they superficial which is where I think you were going). People are - men and women. But it's not a penis thing. My husband loved me at 140, 190, 230, and now at 188. Nothing has changed about how he's treated me, our sex life or affection. So that's not really a "man" thing, but a "your man" thing.
    I don't think you do so I think you need not be so quick to react and judge what I know and what I don't know thank s
    Actually its not just my mans thing babe its a lot of mens thing and just like you could be in denial about how yours treats you when you do pack on the fat. You can love someone but you aint having sex with them as often…you think about that for a moment and get back to me
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member

    Yes men are very vain. My husband does love me at 165 but I notice the difference when I am thinner that he gives me more praise and has pet names for me and talks to me differently… when I weighed more there were no praises and very few pet names and he didn't come on to me as much and we had less sex…. So you can have a sweet guy all you want but even the sweetest of men have their ways of showing what is really wanted or not wanted….

    I don't think you understand what the word vain means.

    Regardless, men are not vain (nor are they superficial which is where I think you were going). People are - men and women. But it's not a penis thing. My husband loved me at 140, 190, 230, and now at 188. Nothing has changed about how he's treated me, our sex life or affection. So that's not really a "man" thing, but a "your man" thing.
    I don't think you do so I think you need not be so quick to react and judge what I know and what I don't know thank s
    Actually its not just my mans thing babe its a lot of mens thing and just like you could be in denial about how yours treats you when you do pack on the fat. You can love someone but you aint having sex with them as often…you think about that for a moment and get back to me

    Wait, you're calling me judgmental? I cannot even.

    I've been with my husband for over 12 years, and we have two kids. I'm secure in his love and attraction to me through weight gain, loss, pregnancy, stretch marks, sagging breasts, depression and much, much more, so I don't really need to think about anything and get back to you. I'm good - thanks.
  • I just had this conversation with a friend of mine. She has lost 43 lbs and I told her prepare to have people hate you. It was said here and it is totally true it makes people nervous because they have to look at themselves and their habits. I quit drinking recently and it is the exact same type of responses. Oh you can have just a little...well I can stop when I want...or your don't have a problem so what big deal live a little!! We all know our own bodies we know what is good for us. If someone questions what your are eating then tell them I don't comment on your food please don't comment on mine. Trust me I know this to be true it's jealousy!. People hate people who are making a better life for themselves...Unless!! THEY ARE YOUR FRIENDS. Real friends. Time to find another pool to swim in baby. Keep up the good work.
  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member

    Yes men are very vain. My husband does love me at 165 but I notice the difference when I am thinner that he gives me more praise and has pet names for me and talks to me differently… when I weighed more there were no praises and very few pet names and he didn't come on to me as much and we had less sex…. So you can have a sweet guy all you want but even the sweetest of men have their ways of showing what is really wanted or not wanted….

    I don't think you understand what the word vain means.

    Regardless, men are not vain (nor are they superficial which is where I think you were going). People are - men and women. But it's not a penis thing. My husband loved me at 140, 190, 230, and now at 188. Nothing has changed about how he's treated me, our sex life or affection. So that's not really a "man" thing, but a "your man" thing.
    I don't think you do so I think you need not be so quick to react and judge what I know and what I don't know thank s
    Actually its not just my mans thing babe its a lot of mens thing and just like you could be in denial about how yours treats you when you do pack on the fat. You can love someone but you aint having sex with them as often…you think about that for a moment and get back to me

    Wait, you're calling me judgmental? I cannot even.

    I've been with my husband for over 12 years, and we have two kids. I'm secure in his love and attraction to me through weight gain, loss, pregnancy, stretch marks, sagging breasts, depression and much, much more, so I don't really need to think about anything and get back to you. I'm good - thanks.
    Oh but you have already so think that all you want hun
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  • Stella_Mayfair
    Stella_Mayfair Posts: 226 Member
    O.P I couldn't agree with you more.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member

    Yes men are very vain. My husband does love me at 165 but I notice the difference when I am thinner that he gives me more praise and has pet names for me and talks to me differently… when I weighed more there were no praises and very few pet names and he didn't come on to me as much and we had less sex…. So you can have a sweet guy all you want but even the sweetest of men have their ways of showing what is really wanted or not wanted….

    I don't think you understand what the word vain means.

    Regardless, men are not vain (nor are they superficial which is where I think you were going). People are - men and women. But it's not a penis thing. My husband loved me at 140, 190, 230, and now at 188. Nothing has changed about how he's treated me, our sex life or affection. So that's not really a "man" thing, but a "your man" thing.
    I don't think you do so I think you need not be so quick to react and judge what I know and what I don't know thank s
    Actually its not just my mans thing babe its a lot of mens thing and just like you could be in denial about how yours treats you when you do pack on the fat. You can love someone but you aint having sex with them as often…you think about that for a moment and get back to me

    Wait, you're calling me judgmental? I cannot even.

    I've been with my husband for over 12 years, and we have two kids. I'm secure in his love and attraction to me through weight gain, loss, pregnancy, stretch marks, sagging breasts, depression and much, much more, so I don't really need to think about anything and get back to you. I'm good - thanks.
    Oh but you have already so think that all you want hun

    Because I answered your question? I'm sorry, I tried to have a rational conversation with you, but it's proving to be more work than it's really worth. You call me judgmental, say all men are vain, and imply that I'm in denial because my husband doesn't behave exactly like yours does.
  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member
    Because I answered your question? I'm sorry, I tried to have a rational conversation with you, but it's proving to be more work than it's really worth. You call me judgmental, say all men are vain, and imply that I'm in denial because my husband doesn't behave exactly like yours does.
    [/quote]
    More like irrational- like I said your the one quick to cut someones comment down nothank you very much.

    I am done arguing with you over nothing-I said my peace and now Im going..regardless of what you say after I post this you have knee jerk to peoples comments to quick-idk why you had to even say anything to me-i wasn't talking to you anyways but to OP
    I have no time to waste especially not on you! Good riddance! OP keep your chin up and the ones who hate let them hate because they don't like seeing you doing something right so let them hate:)and you let yourself shine no matter what-
  • stephmofo
    stephmofo Posts: 21 Member
    That last one really kills me. Hello, there's a reason why Brad Pitt is with Angelina Jolie and not a woman who weighs 300 pounds. But God forbid I want to look attractive and date attractive people because that's "So shallow!" But everyone who says that is a hypocrite and they know it.

    I think there is definitely some truth to that statement. I think it happens more now though then before. Our culture is obsessed with being thin and ironically obsessed with food. To balance this out, some people, who have lost weight, adopt a bad attitude towards people who have weight to lose, doing this helps keep them motivated to not gain back weight. They had to hate the fat on their body in order to make changes, so they mirror their own toxic thoughts onto other people and say they want the "whole package" or whatever to justify their superficiality.

    It's more prevalent now, because being thin is glorified in our society, yet people are busier than ever and unhealthy food is cheaper and it's everywhere! If I were single, in this day of age, and was fit and in shape, I would post my real pic on a dating site, then I would where a fat suit on all my dates to see if they could get past it or not.
  • smarieallen85
    smarieallen85 Posts: 535 Member
    A woman told me she could count my teeth through the skin on my face the other day :(
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
    Makes me think of Taylor Swift's new song, "Shake it Off". No matter what you think of the gal in her music or her personal life, the message is a great one:

    "Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
    And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
    Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
    I shake it off, I shake it off

    Heart breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
    And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
    Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
    I shake it off, I shake it off"
  • miriyummy
    miriyummy Posts: 37 Member
    Annoying Person: "Live a little"
    Your response next time: "No thanks, I'd like to live a lot"

    Fantastic! I might use this. :)
  • mustardyellowshirt
    mustardyellowshirt Posts: 53 Member
    Annoying Person: "Live a little"
    Your response next time: "No thanks, I'd like to live a lot"

    Your attitude is amazing though. Just do what makes you happy.

    HA! That's great.
  • mustardyellowshirt
    mustardyellowshirt Posts: 53 Member
    "I find you bringing up how little or how much another grown *kitten* human adult chooses to eat weird and passive aggressive. If you keep doing it, I will start bringing up politics when we are at crowded bars"

    This is beautiful.
  • Shropshire1959
    Shropshire1959 Posts: 982 Member
    Try this one...... "Soon I'll be fit and healthy ... you will still be a ****!"