I'm the only one that eats in public.
mylovelyremedy
Posts: 35
I understand that my irrational worriedness is mostly just from being self conscious and being very aware of myself, but I still find this kind of upset.
I go to lunch and dinner with the same group of girls everyday. They usually order the same thing that I do, but they eat just a few bites and throw the rest away. By a few bites, I really mean just a few bites. Not half of it, or a little less than half.
I have my food scarfed down in 10 minutes and they pick at theirs for nearly 30 before finally tossing it.
I don't spend much time with them outside the cafeteria, so I'm not sure if they pig out in privacy.
I just feel awkward!
Why? I'm not 100% sure.
But how do I get over that?
I know that what I'm doing isn't a problem, I'm not overeating by any means. I *don't* eat a million snacks (or liquid calories whatsoever) behind closed doors. If they are, I don't know.
But how do I stop from feeling almost guilty for being the only girl to eat everything in public?
I go to lunch and dinner with the same group of girls everyday. They usually order the same thing that I do, but they eat just a few bites and throw the rest away. By a few bites, I really mean just a few bites. Not half of it, or a little less than half.
I have my food scarfed down in 10 minutes and they pick at theirs for nearly 30 before finally tossing it.
I don't spend much time with them outside the cafeteria, so I'm not sure if they pig out in privacy.
I just feel awkward!
Why? I'm not 100% sure.
But how do I get over that?
I know that what I'm doing isn't a problem, I'm not overeating by any means. I *don't* eat a million snacks (or liquid calories whatsoever) behind closed doors. If they are, I don't know.
But how do I stop from feeling almost guilty for being the only girl to eat everything in public?
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Replies
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I have no answer, but I sure do identify with you! I have a group of fabulously fit friends who can eat a little cup of soup for a meal and be stuffed. Whenever we go out I'm always hyper aware of every forkful that I put in my mouth.
I just think, better self-conscious than hungry! If you let it affect your behavior, it's basically punishing yourself for not being perfect, and nobody's ever gonna be perfect.0 -
There's no guilt to be had. People can say all they want but when they see the pounds being shed in you while they're gaining they'll change their minds.
Just remember me speaking these words every time you eat and all will be well in the world...
Seriously though, you're doing it right. Hate when people toss food all the time btw, shows they take stuff for granted0 -
Those poor girls...
And I mean literally poor. I would never throw food away like that - it's exactly the same as putting dollar bills in a garbage bag.
Why don't they at least box it up!?
Poor, poor girls.0 -
They probably aren't paying for the food themselves and have yet to appreciate the value of a dollar. There is absolutely nothing for you to feel guilty about. You're there to eat healthy on a budget and thats what you're doing. Keep up the good work!0
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I understand that my irrational worriedness is mostly just from being self conscious and being very aware of myself, but I still find this kind of upset.
I go to lunch and dinner with the same group of girls everyday. They usually order the same thing that I do, but they eat just a few bites and throw the rest away. By a few bites, I really mean just a few bites. Not half of it, or a little less than half.
I have my food scarfed down in 10 minutes and they pick at theirs for nearly 30 before finally tossing it.
I don't spend much time with them outside the cafeteria, so I'm not sure if they pig out in privacy.
I just feel awkward!
Why? I'm not 100% sure.
But how do I get over that?
I know that what I'm doing isn't a problem, I'm not overeating by any means. I *don't* eat a million snacks (or liquid calories whatsoever) behind closed doors. If they are, I don't know.
But how do I stop from feeling almost guilty for being the only girl to eat everything in public?
People who throw out a considerable amount of food really grind my gears. You should tell them that - in those words. You can use my name if you are too shy. it is Rich.0 -
Get over it by enjoying your food like a boss
Eat in the way that works for your body, don't starve yourself, be smart. I used to hate eating in public just because it grossed me out to see everyone eating (not a ED thing, just... eating looks gross!), but eventually I got over it.0 -
I have no answer, but I sure do identify with you! I have a group of fabulously fit friends who can eat a little cup of soup for a meal and be stuffed. Whenever we go out I'm always hyper aware of every forkful that I put in my mouth.
I just think, better self-conscious than hungry! If you let it affect your behavior, it's basically punishing yourself for not being perfect, and nobody's ever gonna be perfect.
If they are genuinely fit (as in FIT, not just that they are super tiny) then I doubt their eating habits are actually doing them any favours. I'd much rather be the one pigging out than be the one eating half a cup of soup and claiming i'm full lol.0 -
My 16 year old daughter is the same way. Drives me nuts. Then she complains about being so skinny and wants to know what exercises she can do to build muscles. I tell her fixing her diet will go a long way towards building muscle. But even thru I'm the most fit person she knows (well her Mum is maybe even more fit) she sees me as Dad and doesn't think I know diddly or squat.
The only person you have total control over is you. By practicing good eatting habit ultimately you will be better off...just say this to yourself and move on.
If you can...0 -
I never understand why people buy food then throw it away - if you don't want to eat it, don't waste your money!
Do you have to "eat" with them? If you want to spend time with them, perhaps change it so it's not meal times. Also, when I'm working I try to pack my own lunch, as it gives more control over what I'm eating and is much cheaper, so if you did this, you could sit in a park or staff room to have your lunch (I'm assuming this is a work lunch break you are referring to).0 -
You have very weird friends.0
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You have very weird friends.
Hahaahha...that made me laugh out loud!0 -
Don't fret at all. I'm just like you!! I literally eat a whole plate as my Friends just pick around and waste their food. I look at it like, oh well! If they want to just nibble for lunch, who cares! I'm gonna eat! Sodon't feel strange about it at all. I seriously have no problems sitting and eating my whole plate while they pick. Who knows why they do that and look at it like, who cares what they eat or don't eat!? :-)0
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My friends and I eat all of the food. Most of us do things like MFP...specific dietary habits or tracking our food and stuff...so we tend to order what we'll actually eat. I also notice as we've hit our mid 30's we drink a lot less alcohol so most of the time when we go out for a meal together it is centered around good food and we eat it, or some of my friends might eat half and pack up the rest to take home.
BUT...I remember all too well that even 4-5 years ago, it was a whole different story. I ate my food, and everyone else ordered and then drank their calories and/or picked at like the corner of a chicken breast or ate a few chips and that's it.
Confession time: I used to be all inwardly judgey about that especially because 90% of my friends were/are stay at home moms and all I could think was, WOW you just spent $17 of your family's budget on that alfredo pasta fiasco that you left congealing on the plate, why didn't you just order a beer and some chips if that's what you wanted?0 -
Seriously though, you're doing it right. Hate when people toss food all the time btw, shows they take stuff for granted
Totally agree!!
OP, I am sorry I forgot to address how I think you should proceed...I say, eat the food, log it, and know that you are getting your calories and nutrition in, and not wasting money either.0 -
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I know that feeling. It seems like someone at work is always saying, are you eating all of that? Are you eating again? You eat more than most men!
I really don't. I just have set snacks throughout my day. It keeps me from overeating. Sometimes the comments do make me feel bad. I just remind myself, they are responsible for their own nutrition, just like I am. Keep following your plan to your goals, don't worry about others. I know it can be easier said than done.0 -
I'm with you. I hate going out with people who order things & then only eat a tiny bit of it. I always feel like I'm totally pigging out. But I don't usually go out to eat often, so when I do it's a real treat. If I'm going be splurging financially and diet-wise, then I'm going to enjoy every bit of whatever I order. If I'm trying not to splurge so much diet-wise, I order something different, but I still eat as much of it as I can.
You just do you. You know what you're doing, after all. Maybe they'll learn from your success that they can enjoy full meals and stop wasting their money. Seriously, the LEAST they could do is take it home for later, or give it to their boyfriend/roommate/dog/whatever.0 -
wasteful too0
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I have no answer, but I sure do identify with you! I have a group of fabulously fit friends who can eat a little cup of soup for a meal and be stuffed. Whenever we go out I'm always hyper aware of every forkful that I put in my mouth.
I just think, better self-conscious than hungry! If you let it affect your behavior, it's basically punishing yourself for not being perfect, and nobody's ever gonna be perfect.
If they are genuinely fit (as in FIT, not just that they are super tiny) then I doubt their eating habits are actually doing them any favours. I'd much rather be the one pigging out than be the one eating half a cup of soup and claiming i'm full lol.
Yep, fit and healthy girls definitely eat and eat much more than a little cup of soup (as a starter maybe). I'm often the one who my friends look at and say "how can you eat that much of that and not put on weight?". Of course it's because I'm active, I IF and because the food they don't see me eat is primarily healthy.
I'm always skeptical about people who eat a tiny amount and claim to be full. I suspect they probably eat a lot more when people aren't watching. We, as a society need to get away from the steretype of women needing to eat tiny amount and mostly rabbit food. I'll eat what I want and as much as I want thank you very much0 -
Who can afford to waste food? That was never an option.
Too full? Finish it later. You don't like it? Put it with something else.0 -
I love the support I'm getting! Thanks guys.
I'll keep doing me. Its nice to know I'm not a freak and some people are the same way, as weird as it may seem to ourselves.
Once again, thank you0 -
If I saw any of my friends tossing out food, I'd totally just ask them for it. Box it up, snack or dinner for later for free. Woot woot.0
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They are the same people who will be sneaking to the vending machines for a Coke and a candy when they didn't get full by picking. :flowerforyou:0
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You shouldn't feel guilty. And you only feel weird about it because you're the only one actually eating. So weird of them. Just eat your food and be happy you're not wasting money.0
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They are the same people who will be sneaking to the vending machines for a Coke and a candy when they didn't get full by picking. :flowerforyou:
I tend to agree. Even though I always ate my whole meal, there were many times when I was at my heaviest that I would pack just a cucumber and hummus for my work lunch - I thought I was doing so well by restricting myself somewhat - and on my way home I would stop at a fast food place for a burger AND/OR Starbucks for a high calorie drink.0 -
I know that feeling. It seems like someone at work is always saying, are you eating all of that? Are you eating again? You eat more than most men!
Food is fuel. Tell them to try to drive their car or any vehicle without fuel. They'll have fun with that.0 -
My daughter is in theater (she's an aspiring actress and has been in a few professional productions), and now that she has started socializing with other women in theater and the arts, she said she has noticed that most of them are on diets and when they eat in restaurants, don't eat bread, order only salads and leave most of the meals on the plate. All of them talk about not eating carbs, gluten, sugar, etc. She's 5'9" and around 150-160 and said she felt like a total pig the first time she ate out with them and couldn't understand it because to eat out on a limited budget is a big deal, so she would eat the bread and order a good-sized meal. But apparently, eating very little publicly is very much a trend among young women, especially in professions that are more appearance-oriented.0
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I have a girlfriend like that too. We have been friends for years, she would do anything for me, but the food thing--MAN! She is super tiny and 54 year old. She walks literally 10 miles a day on a treadmill--I am not making that up. She has lots of health issues and that is a way for her to stay limber and flexible. She is not overweight at all-it's for health--BUT…the eating. She literally eats 10 blueberries and 1/4 of a waffle for breakfast. I have never in 12 years of being friends with her seen her finish a meal. I have talked with her about my losing weight and she had loads of tips. She talked about how if my treat every night is one cookie, go to half a cookie for a while, then go to a quarter of a cookie and see if that is satisfying. I just can't go to those extremes.
My advice is get over it--enjoy your food! If for no other reason than it's wasteful. I always at least take leftovers home-two ravenous teenage sons will eat pretty much anything I bring home! I know what you mean about feeling like you are pigging out, but you know you're not. Try to not let it get to you. It starts to be a negative competition, like who ate the least. Ridiculous. Why go out and pay good money for any item that you are going to toss.
just my two cents!!!!!0 -
I have a friend like yours, but it is worse. She will say "let's split an order of fries" and I say no, but she orders them anyways and puts them in the middle of the table.
Well she eats 3 fries and I finish off the basket :-(
I am trying to stop letting her weirdness affect me and stick to my plans0 -
I love the support I'm getting! Thanks guys.
I'll keep doing me. Its nice to know I'm not a freak and some people are the same way, as weird as it may seem to ourselves.
Once again, thank you
Oh we never said you weren't a freak, we're all freaks in one thing or another, just not in the way you eat 0
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