weight loss comments

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  • Melissa_mojo
    Melissa_mojo Posts: 156 Member
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    No I hate them cause they say your to skinny go eat ummm im 5'3 and 120 wtf
  • JenSD6
    JenSD6 Posts: 454 Member
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    I've lost 40 pounds, going from barely fitting into an extra large down to a medium, and no one but my mother and husband seems to have even noticed. Sometimes it's nice that I can just keep my journey private, other times it would be nice to have a little validation.
  • nicsflyingcircus
    nicsflyingcircus Posts: 2,566 Member
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    I can understand the mixed feelings.

    One the one hand, someone is saying something nice about you and recognizing the effort that you're putting into making changes. On the other, they are at least unintentionally reminding you that had gotten to a place where you felt those changes became necessary - so not a totally comfortable feeling there.

    I already own where I had let myself go. It would be foolish of me not to recognize that other people noticed it too. It's not like you can exactly hide an extra 50 pounds of weight ;) So those people who notice my weight loss now? They're the same people who knew me at my highest weight too and who were also considerate enough not to have made comments about just how overweight I used to be. So their intent is clearly not to be rude or hurtful - even if we may internalize their comments that way because of our own issues in coming to grips with where we are/were.

    I take weight loss comments in the spirit in which they are intended: supportive and positive. I use them as further motivation and inspiration to keep doing what I was doing for myself anyway :)

    ^^^This, 100%.
  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
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    I am so indifferent about them . . . I try to look at them as good but sometimes they just really sting!

    I would generally not refer to others as fat - so when someone looks at my before pictures and comments on how fat I was it bothers me. If you would not call someone fat at the time to their face referring to them that way in the past tense is equally unacceptable to me.

    For me the comments really started after I was about 70 pounds down, those were general comments. Now the comments are more specific - they start of nice like and then turn real quick into some snarky comment. Even with these I try and find some positive aspect but it is really hard at times, though I do have several comebacks, so they are getting to be less and less.
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
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    I like it when someone notices my weight loss. Validates my hard work. :smile:
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    I agree, it has to do with delivery. Those that are over the top make me want to just shake my head but I take the nice route instead and smile and say thank you (sometimes several times if they're gushing).

    In the beginning though, stuff like that really bothered me. I'd lost maybe 40 pounds and one of my co-workers was behind me coming back from a meeting and said "OMG, you're getting so skinny!" so I grabbed a big handful of my still massive flank and said "oh really, what's this then?!" and laughed. When I got back to my desk, I realized she was just trying to be nice and I took it the wrong way so that's why I just do the smile and thank you thing now.

    I truly believe most people mean well...they just don't always use the right words or tone.
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
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    I don't really like them, except if they are low-key and brief, although even with the OTT ones, I do realize that (a) I still genuinely forget I do look very, very different (from size 16/18 petite to size 2/4 petite since end January 2014), and (b) people need time to adjust to how I look now, so I try not to snap or say anything other than "thank you" with a smile, and answer questions politely and briefly.

    It did get really annoying though when I hadn't attended a single work meeting or work event between March and August without someone commenting. It was starting to get almost unprofessional, as though my physical appearance was more important in a work context than my performance and knowledge, although even then, I realize that I just happen to work with a bunch of generally nice people, so it's something I have to cope with.

    No negative comments (yet). Still waiting for those from my sister and Mom, who I haven't seen in a year, and whom I haven't told.
  • Pirate_chick
    Pirate_chick Posts: 1,216 Member
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    I kind of hate it. I don't want to talk about it.
  • fabnine
    fabnine Posts: 379 Member
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    I'd much rather have the awkward compliments than the "OMG when are you due??"

    This! There's nothing quite like the rumors flying that 'she's pregnant again' just because you gained 10 pounds over the holidays.:laugh:

    Edit: Really I enjoy the compliments from people who understand how I've worked and try to let the complinsults slide.
  • DesDawn24
    DesDawn24 Posts: 147 Member
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    It depends on who it comes from and how it's delivered. There are people I see all the time that feel the need to ask me every couple of weeks what my total is and go on and on about it, which irks me because it's not all about the scale (and most of those people are barely acquaintances). On the other hand, my close friends and family making comments about how great I look are accepted with love and gratitude. But then, they don't make a huge deal out of it. It's a simple "you look fantastic!" or "that's a great dress!", and then we move on with other things.

    Sometimes too many comments also just make me feel embarassed. It can get really uncomfortable when someone won't stop talking about it. I understand that they mean well, but telling me how much better I look now doesn't really make me feel great about the "old" me, who was a pretty awesome person I like to think!
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
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    when you have lost 150 pounds its kinda expected that people will notice and comment

    so it does not bother me ... maybe makes me shy sure but does not bother me
  • Pirate_chick
    Pirate_chick Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Also, I hate, HATE HHHAAAAAAATE when someone says I am getting skinny. I am 225lbs right now, I am so far from skinny it's not even funny. That just pisses me off.
  • astroophys
    astroophys Posts: 175 Member
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    Also, I hate, HATE HHHAAAAAAATE when someone says I am getting skinny. I am 225lbs right now, I am so far from skinny it's not even funny. That just pisses me off.

    Yes, this, I admit, is annoying. It's usually coming from people who actually are skinny and would certainly not want to be at my weight and size. I just ignore and move on.
  • kar328
    kar328 Posts: 4,157 Member
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    I'm doing this for me and only me, so I'd prefer not to hear comments - I didn't tell anyone what I was doing. But now that I'm down a significant amount, it's noticeable and people have to jump in with both feet. Most of the time it's fine, a simple "you look good, keep it up" etc are nice. But people like my coworkers are masters at the opposite kind.

    "There now, don't you feel better?" (in the tone of talking to a five year old - I was waiting for the pat on the head).

    "Skinny minnie" - probably my least favorite. I'm clearly in the obese category still (although I did go from morbidly to severely) and I find it incredibly condescending, especially when said by a thin person. I don't need the validation and I'm not going for skinny - thin, fit, healthy, yes, skinny no :sick:

    "You shouldn't lose anymore." WTF? I've got 47 lbs to hit the goal I set for myself, which would put me at the top of the normal BMI range for my height. Yes, I should lose some more :huh:

    "Is that diet chocolate you're eating?" "Is that on your diet?" The number of food police I have now is almost funny. No, it's not diet, no I'm not sharing and no, I'm not on a diet.

    The good comments do outweigh the bad and I am appreciative. I'd prefer it not to be a subject at all, but realize that's not happening. I just try to say thanks, or straighten out the bad comments and change the subject.
  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
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    I generally don't mind them at all.

    The funniest one/awkward in a sweet way is when my dad and I will be watching tv together, and I'll feel him staring at me, and when I look over he goes "God Jessie, you have lost a LOT of weight!" It's generally followed by him grabbing his stomach and saying he needs to lose weight too (he's actually started working out and eating better, so I'm very happy to have inspired him).

    My grandparents are so lovely and concerned that I'm going to fade away. They remind me not to get too small from time to time. It makes me smile because I know it comes from love and not malice or them trying to hold me back.

    The comment I hate is: "You're boyfriend must be so happy you lost weight." I politely tell them that I am happy I lost the weight. And I didn't do this for anyone else but me. And besides, I'm single, so their is no boyfriend to be happy or sad.
  • SandyBVTN
    SandyBVTN Posts: 367 Member
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    I'm excited for the next month or two, when I will have lost enough that it'll be noticeable enough for someone to comment!

    That is, comment in a low-key, positive way, not make a huge deal of it. I never mention other people's weight loss except for in a private moment, or to simply say "you are looking wonderful!". Or to quietly ask if they have any tips, etc.

    I do have one (male) friend who I know is going to be weird. He's a super nice guy but I think he worries that anyone losing weight is going to develop an eating disorder or something. I know for sure that once I have lost 20lbs or so of the 50 that is my ultimate goal, he'll already be concerned and will ask me if I am losing too fast, too much etc. though I will still be obviously overweight. Like, where was the concern as I steadily gained over the past five years? I'm hoping I can use the conversation as an opportunity to educate him.
  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
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    I'm doing this for me and only me, so I'd prefer not to hear comments - I didn't tell anyone what I was doing. But now that I'm down a significant amount, it's noticeable and people have to jump in with both feet. Most of the time it's fine, a simple "you look good, keep it up" etc are nice. But people like my coworkers are masters at the opposite kind.

    "There now, don't you feel better?" (in the tone of talking to a five year old - I was waiting for the pat on the head).

    "Skinny minnie" - probably my least favorite. I'm clearly in the obese category still (although I did go from morbidly to severely) and I find it incredibly condescending, especially when said by a thin person. I don't need the validation and I'm not going for skinny - thin, fit, healthy, yes, skinny no :sick:

    "You shouldn't lose anymore." WTF? I've got 47 lbs to hit the goal I set for myself, which would put me at the top of the normal BMI range for my height. Yes, I should lose some more :huh:

    "Is that diet chocolate you're eating?" "Is that on your diet?" The number of food police I have now is almost funny. No, it's not diet, no I'm not sharing and no, I'm not on a diet.

    The good comments do outweigh the bad and I am appreciative. I'd prefer it not to be a subject at all, but realize that's not happening. I just try to say thanks, or straighten out the bad comments and change the subject.

    Don't you just love the Food Police???
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    HATE it!!! Hate it!! Hate it!!! Hate it! OMG - let's talk about periods next. Or about our grandparents having wild sex. I don't know - I can't think of much worse things than talking about weight. God please just don't.
  • JustSomeEm
    JustSomeEm Posts: 20,222 MFP Moderator
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    I don't like the comments. Losing weight for me was a very personal discovery (OMGosh I'm HUGE) and then a very personal decision and journey. I know that people notice, and I expect comments when I haven't seen someone in a while. But anything other than something along the lines of 'you've lost wieght' or 'you look good' makes me uncomfortable. I was me when I was 200 pounds, and I'm still the same me. There is just less of me. :) I'm not going to take anyone's head off for compliments, but they really make me uncomfortable.

    PLUS, I've started to get the 'stop losing' comments. And I might soon, but I'm no where near underweight at 5'4" and 135 pounds. My weight and pants size are no one's business but mine, and I like food too much to ever run the risk of becoming too thin.

    For those that like the comments: Good, because you look GREAT!
  • daw0518
    daw0518 Posts: 459 Member
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    I like when people notice but I never know how to respond. I always feel like no matter how I respond, even with a simple "Thank you!", it comes off really awkwardly - like no matter what I say, it seems narcissistic somehow. It also depends on who notices - close friends & family noticing is easy to handle, but random acquaintances noticing is when it gets awkward & difficult for me to navigate. I also haven't lost a lot, so the people who do notice are hesitantly like "have you... have you lost weight??"

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