Don't believe in myself

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Kp203N
Kp203N Posts: 22
in Motivation and Support
How do i get started in reaching my goals? I know I can reach my goals, I've done it before, but I just can't seem to get out of a slump and reach my goals. I have gained 29 pounds and have lost 1 this week. (good as long as i keep it lost) I wrote my new goals down but I don't believe in myself. i took one step away from my computer and my heart sank. I can't possibly reach my goals. i suck. That's how I feel. What's wrong with me? Why can't I begin to feel batter about myself? i don't even know what goals i want. I've thought about them so much that they are just a mish mash of words in my head and I get all confused. I've had panic attacks before (I have generalized anxiety disorder, but please don't talk to me like i'm crazy :) ) I just want to feel better about myself but I don't believe anyone believes in me and I don't believe in myself. What do it do?
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Replies

  • kshadows
    kshadows Posts: 1,315 Member
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    For me, I went and checked out the success stories thread....the stories and photos there are SO motivating and inspiring. I started running because of them and now I'm in love with it. If you've done it before, there's no reason to think you can't do it again. Surround yourself with positivity and give yourself a pep talk. You got this.
  • rogerOb1
    rogerOb1 Posts: 318 Member
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    Everyone has days when they don't feel at their most motivated....its OK, just continue to eat better than you did before and exercise more, and eventually good things will happen (not as quick as we would all like, but they happen). Id say settle on a long term goal and then think about a shorter term goal too. (e.g. I'd pick out a t-shirt that doesn't quite fit the way I want and work towards making it a better fit).

    Id definitely agree about checking out the success stories on this site - and theres no reason why you cant be one of them too one day.
  • divediva2
    divediva2 Posts: 297 Member
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    It is tough, overwhelming and scary to look at all you have to do to become healthy. My first advice is to stop the negative thoughts and talks in your head. Think about what you would say to your best friend or a loved one if they talked about themselves negatively. You would point out the good things they are doing, the positive. You would tell them how much they are worth the effort, how much they are loved and while not perfect they are the best they can be right now.

    Goal setting is not easy. Take a moment and think about a simple goal you can do today, it could be getting 6-8 glasses of water, or eating 4-5 veg servings. Just make a simple one day goal and then move to the next day. Baby steps. Making too many goals are going to overwhelm you so make simple ones, day to day. You will find it easier as the days go on and soon you will be ready to make bigger long term goals.

    I know how it feels to be paralyzed like you describe. Right now I am in a very good place. I realized I cannot do this on my own. My answer to breaking free was to get a trainer to help. i lucked out and have a fabulous one, I can cry, complain, state my fears and she will talk me through them. 4 weeks in and I am feeling wonderful. I am fitter (not as fit as I can be!) and I sleep better. Now that those two issues have fallen into a good place I am more involved in eating healthily. It is all coming together. My first goal was to get a trainer. I did and I am so glad.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    doing things- gets things done.

    Just take a step and do something- don't get bogged down in over thinking.
  • VaxSA
    VaxSA Posts: 90 Member
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    I believe in you!
  • psych101
    psych101 Posts: 1,842 Member
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    doing things- gets things done.

    Just take a step and do something- don't get bogged down in over thinking.

    ^^ this - just go and do it and stop overthinking it.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    I was laid off from my job last year and I had those same feelings. I'm a failure, I suck, I'll die penniless on the street, I'll never get hired again, etc etc etc. It was awful!!

    A couple of things got me through it:

    1) Trying. No matter how down I was, I got up and turned on the computer and looked for jobs. I answered every phone call, went on every interview. It was up and down - I got a couple of great jobs, but both were short-term contracts. I got turned down for a job I really wanted, and then I (with barely any savings left) turned down a job for lowballing me. Life was really all over the place, but every day one foot went in front of the other anyway.

    2) Talking. Like you're doing now - reach out, ask people to give you some love and encouragement to get you through the toughest times so that all of the trying can eventually pay off.
  • love8383
    love8383 Posts: 169
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    you only have 29 lbs to lose, a lot of people on here have 100+ to lose, just do it in small increments 1 or 2 lbs per week, stress makes losing weight even harder so try not to over think it, i would set a calories goal and weigh in no more than once a week so you don't get obsessed with the numbers.
  • jpa2161
    jpa2161 Posts: 5
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    I am one with over 100 pounds to lose. It's not going to happen overnight I learned. But after 20 days my weight has dropped about 15 pounds but I keep wishing I would see a physical change but don't expect to for a while still. I just focus on eating healthy, logging my food, watching my calorie intake, etc. You will get there :)
  • Kp203N
    Kp203N Posts: 22
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    you only have 29 lbs to lose, a lot of people on here have 100+ to lose, just do it in small increments 1 or 2 lbs per week, stress makes losing weight even harder so try not to over think it, i would set a calories goal and weigh in no more than once a week so you don't get obsessed with the numbers.

    No I don't. I have a small goal of 29 pounds (for now) I have to lose about 140 to reach my goal weight. (of 135) Sorry If i forgot to mention that. Stress does make it harder. And I have already have done those 2 things :) I think I just overthink and worry over it. Thanks :)
  • Kp203N
    Kp203N Posts: 22
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    Thank you all for your posts. :)
  • psych101
    psych101 Posts: 1,842 Member
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    Just take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself :flowerforyou:
  • MagnumBurrito
    MagnumBurrito Posts: 1,070 Member
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    Just take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself :flowerforyou:

    +1 Change one small habit at a time. That's how we all do it. Maybe drink a large glass of water right when you wake up and with every meal. You'll be surprised at the avalanche a small change can turn in to. Stick to it. Don't make excuses.
  • Sommerville_Nutrition
    Sommerville_Nutrition Posts: 20 Member
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    Two things..

    1) ."If you don't believe in yourself no one else will"

    2) And I have a 10 minute rule. I vow to exercise for only 10 minutes when I am feel depressed or stressed I don't set myself up for failure and say oh this week I am going to the gym X number of times and going to do this and that. I just say okay today I'm giving myself 10 minutes, that could be climbing stairs, ride my bike running or walking. What I have found out is 10 minutes runs into 15, 15 into 20 and before you know it wow where did the time go. If your trying to diet then don't over exercise you body will go into starvation mode and say whooaaaa I'm hanging on to the that fat cause I'm gonna need it. And yes tons of water!!! Water = urination and sweating and that is the only way you can release fat unless your getting lipo. I'll throw in my personal favorite as an added bonus. Chia seeds. The dieting miracle I swear. 1 teaspoon for breakfast and one for lunch. It makes you feel full! It's good for you and a great source of dietary fiber. Trust me it works!
  • healthyartist59
    healthyartist59 Posts: 1 Member
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    Believing in the goals we set for ourselves is a confirmation in itself that we believe in our self. Taking a situation mentally to what you feel would be the worst outcome in any situation, prepares you for the bumps along the way because you have already allowed yourself to think about it. The best part is, because you have given it thought, you have started to prepare yourself for any down slides and realize that you can persevere! Surround yourself with positive motivators, be it friends, music, activities/hobbies - don't consume yourself just with weight loss. Make your new goal a part of your daily routine, just like you would getting ready for work. We don't achieve success in all areas of our lives at all times, sometimes we achieve, sometimes we don't. The best routine to get into is to commit to a routine, and keep committing until it comes naturally. Most changes in behavior take at least 30 days or repetativeness before we become comfortable with it to the point of feeling no effort was made to achieve the changes. Our greatest gift is choice. Better yet is that there is no limitation on how many times we choose! That is totally in your control. So keep choosing to commit to the goals you have set. You will get there.
  • Kp203N
    Kp203N Posts: 22
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    Just take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself :flowerforyou:

    +1 Change one small habit at a time. That's how we all do it. Maybe drink a large glass of water right when you wake up and with every meal. You'll be surprised at the avalanche a small change can turn in to. Stick to it. Don't make excuses.

    Thank you guys :)
  • Kp203N
    Kp203N Posts: 22
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    Believing in the goals we set for ourselves is a confirmation in itself that we believe in our self. Taking a situation mentally to what you feel would be the worst outcome in any situation, prepares you for the bumps along the way because you have already allowed yourself to think about it. The best part is, because you have given it thought, you have started to prepare yourself for any down slides and realize that you can persevere! Surround yourself with positive motivators, be it friends, music, activities/hobbies - don't consume yourself just with weight loss. Make your new goal a part of your daily routine, just like you would getting ready for work. We don't achieve success in all areas of our lives at all times, sometimes we achieve, sometimes we don't. The best routine to get into is to commit to a routine, and keep committing until it comes naturally. Most changes in behavior take at least 30 days or repetativeness before we become comfortable with it to the point of feeling no effort was made to achieve the changes. Our greatest gift is choice. Better yet is that there is no limitation on how many times we choose! That is totally in your control. So keep choosing to commit to the goals you have set. You will get there.
    Thanks I'm not giving up. :)
  • squirrelzzrule22
    squirrelzzrule22 Posts: 640 Member
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    I have anxiety problems too, and for me being on top of health and nutrition and exercise actually REALLY helps with the anxiety. So stick with it, day by day, because you CAN do it. You want to lose 30lbs....that is similar to my goal as well. There are people on here who have lost LITERALLY HUNDREDS. If they can turn their lives around like that, you and I can get fit, healthy, and in shape!
  • Solar_Cat
    Solar_Cat Posts: 188 Member
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    Just take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself :flowerforyou:
    ^^^ This.

    And I've noticed that part of being kind to myself means not getting drawn into ANY of the self talk. If I notice the thought "I suck" and then try to counter it with the thought "No, I'm awesome," the only thing I accomplish is starting a mental war. I find it works much better when I disbelieve any and all such random thoughts, and simply get on with doing what I need to be doing. Ignore the commentary. It's just buzzing.
  • bukowski_shine
    bukowski_shine Posts: 70 Member
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    If your trying to diet then don't over exercise you body will go into starvation mode and say whooaaaa I'm hanging on to the that fat cause I'm gonna need it.
    But if you are starving your body isn't is already time for it to use that extra fat instead of hanging on to it? :smokin:

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