Letting go of impossible expectations

I'm struggling a little bit with it. I might be vain, but one of the reasons for losing weight was that I was curious about what I'd look like if I was thin. Now here I am, 19 months later, fitter than I've ever been except maybe when I was 17, and I realize I'll never be thin, unless I get a tummy tuck.

When I read success stories of people who have had one, and compare to mine, I'm guessing I have about 3 pounds of skin and attached fat there. It's ugly. I have two extra boobs when I bend over over my belly button, and another one underneath. I hated my fat arms when I started, and unfortunately I'm left with bat wings there as well... not huge, but enough to give me that horrible 'flap' if I move my arm. My neck is a bit of a mess and I still have a small double chin made of extra skin.

Obviously this is much better than it was when I was obese and I'm nowhere near thinking 'what was the point?', but yeah... it's hard at times to come to terms with the reality. I guess it's a good thing I'm married because I don't think I'd ever be comfortable being naked (or even in a bikini) in front of anyone else.

Please don't tell me to lift heavy and do strength training etc... I've been doing that the whole time (well not at the gym as they won't let you use the squat rack without a trainer). Heck my arms and legs are pretty ripped (well, if you forget the bat wings) and I've been getting a lot of comments about it. My core is pretty strong as well.. under the skin and the last of the fat (I'm probably around 21% body fat at this point, but it's hard to tell obviously). But I was obese pretty much all my life (I'm 36), got a lot of stretch marks gaining back 20 pounds in 6 months when I was 21 and only gained weight from there (guessing 40 pounds in the last 5 years before I started losing), and I have bad skin (never heals properly if I get a cut or something).

I know I'm not the only one dealing with this... how has everyone else come to terms with it?