How do you get your mind right?!?
KEAVES13
Posts: 90 Member
I know that you have to make a decision to change your life, and that no one but you can do that. I know that you have to want it, and that you have to believe you can do it. I also know that it has to be a permanent lifestyle change. What I don't know, is how do you convince your mind to get on board? I guess after 8 years of trying and failing, I feel hopeless some days, like I will always be this weight. And even after being diagnosed with high blood pressure and pre-diabetes, I still just feel like food has this hold over me! If you have any suggestions, tips, or personal stories of how you got your mind right, I would love to hear them. Thanks for sharing! :flowerforyou:
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I think the easiest way to go about it is to choose lifestyle changes that you know you will stick with and that won't de-motivate you or cause you to veer off course. E.g. not restricting the foods you love, but instead eating them when your calories/macros allow them. I honestly eat something unhealthy and junky every day, still been losing weight. I also don't look at food as being good or bad, but simply things like "filling," "tastes good," "nutritious,' "calorie or nutrient dense" etc.
This helped me get over all my food hang ups. So if you know that as a pre-diabetic you need to watch your intake of certain types of foods, then understand how much is too much but don't cut those out entirely.
Also, don't restrict your calories too much. If you can maintain on say... 2200, then 1800-1900 would be a reasonable deficit depending on how much weight you have to lose and how well you can mentally handle being on a deficit. Also, eat at maintenance once a week (not as a "cheat day" but as a way to help maintain sanity and energy) or every other week as needed. Or you can eat at a deficit for a few months, then do a week or two at maintenance, for the same purpose. I'm starting my first maintenance week , in sept I will be doing once a week or bi-weekly maintenance eating depending on how I feel. A lot of people have mentioned that this helps with any stalls but it's just a good idea in general for your body to not under-feed it all the time. I didn't plateau 4 years ago, and I didn't count cals, so I"m guessing that I implemented something like this without realizing it.
And if you want to exercise, do things you love doing. It might be easier for you to focus on the eating first until you feel you have control over food, then you can start exercising however you'd like (just don't over-do it) and recalculate caloric needs again in case your deficit becomes too low.
I like health-calc.net for TDEE calculating, exrx.net is another good site that offers lower estimates. So you could average them out or start with health-calc, since it will be easier to see if the number is too high after a month and you can lower it by 50-100 and monitor.0 -
Start with WHY you are doing this. Look into Simon Sineks book "Start with WHY?" He has a great speech on Ted Talks about this. Your WHY drives decision making.
In my case I had an issue with Alcohol, but I wanted to be healthy for my two boys more than I wanted alcohol. They are my WHY.
Hope this helps,
Robert0 -
One small habit change at a time. Change takes will power, and that comes in a finite amount.0
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Thank you for your replies! Trying to figure it all out, I appreciate the advice!0
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Great replies here! A day at a time. I am also a pre diabetic and I know I want to be here for my kids. Determination is key but know that you have the power to make it happen. You are not alone. Add me if you want.
I am trying to have a better relationship with food so I can control my sugar. For me that has been very hard.0 -
I've never had a right mind. That's why I'm a runner! :laugh:
Seriously. You have to work exercise into the equation. I only do the exercise I like which is why I've stuck with it so long. I like to run so I run. I also like to fish and read so I do that, too. I do not let my exercise time cut into family time. My kids are runners because they used to run with me (now they are old enough they just kick my *kitten*).
Food I use subs. A lot of folks are against it. Don't care. I like sugary tasting stuff so I eat sweet stuff and not just fruit. If I was meant to eat a paleo diet I would have lived a paleo life. I live in 2014 baby!! That means I have sugar free boston cream pie yogurt - oh yeah!! And fat free whipped cream on top. And maybe I'll add some sugar free chocolate syrup. And I love me some frozen fish filets that have too much sodium. Don't eat them everyday but when I'm bust rear tired, it's a lot easier to cook something like that with a bag of steamed veggies out of the microwave than having to do the whole meal thing.
That being said, I also eat weekly cals and not daily. I have a cheat day every week and I eat a deficit for at least five of my seven so I won't feel guilty on football days (wings and alcohol - I'm diabetic so I stay away from beer). If I know I'm coming up on something really big then I plan for it by docking an extra 50 cals a day and maybe doing a little mile walk at night.
The bottom line is that when I weigh less my diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol all stay where they should be a heck of a lot better and I only stick with the exercise I like to do. Best of luck to you!0 -
One small habit change at a time. Change takes will power, and that comes in a finite amount.
Yeah...baby steps. I see to many people fail because they think they need to do a 180* change overnight and that's simply not realistic. Baby steps...small changes here and small changes there with the emphasis of these changes being a healthier and fitter and overall just better you. Before you know it weeks have gone by...then months...then a couple of years...and you wake up and say, "holy ****...I'm awesome."
I'm a couple of years into this little safari I call good livin'...I can tell you right now, I'm a completely different person, and I'm not just talking about my weight...yeah...dropping 40ish Lbs has been a very nice bi-product of getting my **** together...but really, everything else trumps that.
Two years ago I was a 2-3 PAD smoker with borderline pre-diabetic blood works, triglycerides through the roof, soaring LDL, extremely low levels of HDL, on my way to full on metabolic syndrome. My nutritional profile was astonishingly lacking considering that I cooked a lot...just wasn't cooking the right stuff. To boot, a 15 minute walk around the block with my dog was good cause for a snack and a nap...and maybe a beer.
Now...I've been smoke free since Sept 25, 2012...I can walk my dog around the block in my sleep...I ride my bike for 50 and 100 miles at a pop...I can lift heavy things...i can race around a cyclocross track and hold my own...rather than laying by the pool, I'm in it and can easily knock out a mile and more just for ****s and giggles...my nutritional profile is outstanding...not only is my blood work "normal"...everything is in the optimal range. Basically, I can leap tall buildings in a single bound and it's frackin' awesome. i love the new me more than I ever thought possible...I love being awesome.0 -
I know that you have to want it, and that you have to believe you can do it. I also know that it has to be a permanent lifestyle change. What I don't know, is how do you convince your mind to get on board?
You're thinking about it backwards - you don't need to "convince your mind" once you truly want it.0 -
I'll admit I breezed through the replies but pretty much agree with what's been said.
1) I had to figure out what it was about the past attempts didn't work and finally realized it was that I tried to cut out pretty much all the foods that I love. And since I'm a foodie, that just doesn't work for me. I need to enjoy the food I eat or it'll never last. So I found some great low cal/low fat alternatives to my favorites and also made room for the occasional indulgence. I use leaner meats, low fat dairy, less pasta/rice and bulk with veggies in recipes or when plating meals.
1a) Exercise can help a lot because you can earn extra calories and give some wiggle room with your choices.
2) I also believe "why" can help. Many times before I was trying to lose weight for a friend's wedding or reunion or whatever - always to impress other people and it never worked. But when it came down to really needing to lose weight for my health, that made a difference to me. I HATE being on meds and thankfully my doc had been pretty cool about my borderline high cholesterol and blood pressure but that last physical before I made the change, she was making some serious threats if I didn'd do something. Even then, honestly, it was only part of the why but still, a pretty big part of it. I also wanted to be able to shop in the same stores as my friends and keep up with them on day trips and be able to breathe when I tied my shoes and painted my toenails and to change the shower curtain liner without feeling like my arms were going to fall off. LOL. Funny reasons but whatever works, right?!
3) Don't try to change everything at the same time. This is sort of in line with #1 but also includes exercise. i think so many people try to change too many things at once and it gets overwhelming, especially in extreme cases. Don't try to eat more fruits and veggies AND exercise more AND log perfectly AND whatever else all in one week. Set one small goal for every week or two and maybe even find non-food rewards if you think that will help. Like if I log everything and hit my goal for a month, I'll get a mani/pedi. Or put $1 or $5 in a jar for every week you hit goal and in a few months you can buy a new pair of pants becuase you'll probably need a smaller size by then.
Also, patience. You didn't put the weight on overnight and it's not giong to come off that quickly either. Realize this is going to take a while and you'll have some bad weeks here and there. Just keep at it and you'll get there. Small changes are better than no changes, right?!0 -
Yes, I struggle with this too. that is why my screen name is sweetaddict4real. I have real issues with sugar. I have like a real love affiar. LOL. but seriously I have no motivation, but I have all of it in the world. Im not making much sense here. What Im saying is that I want to have another baby soo very badly, yet the DR told me that I have to lose weight first and my weight it preventing me from having a baby. Im borderline diabtic and my body is acting up due to my weight gain. but the sugar calls me soooooooooooooo much that its bad. I have the power to do better,but I dont. I need help.0
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Yes, I struggle with this too. that is why my screen name is sweetaddict4real. I have real issues with sugar. I have like a real love affiar. LOL. but seriously I have no motivation, but I have all of it in the world. Im not making much sense here. What Im saying is that I want to have another baby soo very badly, yet the DR told me that I have to lose weight first and my weight it preventing me from having a baby. Im borderline diabtic and my body is acting up due to my weight gain. but the sugar calls me soooooooooooooo much that its bad. I have the power to do better,but I dont. I need help.
Maybe you should try subbing some, too. I'm serious when I say that Boston Cream Pie yogurt is the bomb. Have you ever tried it? I get the 60 or 80 calorie kind. And I like sugar free ice cream. On sugar free pie. And for a sugar "fix" I drink tea sweetened with honey instead of soda. I control the amount then and I control the cals.
Best of luck!0 -
One small habit change at a time. Change takes will power, and that comes in a finite amount.
Yeah...baby steps. I see to many people fail because they think they need to do a 180* change overnight and that's simply not realistic. Baby steps...small changes here and small changes there with the emphasis of these changes being a healthier and fitter and overall just better you. Before you know it weeks have gone by...then months...then a couple of years...and you wake up and say, "holy ****...I'm awesome."
I'm a couple of years into this little safari I call good livin'...I can tell you right now, I'm a completely different person, and I'm not just talking about my weight...yeah...dropping 40ish Lbs has been a very nice bi-product of getting my **** together...but really, everything else trumps that.
Two years ago I was a 2-3 PAD smoker with borderline pre-diabetic blood works, triglycerides through the roof, soaring LDL, extremely low levels of HDL, on my way to full on metabolic syndrome. My nutritional profile was astonishingly lacking considering that I cooked a lot...just wasn't cooking the right stuff. To boot, a 15 minute walk around the block with my dog was good cause for a snack and a nap...and maybe a beer.
Now...I've been smoke free since Sept 25, 2012...I can walk my dog around the block in my sleep...I ride my bike for 50 and 100 miles at a pop...I can lift heavy things...i can race around a cyclocross track and hold my own...rather than laying by the pool, I'm in it and can easily knock out a mile and more just for ****s and giggles...my nutritional profile is outstanding...not only is my blood work "normal"...everything is in the optimal range. Basically, I can leap tall buildings in a single bound and it's frackin' awesome. i love the new me more than I ever thought possible...I love being awesome.
This really is awesome!0 -
Tell your brain to STFU and do it anyway.0
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One change at a time, but also one day at a time. You can't let yourself get down by a screw up one day (I say this because this is one of my biggest flaws).
Also, while a completely different reason, I'm sure it could apply to a lot of people and they don't even realize it. For years I was on paxil for an anxiety disorder, and taking it really changed my life. 1. I no longer had the extreme anxiety 2. I gained 100 pounds 3. Some SSRI's taken for anxiety and depression (such as paxil) cause what is known as amotivational syndrome. Pretty much because of the overabundance of serotonin in the brain, you become complacent to pretty much everything. Before paxil, I worked out pretty much every day and was very active. Then, I started taking it, and about over the course of a year stopped working out and stopped paying attention to what I was eating, thus gaining 100 pounds.
Last year, I had a discussion with one of my doctors and a psychiatrist about it, who suggested I might try one of the newer SSRIs. It was a hard switch, weaning off one while introducing my body to the other. But, it has made a huge difference. Habits are more easily formed. Following through is easier. I work out everyday. Sticking with my diet is much simpler. I'm slightly more irritable (because before I didn't care what anyone did or thought, I just let everything slide), but a completely normal amount.
So, if you ever take any medication, and some part of your personality changes, it is definitely something to talk to your doctor about!0 -
Start with WHY you are doing this. Look into Simon Sineks book "Start with WHY?" He has a great speech on Ted Talks about this. Your WHY drives decision making.
In my case I had an issue with Alcohol, but I wanted to be healthy for my two boys more than I wanted alcohol. They are my WHY.
Hope this helps,
Robert
^^^^ My 'why' is my boys and myself. I had to go on blood pressure medication 6 months ago at only 38 years old. It took that shock to wake me up. I'm not even 40 and on meds?! My boys deserve better...... and so do I!0 -
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Alright! That is such a great question! I have been wondering about it myself!!
The best idea I came across is: not only to think about what I will gain if I lose weight, but what I am gaining right now staying overweight. Because it is definitely true that some part of us wants to live an unhealthy life. So not only WHY do we want to lose weight, but also WHY we don't. We get something out of it and if we are able to find what it is maybe we can overcome our problems.
Also, a good idea that worked for me so far: start right NOW doing something, take the smallest step possible, but take it! When you start doing something, that is when you get motivated to go on! Especially with exercise, which is also a very good way to overcome stress. For example when something bad happens I try to control my emotions by moving, instead of eating.
I hope I helped! Don't give up! Staying positive is crucial! Let's motivate each other for a better future! 0 -
Thanks for all the feedback..so many truths and things to think about..I appreciate the advice! 0
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One small habit change at a time. Change takes will power, and that comes in a finite amount.
Yeah...baby steps. I see to many people fail because they think they need to do a 180* change overnight and that's simply not realistic. Baby steps...small changes here and small changes there with the emphasis of these changes being a healthier and fitter and overall just better you. Before you know it weeks have gone by...then months...then a couple of years...and you wake up and say, "holy ****...I'm awesome."
I'm a couple of years into this little safari I call good livin'...I can tell you right now, I'm a completely different person, and I'm not just talking about my weight...yeah...dropping 40ish Lbs has been a very nice bi-product of getting my **** together...but really, everything else trumps that.
Two years ago I was a 2-3 PAD smoker with borderline pre-diabetic blood works, triglycerides through the roof, soaring LDL, extremely low levels of HDL, on my way to full on metabolic syndrome. My nutritional profile was astonishingly lacking considering that I cooked a lot...just wasn't cooking the right stuff. To boot, a 15 minute walk around the block with my dog was good cause for a snack and a nap...and maybe a beer.
Now...I've been smoke free since Sept 25, 2012...I can walk my dog around the block in my sleep...I ride my bike for 50 and 100 miles at a pop...I can lift heavy things...i can race around a cyclocross track and hold my own...rather than laying by the pool, I'm in it and can easily knock out a mile and more just for ****s and giggles...my nutritional profile is outstanding...not only is my blood work "normal"...everything is in the optimal range. Basically, I can leap tall buildings in a single bound and it's frackin' awesome. i love the new me more than I ever thought possible...I love being awesome.
This really is awesome!
+ 1 thanks for sharing wolfman0
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