Is it rude to ask a pregnant women when she's due

2»

Replies

  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    You don't:ohwell:
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    If you don't know her, how do you KNOW she's pregnant? She could have a belly from being overweight.

    And....if you don't know her, it's really none of your business anyway if/when her due date is.

    Edited to add: Even if you do know her, and she hasn't told you she's pregnant, DON'T ASK. It's none of your business!
  • tabicatinthehat
    tabicatinthehat Posts: 329 Member
    Don't do it unless you know for sure they're pregnant. Think of how awful that would be if it happened to you. And anyway, is it just for small talk or do you really feel the need to know that?
  • tabicatinthehat
    tabicatinthehat Posts: 329 Member
    It's extremely rude. The woman you ask could be overweight rather than pregnant. If you're not friendly enough with her for her to tell you of her own accord when she's due, then what business is it of yours in the first place?

    Extremely rude? What business is it? So, how far does this invasion of privacy by attempting polite conversation extend? Can i ask if she's having a good day or might that be extremely rude because her dog might have just died? Plus what business is it of mine how her day is going? Can i ask if she's enjoying the weather? No, because her aunt might have just died in a tornado in Kansas. Besides, what business is it of mine if she's having a good day.

    it's just questions. ain't nobody dying cuz they got asked a question. and if they are, well, then they should talk to someone about being wound so tight.

    As someone who carried my weight in my belly when I was bigger, I'm going to go with don't ask, because it is insulting.

    I was asked multiple times if I was pregnant or when I was due, and those were some of the most devastating moment of my life when it came to my self-esteem and body image. I understand that for the most part those comments weren't malicious, but it is rude.

    I also have a good friend of mine who has a tumor in her abdomen that they haven't been able to surgically remove yet and who looks pregnant because of it. When people point that out, she's stuck with a really difficult decision and it's unfair to put someone in a position where they have to expose something personal to you, especially if you don't know them.

    Another good friend of mine is pregnant, but has no intent on keeping the baby and has already found a couple for adoption, and when she's asked by strangers, it's a conversation that she just doesn't want to have and is a further reminder of what she's going through.

    Being pregnant is very personal, even if you're 9 months, ready to pop type pregnant. Unless a stranger grabs you and goes "my water just broke" you should keep your mouth shut about her potential pregnancy.

    That's a lot of really good points that people probably don't think of.
  • feedmedonuts
    feedmedonuts Posts: 241 Member
    I don't know. Maybe I lack people skills but I refuse to ask at all unless I *KNOW* they're pregnant. Also don't make comments on their bodies if they do tell you. For example....the first few months people said I wasn't showing at all and would say I don't look pregnant, etc. Ok that might be kind of a good thing but then it caused me some anxiety and I was worried about my babys health. Then my belly decided to POP and someone asked me how far along I was. When I said 5.5months she looked shocked and said my belly is "awfully big" for only 5.5months. Then I felt morbidly obese :indifferent: Why do people find the need to even comment at all?!
  • kobiemom
    kobiemom Posts: 218 Member
    Favorite Dave Barry quote: "Don't ask a woman if she's pregnant unless she's actively giving birth."
  • ColeCake292012
    ColeCake292012 Posts: 247 Member
    I never ask unless it has been implied by them that they are, in fact, pregnant!
  • lynn1982
    lynn1982 Posts: 1,439 Member
    Unless she has specifically told you that she is currently pregnant, then NO, it is not ok to ask.

    I say this as someone who carries my weight around my belly and have been asked many times before when I am due and have had complete strangers touch my non-pregnant, just fat, belly. It's uncomfortable. Even now at a healthy weight, if I am bloated, then I look pregnant. Just yesterday I had a cashier at the grocery store tell me that I shouldn't be consuming the canned tuna that I was buying because it is "bad for the baby." So...NEVER EVER ASSUME. Unless you see that baby popping out, or if she starts the conversation by stating that she is currently pregnant, DO NOT assume.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • Zerodette
    Zerodette Posts: 200 Member
    I am an OB and I joke that I wouldn't even ask a patient on Labor and Delivery if she was pregnant.

    If you don't know the lady it's really not your business. Sure, babies are cute and fun, and having a baby is USUALLY joyful. But what if she is newly postpartum after delivering a baby that is very sick or has died? What if she's still pregnant with a baby that she found out is going to have serious problems? Hey, what if it's actually an abdominal tumor she's having removed next week? It's not okay to insert yourself into a stranger's other medical conditions, is it?
  • jgranger221
    jgranger221 Posts: 48
    If it's a co-worker, I'll typically ask another female if so and so is pregnant. I assume that a woman would share the news with other women before they would share with a man. Is that sexist? Perhaps. Is it true? Absolutely.

    I'm not asking because I'm being nosey- I'm asking because I want to share in the woman's joy. I work in a high school, so there are a lot of people working there. Just because the mother-to-be hasn't told me personally, doesn't mean she is keeping it from me. There are just too many people in my workplace to share with individually. Plus, having such a large workplace, there is typically a shower given for the new mother, and depending on how well I know her, I often contribute to a gift despite not being invited to said shower :-)

    Once I know that she is indeed pregnant, I can use my all-purpose ice breaker "So, how many are you having?" My wife and I have twins, so that usually gets a chuckle, and in more than one case, the mother was indeed expecting twins, and she now knows that she has a resource to go to with questions on real-world issues that only parents of twins would know. Plus, we had two of everything and I was able to offload some surplus items on these women. (Free crib mattress, anyone?)
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
    No matter how well you know the person, once you know for sure that she is pregnant DO NOT touch the belly!!!!!

    I agree that it is rude to ask if someone is pregnant. Let them bring it up.
  • Flab2Fab27
    Flab2Fab27 Posts: 461 Member
    Never EVER ask if they are pregnant. It's up to them to tell you.

    If they're not pregnant, you've just called them fat and hurt their feelings terribly. It's not worth it. (And yep, this has happened to me in the past.)

    Agree 100% and also had this happen to me about 20lbs ago. I never say anything until the person in question mentions it themselves or unless it's widely known that they are pregnant.

    You may feel like an idiot asking somebody about their pregnancy when they're just fat but they'll probably feel even worse.
  • Miss_1999
    Miss_1999 Posts: 747 Member
    Unless you know and or see someone wearing something like this:

    1934497_108479827871_717303_n.jpg?oh=6ede540892f4364778c03aabd6168224&oe=54711AFF&__gda__=1415957670_18fa534801b205bc130c0ba2d3fdcd61

    It's a no go. And if they are wearing a shirt that has Baby with an arrow pointed down to their belly and they AREN'T pregnant, then sorry, they deserve to get offended. Women who are dressed in regular clothing who are mistaken for being pregnant, not cool. Not cool at all.

Categories