I can't stick to my calories.

First, you have to want this and it does take work. Try pre-logging your day, as that way you have a plan to stick to (you say its difficult for you to plan, why?). If you're exercising, try adding half of those calories back so you have a little extra in the bank to use.

extremely difficult for me to plan ahead

If I don't plan ahead I'd always go over. You just really have to try and find the time to plan, it makes a world of difference.

Why is it difficult for you to plan ahead? Planning ahead ensures that you meet your nutrient's requirements like carbs, dietary fat, protein, and fiber which keeps you full. I don't doubt life is busy and hectic but you have to make this a priority if you want good health.

Where did the 1400 and change come from and what is your height?

Here's a big question for you: are you losing some weight at 1500-2000 calories? 1400 calories sounds pretty low for someone your size. For perspective, my basal metabolism at 160 pounds (my starting weight) was over 1300 calories. Considering you're a woman of some substance, 1400 sounds like it might be less than you burn in a day even if you stayed in bed napping.

For MFP to be as useful as it can be, you need to plan your food to some extent (even if it's just "I know dinner's pasta, so I should have a salad with tuna for lunch"), have some healthy, lower-calorie snacks on hand to prevent snack attacks on higher calorie, less nutrititious things, and log even if you had what you perceive as a "bad" day. But also re-evaluate your goal. You may have trouble hitting it because your body is insisting it needs enough calories to keep functioning--and it may be on to something.

If you want it, you need the willpower to do it. You have that willpower, you just need to exercise it.

Planning is the easiest way. Even if you know you're out and about, think ahead about what your options are. Planning and smaller portions should help.

Maybe more support would help? Feel free to add me, message me, or whatever, remind me to post my diary, etc. I'm looking for support. Sorry about the wall of text
Amandacheryl (user name)

More support will do nothing if you're not willing to do it yourself.
Plan ahead. Only you can do that. Only you will know if you're sticking to it... not your friends list.... no one but yourself.

You can have a cheering section, and that's awesome... but they will never be the only reason you need to change your habits or put effort into making the change.

Work out!! I can almost never stay with my calorie count unless I work out and "earn" some extra calories through out the day. If you aren't at the point where you can handle much exercise, just go for a walk or put the treadmill on a low setting. Every little bit helps. I would also recommend snacking on fruits and vegetables. They'll make you feel fuller on fewer calories than a lot of other snacks.

I could have written this myself. It's all about planning. Make a commitment to planning, and go from there.

Is the scale moving? If it is moving at 2000 calories, I would not stress at this point. Even if the scale is moving slower than you'd like, if it is still moving downwards, you're making progress. Is your goal too low? Don't be afraid to bump it up to 1 lb a week to get into the routine of reduced eating. Goals can always be adjusted.

Are you drinking enough water? Are you eating out of stress or emotion?

This is a lifelong journey. You're not just losing weight, you're learning about yourself, retraining and tweaking along the way.

Losing a lot of weight is VERY hard work. Do you really want to do that? Because it sounds like you want to be thin, but don't want to do the work of losing. If you don't want to do the work, don't do it! But be happy with your choice! Enjoy your life and your food without the guilt and depression and worrying. Stop beating yourself up. You can start losing when you're ready. The most important thing is to be happy. So make the choice that makes you happiest!! If the thing you WANT is to do all the work of losing weight...

VISIT A DOCTOR, who can give you a rough estimate of a calorie goal for the day. They can determine if you have physical problems, will tell you what kind of foods you should and shouldn't be eating, and guide you on your journey. Follow their advice over everyone else's. They know more about what you need than your friends, co-workers and Internet friends.

EAT RIGHT. Your doctor may stress this over a number. A lot of doctors balk a bit at numbers, stressing weight loss as a by-product of healthy living. But they'll give you a number, if you press. Cut out the junk food. "Egads! No! I can't live and be happy without my cookies!" Yeah, you can. To paraphrase SamIAm, "Try it, try it, you will see!" After a month, you won't even miss them.

Your doctor will probably stress a lifestyle change over portion adjustments. Supposedly, it works better long-term and it does make you healthier. Start working in more fruits and veggies - half of everything should be fruits and veggies. Also lean, white meat. Whole grain breads. Low or no-fat dairy. Not so much sodium. Take it slow, but work towards it!

Save your occasional treat for rare occasions, like birthdays and holidays. (If you celebrate a lot of those, lol, make them very small treats.). Eventually, you will stop thinking of these things as treats and start viewing them as unhealthy food items you don't even want all that much. (It's Ture! Really! I know you don't believe it now, lol, but it happens to everyone who eats well!)

If you're sticking to a number of calories, stick to it. If you're using the numbers, you have to use them and do that work. It means weighing and measuring all your food. It's a big pain in the butt, but it's necessary. If you want to use the numbers - and I really think it would benefit you - weigh and measure. The first few days will be rough, while your stomach is shrinking and your body is adjusting to the new, lower intake, but it gets easier with time.

EXERCISE. You say you've started and yay that. Find things you like. Walk, swim, lift weights - whatever you like. Keep doing it. If you find that you no longer enjoy what you're doing, do something else. Just don't take a break. Have the something else decided upon and do it.

BE COMMITTED. You must WANT it. You must want to do the work. If you don't, you'll fail and send yourself back into guilt and sadness. Do you feel like you actually have motivation? If you don't, put if off to do later, when you are motivated. Either commit to doing it or commit to not doing it. Then live happily with your choice. If you're going to lose weight, commit to seeing the doctor, eating right and exercising.

Rephrase every sentence that begins with "I can't do it because..." into "I can do this because..." and find an ending. Find a way. Use your imagination. As the nuns used to tell us, "God gave you a brain. Use it."

BE DETERMINED. If you're determined, nothing will stop you. Not your cravings, not unsupportive words or looks from others. Not anything. Whatever obstacles come up (including a day where you overeat), you'll keep going. You won't say, "I don't feel like getting in the pool today, so I will take one day off." You'll know that one can turn into two and then thirty, so you just won't. You'll be driven to do it, every day. Because you want to succeed.

When your wimpy self thinks, "I'm too fat for the gym or a bathing suit," the determination will say, "Well, that's too damn bad, because I'm doing it, anyway."

BE PATIENT. Because Oh, my God. You're going to have to do this work every single day for a year (at least, maybe two years) and although at first the scale will go down a lot, after that you will have to live with doing everything right (working so hard!) and only seeing little adjustments in the scale. Sometimes it will go up a bit and you'll be like, "HOW?! From where?!" Scale fluctuations happen. You have to be patient and wait for the weight loss.

Also, the more you lose, the freaking harder it gets! If you thought there would be a nice payoff to doing it right and losing your first fifty pounds, think again! The payoff is that the next fifty are harder. I'm about halfway and it's never been harder for me. So, you really need the patience, lol.

TAKE PICTURES. I wish to God I had done that when I started. It's so important, IMO. Such a huge reward for when you know you've lost, say 50 pounds, but you don't think you look much better and can't believe you look like the Model My Diet girl or how your friends say you look. Plus, then you can show yourself, "I looked like that. I look like this. I did this." When you see no difference in the mirror, comparing pictures will help. I recommend a pic every ten to fifteen pounds. Nobody else has to see them.

BE FLEXIBLE. Find what works for you. At first, you just force it - the eating well and exercising. It sucks a lot. As time goes on, you'll begin to notice what you like and what you don't. You have to do what works for YOU. Maybe you pre-plan, maybe you take it as it comes, bearing in mind you have to meet calorie goals. Maybe you don't like the gym and would rather walk or bike ride. Maybe you want to figure out your TDEE and do the math and follow that. It's such a long road that changing things up is almost inevitable. Find what you like and stick with that. Everyone has to walk their own path.

Follow the doctor's instructions, first and foremost. Then, read other people's ideas and stories. Maybe you find inspiration there.

But no wimpiness and no "I Cant"s and no excuses. Do not coddle yourself and don't give your sob story to others and let their polite coddling be an excuse.

If you don't want it, don't do it. If you do, then DO IT.

I wrote more for you than I think I've ever written. So, there you go.

Good luck.