Fad Diets, 2 Slices of Cheese & WLS? A Cry for Help?

Hello everyone,

If this is in the wrong section, please move it to where it's more appropriate.

A little bit about myself before I go into talking about my friend. I am 5'4" and used to weigh 232lbs, currently weigh 223lbs, having lost 9lbs. In the past, I committed to cutting back on junk food and doing 30-60 minutes exercise everyday, I lost 44lbs and my weight was 185lbs, only to gain it all back when I fell off the wagon. I DO know I can lose weight and this time around, I am doing it with a much more positive outlook, making it a lifestyle change rather than treating it as a diet.

Since making changes to my lifestyle to be more healthy, I have found eating 1200-1400 calories per day has helped me overcome my binge-eating habits because I came to the realization that I didn't need to eat four times the portion size when the regular portion is enough to keep me satisfied without feeling full and physically sick. I have tried fad diets, shake diets, just about everything except the diet pills - none of diets worked long-term personally, the weight always regained - sometimes with a vengeance.

My friend is struggling with her weight. She weighs 332lbs and is roughly the same height as me. She has low self-esteem and calls herself fat all the time. (It's one thing to be realistic, it's another to beat yourself up with the fact.) She has a habit of going on fad diets and going off them if she doesn't see immediate results or if she becomes bored with it.

She once went vegan for a few weeks, exclaimed about how much weight she lost then once she stopped, she regained the lost weight back. She told me that she had lost weight in high-school by eating very minimal amounts of food. I asked if the weight stayed off, she said yes until she stopped the diet. Doesn't that make it painfully obvious that diets don't work long-term?

A few days ago, her behavior started to worry me. I went over to her house and she told me she is now on shake diet but she hasn't started yet. She stayed awake until 4am drinking beer and only had two hours sleep. She told me she hadn't started her shake diet yet and felt guilty for "cheating" aka drinking beer and but that didn't stop her from downing beer can after beer can in front of me. It's confusing when her words contradict her actions.

She admitted to me she only had two slices of cheese the entire day - she said this about five times while I was there, almost like she was bragging and proud of herself. I'll give her props for trying to change her eating habits but let's be real, two slices of cheese is a pathetic amount of food to force your body to rely on. When I frowned and told her that's not good, she went and got herself a glass of her diet shake, drank it and raved how delicious it tasted.

I don't personally believe in shake diets. As a meal replacement once in awhile, yes, I think that is okay but my friend wants to live ON the shake diet. She wants to try the Rapid cycle (Week 1 consisting of mostly shakes to boost weight loss) for not one week as the shake product instructs, but for THREE WEEKS. Her reasoning? Because she has a lot of weight to lose.

The reason I was going over to her house was because we were going to Zumba together, it was a free session and I had never been to Zumba before so I thought I would give it a shot. We were walking from her house to the local bus-stop and it was 240m, she said that she was out of breath. I was concerned because if walking got her out of breath, how would she handle an hour of high-level activity such as Zumba?

The hour of Zumba came and went. She looked dead exhausted and it dawned on me that she had only two hours sleep, one shake drink, 2 slices of cheese and had slammed her body with copious amounts of beer. She kept coughing a lot - does that mean she got some kind of asthma attack from forcing her unfit body to do Zumba for an hour? That can't be healthy at all.

She weighed herself the next day and told me she lost 1lb. I weighed myself and found I lost 1lb as well. I was excited for her, y'know? As small as 1lb can be, at least it's SOMETHING! I congratulated her and said that "Slow and steady wins the race" I really do believe that losing weight slowly and consistently is safe - even if you end up having to wait longer.

Now, all of the sudden, she's talking about lap band surgery and is being referred to a doctor for a consultation. I... just, I'm so confused. I thought she was going to give the shake diet a go? I'm sure she can keep losing weight if she eats properly (ACTUAL meals, not 2 slices of cheese and shake diets) and continues with Zumba more consistently. She says lap band surgery stops the hunger and she's had friends who had WLS, that they lose all the weight. That's why she wants to have it done. I thought weight loss isn't always guaranteed with WLS especially if you go into it with the misguided expectation that it's "easy"?

I want to support her but the way she is approaching the whole thing over the last few days has made me cringe. I keep thinking she is going to be one of those WLS patients who are miserable years after surgery and wish they had done it the old fashioned way. Before people get angry - I agree WLS can be a helpful tool but I don't think my friend is at that stage where she can implement WLS safely without damaging her health further. I know I sound like a jerk for saying that because it's not my place. I've watched her stumble and fall off the diet wagon so many times for several years, if she can't stick to a diet consistently before WLS, how is she going to cope when she wants to get off the restrictive diet they have you on after WLS?

In the end, if she wants to do it, she can - it's her life, it's her body after all. I just hope she doesn't end up even more miserable than she already is. That's my main concern. Sorry this was so long. I hope I haven't offended anyone and I don't mean to make myself sound like an expert - I just know what's worked for me.