Ex wife issues/questions

I don't really have any answer as to WHY she is doing it, but I can tell you that my husband's ex did the SAME thing when they got divorced. She was the one who wanted the divorce and the one who filed, but after it was finalized she continued to text and/or call him to talk. She would always come up with an excuse as to why she was calling or texting (example: "Hey, did you know Tommy's brother is in jail?) and did not stop doing it until my husband and I got engaged.

Totally normal....don't reply. I did that with my ex when I got lonely......sad but true. She is sending them when she is bored or starting to miss you. It will wear off and will just mess with your feelings. Delete them for your own well being.

I had this same thing. Then I watched a chick flick called The Holiday and it changed my view. Some people just like knowing they still have the power. Like they can contact you whenever they want to, and you'll respond. Kinda like having their pie and eating it too. This is where the friendly or not so friendly ultimatum needs to come into play. Hope it gets better for you. Take it easy!

I don't know how long ya'lll were married for, but i wouldn't say it is completely abnormal. I mean you were probably her best friend someone she told every thing too. That takes some getting used too.

Sort of like when a person dies and something happens you go to pick up the phone to tell them, but then you remember they aren't here anymore.

The only thing is you are still here for her to talk to. I wouldn't respond to them or respond less and less and eventually you will be replaced by another BFF.

Yes, She has one son from a previous relationship, and her and I had 2 sons together.

When we are around each other, she is not cold to me, but never gives any indication she is regretting her decision.

Dont get me wrong, i did not ask for the divorce, and I am not sure I could go back to someone who turned their back to something I thought was a lifelong commitment.

I do need to move on....

Do not go back. I'm at the end of finalizing my divorce (I left him). He calls and texts me every few weeks...he cheated and I found out about it. We have one child together and it is not worth the heart ache of trying to get back together. Once a cheater always a cheater in my oppinion. I love him dearly but my life and sanity is more important that him wanting a booty call or him having regrets. You need to talk with her calmly and tell her it is time to move on. Speak of the children only during phone calls. They need both parents if possible....but they do not need to think that you and she will get back together, it will only cause more issues later on.

Just tell her unless it has to do with the kids, then it is best if you both kept your distance from each other. You will thank yourself later.

My ex and I went through it from both sides. We were bestfriends for 4+ years, then things between us got ugly. He was the one who decided to end things, but still wanted me (his bestfriend) in his life. I tried, but didn't take it so well when another girl (part of the reason we split) became his girlfriend. It took about a year, and we are now friends again, but on a very limited basis. I keep my distance from him, because I am happily married, and our significan others both have issues with us being friends. I generally only call him for one of his moms recipies or for help on a video game. You do need to tell her, again, that she needs to stop. It's more stress on you and will make it harder to move on. I'm sorry for this misfortune, things will get better. Good luck.

I'm certainly no expert on these situations, but when I read your post the first thing that came to mind was this; Some people are unhappy and they don't know why, So they look at their partner and decide that's the problem, they get a divorce and then in the weeks/months that follow they realize they are still unhappy, So, deep down they may regret the split but have too much pride to admit it openly, so they call and carry on as if nothing has changed. In your case if you are really "done" and want to move on, I would not answer the texts or engage in any communication except when your son's are involved, otherwise if getting back together appeals to you, then talking and communicating as much as possible would probably lead to reconcile. Good Luck!

I still text with my ex.. I am remarried and he is still single with an on again off again psycho girlfriend. We have kids so it is important we can talk. I miss him at times, but mainly It is about trying to make him smile. I wish him to be happy so most of my texts ( and his) are very supportive and bantering... eh everyone is different.. I just want to be able to be friends. So far, it is working although we aren't close friends.

My ex husband did the exact same thing. After speaking with my personal therapist about it, he said I should politely explain to him (and set that dreaded boundary) that unless his conversation is releated to our children, then I'm not interested in conversation with him.

I had this same thing. Then I watched a chick flick called The Holiday and it changed my view. Some people just like knowing they still have the power. Like they can contact you whenever they want to, and you'll respond. Kinda like having their pie and eating it too. This is where the friendly or not so friendly ultimatum needs to come into play. Hope it gets better for you. Take it easy!

This. It's a control thing.

My husband told me the same thing. "I'm not happy". Ugh. Were not divorced yet, but I sure hope he doesn't pull that crap me with me. I don't text him or call and he doesn't either. We were married for 7 years. He left me while I was in the hospital recovering from a knee surgery. How sad is that!

My parents divorced in 2001 after being married for 25 years. I can't imagine what it's like to go through losing your partner, but I can tell you what it's like to see your parents split up. My mom filed for divorce and the separation was more or less amicable. However she does still contact my dad after all this time. It's not everyday or even every month, but she does call when it's his birthday or around the holidays. Of course she also gets in touch with him if there is a medical issue going on or if there is some sort of big news about me or my sister. If I were you, I would ask your ex to limit her communication to issues like these. There is no reason to talk on a daily basis after a divorce unless you have very small children that are constantly reaching milestones.

On the other hand, don't let communication dwindle to the point that you go years without speaking. It's important for your kids to know that when push comes to shove your parents can at least be friendly to each other. Otherwise one of you will become the bad guy in their eyes. One day your kids will be old enough to graduate from high school, graduate from college, get married and have babies. They will want both of you there for those big events.