Watching what I eat has made me "less fun"

I haven't had anyone point that out to me, but I FEEL like I am less fun...

I am not drinking until my bday trip at the end of this month, I am not planning any dinners out with other couples or gfs, I bring my own food to friends' houses/cook-outs, I am not entertaining right now (I am known for gourmet & ethnic dinner parties lol) I feel anxious when a situation causes me to have to grab a bite out - or I skip/delay eating until I can eat something I am positive I can log accurately...

I need to relax!!!

I went with the truth. When people were like just one more drink it's not that many calories blah blah blah. I told them I didn't want another. I was happy with what I ate/drank and it was true. There was a time where I would drink until I couldn't stand but now staying in my calorie goal makes me happy. And I am a sushi fanatic but instead of having special rolls I go basic. I'll eat two regulars like one tuna one salmon roll because I can have both for the cost of other rolls like salmon tempura with avocado and cream cheese and deep fried with special sweet sauce. Also cutting spicy mayo from any roll saves you loads of calories.

I honestly tend to know where I am eating before I leave so I plan out what I want before I get there so it looks more natural than having to fret on the spot and I never look disappointed by only being able to get x amount because I already know. Like I went with hubby and friends to an all you can eat Indian buffet so I calculated how many glasses of chai I could have how much pompadoms and naan and everything I was going to eat. I had a 900 calorie lunch but to me it was worth it and looked natural. I was also honestly still full come dinner so my dinner was a banana. I do the same everywhere. Like I know what I can eat at Burger King for 400 Calories. I can do that with several places that my friends like to go to so I never have to justify or explain dieting to them.

Still go, just don't eat or drink the same things they do. They are probably more concerned about your lack of participation than what you put in your body.

Is there a certain number of sushi rolls that makes a person more fun?!?!?! Hehe just teasing. But seriously. Don't call attention to it and just quietly do you and no one will say anything.

I don't get this. You're still the same person. Just because you don't stuff your face with sushi doesn't mean your personality has changed. I think that you eating healthy is making your friends rethink their food choices and they resent that. You're not fun because you're making them feel guilty.

Not your fault. That's their problem.

I think it's about how you define "fun." Is "fun" having a few more drinks, having a ton of sushi rolls? Or is "fun" just going out (whether you're drinking a margarita or a water, or having 1 sushi roll instead of 3 sushi rolls)?

I think if you simply point out to people that the amount of alcohol you drink or sushi rolls you eat has no direct impact on the amount of fun they are having, they might start to get it.

Easier said then done, I'm sure - but there should be no direct impact there (unless alcohol or sushi directly changes your personality, which for some folks, it might).

Hello. Yep,sounds familiar. I think I understand what you feel.

It happened me recently with a nice woman I have been seeing. She, kind of accidentally, blurted out that my dieting and MyFittnessPal recording was "so anti-social" because I didn't want to eat some pizza & chips she had bought for a group of friends who were painting her kitchen. It was fun day, but I found myself bothered by the comments.
Because she was, I suppose, a little inconvenienced that the treats/lunch she bought to say 'thank you' to everyone ware not OK with me. And she had tried to take me into account by buying some pre-prepared couscous salad which she thought was healthy. But it was chock-full of cheeses and oil and as bad as the pizza :-). I guess she was (in a small way) disappointed at not being able to be a good hostess or say thank you or whatever.... There wasn't a big embarrassing scene or anything like that. I just politely declined the stuff, made a joke about being anal obsessive compulsive and dug a banana out from somewhere. But I felt a little bad and wondered was I being a bit of an irritation.

However, I feel now that there's no point thinking I've inconvenienced her or anyone. It's my life and my body, right? Maybe the best thing to do is to kindly thank people for the offer of whatever it is (booze, pizza, chocs) and tell them something which helps them reconcile what you're doing i.e. "my running-friend/gym buddy is doing better than me this month.... so I'm trying to be good".... or "...I'm getting really close to my target(s) and don't want to flake now..." etc.
Then, celebrate when you hit your goal :-))). I still delighted after hitting my goal weight 70kg on Tuesday. So I had wine and chocs on Wed, sausages & pasta on Thurs and then set the bar a little lower.... so I can lose some more and put it back on as muscle. I'm MUCH happier doing than, than having 1/2 a pizza some day.
Good luck

Best thing to do is suggest different things - I also struggled with friends who only ate and drank as activities. I started suggesting other things - got a six flags season pass with my friend to do that on weekends - bring our own cooler with healthy food - instead of a bar, hiking with another group, and if someone really wants "food days" I offer to host and cook for everyone instead! Some friends may fall away, but even when you're "done" - do you think you could go back to bars/restaurants all the time to maintain? Also since you're still going out now - instead of not going at all, which I had to do - it's kind of their problem! Try some meetup groups for hiking, whatever activities you're into - find friends who are more into doing "things"!

Who ARE these people? No one in my life has ever cared what or how much I was eating.

I do have a few alcoholics around me who try to push me to drink sometimes (I'm just not much of a drinker) but they don't care if I'm dieting.

Since I don't know the "background story" on this, I'll just say a few things....

I've found it best not to necessarily mention or talk a lot about what you are or are not eating.... (people don't understand, they jump to conclusions, and they certainly don't want to know how many calories, fat grams, etc. are in what they're eating.)

If someone "notices" the change in your behavior, just tell them you're trying to make "healthier choices". (truth, and much easier to deal with than the word "diet" or "lifestyle change")

Mostly, I have to assure my family that they don't need to fix special meals for me or avoid having certain foods at any event. I'm perfectly capable of making good choices with what I have to work with (well, most of the time, lol). Even if it's not the healthiest food, has a lot of calories, etc... then I just have less of it. Once they see that I pretty much eat whatever, they seem to relax a lot more.

Hopefully this helps... :flowerforyou:

Who ARE these people? No one in my life has ever cared what or how much I was eating.

I do have a few alcoholics around me who try to push me to drink sometimes (I'm just not much of a drinker) but they don't care if I'm dieting.

It's the same thing; your friends want you to drink when they're drinking while her friends want her to eat and drink when they're doing it. I'm pretty sure that your friends have mocked you and laughed at you a time or two for being such a stickler when it comes to booze just like she's being heckled by her friends for monitoring her food intake and booze consumption while they're not doing it.

I thought sushi was low calorie? Surely you know when you're going to have these outings with friends. If you want to appease them, just budget your calories to accommodate 3 sushi rolls and some margaritas.

If you really don't want extra though, keep telling them no or make new friends. Once I started getting fit (and my friends stayed the same), I realized I had to find new friends.

You are also "less fat".

^^what I was about to say

Also this thread is very ironic since I am sitting at my computer stuffing my face with California rolls.

Oh this reminds me a post yesterday about a survey of British women who said they prefered chubbier men because the fit men weren't as much fun.

Maybe eat and drink slower? Nurse your sushi roll or drink so that you won't be ready for another as soon as everyone else. Order a club soda with lime so it looks like you are drinking a mixed drink. Find a lower calorie drink so you can enjoy 2 (if you want). Liquor mixed with a low calorie mixer is going to be much lower in calories than the typical bar marguarita.

Maybe exercise more on days you go out so you can have one more without blowing your calories through the roof.

Who ARE these people? No one in my life has ever cared what or how much I was eating.

I do have a few alcoholics around me who try to push me to drink sometimes (I'm just not much of a drinker) but they don't care if I'm dieting.

It's the same thing; your friends want you to drink when they're drinking while her friends want her to eat and drink when they're doing it. I'm pretty sure that your friends have mocked you and laughed at you a time or two for being such a stickler when it comes to booze just like she's being heckled by her friends for monitoring her food intake and booze consumption while they're not doing it.

True.

I guess I know more drinkers than eaters. lol

Honestly, though, it's only maybe three people in my entire social circle, but they are people I've known my entire life. Not sure we'd be friends as adults if we'd just met.

Personally, I find it fun to be hot.

In that case, you are the most fun person I know baybee......

:laugh: :blushing: