Would you even acknowledge me?

let1179
let1179 Posts: 58 Member
in Chit-Chat
This community is great, people of all different backgrounds, and shapes and sizes, with wonderful support! There's flirtation that floats around here, and I just can't help but think in "reality" would ever exist? How many of you would walk right past me because of my weight? Who can honestly say I wouldn't be looked over?

Note: Just something I have thought about, not judging or any other negative feelings, just want to know.
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Replies

  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    If you spoke directly to me I would not look you over. Sometimes you just have to insist on being noticed. It helps to be really hyper and loud. Ok, I'm sort of joking...but really, don't sit back and let life pass you by!!
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    Weight or looks never...if you had a bad tude than yes.
  • boxfitliftmo
    boxfitliftmo Posts: 261
    I often think this when I go on these threads.

    For example the big girl taking a great pic of her face, yet in reality would not even get a look in. Its the real truth.
  • let1179
    let1179 Posts: 58 Member
    I'm getting the whole me in a pic here soon, need to anyone for comparison photos, it's humiliating and hurtful though, but must be done.
  • _Tink_
    _Tink_ Posts: 3,845 Member
    I don't make eye contact with anyone in public, but it's because I'm shy and has nothing to do with anyone's appearance.
  • _SantaClause
    _SantaClause Posts: 335 Member
    I don't like people.

    I would walk right past you because I don't know you. So unless you have something interesting to bring to the table, I would walk right past you. That has nothing to do with weight/attractiveness/anything else.

    Gotta get your self some confidence though, if you want to be noticed.
  • ThePhoenixIsRising
    ThePhoenixIsRising Posts: 781 Member
    In these forums you don't get "looked at" unless you first make yourself known. IRL it is the same. Unless you put yourself out there people will many times overlook you. If you want irl contact with people you have to reach out irl! It's all on you, you can't judge someone for not opening to you especially if you aren't willing to do so first.
  • let1179
    let1179 Posts: 58 Member
    I'm getting the whole me in a pic here soon, need to anyone for comparison photos, it's humiliating and hurtful though, but must be done.

    No. Destroying your anonymity online by posting a true photo of yourself (which your find humiliating and hurtful) is NOT necessary.

    And I tell you this with the best of intentions.

    It is not necessary even though your pals and associates all around you do this on a regular basis and this is a behavior that has been modeled for you since you were in elementary school.

    You can discipline your eating habits and change your appearance WITHOUT blasting a photo of yourself, along with your life story, all over the world wide web. Okay?

    Got it thanks!
  • funchords
    funchords Posts: 413 Member
    Some people are visually oriented (and weight may or may not be a factor), and some people are oriented towards other attributes like heart, attitude, money, humor, car, tattoos, whatever. And some minority of people are visually attracted to big people.

    I've been a fat boy since puberty. At 51, I'm still surprised at the good number of wonderful souls who never noticed my weight, or at least they never let it change how they treat me. The others don't treat me at all, and I have no idea if it's because of my weight or because of some other factor -- perhaps they don't treat anybody well!

    But, of course, more and more people will start giving you a different eye as you get closer to their preferred weight. This is just nature and we can rail against how mindless it is, but it's exactly because it is mindless that we won't ever be able to control it very well. Come to peace with it: It's one of those proverbial things we cannot change.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I walk past people every day without acknowledging a single one unless I absolutely have to.

    So yeah, I'd probably walk right past you without a second glance.
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    Why would you want to be flirted with all the time?
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    What? :huh:
    WTF is going on today? :noway:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    What? :huh:
    WTF is going on today? :noway:

    Would glance at
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    I walk past people every day without acknowledging a single one unless I absolutely have to.

    So yeah, I'd probably walk right past you without a second glance.

    basically , I barely notice other people

    unless they are right in my field of vision and 100% a drop dead babe then i might notice them for a min
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    This community is great, people of all different backgrounds, and shapes and sizes, with wonderful support! There's flirtation that floats around here, and I just can't help but think in "reality" would ever exist? How many of you would walk right past me because of my weight? Who can honestly say I wouldn't be looked over?

    Note: Just something I have thought about, not judging or any other negative feelings, just want to know.

    If your IRL persona is like your MFP persona (generic avatar, closed/private profile, no identifying info, including age or sex), yeah, I would walk right past you, because you would be wearing a big cardboard box that puts off the "I don't want you to know me" vibe.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    This community is great, people of all different backgrounds, and shapes and sizes, with wonderful support! There's flirtation that floats around here, and I just can't help but think in "reality" would ever exist? How many of you would walk right past me because of my weight? Who can honestly say I wouldn't be looked over?

    Note: Just something I have thought about, not judging or any other negative feelings, just want to know.

    If your IRL persona is like your MFP persona (generic avatar, closed/private profile, no identifying info, including age or sex), yeah, I would walk right past you, because you would be wearing a big cardboard box that puts of the "I don't want you to know me" vibe.

    And considering the average non-fitness related exchange with the most vocal members of MFP, OP's self protective approach is probably the best way to go.

    I see you are wearing the same cardboard box. Oh well...
  • RunnerStephe
    RunnerStephe Posts: 2,195
    This community is great, people of all different backgrounds, and shapes and sizes, with wonderful support! There's flirtation that floats around here, and I just can't help but think in "reality" would ever exist? How many of you would walk right past me because of my weight? Who can honestly say I wouldn't be looked over?

    Note: Just something I have thought about, not judging or any other negative feelings, just want to know.

    Why would I look? Would you pass me by?
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    This community is great, people of all different backgrounds, and shapes and sizes, with wonderful support! There's flirtation that floats around here, and I just can't help but think in "reality" would ever exist? How many of you would walk right past me because of my weight? Who can honestly say I wouldn't be looked over?

    Note: Just something I have thought about, not judging or any other negative feelings, just want to know.

    If your IRL persona is like your MFP persona (generic avatar, closed/private profile, no identifying info, including age or sex), yeah, I would walk right past you, because you would be wearing a big cardboard box that puts of the "I don't want you to know me" vibe.

    And considering the average non-fitness related exchange with the most vocal members of MFP, OP's self protective approach is probably the best way to go.

    I see you are wearing the same cardboard box. Oh well...

    Oh well what?

    Meaning you're giving off the same "don't want you to know me" vibe, and therefore he would pass you by.

    I think the OP is taking whatever flirting is going on with her a little too seriously if she's really wondering the posted question.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    It depends what you mean by acknowledge and in what circumstances. Im often quite busy and wrapped up in my own world so I might not take notice of anyone and weight, colour, gender has nothing to do with it.

    If I was walking past someone, then depending on the situation id acknowledge, maybe smile or say hello.

    If a person was in trouble or asked for assistance then I would stop and help.

    Again weight, class, gender, nationality has nothing to do with it and never will, unless I was in danger.

    If everyone in the world had a little bit more respect for their fellow man/ woman then it would be a much nicer place. I do understand how it can knock some peoples confidence and self esteem but for the indoviduals who mock or are rude to someone becayse they are overweight, then they just show their own ignorance. Dont worry about it they arent worth knowing.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    This community is great, people of all different backgrounds, and shapes and sizes, with wonderful support! There's flirtation that floats around here, and I just can't help but think in "reality" would ever exist? How many of you would walk right past me because of my weight? Who can honestly say I wouldn't be looked over?

    Note: Just something I have thought about, not judging or any other negative feelings, just want to know.

    If your IRL persona is like your MFP persona (generic avatar, closed/private profile, no identifying info, including age or sex), yeah, I would walk right past you, because you would be wearing a big cardboard box that puts of the "I don't want you to know me" vibe.

    And considering the average non-fitness related exchange with the most vocal members of MFP, OP's self protective approach is probably the best way to go.

    How dare you! I am a goddamn peach. :angry:
  • gallifreyfallsnomore1
    gallifreyfallsnomore1 Posts: 149 Member
    I'm pretty introverted, so I would probably walk right by you and everyone else.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    This community is great, people of all different backgrounds, and shapes and sizes, with wonderful support! There's flirtation that floats around here, and I just can't help but think in "reality" would ever exist? How many of you would walk right past me because of my weight? Who can honestly say I wouldn't be looked over?

    Note: Just something I have thought about, not judging or any other negative feelings, just want to know.

    If your IRL persona is like your MFP persona (generic avatar, closed/private profile, no identifying info, including age or sex), yeah, I would walk right past you, because you would be wearing a big cardboard box that puts of the "I don't want you to know me" vibe.

    And considering the average non-fitness related exchange with the most vocal members of MFP, OP's self protective approach is probably the best way to go.

    How dare you! I am a goddamn peach. :angry:

    Mmm delicious... although I prefer pineapple. :drinker: :smokin:
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I wouldn't worry about it. Live your real life. And have fun online. The internet serves a different purpose from our real life. I think it's best not to take it too seriously. Although, some people are super serious and get mad when that is not reciprocated.

    Also, I don't use my real name or identifying information in the forums. At any point I could remove my photos and info. Just because I share some photos doesn't mean people can find me here. We set it all as viewable to mfp only. But, I do think people should have some caution online, especially younger people. But, we also don't need to be paranoid.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    This community is great, people of all different backgrounds, and shapes and sizes, with wonderful support! There's flirtation that floats around here, and I just can't help but think in "reality" would ever exist? How many of you would walk right past me because of my weight? Who can honestly say I wouldn't be looked over?

    Note: Just something I have thought about, not judging or any other negative feelings, just want to know.

    If your IRL persona is like your MFP persona (generic avatar, closed/private profile, no identifying info, including age or sex), yeah, I would walk right past you, because you would be wearing a big cardboard box that puts of the "I don't want you to know me" vibe.

    And considering the average non-fitness related exchange with the most vocal members of MFP, OP's self protective approach is probably the best way to go.

    that's the spirit
  • LosingWeight4Good
    LosingWeight4Good Posts: 156 Member
    If it is any consolation, I have spoken with stunningly beautiful and handsome people who say people never really acknowledge or talk to them either. They say people stare or ask to be photographed with them, but don't treat them like people.

    I feel like we are a bell curve type of animal. What I mean is that the people on either end of the spectrum frequently are ostracized. Too fat, too skinny, too dumb, too smart, too young, too old....the list goes on... We make instantaneous decisions on each person we see and respond accordingly.

    I accept that we are all TOO something. For me, I would acknowledge you.
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    Meh. I don't know who you are here and I don't know who you are in real life so, no, I wouldn't acknowledge you.

    I don't acknowledge anyone really though, unless I already know them or they start up a conversation with me or acknowledge me in some way. Most of the time I'm in a hurry to go wherever it is I'm going and I ignore everyone, especially on campus.
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
    I'm getting the whole me in a pic here soon, need to anyone for comparison photos, it's humiliating and hurtful though, but must be done.
    Do you love yourself? Because this doesn't sound like a comment from someone, who loves her/himself.

    You know, you can take those photos and you can blur out your face on Picmonkey with layer tools or such, if you don't want people to recognise you. That's still just a solution for anonymity.

    I think everyone is fantastic until they show me otherwise. I would acknowledge you as a fellow human being, be it in the grocery store when we happen to bump our carts into each other (I'd apologise with a little smile and normally get the same reaction in return) or when we stand in line waiting for the bus that never comes in a temp so cold that noses will begin to fall off soon or when whatever.

    But it doesn't matter what I think. You need to think highly of yourself, because if you don't do that, who else will?
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    Meaning you're giving off the same "don't want you to know me" vibe, and therefore he would pass you by.

    Thanks Arabian. But I think the one who was concerned about being passed by was the OP. Not me.

    I was explaining what I believed the response you got meant, which your post implied you didn't understand.
  • DarkMoon30
    DarkMoon30 Posts: 63 Member
    If you spoke directly to me I would not look you over. Sometimes you just have to insist on being noticed. It helps to be really hyper and loud. Ok, I'm sort of joking...but really, don't sit back and let life pass you by!!

    Some of the best people I've met are the complete opposite of 'hyper and loud'... this is not an achievement or a badge of honor that lets people know that you're worth knowing. Being who you are and being quietly confident that that IS enough means you are worth knowing.... quiet or loud. I know plenty of people who talk ALL of the time and never say a thing and yet there are people I know who speak only when they feel they have to and say more than some people say in a month. Don't wait for people to demand your attention...maybe you should start paying attention to the undemanding people around you
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Did someone say something? Oh, nothing? Okay.












    Seriously, OP, who knows? I don't know you and you don't know me, but to assume a large group of people would simply ignore you because you're overweight, on a fitness site, just seems a bit too much self loathing for me. Not to mention it assumes a whole heck of a lot about all of us bots out here. Buck up and go do something good for yourself and stop wallowing in self pity. It's not healthy.

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