I can't do it...I dont have it in me

No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.

What you're going to do, is make a commitment to yourself and those important to you to get healthy.

You're going to calculate your BMR and your TDEE, and create a weight loss plan that has you eating at least to your BMR if not slightly higher.

You're going to weigh/measure your food as accurately as you can (for most, this means a scale) and record it every single day, and work hard to stay within your calories/macros, while allowing yourself to eat foods you love. This literally means anything, including the odd soda.

Weight loss really, barring a significant medical condition, is about calories in and calories out. If you've put on weight, it's because you've been eating/drinking more calories that your body needs. It's time to be conscious of that.

Want to eat more? Then you'll have to exercise.


You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.

OP. Please read and re-read the above.

Then put it to work.

Too massive a calorie restriction will lead to a lack of self-control and binging.

A moderate calorie deficit, varied diet (yes, you can have soda, or whatever, if it fits your calorie budget) and plenty of protein will keep you satiated whilst you consistently lose weight and avoid counter productive snack-attacks.

Lots of good responses. I drink diet soda and I snack often, it's about eating healthy snacks. Nutritious foods will keep you fuller longer. Your body needs fuel to exercise. You don't have to be so restrictive, it's not as sustainable to be that way. I know it's hard girl but you need to believe in yourself and realize that it is most definitely possible to do this. choosemyplate.gov is an excellent resource if you'd like to learn more about nutrition.

It's possible that you tried too aggressive a plan too quickly--the harsher the plan, the bigger the temptation (and possible disappointment). Sometimes slowly tapering your calorie intake is an easier way (and more practical).

1) Change your MFP goal settings to "maintain weight."

2) Try logging all of your calories for a little while. Don't focus on meeting any particular goal; just eat how you normally would and be COMPLETELY HONEST. This will give you an idea of your baseline consumption AND help you practice logging calories. Once again, DO NOT focus on meeting any particular goal.

3) Once you've gotten a few days in, look at your current calorie intake. How many calories in excess are you having?

4) Figure out a small goal to stick to for a week or few. For example, if you exceed your maintenance goal by 400 calories, you could trying cutting the excess to 200. Also important is thinking of an easy way to meet that goal; for example, cutting out 200 calories would be equal to a single soda or a small bag of chips--more manageable than cutting them out entirely.

5) If you're able to maintain this for a few weeks, great! Pat yourself on the back and set yourself another small goal--or maybe a bigger one if you have the confidence now.

If you can't maintain this--don't give up! Keep logging calories and set a different, easier goal and try to achieve that instead. The important thing is that you gain the confidence to control your habits and then use that confidence to achieve progressively greater things.

Some members of this board will probably scoff at this, because I'm not just telling you to lose weight right away or "suck it up." But to me, the biggest obstacles are discipline and confidence, and *anything* that helps you build those two (even something like keeping yourself to a 400-calorie excess instead of letting it balloon to something higher) will help you in the long run--the discipline and confidence will give you the ability and mental strength to set progressively bigger goals and deal with any setbacks.

(For my own part, I spent a week just eating maintenance when I started. Then I moved to 1800 calories, 1700, 1500, etc... and am a fair ways lower than that now. But I didn't rush it--I kept myself comfortable, consistent, and accountable)

That was a great response. Thank you for that. I needed to hear that too.

Yup, been there, done that, got the T-shirt. We all have. "I'll never find someone to love." "I'll always be fat." "I'll never finish my degree." "I'll never live in a clean house."

If we give in to all those things we become lonely, super-obese hoarders who, like the woman in my hometown last year, died as the inside of her house collapsed around her. She wasn't found for weeks.

Some of us seem to need to work harder than others to avoid caving in totally to our worse natures. But we still have choices. Some things you may give up on either temporarily or permanently to work on others. I'll never finish my PhD but it ceased to matter. I did keep hunting for Kismet and Bill and I found each other at age 54. I'm working on shedding stuff and took two boxes to the Goodwill this week. And I log into MFP and try to improve my health -- with more or less success. It beats the alternatives for sure.

You need to make your choices, too. You can get healthy and lose weight. You may need to do more research to make a plan that works for you. The choice is yours. And anyone who says sticking to those choices is easy needs a dope slap.

We empathize. At least, most of us do.

This is channeled from Yoda all wise being of beings ever created on screen and through thought:

To yourself be kind. To yourself like best friend speak, what would you say to your best friend if, struggling with similar things, were they, hmm?
To beat yourself up refuse. With you be gentle. If to put yourself down you hear that negativity creeping in wanting, my best friend say, think what would, hmm? And say that instead.

In regular speak: Be kind and gentle with yourself, you'll make it, speak to yourself like you would a best friend and don't beat yourself up

Bringing the silly

Of course you're failing. When you tell yourself you "can't" have this or that, you are setting yourself up for epic failure. Learn moderation, it's the only sustainable approach to healthy and permanent weight loss.

You, have to want this and it comes from within you. You can drink sparkling water or replace with diet soda. Snacks should be used in moderation and IF you have room in your calories. This are all choices only you can make and you're not going to get there by starting off with "I can't".

No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.

What you're going to do, is make a commitment to yourself and those important to you to get healthy.

You're going to calculate your BMR and your TDEE, and create a weight loss plan that has you eating at least to your BMR if not slightly higher.

You're going to weigh/measure your food as accurately as you can (for most, this means a scale) and record it every single day, and work hard to stay within your calories/macros, while allowing yourself to eat foods you love. This literally means anything, including the odd soda.

Weight loss really, barring a significant medical condition, is about calories in and calories out. If you've put on weight, it's because you've been eating/drinking more calories that your body needs. It's time to be conscious of that.

Want to eat more? Then you'll have to exercise.


You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.

^This. You don't have to give up your favorite foods to lose weight. You just can't eat all of them all the time. What helped me with that was this idea:

They are making more food every day. I have a car, money, and a grocery store nearby. I don't need to eat half this cheesecake now, because I can get another one on a different day. Cheesecake will always be available, so 1 slice is enough.


Then, add whatever you're eating to your calories for the day and move on. If you make the effort to eat as many *healthy* foods as possible (veggies, fruit, lean protein, etc), you'll have calories left for snacks.

But it's your choice. No one can make you do it, just like no one made you gain weight. You have to decide you are willing to work hard and then put in the effort.

I don't believe in "can't". Accept that this is going to take effort and time and you will succeed.

No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.

What you're going to do, is make a commitment to yourself and those important to you to get healthy.

You're going to calculate your BMR and your TDEE, and create a weight loss plan that has you eating at least to your BMR if not slightly higher.

You're going to weigh/measure your food as accurately as you can (for most, this means a scale) and record it every single day, and work hard to stay within your calories/macros, while allowing yourself to eat foods you love. This literally means anything, including the odd soda.

Weight loss really, barring a significant medical condition, is about calories in and calories out. If you've put on weight, it's because you've been eating/drinking more calories that your body needs. It's time to be conscious of that.

Want to eat more? Then you'll have to exercise.


You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.

I love you!!! I needed to hear this too.

I've been shoddy at eating/drinking and logging for a while now but kind of back on it the past 2 weeks. Not weighed myself though yet and I slipped up by having heavy drinking sessions both Saturdays!! Damn Alcohol! I love it so much lol

Takes the piddle when some people can eat anything and still be thin!! :explode: