Would you even acknowledge me?

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Replies

  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    I ignore everyone unless I have a reason to speak to them. Not everything has to be about you and your weight.
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  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
    If it is any consolation, I have spoken with stunningly beautiful and handsome people who say people never really acknowledge or talk to them either. They say people stare or ask to be photographed with them, but don't treat them like people.

    I feel like we are a bell curve type of animal. What I mean is that the people on either end of the spectrum frequently are ostracized. Too fat, too skinny, too dumb, too smart, too young, too old....the list goes on... We make instantaneous decisions on each person we see and respond accordingly.

    I accept that we are all TOO something. For me, I would acknowledge you.

    I totally agree with the first bit of this. I've known some women who are incredibly attractive with matching personalities who never get approached when they go out in bars/clubs. People get labelled or pigeon holed for whatever reason. Society will always make some judgements based purely upon physical appearance it's the way of the world.


    **I think a lot depends on where you are too. I live in a small area so strangers tend to nod or tend to make some generic weather comment or whatever if you're out walking around. If you live in a city it's head down & don't talk to the "crazies".
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    I wouldn't worry about it. Live your real life. And have fun online. The internet serves a different purpose from our real life. I think it's best not to take it too seriously. Although, some people are super serious and get mad when that is not reciprocated.

    Also, I don't use my real name or identifying information in the forums. At any point I could remove my photos and info. Just because I share some photos doesn't mean people can find me here. We set it all as viewable to mfp only. But, I do think people should have some caution online, especially younger people. But, we also don't need to be paranoid.

    A little paranoia never hurt anyone.

    OP, if I were to see you in real life and we made eye contact, I'm pretty sure I would acknowledge you. I tend to be a kind person in real life, probably more than I am online. If you are walking with your head down and looking like you don't want to be approached, I won't interrupt you. But if you look at me, I will smile at you, and you'd maybe even get a polite hello or hi.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    This is a strange topic/question.

    This is true.

    I'm an extrovert. No one is safe. :drinker:
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    If you spoke directly to me I would not look you over. Sometimes you just have to insist on being noticed. It helps to be really hyper and loud. Ok, I'm sort of joking...but really, don't sit back and let life pass you by!!

    Some of the best people I've met are the complete opposite of 'hyper and loud'... this is not an achievement or a badge of honor that lets people know that you're worth knowing. Being who you are and being quietly confident that that IS enough means you are worth knowing.... quiet or loud. I know plenty of people who talk ALL of the time and never say a thing and yet there are people I know who speak only when they feel they have to and say more than some people say in a month. Don't wait for people to demand your attention...maybe you should start paying attention to the undemanding people around you

    eh I was coming more from the perspective of what the OP sounded like to me...someone really wanting to be noticed and paid some attention who wasn't having any success with that. I was half joking about being hyper and loud being helpful. I am that way but I certainly don't think it's the right way or best way to behave. It's simply useful for getting noticed. I just have to tone it down because I don't need to be the center of attention at all times. My husband's one of the more silent types (except around me) and he's definitely worth knowing.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I wouldn't worry about it. Live your real life. And have fun online. The internet serves a different purpose from our real life. I think it's best not to take it too seriously. Although, some people are super serious and get mad when that is not reciprocated.

    Also, I don't use my real name or identifying information in the forums. At any point I could remove my photos and info. Just because I share some photos doesn't mean people can find me here. We set it all as viewable to mfp only. But, I do think people should have some caution online, especially younger people. But, we also don't need to be paranoid.

    A little paranoia never hurt anyone.

    OP, if I were to see you in real life and we made eye contact, I'm pretty sure I would acknowledge you. I tend to be a kind person in real life, probably more than I am online. If you are walking with your head down and looking like you don't want to be approached, I won't interrupt you. But if you look at me, I will smile at you, and you'd maybe even get a polite hello or hi.

    I'm like this too. I smile and say hi whenever appropriate. :heart: :flowerforyou:
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  • SrMaggalicious
    SrMaggalicious Posts: 495 Member
    OP, it really depends on the personality...I'm actually more of an extrovert OFFLINE. it's all about the individual personalities...neither are wrong. They just are. :o)

    Edited for verbal diarrhea...unnecessary.
  • RllyGudTweetr
    RllyGudTweetr Posts: 2,019 Member
    There's potentially no right answer here. If we acknowledge you, we stand the chance (potentially a good one, depending on you) of being accused of doing so out of pity, or condescension, or only being interested in whatever particular body type you have at that moment. If we do not acknowledge you, we stand the chance of being accused of insensitivity or finding your current body type personally distasteful. Choose wisely.
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    Flirting online is not something one should take too seriously because until you meet that person you don't know who you are really flirting with.

    Would you be ignored in real life because of your size, possibly, but a lot would depend on your personality. If you are confident and outgoing that can be very attractive no matter what size someone is.
  • MariahRea
    MariahRea Posts: 24 Member
    I look at and talk to everyone. I guess i am a flirt that way, or i'm just used to it because people are always coming up to me asking about my tattooes so it's a natural thing now to talk with everyone. plus i kind of like shocking people and showing them that the amazon tattoo lady is nice and not a monster like you all thought. this was a real problem 16 years ago when women didn't really get full body tattooes, now it's not so bad and people don't stare as much or hide their children behind them with a look of horror on their faces, now they just keep them close. lol. funny how people judge, but i am happy with me so i don't really care what others think. it took a long time for me to come to this place and age helps. i am 42. i feel that working out and eating right helps me to be positive and motivated also and that positivity and motivation spills over into other parts of my life. plus it helps me feel good. i battle epilepsy daily and i can certainly tell when i don't eat right or am dehydrated. but i don't let the small stuff stop me from my goals. i began training for a bikini competition march 2013, i was 12 weeks out from that competition when my daughter and i joined a roller derby team. she fell and broke her leg and i fell and broke my tailbone. i had to move in with her and help take care of her and the grand kids. i put on over 30lbs, but now that i am healed, i am right back at it. i just began training again and i am hoping to make it to a competition by may 2015 when i am 43. i will be in the best shape of my life for my birthday, the best gift a girl can give herself!
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    Flirting online is not something one should take too seriously because until you meet that person you don't know who you are really flirting with.

    Would you be ignored in real life because of your size, possibly, but a lot would depend on your personality. If you are confident and outgoing that can be very attractive no matter what size someone is.

    I've never been one to take online flirting very seriously. My husband gets flirted with here quite a bit, as do I. We often share stories. Sometimes it's quite flattering. Other times, it crosses a line. Online, you come across all types. Some people could become lifelong friends, but others can be disappointing or even toxic, and the more you interact, the easier it is to tell the difference. But that's part of interacting online.

    OP, for the same reason that I would probably smile at you in real life, I'd advise you to also enjoy your interactions online. You never know what sort of friends you might make. I've made real friends on MFP who I have had the honor of meeting in the real world, and I'm a better person for it.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    What does this even mean?
    Sometimes I just can't with you, MFP. I just can't.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    I don't know I come back to this thread. Maybe in the hope the OP would come back and elaborate a little bit about him/herself.

    This reminds me of the proverbial woman bemoaning that all her friends are dating, engaged or married and wonders why Mr Right has come knocking on her door. Nevermind the fact that she doesn't go out with friends, encourage friendships, participate in activities, i.e. get out there.

    OP, how can I participate with harmless, fun flirtation with you if you are closed off? How can I acknowledge you if you stay to yourself?
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    If I met you in rl life I may or may not notice you, if I found you to be attractive then yes I will notice you or if you have nice tattoos or something. For the most part I would not notice you unless you said something or we interacted in some way.
  • let1179
    let1179 Posts: 58 Member
    Lol, my goodness, so many opinions.. to elaborate...it was just a simple question I don't believe that I had any underlying motive here.

    Yeah in "real" life I exude confidence, I'm happy, positive, funny, not overly loud, I enjoy life. I'm pretty sure I do the same on here as well. Why be two different people?

    When out and about, I do my best to acknowledge others, smile instead of walking past, ask how people are etc...

    Sure I have some work to do on the body confidence but that will come in time.

    What else can I say? Ask anything and you shall receive...an answer :)
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
    ...

    Yeah in "real" life I exude confidence, I'm happy, positive, funny, not overly loud, I enjoy life. I'm pretty sure I do the same on here as well. Why be two different people?

    When out and about, I do my best to acknowledge others, smile instead of walking past, ask how people are etc...

    ...

    I do this too.

    Maybe we'll smile and nod as we walk past each other one day. And if you have fabulous shoes or something about you is compelling enough to comment on, I might stop you and share the compliment.
  • islander_2013
    islander_2013 Posts: 13,378 Member
    yes
  • JonnyQwest
    JonnyQwest Posts: 174 Member
    Honestly, the first thing I notice is a girls smile and eyes.....some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen were/are overweight. My wife was overweight when we first met but her smile and positive attitude attracted me to her, it was love at first sight and that was 22 years ago. I think it has a lot more to do with attitude than anything......some of the ugliest women I know are actually what society would hold up as being beautiful....I find them repulsive because their attitudes are horrible.
  • Go_Mizzou99
    Go_Mizzou99 Posts: 2,628 Member
    I wouldn't notice you or anyone else, as an engineer, I am required to look at the ground 18-inches in front of my feet while walking to prevent crack-trip-ups and such other embarrassing things :wink:
  • WhatAnAss
    WhatAnAss Posts: 1,598 Member
    Attraction come in all shapes and sizes, nationalities, genders, personality style not just one thing makes someone attractive.
  • Forty6and2
    Forty6and2 Posts: 2,492 Member
    I walk past people every day without acknowledging a single one unless I absolutely have to.

    So yeah, I'd probably walk right past you without a second glance.

    basically , I barely notice other people

    unless they are right in my field of vision and 100% a drop dead babe then i might notice them for a min

    I'm the exact opposite. I smile and say "hello" to almost everybody I walk by. The only exception is if I'm in a large crowd of people because that would make my face hurt.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    I don't like people.

    I would walk right past you because I don't know you. So unless you have something interesting to bring to the table, I would walk right past you. That has nothing to do with weight/attractiveness/anything else.

    Gotta get your self some confidence though, if you want to be noticed.

    This.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member

    If your IRL persona is like your MFP persona (generic avatar, closed/private profile, no identifying info, including age or sex), yeah, I would walk right past you, because you would be wearing a big cardboard box that puts off the "I don't want you to know me" vibe.

    This. You won't be more confident if you hide who you are.

    edited to fix quotes.
  • TheNewPriceIsLoading
    TheNewPriceIsLoading Posts: 2,135 Member

    If your IRL persona is like your MFP persona (generic avatar, closed/private profile, no identifying info, including age or sex), yeah, I would walk right past you, because you would be wearing a big cardboard box that puts off the "I don't want you to know me" vibe.

    This. You won't be more confident if you hide who you are.

    edited to fix quotes.

    I agree...
  • mamasitaroja
    mamasitaroja Posts: 52 Member
    If you posted things that were intelligent, insightful, or asking for feedback that would make a difference to you in some way, I would talk to you. In real life? Maybe. Depends on whether you seemed friendly/receptive. (And no, I'm not saying you DON'T, even in this thread.......) When you already have an idea of what is in someone's head, or proof that they are willing to share that with you, it's easier to respond positively. In real life, we don't just walk up and start opening up randomly, based on looks or not. That's too much social with a side of boundary issues.

    Do I care what people look like IRL that I meet on MFP? Nope. Neither do I care when I come face-to-face with them. The inside is the good stuff.....the outside is just the wrapping. Can you tell when someone doesn't bother to treat themselves well, based on how they look? Sure. But that doesn't rule them in or out.....just gives you an idea what you MIGHT be seeing. It takes getting to know them to know for sure.

    As for before & afters, they are usually posted to celebrate progress, or motivate yourself/others. No one HAS to post them.......but I will thank you in advance if you do and share, because I find the visual proof of success for ANYONE helpful.

    There! You've been acknowledged! And I agree.......slow progress is better than no progress! :drinker:
  • athleteguy777
    athleteguy777 Posts: 217
    caring to much about what others think about you will get you hurt.
  • Anahita_Swims
    Anahita_Swims Posts: 4,127 Member
    I think.... its about confidence I don't get hit on in person but i think its because i seem cut of and unapproachable I'm typical middle class british so I'm stuffy anyway and i have autism so can't read people and get uncomfortable at making eye contact as soon as some one looks at me i look away :o
  • Miss_1999
    Miss_1999 Posts: 747 Member
    I'm the type of person, that it depends upon what kind of mood I'm in. I would absolutely, NEVER intentionally just "walk on past" someone, based upon weight, looks, ect. The only way I'm *really* going to walk on by someone, and I will do so in a hurry is is they have horrible body odor. I am being serious. I have an extremely sensitive nose, and I can't handle it. Otherwise, there are days, I have a million things on my mind, and despite being out and about in a crowd, I'm not *really* there. I don't *see* anyone. I see all of the things that are going on in my head.

    The majority of the time, I fight with everything in me not to have that kind of a day. I do my best to smile at people and be friendly. I'm an extremely social creature by nature, and I like to be around people. I like making friends, and I like making people feel good, so I'm not likely to just ignore someone if I saw them out and about.

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