Am so discouraged and disappointed in myself...
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I've been there also a few years back. Don't let it get into you! I'm sure that in some time you'll start losing weight again and can keep it that way! Try to calculate your calories intake carefully and according your daily routines with that. Also don't be so hard on yourself because if you start losing hope it's really not a good thing. Be happy with your weight loss but don't hit your head when you get some weight back. Just try to keep calm and I'm sure you'll make it!0
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I skimmed so sorry if this has already been said...
1) Think about why this hasn't worked for you in the past and find another way. A friend of mine asked me "how come you gained the weight back" after a semi-successful year on Atkins and at first I blew it off but couldn't get it out of my head so I gave it some thought. Figured out that for me (and I think many others) the problem is deprivation. Every DIET out there includes giving something up - carbs, treats, fats, etc. - and those usually don't work long term. So inead of giving up on certain foods, I cut back and/or found healthier alternatives.
2) Be patient with yourself. This is not The Biggest Loser ranch, this is the real world. Give this process time. Pick one small goal to work towards every week and concentrate on it until you get it down pat then work towards the next. Go back to basics if you have to. I had a major backslide this year and did just that. Three weeks ago I jumped back on the wagon but didn't try to do everything at once. I just tracked the first week then I tried staying more in my goals the next week, then I cut down on take-out the week after, then I planned more meals and snacks, etc etc. My clothes are fitting much better!
3) I find it helps to fill in those spots on your profile about why you want to get in shape and what your inspirations are. And try to find deeper reasons than to look better for a certain event or certain people. Not to say they're not valid reasons but in my experience, that kind of thing just doesn't last as long because what happens once that event is over? Do it for you, for your health, mobility, etc.
Good luck!0 -
1. Take it one day at a time. Weigh, measure and LOG everything you eat. FAITHFULLY. the more you do it, the easier it gets.
2. Set easaily attainable goals. Don't look at the total amount you want to lose, look at each pound individually if you need to. It's much easier to lose 1 pound quickly than it is to lose 100. Trust me on this one!
3. DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT cut out any foods. If you do, you will crave them even more. Try to find the healthiest versions of those foods and only eat an actual portion of it, or even 1/2 a portion. Eat them sllllloooooooowwwwwllllllyyyyyyy....... savor them. Enjoy them, but in very small amounts.
4. Stop beating yourself up, and start picking yourself up. Do some positive affirmations EVERY morning when you get up... Like, "Hey, my hair looks good today!" or "This color of lipstick is a good color for me" Even something small can make you feel good, and that will snoball into good choices during the day. Then at the end of everyday, FOCUS, and I mean FOCUS HARD on the things you did RIGHT. Aknowledge what you can improve on, but don't look at them as things you did "wrong". Afterall, you are re-training yourself. It takes a little time to learn.
5. REWARD yourself for your successes. Not with food though. Give yourself a manicure or a pedicure with a new nail polish in a color you wouldn't normally wear, put a flower in your hair, or treat yourself to a new peice of clothing that makes you feel good about your progress. It doesn't have to be big, but you NEED to do it. It sends a signal to your brain that says "HEY YOU! It's OKAY to feel good about yourself! You earned it!"
6. Find someone who is on a similar path and motivate each other to keep going. Even if it's long distance. It's better if they live close to you so you can exercise together if possible. Having people you are accountable to in your journey makes it tougher to cheat if you know they will call you out on it. But make sure it's someone who will also be a cheeleader for you when you have a success. You need people in your corner.
If you need a cheerleader, friend or motivator, add me. I'm happy to help in any way I can.0 -
Have you considered finding a good therapist? Therapy can help when we are stuck repeating the same unhealthy behaviors over and over again. I found it very helpful in changing my thoughts and behavior patterns early in my process, and consider it a powerful tool to help attain goals and make meaningful change.0
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I feel trapped inside my body, like my mind is working against me and my body is suffering. I am so desperate to feel good again. My ultimate goal weight is 140 pounds (I am 5'10) so I have way more than 100 pounds to lose. I have at least 105 pounds to lose to reach the highest end of a healthy BMI for me and 65 pounds to lose to get to a weight at which I start to feel comfortable in my skin and can shop at regular stores. It seems like so much. I don't think I can do it alone.
Why is your goal weight 140 lbs? At 5'10", I would think that you should be more along the lines of 150 lbs or higher. Try starting with realistic short term goals and not look at the long term. Try being healthier, and not think of just being thinner. Switch out little unhealthy things in your diet (like grilling vs. frying, more veggies, etc.) and slowly build upon that with activity (like the couch to 5K program). The weight didn't go on overnight, and neither should it come off overnight. A lifestyle change and perseverance is the only way it will stay off in the long run.0 -
2) Be patient with yourself. This is not The Biggest Loser ranch, this is the real world.
This is so true! I've always been a fan of Biggest Loser and other similar weight loss shows. They give us such warped ideas that we can lose big numbers every week and losing a pound a week is pathetic in comparison! These people are working out ALL day so it is not realisitc for us to lose weight so quickly!0 -
I am in the same boat as you.
I too just started a new mfp account and starting over.
Perhaps we can do this together??
Angie0 -
Stop focusing on how much you need to lose overall and just start focusing on what you can achieve today. And then you do the same thing tomorrow. And before you know it, a year of doing your best from day to day has you weighing in 80 pounds lighter. That's what works for me anyway. I just do the very best I can TODAY. Tomorrow I'll try to do my very best again. And if have a day where I wasn't at my best and could have been better...no worries...because I get a brand new chance to be my best tomorrow.
Listen to her!!0 -
Hi there,
i am so so hard on myself and feel a shame in how I look a lot of the time. One thing I decided to do is have a rule with myself that if I go to the gym/do a workout that day I'm not allowed call myself names or think negatively of myself if I catch myself in the mirror. You would be surprised how much one thing encourages the other. Another thing to remember is that REGARDLESS, if you keep eating healthy and working out you WILL lose weight. I have no patience and I get bored after I dont see results.But it WILL happen.
Best of luck xx0 -
I feel trapped inside my body, like my mind is working against me and my body is suffering. I am so desperate to feel good again. My ultimate goal weight is 140 pounds (I am 5'10) so I have way more than 100 pounds to lose. I have at least 105 pounds to lose to reach the highest end of a healthy BMI for me and 65 pounds to lose to get to a weight at which I start to feel comfortable in my skin and can shop at regular stores. It seems like so much. I don't think I can do it alone.
Why is your goal weight 140 lbs? At 5'10", I would think that you should be more along the lines of 150 lbs or higher. Try starting with realistic short term goals and not look at the long term. Try being healthier, and not think of just being thinner. Switch out little unhealthy things in your diet (like grilling vs. frying, more veggies, etc.) and slowly build upon that with activity (like the couch to 5K program). The weight didn't go on overnight, and neither should it come off overnight. A lifestyle change and perseverance is the only way it will stay off in the long run.
I agree with this. We can't see your diary, so we can't see whether you're approach is perhaps too aggressive. If you are hovering around a daily calorie intake of 1200 calories, you may not be getting enough food to properly fuel your body and, after awhile, your body will want/need more food, which leads to binging.
Try setting your goals to lose 1/2 lb a week or 1 lb a week. Don't restrict your diet too much, eat what you normally would and make a few healthy substitutions. That way, your change of lifestyle won't seem so drastic.
I'm also 5'10" and would not be able to get to 140 lbs without becoming ill and look extremely underweight. I suggest perhaps moderating your goal to about the 150-160 range. The right weight varies for everyone. You'll know when you reach the weight that's right for you by talking with your doctor and observing your body in the mirror. "Flabby" does not necessarily mean "lose more weight", it can mean "do some toning exercises".
Take this slowly so that its more sustainable. Don't rush. You can do this.0 -
Hi
All you have to do is lose 1 pound. 105 times. Thats it.
Not all at once.
That kick to get it done comes from inside....
The fact you are reaching out and being honest about your struggle is a sign of growth and progress. Take comfort in that.
The difference between MFP and everything else? If you adopt the mindset that its a lifestyle change & not a diet, the rest will fall into place.
The past is done. The future will be here soon enough. Try and focus on today & today only. Its all we have to work with.
4 months ago, I weighed 312 pounds. I woulda been dead in 5 years if I hadn't made this commitment. All signs were pointing that way.
Just a few things the MFP tribe and common sense has taught me:
1) This is a thing you DO, not a definition of who you ARE. Just like laundry. Take the emotion out of it wherever possible. I cannot stress this enough.
2) My approach? This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. So there is no finite number of days that I am trying to get to. I will be logging in and logging food for the rest of my life, because:
a) This program works
b) I don't want to die young and I was headed that direction
3) Try to remember - We are the results of the choices we make every day, whether those choices are good or bad. Make as many good choices as you can, and the ship will stay steady. At the end of the day, we are the man in the mirror. We are accountable to ourselves and no one else. We can help you with getting there, but the doing is up to you. Leave rationalizing at the door, and continue to be honest with yourself. Its the only path to long term success
Cal tracking is considered a good choice (whether boring or not) because it tells you where you really are (just like your check register tells you your balance) - remember to be honest with yourself all the time. Ultimately, you will achieve that which you are seeking much sooner.
Knowing that plus the support I get from my MFP buds make enough difference that Ive lost 38 in 118 days without doing anything stupid. You just find what works and then hammer the crap out of it, staying in the present while doing so.
If you will stay committed to this, your MFP tribe will commit to helping. Why? Because that's what we do. And we have ALL been there.
4 months ago, walking was a chore.
Last weekend, I walked 6 miles. And loved it
You got this.. and we got you.
FR headed your way
Fsunami
This!
Just a little at a time and you will get there. It is making those small changes. I also find that in helping to motivate others, I motivate myself. Try to surround yourself with positive, motivating people. Even if it is just a "like" on a status, you know someone is rooting for you.
You've got this!0 -
One day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. You're the only one that can do this. You have to realize you CAN do this! One pound at a time.0
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Have you considered finding a good therapist? Therapy can help when we are stuck repeating the same unhealthy behaviors over and over again. I found it very helpful in changing my thoughts and behavior patterns early in my process, and consider it a powerful tool to help attain goals and make meaningful change.
I really agree with this. I have always done this same thing. Every single time I got to a healthy weight and "looked good" I would start eating again and gain the weight back. I did a lot of introspection on this, asking myself why, and I realized I did not think I was worthy of health, worthy of the compliments from my family and friends, worthy of feeling better about myself. I would become uncomfortable with the compliments and uncomfortable with the extra attention from my husband etc. So I would gain again so it would stop. A lot of self loathing going on from a less than stellar childhood. When I was able to work through some of these self esteem issues, I've found it a lot easier. I still struggle. And I still stress eat. But I don't think when I reach my healthy weight now I will be tempted to gain the weight back to become invisible again. I might gain it back from stress eating, but it won't be cause I don't feel worthy.
You are worthy, you deserve health.0 -
Stop focusing on how much you need to lose overall and just start focusing on what you can achieve today. And then you do the same thing tomorrow. And before you know it, a year of doing your best from day to day has you weighing in 80 pounds lighter. That's what works for me anyway. I just do the very best I can TODAY. Tomorrow I'll try to do my very best again. And if have a day where I wasn't at my best and could have been better...no worries...because I get a brand new chance to be my best tomorrow.
I agree. Break it down so the final number doesn't seem so huge. I know how much I want to loose this year but I know I can loose 15 by Thanksgiving. Every day I'll try to achieve 15 by Thanksgiving. The day after Thanksgiving is when I'll start my new goal, with bullet points that I can check off (I'm a list keeper). Just keep moving forward and soon you'll look back and realize just how far you've come. Good luck!!0 -
why do you think you sabotage yourself after 10 pounds. You have gotten great advice here. Was your diet too restrictive, you have to have some good stuff and count your calories. Is it emotional? do you turn to food rather than problem solve? Do you think you just cant find a different way to live and eat? Well you can. But you have to be willing to be disciplined and do the work. MFP is a great supporter and we are all here to help you. definitely a lifestyle change, not just lose it and it is done, this last forever and is doable.0
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I felt exactly the same way about three months ago. This is what I do now and I am so much happier:
1. Love yourself right where you are. You are amazing and incredible and capable of anything.
2. Keep a journal. Write everything down, not just your food, but every emotion that you experience as you go through your normal routine.
3. Make realistic goals. Daily, Weekly, Monthly, Yearly and Long term, also next to your goals write down in what way you will reward yourself for sticking to and accomplishing your goals. Make sure your rewards are not food related (this has really inspired me to stick to it)
4. Crunch some numbers and figure out your max heart rate. You want to have your heart rate at about 80% of the max for 30 minutes about 3 times a week. (Start with three times a week at 50% and work up to 80% if you need to)
5. Invite folks to be your buddies on here! We all have a news feed and can inspire and encourage one another!
6. Remember #1.
7. Make a meal plan at the beginning of the week, and remember you can have chocolate icecream and fast food, but you have to work it into your calorie allowance for the day.
8. Eat more whole foods and less processed food.
9. Remember #1.0 -
You can do it. It just takes one day at a time.
I am a big believer of setting yourself acceptable goals- and starting with small changes. Try replacing your current breakfast for a healthier one. Get used to that and then try with lunch, or with snacks etc. Do it step by step.
Set reasonable goals and don't expect to reach them instantly. Concentrate on changing to a healthy, active and enjoyable life with your child.
I would set MFP to 0.5lb per week and just get used to it for a while. If you have enough to eat, it won't be as hard emotionally compared to struggling along on 1200 calories.
Have a think about the types of excersise or activity you could do. start with walking.
You can do it, start today!0 -
I felt exactly the same way about three months ago. This is what I do now and I am so much happier:
1. Love yourself right where you are. You are amazing and incredible and capable of anything.
2. Keep a journal. Write everything down, not just your food, but every emotion that you experience as you go through your normal routine.
3. Make realistic goals. Daily, Weekly, Monthly, Yearly and Long term, also next to your goals write down in what way you will reward yourself for sticking to and accomplishing your goals. Make sure your rewards are not food related (this has really inspired me to stick to it)
4. Crunch some numbers and figure out your max heart rate. You want to have your heart rate at about 80% of the max for 30 minutes about 3 times a week. (Start with three times a week at 50% and work up to 80% if you need to)
5. Invite folks to be your buddies on here! We all have a news feed and can inspire and encourage one another!
6. Remember #1.
7. Make a meal plan at the beginning of the week, and remember you can have chocolate icecream and fast food, but you have to work it into your calorie allowance for the day.
8. Eat more whole foods and less processed food.
9. Remember #1.
Eloquently put. Yes, #1. If you don't have #1, the rest is overwhelming.0 -
Everyone is giving great advice. I'd just add that accepting yourself on the inside will help you make huge changes on the outside. You're a great person! Convince yourself of that. Write down all your great qualities, sell yourself to YOURSELF. Recognize these things are true. Recognize it's OK to know that they are true. Call on a good friend to help you see yourself as they see you, if that helps you. Really listen to what they have to say and don't negate it or argue. Soak it in. Recognize that beating yourself up is the opposite of success and that you are REALLY CAPABLE of doing whatever you want or need to do. This isn't ego. It's self respect.
Once you are able to do these things you'll make the necessary changes you need to make in order to lose what you want to lose because it pleases you to look and feel healthier not because you're not good enough as you are. You ARE good enough. You're going to slip, we all do. Stop when you realize you're doing it rather than beating yourself up and giving in. Don't ever beat yourself up. The world does a pretty great job without our help. Be mindful of what sends you to this thought process of EAT. EAT IT ALL!! and deal with that. If it's too restrictive a diet, then fix it. If it's a damaging or self-defeatist thought then acknowledge it and spend a moment really looking at it. I bet you find it's really not valid. Once you find that out, release it. It can't harm you any longer.
None of this is a hole you can't climb out of, it's a setback that needs to be addressed. See the difference? None of this is set in stone. Not your diet, not your self-image. It's not a failure to slip up and the sooner you begin to believe that, the sooner you can take the first of many steps to your goal. Slips are a chance to tweak those things that are not working and transform them into things that do. Acknowledge this, and believe it's OK.
Then...you get up the next morning, remind yourself it is, after all, another day, and no matter what happens today, tomorrow will be another.
You can do this. You honestly can. Now forgive yourself! Go forth and conquer!0 -
Stop focusing on how much you need to lose overall and just start focusing on what you can achieve today. And then you do the same thing tomorrow. And before you know it, a year of doing your best from day to day has you weighing in 80 pounds lighter. That's what works for me anyway. I just do the very best I can TODAY. Tomorrow I'll try to do my very best again. And if have a day where I wasn't at my best and could have been better...no worries...because I get a brand new chance to be my best tomorrow.
Excellent point and exactly why its working for me this time around. I did NOT set a goal weight because it makes the whole process seem huge and monumental. I'll know when I get there when I am content with my weight. In the mean time all I am concerned about is TODAY. I eat the things I like, just less of them and many times I will split that favorite thing in half and eat it over 2 days. ie: instead of feeling bad for eating a 200 calorie sausage, I'll slice it down the middle, have it on a roll & eat the 2nd half the next day. I am NOT deprived and don't have to deal with the guilt of eating what I enjoy.
So to agree with this poster, do not look at the long range, far away, unattainable goal & feel defeated. Just DEAL WITH TODAY.0
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