I need to stop drinking... anyone been there?

Did you go to counseling for your traumatic event last year? If that's where your drinking stems from, you need to start there.

Hi, and thank you for your post. I know what you mean! I struggle myself. Today as a matter of fact I'm going to TRY to stop drinking Mon-Thurs. It has now become a habit for me. It's just what I do after a hard days work. I myself have had a traumatic so I thank you for being brave and asking for no judgment. It is easier said than done for someone to tell you to "just stop." I'm going to go through this journey with you. So, remember you are not alone! I saw you already lost 1 pound, congrats! Keep on going, you CAN do it!

Been there. I have been struggling with my sobriety for the past 18 months. I am finally at 4+ months sober this time, and my life is 1000x better than it ever has been.

One of the biggest things you can do, and in your case, you have already done is admitting that there is a problem. There are so many of us that refuse to accept it, and continue to live our lives with booze, until we hit true rock bottom, or die...SO CONGRATS!!!

One day at a time...the best advice I have ever received was to make it a goal every day to put a sober head on your pillow every night. Sometimes you have to just focus on not drinking for that hour...and the next hour...until you make through the day.

I get the secret thing, for the longest time, almost a year I was afraid to tell people in "real life" that I had a problem. My friends on MFP were my saving grace, they truly saved my life. But please don't be ashamed of it, it's something you can fix, and that's the good news.

You HAVE to get your husband on board. Now that doesn't mean that HE has to stop, but he has to support your decision to stop.

Get to an AA meeting. They are amazing. You don't have to say anything, just go.

Add me if you want, I am here.


I'm proud of you.

That's tough! I also have a bit of a problem with drinking - I would drink 4 or 5 a night most nights. Usually it would just be, "i'm going to have 1 to wind down" and then by the time I had 1, i'd talk myself into 2 and then my impulse control is out the window. The way I managed to stop is therapy to address my anxiety and depression, taking myself out of the environment that made it hard for me to say no, and doing my damnedest to control my impulses.

It's not easy, but it's doable. If I were you, I'd talk to your husband and let him know that you wanted to cut back on your drinking for your weight and for yourself. Have plans and routines you can use to wind down. When you're stressed out and want to have a drink maybe take a bath instead, or paint your nails... read, go for a walk, anything. I made a list for myself of activities that I find enjoyable, and I go through them. Usually after about 20 minutes the urge has passed. I will also give myself cheat days so I don't feel deprived. I will try to have 1 drink every few weeks and when I drink it, I really pay attention to drinking. How does it taste, feel in my mouth, how do I feel, what does it smell like, etc.. this way I'm not mindlessly gulping down a bottle. The downside is on my cheat days I sometimes screw up and talk myself into that second glass then end up drinking the whole bottle. I try not to beat myself up when this happens, just remind myself that what is done is done and do my best from then on to not repeat my mistakes.

Good luck, feel free to add me if you want someone to talk to who's been down a similar road. It's gonna be tough, but you can do it

I had to stop drinking about 20 years ago because of a health problem. I had a problem with one of my kidneys, and it got to where it hurt when I drank. Pain has a way of making it's point better than anything else. I didn't have too much problem stopping drinking, but 10 years ago I stopped smoking pot. That was much harder, and I struggled with it for about a year before I was able to put it behind me for good. I had smoked for 30 years, from age 13 to 43. Looking back I wish I had stopped much sooner. Now I can't stand the thought of my mind not being my own. Not to mention the money that I spent.

Talking to a professional is always a good move. If that is not possible, talking about your problems on here will help.

Good luck,

Larro

Try Kava. It will give the relaxed feeling of alcohol without the hangover and the weight gain.

AA might be helpful. You can google it and look for the information online for meetings in your state. There are a lot of different kinds of meetings and if you don't like discussion meetings or talking during meetings if/when they come to you, you can say 'pass'.
You can also read online what different kind of meetings are, they have Speaker meetings, big book meetings, discussion meetings, step meetings, open and closed groups, etc.

Also trauma can affect the brain, mental health counseling can help with trauma. They can teach you coping skills to deal with what trauma does to the brain/body/spirit.

Goodluck

I understand this quite a bit. I had a very traumatic event happen about 6 years ago, followed by an amicable but still grief-inducing divorce, and wine became my crutch for awhile. In some ways it still is, haha. Still working on that. I was drinking more wine than I wanted, but as soon as I recognized what was going on, that I could and should take days off, that I was drinking way more than ever before and basically wasting evenings, I just decided to cut way back. I still have wine because it's a genuine pleasure (I love the taste and it keeps me from snacking in the evening), but I have recognized that I don't like that feeling having too much, that it probably did contribute to me gaining weight (that along with some very bad food habits), of going to bed dizzy, of not being able to accomplish more in the evenings because the evenings were a blur. But I understand that going from too much to just a small amount is harder for some people than just going cold turkey. It's really a matter of knowing yourself.

I think most people around here can relate - as eating often turns into an emotionally comforting thing when other things go differently than we'd like. People can overindulge in alcohol, in food, in gambling, you name it, there's probably an addiction for it. Mine was with food. I was talking to my endocrinologist today and we were talking about how easy it is to put on 5 pounds in just a few days, but it can take a month to try to lose.

Anxiety meds may help....depression meds may help too. I wish it were as easy as saying, "just quit it." but it isn't. It never is. I was totally on my game from about April 2011 until the end of March 2013. I had lost 115 pounds, and had surgery to remove the belly for another 26 pounds. Recovery was more difficult than expected for a variety of reasons - most of which were hormonal. Not to mention my dad passed away in December. I fell off the wagon and couldn't find it until about a month or so ago.

Eating was my coping mechanism, and I gained about 70 pounds back. Now I'm at 88 lost after clawing my way back.

You can do this. It's to the point where it's really bugging you and gnawing at you. The next step is figuring out how to start to ease into losing the weight and lightening up on the alcohol. Most dieticians call alcohol "liquid calories" in that it offers no nutritional value whatsoever, but I know it's a case of sometimes you just gotta.

The other thing to realize, and it sounds like you have - that you can exercise until the cows come home and still not work off the damage done by overeating or drinking. That means it's more important what you put in your body than what you do with it. Take steps that are measurable enough (like drinking 8 glasses of water a day, or logging your food (become a food journal nazi!!)), or just eating more protein) that you can start making progress but isn't going to completely blow you out (like giving up alcohol completely).

Find something that's important enough that it makes it worth it to be uncomfortable. I'm trying to lose the enough of the rest of this weight in the next 16 months that I can have the rest of the skin removal surgery.

There's no doubt that you can do this. Especially since it's bugging you. That's where it started for me.

Realistically our culture deems drinking to be a very "social" activity - something that accompanies most things we do - eg Dining out, BBQ's, Summer Weather, Holidays, Watching Sport, Unwinding etc etc. I too drink 4-5 times per week but to counter balance the calories have turned to low sugar mixers and white spirits. I have tried and failed to eliminate alcohol completely and instead of beating myself up about it i have just changed my habits. Instead of half a bottle of wine I may have 1 or 2 Vodka/Soda's (followed by a nice big glass of water) each night which limits my hangovers, my overall consumption and the calories! Wine and Beer are "sometimes" drinks and i always make sure to have 2-3 alcohol free days each week. While this is not as "strong" a response about alcohol as the rest of the reviews for someone who wants to keep alcohol in their life but play a much smaller role - i find this equation works! For someone using drinking as a response to trauma - "limiting" can be hard but as other people suggest - perhaps first address the cause and talk to a professional AS WELL as cutting back on the alcohol. Good Luck!