Not sure when it happened...

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mellygrunwelly
mellygrunwelly Posts: 4 Member
in Motivation and Support
...but I am accepting that I have an addiction to food. I eat for every reason but hunger. I believe it is an addiction because of the LONG list that I've had for a LONG time of very legitimate reasons I need to lose and despite how very important those reasons are to me and despite my ability to lose - I just don't/won't. I want to. I'm posting here just to say that but not sure why other than just admitting that I'm not in denial and even more irritated with myself since I have noone to blame but ME.

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  • WhatAnAss
    WhatAnAss Posts: 1,598 Member
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    Then YOU need to make the change. When you feel like you want to eat for no reason grab some water and go for a walk, or do some squats, find something else that occupies your time and focus. Yes it is hard but it is also worth it. You just have to want t bad enough. Over time it will get easier and easier. You got this!
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
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    Don't beat yourself up. Just do what you know you need to do. Food is always there we use it for comfort and celebration. By logging I have learned how much I can have and when to stop (usually). When you write it down it also makes you think, " Is this worth the calories and am I really hungry?" In the beginning I banned certain trigger foods (potato chips and cheese doodles) because I had trouble controlling myself around them. Now I can have a little and be satisfied. You can do this.
  • mellygrunwelly
    mellygrunwelly Posts: 4 Member
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    I changed my food diary to public and have started attending Celebrate Recovery. I will start a 12 step soon but until then I feel like I'm still going in circles. I do good and then lose it and reset and start the cycle all over again. I try not to beat myself up but I'm very angry b/c I'm realizing how very much my choices have cost me. I don't how I was so blind to it. It's time and I know it's time and yet all at the same moment feel very overwhelmed and helpless. But I think I'm ready (I want to be ready) to actually make the changes that will stick this time. I've started SO MANY times. It kinda makes me not want to start trying to lose again but I have GOT to.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
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    I started by just forcing myself to log everything. I did not focus on changing anything until I had a week or two of just plain logging in. It is amazing what you start to realize by just looking back and seeing what you ate. Adding comments on how you feel can also help.
  • mellygrunwelly
    mellygrunwelly Posts: 4 Member
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    That is GREAT suggestion....
  • BrokenBelles
    BrokenBelles Posts: 19 Member
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    I have a lot of the same feelings about food. I thought about eating better every day since my son was born 3.5 years ago but never did anything about it. I found a new doctor that helped alot - she rans all these tests showing how being overweight was making me unhealthy.. and scheduled monthly weigh ins and a weight loss goal for each one. It has been very motivating and helps keep me on track knowing I have to go in whatever # of weeks.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    People can develop addictions to anything - gambling, food, drugs, cigarettes... the list is endless.

    The change comes when you acknowledge your addiction and recognize it for what it is.

    The HARD part is that people don't NEED gambling, drugs or cigarettes, but you do need food. So there's that tiger to deal with.

    People have given you good advice already - log everything, recognize your trigger foods if you've got them (I think we all do), and have an action plan for if and when you need help.
  • parsonsk64
    parsonsk64 Posts: 75 Member
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    I don't know if this is helpful, but my suggestion would be to plan for your meals, logging them ahead. Look forward to each and every one and revel in them when you finally do eat. But try to forget about them when it is not time to eat. Knowing that there is a time for 3 yummy meals and perhaps some planned snacks in between may help keep the cravings and urges to snack mindlessly in between at bay. Most of us can will ourselves to hold out for short periods of time, and a day divided into 5 small meals or 3 meals and two planned snacks might be what helps you find the strength to have will power for those few short segments between scheduled meals each. Be sure to save yourself calories for a snack before bed if you tend to want to munch at night. I also highly recommend moving more and being more active generally. I find that if I exercise first thing in the morning, it actually curbs my appetite for a bit longer. I am the type of person who wakes up hungry, looking forward to breakfast right away, but after some vigorous cardio I'm often surprised to find that the real feelings of hunger have abated. Good luck! Baby steps. One meal, one day at a time is all you need to focus on! You can do this. :)
  • odywithaj
    odywithaj Posts: 53 Member
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    This sounds really dumb, but I was way more accountable to other people than i was to myself. So I used that, and started going to WW. I used this to "train" myself on how to eat properly.. It's still such hard work, and not for the faint of heart. Probably the toughest thing i've ever done.

    Thankfully it lead to me running. I've now completed quite a few half marathons and a full marathon. Losing weight is HARDER and takes way more effort. Hang in there and use MFP for what it's for.. being accountable, and motivation :)

    Good Luck
  • shireeniebeanie
    shireeniebeanie Posts: 293 Member
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    Melly, you are in the right place! This site (also cell phone app) is the best place to see what you're eating and how it all adds up. You'll find the tools, the information, and the community support to help you improve your health.

    When you're ready to change the way you see food, you will begin using food to give your body what it needs. You'll begin moving around more, using exercise to take control of your situation and deal with your emotions. You will feel powerful.

    And this is where it all begins.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here
  • lcfrog1
    lcfrog1 Posts: 3
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    STOP beating yourself up!!! ... just start logging everything and be brutally honest with yourself (even on bad days). I have only lost 5 pounds in 2 months but I started with watching the steps on my fitbit I splurged on at the end of June. I started to walk a little farther, park farther and generally move more just to get more steps. But when I had an off day i started telling myself that I will do better the next day... and I have.
    I still don't get 10,000 steps per day but I started going to the gym and seeing a difference with my blood pressure. I may even be able to go off some meds soon... and each baby step, each little improvement is a high five to myself and it keeps me going.
    When I start to slide backwards in my thoughts and actions... I look for the good things I have changed. Even seeing the little ticker that says I have logged 23 days in a row is a WIN! So as I built muscle and even gained a few pounds at first (tough hit as I forgot about muscle weighing more than fat!) - I don't kick myself... society does a good job of that already... instead I celebrate my baby steps and keep reminding myself that habits are only changed with 100 days of repetition...
    So the fact you have reached out for help and support is a gigantic step and now start patting yourself on the back... change takes knowledge and the more you know, the better you can change the habits that led you here.
    I even am pleased when I have a fatburger but didn't order the fries... that was a win! (and so satisfying!)
    Although I ate something that made my calories jump - I didn't have the fires... or if I do order fries, I throw or give away half... That is a WIN! Just choosing in that moment to stop eating that chosen splurge...that is a WIN
    Everything is a tiny step towards loving yourself - and that is the key to kicking all addictions... build up that love and everything else will follow.
  • mellygrunwelly
    mellygrunwelly Posts: 4 Member
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    these are all such good comments! I totally agree that food is necessary and I have even found myself lamenting at my "drug of choice" b/c I can't cold turkey food!

    Thanks to everyone. I am going to print this thread as a reminder. Wonderful suggestions and encouragement. One meal at a time was perfect because that really is how I feel. I left work yesterday semi-pleased with how I ate (even though food was on my mind all day). Then on the way to take my son for a haircut we swung through McDonald's and I got nuggets, a small shake and large sweet tea. And then later ate dinner. GRRRR

    Maybe I should go smaller than meal by meal. Maybe I should go in moments.
  • Summerfit321
    Summerfit321 Posts: 142 Member
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    Struggling with the exact same issue, but remember, that addiction can be beaten, even one to food. Great advice has been given already. Bets of luck!
  • onefortyone
    onefortyone Posts: 531 Member
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    Good job on admitting it to yourself :) my husband called us 'food addicts' once and it REALLY struck a chord with me. Overeating (going over my calories) has always been roughly equivalent to an alcoholic having a drink - it invites the addiction back in, and triggers a downward spiral.

    It is hard because it is something we need to survive, so you can't just go cold turkey. I might always be an addict, but I believe that I am getting better. I used to see my overeating as something that was inevitable because food is so delicious and makes me feel so good, but seeing it as an addiction helped me realise that I can control food, instead of it controlling me. It also helped me to realise I was using food to fill an emotional void, so this whole journey is tied up with self-esteem and confidence issues too.

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