i don't judge obese people

For me, it was partially family conditioning (my entire family was obese and it was just taught to me because no one knew any better). And it was partially growing up in an abusive situation - my mother was NPD and was a master at making me think I was crazy. It didn't help that I was already being taught bad habits and being put down by my own family (who had little room to talk, honestly), but when I experienced others outside of my family beginning to do it as well, I just gave up hope that my life could be any better - I just accepted that, yeah, this is the way I was always going to be and I'd either learn to live with it or kill myself.

I attempted suicide many, many, many times.

It was only when I was diagnosed with diabetes that I "woke up", if you will. I'd been through years of counseling for my mental health and was finally on the road to healing from that, but once the diabetes took hold... I guess I just said, okay, my mind's good, now let's work on my body.

And here I am.

I judge NO ONE. I can't afford to. I do not know what someone else has been through in their lives, and for me to make a pronouncement that "X is better than you are"? When I'm omniscent, I'll give you a call. Until then - I don't have the power or the right to say I'm better than anyone.

Peace.

*except for when I'm judging people on their driving.

I judge fat, not people. If someone is obese, they need to lose weight; it's that simple (and if someone is underweight they need to gain weight). I don't judge them as a person until I hear them try to deny that they need to lose weight, or try to spout some HAES nonsense. If they are making an effort to lose weight good for them. We've all been there (well most of us). If they are making excuses/ externalizing their weight as beyond their control/ blaming others/ trying to justify their obesity/ etc, that reflects poorly on them as a person in my opinion.

This push by some to redefine "acceptance" as "approval" isn't fooling anyone. I don't approve of being fat, and I never will. I tolerate it, and it's up to the individual whether or not they want to be fat, but I am not going to stop saying that being fat is bad. It's unhealthy and it looks gross.

I have been fat. I still am packing more pounds than I would like. That being fat is unhealthy and looks gross shouldn't be news or surprising to anybody, whether they are fat or not. It's simply a fact. Water is wet. Being fat is gross. That isn't an insult or a jab or a judgment on any person. It is just a statement that if you are fat I think you should try your best to lose weight. You deserve respect and love. But you shouldn't be fat.

It all comes down to personal responsibility and making an effort to better oneself physically, mentally, spiritually. It has nothing to do with whether someone is currently fat.

I judge fat, not people. If someone is obese, they need to lose weight; it's that simple (and if someone is underweight they need to gain weight). I don't judge them as a person until I hear them try to deny that they need to lose weight, or try to spout some HAES nonsense. If they are making an effort to lose weight good for them. We've all been there (well most of us). If they are making excuses/ externalizing their weight as beyond their control/ blaming others/ trying to justify their obesity/ etc, that reflects poorly on them as a person in my opinion.

This push by some to redefine "acceptance" as "approval" isn't fooling anyone. I don't approve of being fat, and I never will. I tolerate it, and it's up to the individual whether or not they want to be fat, but I am not going to stop saying that being fat is bad. It's unhealthy and it looks gross.

I have been fat. I still am packing more pounds than I would like. That being fat is unhealthy and looks gross shouldn't be news or surprising to anybody, whether they are fat or not. It's simply a fact. Water is wet. Being fat is gross. That isn't an insult or a jab or a judgment on any person. It is just a statement that if you are fat I think you should try your best to lose weight. You deserve respect and love. But you shouldn't be fat.

It all comes down to personal responsibility and making an effort to better oneself physically, mentally, spiritually. It has nothing to do with whether someone is currently fat.

Could we please have a picture of you, so that we might judge your end all, be all beauty for ourselves, and decide how gross or not gross we think you are?

You know, I'm going to list some things that are gross:

Snail slime
Dirty toilets
Not washing your hands after you use the toilet
Cat hairballs

Things that are NOT gross:

Human beings regardless of size.

Why would you let yourself take someone's opinion personally? Don't get all sarcastic because someone makes you unhappy with what they say.

Like if you were unfortunate enough to be born with some sort of deformity, that would be gross. It doesn't mean you, as a person, are bad or ugly or underserving of respect or love. But the deformity itself, which is not you, is gross.

Like if you were unfortunate enough to be born with some sort of deformity, that would be gross. It doesn't mean you, as a person, are bad or ugly or underserving of respect or love. But the deformity itself, which is not you, is gross.

Seriously, I'm at the point where I'm almost speechless. What I'm trying to do, and help you understand here is that it's a package deal. What you see, it's ALL part of a person. Their "deformities, their scars, their *fat*, and/or lack there of, everything about our bodies tells a story. No, it's *not* our soul, but it's part of what we've been through. It's part of who we are. Saying "your fat is gross, but you aren't gross", no, that does't fly, nor does, "wow, you were born with a cleft palate, that's gross, but you aren't". Nope, not gonna fly. If you think these things are gross, that's fine, own them. Own them all day long and twice on Sunday, but don't be a hypocrite and say that the people associated with them aren't "gross", too. It's a package deal. You are most certainly entitled to your opinion, just like everyone else. You can think the sky is purple all the live long day if you wish. It's your absolute right, with that said, when you put it out on an internet forum, or anywhere else, just because you have an opinion, it doesn't mean someone won't challenge it, or question it, because most likely, they will.

You say it doesn't fly and I say it does. Many people with the means who are born with cleft palates, for instance, have cosmetic surgery for purely cosmetic reasons, because they think cleft palates are unattractive. The liposuction industry is huge, because people don't like looking at fat.

Saying that your fat or deformity or whatever is "part of you" is ridiculous. If someone has really greasy crappy looking hair and hasn't bathed in days someone makes a comment about how people should practice good hygiene in a thread about hygiene that IS NOT an attack on the person. I have no idea what anyone on here looks like, whether there pictures are accurate, etc, and I don't really care because I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE ON HERE. I am just talking about fat in general and that I think it's gross and that people who are fat should try to lose weight, just like someone who hasn't showered in 3 weeks should hop in the tub.

You are still trying to defend not showering, which is fine, but don't call me an *kitten* because I think people should shower and am not afraid to voice that opinion.

As for me being insecure. No. I'm simply a realist. I call it like I see it. I'm not beating myself up because of where I was, or where I am now. I like what I have going on, and I like who I am as a person. I genuinely care about other people, and I take a stand for those who may not have the strength to fight for themselves, or be able to find the words. I don't like seeing people hurt, and after I read this thread, and the other, I saw a lot of hurt, and that bothered me. It bothered me to know that here, of all places, where people where coming as a safe haven for support, they saw something that brought them down, and made them feel bad about themselves. Yeah, that made me angry, and you better believe, as a natural born leader, I stepped up to the plate. I know I can't save the world. I don't want to be Superwoman, or the President, but I don't like seeing others hurt by what I see as others either spouting off without thinking, or misinformation. The other thread was an absolute train wreck. Let's don't make this one the same way.

I never saw the other thread, and I am not trying to cause a train wreck. I am simply saying that it's bad to be fat and that if someone is fat they should try to lose weight. I'm glad you like "what you have going on". Really. What I like more is people trying to better themselves regardless of where they are currently at, and not making excuses for their poor choices. Do I know what anyone's choices on here are? No. And I'm not accusing anyone here of making poor choices. All I am saying is 7000+ calories a day doesn't eat itself, and regardless of how any of us got to the point is rather inconsequential. What matters is recognizing that being obese is a problem and doing one's best to rectify that problem. I don't judge a person based on whether or not they are fat, but I judge the state of being fat, and being fat is bad. That doesn't mean I think fat people are bad.

You seem to have trouble with the concept that an attribute that a person has can be viewed as good or bad without the person being views as good or bad, so lets try to flip the argument to show that a bad person can have good attributes to help you understand.

I think Hitler was a BAD person.

Hitler seems to have had a healthy body-weight (at least at some points, I'm not a Hitler expert).

Your argument would go like this:

1. Having a healthy body weight is GOOD

2. Hitler had a healthy body weight.

C. Therefore, Hitler was a GOOD PERSON.

This does not follow, at all, because having a single GOOD attribute is not determinative on whether someone is a GOOD PERSON.

Likewise, when I say that being obese is BAD, or GROSS, that does not mean I view all obese PEOPLE as BAD PEOPLE or GROSS PEOPLE. They have an attribute that I think is bad and gross and that I think they should work to change, but I am making no judgment on them as people, and there is no one you need to be "standing up" for, as I am not attacking anyone.