i don't judge obese people

I judge fat, not people. If someone is obese, they need to lose weight; it's that simple (and if someone is underweight they need to gain weight). I don't judge them as a person until I hear them try to deny that they need to lose weight, or try to spout some HAES nonsense. If they are making an effort to lose weight good for them. We've all been there (well most of us). If they are making excuses/ externalizing their weight as beyond their control/ blaming others/ trying to justify their obesity/ etc, that reflects poorly on them as a person in my opinion.

This push by some to redefine "acceptance" as "approval" isn't fooling anyone. I don't approve of being fat, and I never will. I tolerate it, and it's up to the individual whether or not they want to be fat, but I am not going to stop saying that being fat is bad. It's unhealthy and it looks gross.

I have been fat. I still am packing more pounds than I would like. That being fat is unhealthy and looks gross shouldn't be news or surprising to anybody, whether they are fat or not. It's simply a fact. Water is wet. Being fat is gross. That isn't an insult or a jab or a judgment on any person. It is just a statement that if you are fat I think you should try your best to lose weight. You deserve respect and love. But you shouldn't be fat.

It all comes down to personal responsibility and making an effort to better oneself physically, mentally, spiritually. It has nothing to do with whether someone is currently fat.

Could we please have a picture of you, so that we might judge your end all, be all beauty for ourselves, and decide how gross or not gross we think you are?

You know, I'm going to list some things that are gross:

Snail slime
Dirty toilets
Not washing your hands after you use the toilet
Cat hairballs

Things that are NOT gross:

Human beings regardless of size.

Why would you let yourself take someone's opinion personally? Don't get all sarcastic because someone makes you unhappy with what they say.

Like if you were unfortunate enough to be born with some sort of deformity, that would be gross. It doesn't mean you, as a person, are bad or ugly or underserving of respect or love. But the deformity itself, which is not you, is gross.

Like if you were unfortunate enough to be born with some sort of deformity, that would be gross. It doesn't mean you, as a person, are bad or ugly or underserving of respect or love. But the deformity itself, which is not you, is gross.

Seriously, I'm at the point where I'm almost speechless. What I'm trying to do, and help you understand here is that it's a package deal. What you see, it's ALL part of a person. Their "deformities, their scars, their *fat*, and/or lack there of, everything about our bodies tells a story. No, it's *not* our soul, but it's part of what we've been through. It's part of who we are. Saying "your fat is gross, but you aren't gross", no, that does't fly, nor does, "wow, you were born with a cleft palate, that's gross, but you aren't". Nope, not gonna fly. If you think these things are gross, that's fine, own them. Own them all day long and twice on Sunday, but don't be a hypocrite and say that the people associated with them aren't "gross", too. It's a package deal. You are most certainly entitled to your opinion, just like everyone else. You can think the sky is purple all the live long day if you wish. It's your absolute right, with that said, when you put it out on an internet forum, or anywhere else, just because you have an opinion, it doesn't mean someone won't challenge it, or question it, because most likely, they will.

You say it doesn't fly and I say it does. Many people with the means who are born with cleft palates, for instance, have cosmetic surgery for purely cosmetic reasons, because they think cleft palates are unattractive. The liposuction industry is huge, because people don't like looking at fat.

Saying that your fat or deformity or whatever is "part of you" is ridiculous. If someone has really greasy crappy looking hair and hasn't bathed in days someone makes a comment about how people should practice good hygiene in a thread about hygiene that IS NOT an attack on the person. I have no idea what anyone on here looks like, whether there pictures are accurate, etc, and I don't really care because I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE ON HERE. I am just talking about fat in general and that I think it's gross and that people who are fat should try to lose weight, just like someone who hasn't showered in 3 weeks should hop in the tub.

You are still trying to defend not showering, which is fine, but don't call me an *kitten* because I think people should shower and am not afraid to voice that opinion.

As for me being insecure. No. I'm simply a realist. I call it like I see it. I'm not beating myself up because of where I was, or where I am now. I like what I have going on, and I like who I am as a person. I genuinely care about other people, and I take a stand for those who may not have the strength to fight for themselves, or be able to find the words. I don't like seeing people hurt, and after I read this thread, and the other, I saw a lot of hurt, and that bothered me. It bothered me to know that here, of all places, where people where coming as a safe haven for support, they saw something that brought them down, and made them feel bad about themselves. Yeah, that made me angry, and you better believe, as a natural born leader, I stepped up to the plate. I know I can't save the world. I don't want to be Superwoman, or the President, but I don't like seeing others hurt by what I see as others either spouting off without thinking, or misinformation. The other thread was an absolute train wreck. Let's don't make this one the same way.

I never saw the other thread, and I am not trying to cause a train wreck. I am simply saying that it's bad to be fat and that if someone is fat they should try to lose weight. I'm glad you like "what you have going on". Really. What I like more is people trying to better themselves regardless of where they are currently at, and not making excuses for their poor choices. Do I know what anyone's choices on here are? No. And I'm not accusing anyone here of making poor choices. All I am saying is 7000+ calories a day doesn't eat itself, and regardless of how any of us got to the point is rather inconsequential. What matters is recognizing that being obese is a problem and doing one's best to rectify that problem. I don't judge a person based on whether or not they are fat, but I judge the state of being fat, and being fat is bad. That doesn't mean I think fat people are bad.

You seem to have trouble with the concept that an attribute that a person has can be viewed as good or bad without the person being views as good or bad, so lets try to flip the argument to show that a bad person can have good attributes to help you understand.

I think Hitler was a BAD person.

Hitler seems to have had a healthy body-weight (at least at some points, I'm not a Hitler expert).

Your argument would go like this:

1. Having a healthy body weight is GOOD

2. Hitler had a healthy body weight.

C. Therefore, Hitler was a GOOD PERSON.

This does not follow, at all, because having a single GOOD attribute is not determinative on whether someone is a GOOD PERSON.

Likewise, when I say that being obese is BAD, or GROSS, that does not mean I view all obese PEOPLE as BAD PEOPLE or GROSS PEOPLE. They have an attribute that I think is bad and gross and that I think they should work to change, but I am making no judgment on them as people, and there is no one you need to be "standing up" for, as I am not attacking anyone.

I am simply saying that it's bad to be fat and that if someone is fat they should try to lose weight.

So, what if I told you that all of my most important health markers are well within the "good" ranges, I lift like a boss, crossfit several days a week, and carry at least 40 extra pounds for my height per BMI charts. What part of all of that is bad?

I ask this because you would look at me, see that I am fat (and gross, let's not forget that part) and assume that my being fat is bad. In what way?

xxantiheroxx- next time you run into a fat person or someone with a physical abnormality in the real world, make sure and tell them how gross you think that is and that they should get some plastic surgery. make sure and tell them it's nothing personal and you're totally not judging them as person, but really that's gross man. throw money at that problem and make it go away.

or if you see a 12 year old girl that's maybe a little husky(that's always what people called us-husky) make sure and tell her how gross that tummy is or her thighs. and then make sure and pat yourself on the back for planting the seeds of an eating disorder. it'll be one less gross fatty you have to look at.

you may not ever think of it when you spew opinions into virtual space- but those words no matter what the intent- can destroy someone.
you missed the point of this thread. it is supposed to be positive, encouraging and helpful. your opinion on fat being gross is none of those things. at all. you can't pick apart a person and accept one thing and not another. it's not your burden to bear in the first place. a person is a whole package, lumps stumps warts and fat- but they come with a heart too and feelings. and a lot of those feelings happen to be self-hate and guilt for those things you are calling gross. the body acceptance movement isn't about "i'm here i'm fat deal with it." it's about finding the strength to love yourself in spite of those things so maybe you can change them.

I am simply saying that it's bad to be fat and that if someone is fat they should try to lose weight.

So, what if I told you that all of my most important health markers are well within the "good" ranges, I lift like a boss, crossfit several days a week, and carry at least 40 extra pounds for my height per BMI charts. What part of all of that is bad?

I ask this because you would look at me, see that I am fat (and gross, let's not forget that part) and assume that my being fat is bad. In what way?

I would tell you that everyone knows BMI is a bs scale, and go get a bf% test of some reputable accuracy done.

I won't be a smart *kitten*, on this one and tell you that I know quite a bit about Hitler, WWII, and Germany. I'm absolutely fascinated by history. But case in point, you made my case for me, by the logic that you present, that *fat* people are gross. You showed that the Supreme Chancellor of Germany, a man, that, for all intents and purposes was considered to be of average height and weight, and by your standards would be considered "not gross", was yet, a vile, heinous human being, not because of the way that he looked, not because of his body, any part of his body, or the package that came with him, but because of the acts that he, and his inner circle carried out. Now, you know who Adolf Hitler was. You know the heinous acts that he and his inner circle orchestrated and committed. The average person, walking down the street. We know nothing about them. We don't know if they have bodies under their homes, or if they are running a soup kitchen for the poor. We don't know their hearts. If they are obese, we don't know the reason. If they have scars, we don't know why. If they have a deformity, we don't know the cause.

The point I'm making, it took me a great many years to look beyond myself and realize there a hell of a lot more people on this earth than just me. People go through things that I can't even fathom. My worst day on this earth, may be the best day that someone is praying for. I don't know their struggles and successes, and I sure can't tell by looking at them. I have zero room to look at another human being and judge who they are, or what they've been through, simply by what they look like. I constantly remind myself of this if I find myself making a judgement when I'm looking at a person. There are times, and often, I do see people and wonder what their stories are, what they've been through, what they are going through, are they happy, and various other questions, simply because I am a curious person by nature, but until someone actually opens their mouth, and speaks, and lets me in on who they are, what they believe, and where they stand on things, I do my best to reserve judgement.

I am simply saying that it's bad to be fat and that if someone is fat they should try to lose weight.

So, what if I told you that all of my most important health markers are well within the "good" ranges, I lift like a boss, crossfit several days a week, and carry at least 40 extra pounds for my height per BMI charts. What part of all of that is bad?

I ask this because you would look at me, see that I am fat (and gross, let's not forget that part) and assume that my being fat is bad. In what way?

I'd really have to look at you to know what I would think, but I will assume for your hypothetical that you look fat, which I find unattractive. There is no good reason for someone to be 40+ lbs overweight that I can think of.

I would probably think, "This person is fat and needs to lose weight". I would assume that you were at least slightly unhealthier if you didn't tell me "I'm in perfect health" (and who knows, you could be lying anyways, either to me or yourself), and I would think, "this person should lose some weight to be healthier/have more confidence/be more attractive/have more energy".

Or I might not think anything at all. It all depends on how you carry it, I guess. I certainly wouldn't compliment you on being overweight, unless you used to be REALLY overweight and had lost some weight and were in the process of trying to lose weight, in which case I would compliment you on your progress and tell you to keep it up!

I won't be a smart *kitten*, on this one and tell you that I know quite a bit about Hitler, WWII, and Germany. I'm absolutely fascinated by history. But case in point, you made my case for me, by the logic that you present, that *fat* people are gross. You showed that the Supreme Chancellor of Germany, a man, that, for all intents and purposes was considered to be of average height and weight, and by your standards would be considered "not gross", was yet, a vile, heinous human being, not because of the way that he looked, not because of his body, any part of his body, or the package that came with him, but because of the acts that he, and his inner circle carried out. Now, you know who Adolf Hitler was. You know the heinous acts that he and his inner circle orchestrated and committed. The average person, walking down the street. We know nothing about them. We don't know if they have bodies under their homes, or if they are running a soup kitchen for the poor. We don't know their hearts. If they are obese, we don't know the reason. If they have scars, we don't know why. If they have a deformity, we don't know the cause.

The point I'm making, it took me a great many years to look beyond myself and realize there a hell of a lot more people on this earth than just me. People go through things that I can't even fathom. My worst day on this earth, may be the best day that someone is praying for. I don't know their struggles and successes, and I sure can't tell by looking at them. I have zero room to look at another human being and judge who they are, or what they've been through, simply by what they look like. I constantly remind myself of this if I find myself making a judgement when I'm looking at a person. There are times, and often, I do see people and wonder what their stories are, what they've been through, what they are going through, are they happy, and various other questions, simply because I am a curious person by nature, but until someone actually opens their mouth, and speaks, and lets me in on who they are, what they believe, and where they stand on things, I do my best to reserve judgement.

Well we are in agreement on this and I have never implied otherwise. I have consistently maintained that it is the fat that is gross, not necessarily the people.

For some reason you think that the "fat" and the "people" can't be separated, but it's quite obvious they can; just head on over to success stories and see for yourself.

Do I think that fat people are gross? No. I think fat is gross, so yes I do think that fat people have at least 1 gross attribute. Their fat. I am fully supportive of anyone who is fat who is working to eliminate their fat. I don't judge them. They are fat, that is a fact. I find fat gross, that is also a fact. Thus, I think fat people should work to lose fat.

It has nothing to do with the type of person they are. I am not demanding that they hide themselves from my sight. I am not even asking them to lose weight. I just think it would be in everyone's best interest if they did.

If anyone is happy being fat and doesn't like my opinion that fat people should lose fat, tough titties for me. It's no skin off my back and it won't be the first time I have had a difference of opinion with someone.

Again, and again, and again, and again... and again, I do not judge people based on their weight.