There is hope.

engagedprincess · September 2014

This is not about weight loss, this is about my story through mental illness and coming out the other side. MFP admin, if you think it may be triggering feel free to delete.

Hi everyone, my name is Ellie, I am a nursing student, a dancer, I love the beach, singing, chilling with friends and animals.

September 10th is Suicide Prevention Day and September 11th is RUOK day. Check in with your loved ones around you, you may just save a life. My friend encouraged me to share my story, to show that there is hope.

When I was 14, I went to the gp and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was put on meds which made me worse and saw countless counsellors which didn't help at all.

As the abuse I was enduring worsened, so did my mental health and I started self harming to release the pain I was feeling. Everything kept getting worse and worse until I tried to take my own life. At the age of 14, I just couldn't live anymore. I continued to self harm and continually tried to kill myself over and over. In 2012, I was found after trying to kill myself and brought into hospital. That was the beginning of that, in the past 2 years I have been in hospital more than 50 times - in a combination of medical wards and psychiatric wards. I lost my job, I couldn't study. I finally got the right diagnoses, therefore I finally have the right treatment. I was diagnosed with PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder whilst in hospital, and I now have a very good support team surrounding me.

But FINALLY things are starting to look up. I am back at uni, able to study again, my moods are stabilised, haven't self harmed in 41 days, have amazing friends and I am living life for my baby girls, Princess Valentine and Lolita Rose.

I am actually happy!!! I never thought I would be able to say that. This time last year all I wanted was to be dead but with the right treatment and direction in my life, I have made a life worth living.

I am living proof that it gets better. Be strong, get through the rainy periods and come out the other side stronger than ever.

The stigma surrounding mental illness and suicide is one which needs to dissipate. If we could get more people talking about suicide, it would not have such a high mortality rate.

So let's get the word out there, make a revolution, stop people being too scared to talk about things they need to talk about. It's okay not to be okay.

Also, if you struggle with any of these issues feel free to pm me

xx

evee7340 · September 2014

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD too, and have had depression and anxiety since my early teens, almost the same as you. It's a rough road. So glad to hear you're doing well, though. It really is all about finding the right treatment sometimes--that and just a lot of focus on what you need to do to stay in the game. I wish you much luck and strength!

Also, I have a huge amount of respect for nurses, just wanted to say that.

engagedprincess · September 2014

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD too, and have had depression and anxiety since my early teens, almost the same as you. It's a rough road. So glad to hear you're doing well, though. It really is all about finding the right treatment sometimes--that and just a lot of focus on what you need to do to stay in the game. I wish you much luck and strength!

Also, I have a huge amount of respect for nurses, just wanted to say that.

Thanks so much and I hope you are doing well

engagedprincess · September 2014

bump

wailana82 · September 2014

Thank you for sharing your story. I am too glad you are doing well and have found the right treatment for you. I have never been diagnosed or treated but I do experience mild depression here and there as well as low self esteem. What helps me is exercise and quiet prayer time. Everyone has to find what works for them. Again, glad you're doing well.

knitapeace · September 2014

Thank you so much for your post. There is a teenager with depression in my life who I love with all my heart, and I want nothing more than to see her grow up and find her way to her own personal happiness. Thanks for reminding me that there is hope.

gvj777 · September 2014

My life was saved. It helped to reach out.

KennaCanuck · September 2014

I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and depression in 1978, first became ill with symptoms in 1975/76. It's been a long rocky road. I think you'll make a super nurse, keep on hoping, that's what gets us through, and good caregivers and friends are indispensable. Joy can be yours. You know, when Pandora opened the box, all the ills of the world flew out, and she found hope in the bottom of the box. A gift from the gods.

elephant2mouse · September 2014

Thank you for sharing your story!

I have a mood disorder and have struggled with self harm for 11 years now... Jeez that sounds crazy considering I'm only 22...

My mom also is diagnosed with PTSD and psychosis.

I'm on a new medication, and I think this one is actually helping... So cheers for the right cocktail of meds! And a lovely support system.
:flowerforyou:

MrsATrotta · September 2014

Thanks for sharing.

Rebeccas_Life · September 2014

Thank-you for being brave and sharing your story! My daughter has shared some of the same things in her life, and is a different person now that she has the correct treatments and supports. I agree that awareness of suicide is an important topic to spread awareness about, and I am SO glad to hear that you're doing better and are using your experiences to help others... warms my heart!! :flowerforyou:

Julieboolieaz · September 2014

Thank you for sharing your experience and hope! I'm so glad you're doing well! I am sure there are some reading your post who don't think that they can get through their dark time. They can! There is help out there! God cares, and there are good people who will help you. Don't give up!! Keep reaching out until you find the right help.

There is hope.

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