Fat Shaming - New Research
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It is just typical of the blame culture of todays society.
Some people assume you are fat because you are lazy and greedy.
Like some people assume I must be anorexic just because I normally weigh 100 lbs. at 5'4....Some people go as far as to harass me into force feeding like I'm someone about to die, yet I'm still living and kicking, never felt better.
The humiliating and belittling goes BOTH ways and is equally shameful and disgraceful!!!
I agree, I also think that people of your body type also get hit by 'it's ok to be fat' type posts/memes. Whilst they are making a valid point it comes at the expense of others0 -
So I read these articles today:
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/11/fat-shaming-slim-sanctimonious-cause-obesity-crisis
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/great-british-bake-off/11090353/Fat-is-something-you-have-not-something-you-are.html
It's interesting to see the comments sections. Even after the articles state that fat shaming can make things worse, you still get the extremely rude and uninformed people doing just that.
My favourite comment:
"Eat less exercise more. Get organised.
And stop blaming everybody else"
For me, this sums up my personal weight loss goal. The more unorganised I am, the worse my diet is and the less inclined I am to exercise.
What are everyone's thoughts on this? Do you think fat-shaming makes obesity worse?
Negativity in any format does not help to resolve any situation.
I do kind of agree with the blaming everyone else comment, real change comes when we look within. It's so easy to blame everything around us outside of ourselves. Just my opinion
Go look at fb or just listen to people and the amount of excuses that come out of them. The only person an excuse sounds good to is the person making it up, all your really doing is saying your weak.0 -
I think that what fat shaming does is... basically exactly what the name implies. It shames people, which (for many) starts a very nasty cycle of self loathing. They hate themselves for being fat, might not know what to do about it or where to start and then end up indulging in the behaviours which cause it. Then they hate themselves a little more.
There are people out there who use that shame to motivate themselves to do what's needed to change, but they're few and far between.
It's just another way to hate and another excuse to bully... and it's something people who do it often feel justified for doing... "This person did it to themselves" type mentality.
(but I didn't read the articles so this is also a bump for later)
Very well put.
As someone who was obese at age 13, I was shamed left and right by my peers. I was told I would only be worthy x,y,z if I was smaller. As a young woman I was completely embarrassed of my weight and didn't need others pointing it out to make me feel the need to change. Barely a teenager it was very hard to deal with, so much was about my size, that my size defined me as a person.
I did start my health journey at age 15 and it was amazing how the world changed for me when I was smaller. Since then, my weight has gone up and down (realized it wasn't an instant fix) and see the ugly side of shame again. At least now, at age 26, I can handle it better #hatersgonnahate0 -
So I read these articles today:
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/11/fat-shaming-slim-sanctimonious-cause-obesity-crisis
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/great-british-bake-off/11090353/Fat-is-something-you-have-not-something-you-are.html
It's interesting to see the comments sections. Even after the articles state that fat shaming can make things worse, you still get the extremely rude and uninformed people doing just that.
My favourite comment:
"Eat less exercise more. Get organised.
And stop blaming everybody else"
For me, this sums up my personal weight loss goal. The more unorganised I am, the worse my diet is and the less inclined I am to exercise.
What are everyone's thoughts on this? Do you think fat-shaming makes obesity worse?
Negativity in any format does not help to resolve any situation.
I do kind of agree with the blaming everyone else comment, real change comes when we look within. It's so easy to blame everything around us outside of ourselves. Just my opinion
Go look at fb or just listen to people and the amount of excuses that come out of them. The only person an excuse sounds good to is the person making it up, all your really doing is saying your weak.
My issue with the stop blaming everyone else comment, is the way it is worded (and the fact that the person I quoted probably was sitting on their pedestal when they said it). Yes we all blame someone or something else to start with, but you really have to get to the bottom of why you started/continue to eat the way you do. Often it's only after you understand why you overate/under-exercised do you find the motivation to change.0 -
For every fat person I have ever met - including myself - fat shaming has done nothing but make the problem worse. It was only when I became totally in love with myself that I began my weight loss journey and that sentiment has been echoed all across the fat acceptance community.
Want to combat obesity? Worry about yourself. If you have a loved one who seems to be going in the wrong direction, speak to them privately, respectfully, and from a place of love.
Want to be make the problem worse? Start shouting at fatties on the internet or on the street, mocking and humiliating them as non-people.
Want to be a decent human being? Treat other human beings with respect and dignity, no matter if you disagree with their fat, their leopard print pants, or their piercings.
And get a damned hobby.0 -
It is just typical of the blame culture of todays society.
Some people assume you are fat because you are lazy and greedy.
Like some people assume I must be anorexic just because I normally weigh 100 lbs. at 5'4....Some people go as far as to harass me into force feeding like I'm someone about to die, yet I'm still living and kicking, never felt better.
The humiliating and belittling goes BOTH ways and is equally shameful and disgraceful!!!
I have a cousin that is a similar height and weight to you. The last photo i saw of her, she looked great.
I think that is still in the normal BMI range if i calculated correct, but thats only a guide anyway.
If you feel good and healthy, thats the main thing.0 -
totally depends on the person. For me, I found the constant opposite (people lying and said i am fine and I don't need to lose weight) perpetuated me being huge. I was a size 22/24, obese and knew I was overweight but genuinely didn't clock how huge I was until I effectively was fat shamed.
Some people go the other way and put on weight.
With me, the lying of "you don't need to lose weight" only made me think it was acceptable to feel unhealthy, not fit into anything that wasn't a sack as "that's how I am" or "body type" and have now found it hard to trust my own or others judgement.
I was huge because I was greedy. Yes, I exercised but I ate ***** loads, drank loads and kept telling myself "oh skinny people eat what they want" "wah wah not fair".0 -
It is just typical of the blame culture of todays society.
Some people assume you are fat because you are lazy and greedy.
Like some people assume I must be anorexic just because I normally weigh 100 lbs. at 5'4....Some people go as far as to harass me into force feeding like I'm someone about to die, yet I'm still living and kicking, never felt better.
The humiliating and belittling goes BOTH ways and is equally shameful and disgraceful!!!
To be fair that IS quite low.
BMI = 17.16 kg/m2
107.5 lbs is the lowest healthy BMI for 5'4" (that's my height). So that is definitely considered an unhealthy weight.0 -
What do you do if someone asks your opinion? "Do I look fat? Do I need to lose weight?" If you say yes, most people will consider that fat shaming.0
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While obesity may not be healthy, I think we need to be respectful toward people. As a group, we all need to get the message about what is healthy for our bodies (and finances, etc). However, people shouldn't go around informing others about what they need to change to improve themselves. These decisions are up to each individual.
Everyone deserves respect, and people aren't on this planet to be ornaments for others. It doesn't matter if people are sexually attracted to another person's body. It doesn't make them any less valuable than someone who is considered to be more sexually attractive. If you don't want to get it on with a fat person, then don't. You don't need to inform that person that you think they're too fat to appeal to you.
Also, I think that people confuse beautiful with sexually attractive sometimes. When people say something or someone is beautiful, it doesn't mean that everyone will want to do it with them. I mean, a sunset can be beautiful, but hopefully you don't want to *bonk* it.0 -
It is just typical of the blame culture of todays society.
Some people assume you are fat because you are lazy and greedy.
Like some people assume I must be anorexic just because I normally weigh 100 lbs. at 5'4....Some people go as far as to harass me into force feeding like I'm someone about to die, yet I'm still living and kicking, never felt better.
The humiliating and belittling goes BOTH ways and is equally shameful and disgraceful!!!
To be fair that IS quite low.
BMI = 17.16 kg/m2
107.5 lbs is the lowest healthy BMI for 5'4" (that's my height). So that is definitely considered an unhealthy weight.
BMI is not a good indicator of a person's ideal weight. It doesn't take into account sooo many other factors, like muscle density (I know a personal trainer guy, barely an ounce of fat on him, who is categorised as obese by the BMI method when he is clearly anything but), or genetics. For example, certain ethnicities have smaller bone structures than others (one of the ladies I work with wears a UK size 10, but is actually overweight, whereas when I have worn a UK size 10 in the past, I have been at a healthy weight - rather than overweight as I currently am).
I never trust BMI alone.0 -
I think it's really insecurity and eating disorders making it worse, not the jerks who shame others. The shaming can only make it worse if the person has problems to begin with.
It isn't nice, though! It's not excusable on the grounds that it cannot, per se, cause weight gain. There is no excuse for the "Lay off the donuts!" and "Eat a cheeseburger!" fat and skinny shaming.
Making fun of people's bodies is mean. Saying, "it's easy to lose! Just stop eating!" or "It's easy to gain! Just eat more!" is, at best, ignorant and obnoxious. But usually, it's just cruel.
As is usually the case when insults like that are hurled, t says a LOT more about the person saying it than it does about the one hearing it.0 -
I think shame is an incredibly unhelpful emotion and that encouraging someone to feel shame about their physical appearance is likely to make it more difficult for them to be able to do what is necessary to lose weight. Public policy based on shaming people for being overweight is obviously a bad idea and excuses for meanness or making fun of someone based on the idea that you are encouraging healthy behavior, etc., is laughable and disingenuous.
All that said, I'm not sure what "fat shaming" is supposed to be in the articles or the general discussion. Especially the first one seems to refer even to the use of BMI by doctors, and from reading Dave Campos on this I know some, at least, will argue that efforts to educate kids about what a healthy weight is or that it's better to be a healthy weight or "eat less, move more" are inherently "shaming," and I think that's silly and really a kind of damaging trend in our society to say that everything should be affirmed, that it's improper to have standards, because someone might feel bad (getting a C might bum someone out, so we can't have grades that mean anything).
As someone who has been fat, I found shame to be a problem, but it didn't come from knowledge of medical facts--if anything those were empowering, as was finally getting on the scale and admitting to myself how heavy I was. The shame was more wrapped up in generalized shame or not being okay with being myself that I struggled with throughout the earlier period of my life. And getting over that definitely helped me be able to lose weight, but the fact that I know fat is frowned upon or considered non ideal or unattractive didn't preclude me getting over that, so I think it's more complicated then some of the overuses of "fat shaming" would have it. In fact, I don't even think I was ever "fat shamed" in a way I'd recognize as such by anyone but me.
(Same comments apply to skinny shaming.)0 -
It is just typical of the blame culture of todays society.
Some people assume you are fat because you are lazy and greedy.
Like some people assume I must be anorexic just because I normally weigh 100 lbs. at 5'4....Some people go as far as to harass me into force feeding like I'm someone about to die, yet I'm still living and kicking, never felt better.
The humiliating and belittling goes BOTH ways and is equally shameful and disgraceful!!!
I'm confused, and maybe you explained this somewhere, but it appears that you are currently trying to lose about 22 lbs. What do you weigh now?
Edit: oh, I see--you are trying to lose down to 100 from about 122, and you live in Asia. Who are these people who are skinny shaming you, if 100 is considered normal in your society (which it might well be--I know the BMI skews lower in parts of Asia)? I mean, people have already told me I don't need to lose more weight (which is ridiculous) and yet that's not shaming; it's an effort to be nice.0 -
Here's my issue. I had a friend about 10 years ago who was very very obese. She was made fun of for it all the time. She felt bad about herself, she turned to food, got even bigger. Well one day she'd had enough, she bought a bike and started riding it everyday. She rode it over to my house one day and some guys across the street from my house started laughing and pointing at her. Telling her she was going break the bike. She never rode it again. It's all counter productive. Support is the key.0
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All that said, I'm not sure what "fat shaming" is supposed to be in the articles or the general discussion. Especially the first one seems to refer even to the use of BMI by doctors, and from reading Dave Campos on this I know some, at least, will argue that efforts to educate kids about what a healthy weight is or that it's better to be a healthy weight or "eat less, move more" are inherently "shaming," and I think that's silly and really a kind of damaging trend in our society to say that everything should be affirmed, that it's improper to have standards, because someone might feel bad (getting a C might bum someone out, so we can't have grades that mean anything).
I definitely think that we shouldn't consider general messages about healthy behaviors, health goals, etc. to be fat shaming. We need to know what we should be doing to be healthy. I think the "shaming" happens when messages are directed toward a specific individual, unless the message is coming from a doctor. It's different for a doctor to review someone's file and issue a warning about the damage the person's diet/lack of exercise may be doing than it is for someone to walk up to a coworker and inform them that they're too fat.0 -
P.S. Is that gorgeous cat in your profile picture yours? I have a Black cat with yellow eyes, male..1.5 years old...I treasure him with all my heart. He's crazy about my kids! :blushing:
Thanks! Yes--he's adorable, and super playful. I like to say that he's my workout inspiration.0 -
What do you do if someone asks your opinion? "Do I look fat? Do I need to lose weight?" If you say yes, most people will consider that fat shaming.
I don't agree. If someone asks the question directly, then a direct answer isn't shaming. When someone didn't ask and your entire point is to point out a physical flaw in an attempt to make them feel like they are worth less. That is shaming. If you try to making someone feel bad about themselves, that directly is trying to make them feel ashamed of their bodies. Thus shaming. Every single obese person knows they need to lose weight. So I don't see how any one of them would ever ask that question, and if they do that's on them if they don't like the answer.0 -
It's different for a doctor to review someone's file and issue a warning about the damage the person's diet/lack of exercise may be doing than it is for someone to walk up to a coworker and inform them that they're too fat.
I totally agree that the latter is unacceptable and rude and any efforts to justify it are really just efforts to justify bad behavior that I don't understand the impulse for. It's also (IME) relatively rare among adults, at least not terrible ones, which is why I think a lot of us recall "shaming" type behaviors mostly from being younger. I wasn't overweight as a young person, but I was told I was bad and inadequate in all kinds of other ways, but that's just middle school for many, ugh.
What always worries me about the "shaming" discussions is that the stuff like this is already recognized as bad behavior, and rude, so I kind of suspect something else is at issue. It's like the conversations are always too vague.
But I totally agree that shaming does not lead to people being able to take positive steps. Better to help empower them. And laughing at or mocking someone trying to exercise makes you deserve a special level of hell in my mind. Disgusting.0 -
Should people be aloud to criticise (aka 'shame') negative aspects of any person at all?
If so, how would one determine which aspects are ok and which are not?
Me, I've always been happy to either take criticism on the chin if it's justified, or offer a thought out defence/explanation if I don't think it - I might even learn something in the latter case.0
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