Wow, some people
smedlund
Posts: 117 Member
So, I was dating this guy. I asked him why he was attracted to me and he said "Once you lose the weight, you're going to be a knockout and I want to get in on that on the front end, plus you'll have to beat guys off with a stick and I want that to myself." When he initially said this, I didn't know how to take it. I chalked it up to honesty but it still made me a bit upset. As the relationship progressed, other things came out. He has an obvious problem with alcohol. There's a bunch of insecurity, mainly over me having more education than him and a better job. He broke plans with me more than he kept them. When I needed someone there he was less than a stellar partner but I needed to be there for him whenever he needed me. Basically I felt like he wanted a kept woman while he went out and lived his life. After his last plan breaking, I decided it was over. I broke up with him. Then I got to thinking about all this other stuff. I mean, telling me I'll be a knockout once I lose the weight is kind of degrading. What about the other qualities of a person? None of that was ever mentioned. Just my looks. Well, better to nip it in the bud before it went on way too long. Am I overreacting by his comments? Trust me, there's a lot more that went into the decision to break up with him than that. Funny thing is, he called me "crazy demanding" for wanting to be respected and said I have a "sick obsession" about our relationship because I bought into his words; he told me he wanted to be with me and just me, just the two of us, wanted a relationship, but that's not how he acted.....BLEH!! Some people.
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Replies
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I hate to say it this way but...
Your boyfriend sounds like a real a**... :flowerforyou:0 -
you'll have to beat guys off with a stick
lulz0 -
At best, he's an idiot. At worse, an a**. Cheers to him being an ex!0
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Don't know if it's true or not, but males and females are somewhat attracted to people who may resemble their parents both in looks and character. Psych professor talked to me about it once. I kinda believe him. My DW is like my mom was at the same age.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Good for you!
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Don't know if it's true or not, but males and females are somewhat attracted to people who may resemble their parents both in looks and character. Psych professor talked to me about it once. I kinda believe him. My DW is like my mom was at the same age.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I've heard of this too and seen some similarities. Pretty interesting stuff.0 -
Good riddance to him!0
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Don't know if it's true or not, but males and females are somewhat attracted to people who may resemble their parents both in looks and character. Psych professor talked to me about it once. I kinda believe him. My DW is like my mom was at the same age.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I've heard of this too and seen some similarities. Pretty interesting stuff.
Everyone has always commented that my husband is pretty much exactly like my Dad. :flowerforyou:0 -
Don't know if it's true or not, but males and females are somewhat attracted to people who may resemble their parents both in looks and character. Psych professor talked to me about it once. I kinda believe him. My DW is like my mom was at the same age.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Ok, THAT scares the **** out of me.
I don't want to be like my inlaw, not a second.
To OP, I think that you sacked him counts as weightloss. What a brick.0 -
My ex once told me I should be grateful that he was with me because at least he stuck with me when I bigger.... people say some stupid ish.0
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Good work making him your ex not current boyfriend. He sounds like a totally awful person.0
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That's a lot of warning signs of him being an abusive partner, so yeah, well done for getting shot of him.0
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"Once you lose the weight, you're going to be a knockout and I want to get in on that on the front end, plus you'll have to beat guys off with a stick and I want that to myself."
This is called a "red flag".0 -
Don't know if it's true or not, but males and females are somewhat attracted to people who may resemble their parents both in looks and character. Psych professor talked to me about it once. I kinda believe him. My DW is like my mom was at the same age.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
true for some people my older brother married a girl who acts as if she's his mom. me not a chance in hell. i don't need some control freak. i need my equal in life0 -
Best decision you made was getting rid of that douche bag, sorry but thats what he sounds like to me. If any guy told me some BS about how he I'd be knock out once I lost all this weight, he would be gone before he could finish his sentence. He sounds like a douche bag and you can do much better. :flowerforyou:0
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OP, you WIN! :drinker: Don't think about all the B.S. he brought. Take a big deep breath and pat yourself on the back for getting yourself out of this relationship. It's a victory for you. That stupid, immature stuff he said and did is more a reflection of him than it is of you. Take it as a learning experience and grow from it. You'll look back on this with relief and now you'll know what NOT to look for in the next partner!0
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I hate to say it this way but...
Your boyfriend sounds like a real a**... :flowerforyou:
^This :flowerforyou:0 -
Don't know if it's true or not, but males and females are somewhat attracted to people who may resemble their parents both in looks and character. Psych professor talked to me about it once. I kinda believe him. My DW is like my mom was at the same age.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
true for some people my older brother married a girl who acts as if she's his mom. me not a chance in hell. i don't need some control freak. i need my equal in life
That's true for my brother, too. He picked someone a lot like his mommy physically. The personality is quite different, though. When strangers see me, my sister and my sister-in-law with my Mom, they think SIL is the daughter. They have a similar height and build. I think it's funny when people tell guys to look at their girlfriend's mother to find out what she's going to look like in the future. So not true in my family. My sister and I are tall (Mom's short) and I'm kinda lean and athletic (Mom's never been.)
I didn't pick a guy who looks or acts anything like my Dad. I like my Dad and I think he gave me a good foundation and a healthy self-esteem which enabled me to both choose and be a good spouse, but my Dad's personality is NOT compatible with mine in terms of partnership. We are too alike in the wrong ways and too different in the right ways - if that makes any sense. So there is no way I would end up with a guy like Dad, LOL! :laugh:0 -
Oh I would have shown him a knockout alright. Right across his face.0
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It amazes me the *kitten* some people put up with in relationships... :noway:0
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Sounds like you are better off without him. I truly believe there is someone for everyone out there.
At the same time.....
I would hate to try dating in my 40's; while my 62 yr. old Mom has been married 4 x and always seems to be looking for #5.
May just be the whole married for 20 yrs. thing though.
Good luck with getting healthier and finding someone special in your future.0 -
Be proud of your decision to dump this jerk!0
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You did good kicking his *kitten* to the curb!0
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Thanks all! Yes, there were a lot of red flags. I feel better for getting rid of him. I would rather figure this out sooner rather than later. TIme for me to reflect and work on myself.
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Congrats on dumping a real jerk!0
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OMG! I just read the first few lines and thought How horrible that comment was! he sounds like a real douche and doesn't deserve you! Guys are supposed to respect, cherish and protect women. Good on you for getting rid of him!! 0
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Don't know if it's true or not, but males and females are somewhat attracted to people who may resemble their parents both in looks and character. Psych professor talked to me about it once. I kinda believe him. My DW is like my mom was at the same age.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I once read a book on this theory
and for those of you who swear you'll never marry anyone similar to your parents, the book explains how you tend to push your husband or wife to behave that way because it's what you're used to. For example: a woman that says she will never marry a man that drinks too much, like her father, tries to marry a man that doesn't drink, but in subtle ways over time gets him started. I can't remember the title, but it was very interesting how people pick their partners.0 -
You're already a knockout for respecting yourself enough to get rid of that mess.0
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My 1st husband liked to tell me how much weight I needed to lose, also liked to tell me how stupid I was, among a list of things I could go on about, he was heavier than me by far, long story short, our marriage didn't last very long. (and no he was nothing like my father)0
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