Really need help and encouragement

Hi and welcome! I'm new to the community too and I'm not an expert but I'll try to answer from my personal experience so far.
Yes, if you exercise you can eat back the calories you burn. When you record your cardio on the mfp app it increases your calorie food allowance. I often find after a heavy workout, you need to eat more. I'm always starving when I come out the gym.

I've been having a similar problem with not seeing any results on the scales. Try to record your progress with measuring tape and progress pics. The scale is not always accurate. It could also be muscle weighing down the scale.

Another point is try to work out daily. Even if you can't make it to the gym every day, try to stay active like walking instead of driving places. Also do some squats and sit ups at home when you have a spare moment. Small things like this will keep your metabolism going when you can't go to the gym.

I noticed you mentioned that you have a medical condition. Maybe your medication may have side effects that could have an impact on your weight? Check with your Dr. I have a thyroid condition that plays havoc with my weight. My medication contributes to my weight issue too.

Hope this helps. Try to stay positive and don't rely on just the scales!!

If you have set up realistic goals on MFP you should definitely eat back the calories, unless you're really not hungry. It's important to find something longterm sustainable for you, it's different for everyone. Especially with so many other people depending on you, it's got to be really hard to find the time and energy to exercise and food prep. Making it in the gym 4 times a week is a big accomplishment.

I rotate in a lot of different stuff but avoid the cheats for the most part. I find I get in the most trouble when I've been having cheat meals; its really hard for me to eat healthy after I had burgers and fries the day before. Right now I'm coming off a leg injury (torn quadricep, not related to any workout routines) and just getting back into cardio after a lot of rehab.

I don't go very carb crazy and I don't really eat bread regularly anymore but I've found a sustainable eating plan. I have the luxury of being able to really control my diet and exercise times though. Don't know if it's any help but my normal day is something like;

- french press and kind bar (nut delight variety)
- 2ish hours later, usually 1 serving oatmeal with double chocolate protein powder (sometimes a sliced banana) and a 110 cal spicy chicken sausage
- 2ish hours later, nonfat greek yogurt (with fruit, peach variety usually, so some natural sugar)
- workout (about an hour, i rotate cardio with strength every other day, then flip that every week)
- skim milk + protein powder after workout
- dinner, this one rotates a lot. Some examples;

- 6oz ground turkey with black beans, garlic, onions & taco sauce on 3 60cal corn tortillas
- crock pot shredded salsa chicken breasts on 3 corn tortillas
- chicken breast and veggies (bleh)
- big volume stir fries (soy sauce sauteed veggies instead of any oil, with chicken breast or a couple sliced chicken sausages)

Lately I've been getting into shirataki tofu noodles. They're only 40cal a packet, there are some recipes online. It's a pretty high volume meal, lately I'll make;

- 1 package shiritaki tofu noodles (fettuccine), 2-3 wedges laughing cow light, mushrooms, peas and a chicken breast (or sometimes just more veggies)
- 1 package noodles (spaghetti style), with soy sauce + mushrooms + sriracha + chicken or whatever

Tonight I had those noodles with the filling for turkey wraps and a 35cal wedge of cheese. It's pretty filling. I hate being hungry. A lot of it for me is spacing out my eating so I never get too hungry.

For snacks I do stuff like, 1 cup blueberries with a serving of almonds, a 'sad pizza' (brown rice cake with a melted mozzarella and taco sauce, sometimes with sauteed mushrooms). I also eat those double chocolate sugar free 60cal puddings (though they're really not good for you)

Some days its a real struggle. If I get really hungry (which is usually if I've been cheating for a while) then I'll do like, pickle platters with spicy mustard (high sodium but like no calories), a cup of miso soup with sauteed vegges (pretty filling, like 50 cal) or sometimes put a fried egg in the miso. Those shiritaki nooodles are good for low calorie high volume snacks. Some people hate them, I find you just have to rinse them well and be sure to have strong flavors in whatever you make with them.

Just remember - it's a race not a sprint. Try to not get discouraged if progress is slow; it takes a long time for your body to adjust to new weights. I've heard something like 6-8 months per 10lb (though it seems to vary per person) - in the meantime your body is trying to eat its way back to the old weight.

Don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day, feeling bad just makes it harder to get back on track. If you find a sustainable diet I think you'd be way better off than with stuff like paleo. Eventually your body will adjust and it will be easier to stay closer to your goals.

Social groups definitely help you stay on track too.

Good luck!