My boyfriend doesn't like the new me HELP!!!

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124

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  • NuclearGirl
    NuclearGirl Posts: 80
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    i say he doesnt deserve u and u should come out for a drink with me instead :O) lol

    I agree. Dump the boyfriend and go out with Hippygeeza instead! :bigsmile:
  • sillygoose1977
    sillygoose1977 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    What a ****. That's all I can say. You have to take care of yourself first.
  • cmrich0511
    cmrich0511 Posts: 31
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    I'm a bit blunt, so hopefully I won't offend...

    If you are considered obese by your BMI, and he's threatening to dump you for losing weight, then he sounds like a *kitten*. He is either already looking for an easy way out of the relationship or he's a controlling individual who just wants to hold you down. Either way, you're doing this for self improvement and to take care of yourself- he's not god or your owner, therefore shouldn't be treating you like that. You're doing hard work, and should be respected (and applauded) for it!

    If it were me, I'd let him know without hesitation that if he isn't ok with me losing weight then he's free to pack his bags & start walkin'...
  • hewhoiscd
    hewhoiscd Posts: 1,029 Member
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    Is your goal within a healthy BMI for you?

    If it is, dump him. No one needs to be given ultimatums. You deserve better!

    If it isn't, maybe he is just concerned for your health.

    +1
  • tamheath
    tamheath Posts: 702 Member
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    You got some walking books? Put 'em on and hit the road.
  • cmw9696
    cmw9696 Posts: 123
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    gotta go with the new boyfriend! If he is trying to control you now with your weight, what else will he try to control?
  • Elvis1132
    Elvis1132 Posts: 2
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    If he dosent whant you i am open....
  • elfie9863
    elfie9863 Posts: 337
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    Ditch that dirtbag *kitten*...just saying...after this it would be something else...all about him...SCRAM!
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
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    Find out WHY he's against it. He might have a good reason. If he doesn't though- time for a new boyfriend.
  • orange_avocado
    orange_avocado Posts: 232
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    I'm not sure what you were seeking in posting this thread. But can't imagine you got the answer you wanted of being told to dump him.

    I agree. I think there's probably a reason why he's against you losing weight, since he had no problem with what you weighed when you first started dating. I noticed in your profile that you "want to be skinnier than my boyfriend's ex! (shhh;)" - maybe the way things ended between them could be a clue? He could be insecure because she was thin and got unwanted attention. Or maybe he's worried you won't spend time with him if you're always cooking and going to the gym. Or maybe he wants to be healthier but hasn't found the motivation yet, and feels like you taking these steps is going to force him to confront his own lifestyle.

    I went through all these things with my current boyfriend (and he put up with some of it from me!), but we talked through them and now we're both getting healthy and we're stronger than ever.

    Everyone who is telling you to just 'dump him' may be right, but if you care enough about this guy to take his opinion to heart I hope you'll sit down and have a talk with him about why he's trying to force this choice on you and where you see this relationship going. It may be that you have different goals and a break up is inevitable, but you at least owe him the chance to explain himself. And if he doesn't change his tune when you go ahead and continue your healthy lifestyle (which I hope you do!) or you find yourself looking for reasons to end the relationship, then perhaps it is time to move on.
  • Dobsaya
    Dobsaya Posts: 235
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    Sounds like he is insecure and scared if you lose weight you may just dump him. Get a head start and dump him now. Weight loss should be for yourself and no one else.
  • Dreamerlove
    Dreamerlove Posts: 441 Member
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    You should NEVER sacrifice your dreams and who you want to be for someone like that! Sweetheart there are WONDERFUL men out there, screw him!
  • NikkiDerrig386
    NikkiDerrig386 Posts: 1,096 Member
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    Ok I have to ask what is your current weight and how long have you been dating? From my experience its not the loosing weight that bothers them its the incoveince for them. My bf and I would fight all the time bc he didnt get that I couldnt eat like him. So when I went on my health kick it was a rude awakening for both of us. You learn to work with each other. If he cant work with you on it then let him walk. Also my bf doesnt even care about my lbs which makes it hard lol. I know that sounds weird that I say that but it would help if he liked me a little thinner bc them it would motivate me more. Also my bf hates "too skinny" so maybe your bf didnt look at your body when you first dated and likes the thicker you now. A lot of men prefer a thicker woman (not fat just a lil thickness).
  • acahill18
    acahill18 Posts: 6
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    is he overweight? cause he might be worried that if you lose weight and look better and he still looks the same that you might leave him. talk to him ask him why he doesnt want you losing weight. he should want you to get healthier and feel better about yourself. if he doesnt understand then its time for a new man that will treat you right! your allowed to feel the best you can feel and he should support you no matter what if he truely loves you.
    in the end do whats best for you...and getting healthy is always a good thing :)
  • FORKDOWN
    FORKDOWN Posts: 1,754
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    Sounds like he is controlling. A true BF or hubby would want what makes you happy.
  • kc4173
    kc4173 Posts: 22 Member
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    I think I needed to read that. I am in a similar situation and that balnce quote struck a note with me
  • noltes2
    noltes2 Posts: 202 Member
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    This has been said before, but I'll say it again. HE IS WORRIED THAT OTHER GUYS WILL FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE AND YOU'LL SEE THERE'S A BETTER OPTION OUT THERE!!! BECAUSE THERE IS!!! I can understand a little insecurity, we all experience that - but to give you an ultimatum? That is so selfish. He needs to support you! Good luck, let us know what you decide.

    Oh, and as someone else suggested please dig deeper and get him to admit WHY he doesnt want you to lose weight and address that issue.
  • Ra3Marie
    Ra3Marie Posts: 9
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    Get a new boyfriend! If he's not supportive dump him ! Its your health not his ... Thats so selfish of him :-( ... Leave him girl Your beautiful :-)
  • Rachelbab1230
    Rachelbab1230 Posts: 19
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    Sorry to say this, but after reading this post I have to honestly tell you THIS IS A RED FLAG!!!! This is absolutely the beginning signs of a controlling boyfriend. Any man that would threaten you like this should be a warning sign to you. Trust me......if you stay with him, it will only get worse. By losing weight it will increase your self esteem and he feels threatened by this so if you stay overweight, in his mind he will be able to control you by belittling you and crushing your self esteem so that you stay with him. I have been there, done that, and would never allow that kind of control again in my life! You are better off without someone who wants to hold you down. You have to live inside your body, don't YOU want to be happy? You should never let anyone tell you what you should or should not do with YOUR body especially if it is to better yourself.
  • kalebsmama07
    kalebsmama07 Posts: 503
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    than honey you dont need a man like that in ur life only someone who supports u in everything u wanna do! and thats the truth...

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