Ridicule at the gym?

24

Replies

  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
    No one does that at my gym, from what I've seen. I'd like to see someone do that to me so I can trade it for a dumbbell to the head :P

    My sentiments exactly. I have never seen or experienced it. I think some of the "intimidation" is in peoples perceptions and is not reality.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    I've never seen that unless it's between friends, and even so, not.
  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
    I've never seen it. I've never been party to it. I've never had anybody tell me directly that they've seen it or been party to it.

    Do I believe that it happens? Yes. But then again, the news spends way more time talking about people that win the lottery than they do about people who lose. And I'm sure that lottery odds are higher than incidents of ridicule.

    I usually go to a national franchise gym, but there's rarely more than 5 people there when I go. The only conversations I've had were:
    (a) about when a piece of equipment will be free and
    (b) 1 incident where a guy gave me friendly advice about my SL-DL form. I was appreciative... and he was right.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    I have never seen this at all... it seems like something that is self projected.

    That's what I was thinking but you wrote it so eloquently. Cheers!
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    (I like to zone out and listen to music while I lift, and he kept saying "you need to smile! You're bringing down the energy of the room!")

    GOD that is irritating. Like you need to smile every second of the day. I know what you mean, he was badly flirting but really, get a clue, right?
  • KrissyRawrz
    KrissyRawrz Posts: 342 Member
    No one does that at my gym, from what I've seen. I'd like to see someone do that to me so I can trade it for a dumbbell to the head :P

    Lol :)
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    I wish someone would try to step to me in a gym.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    Planet Fitness has already had talks with a couple of women at my gym for "Flaunting" or "Causing Distractions"

    Wow, I didn't know they did that. When I was at Planet, I saw some chicks like that, particularly one with a white, tight wife-beater and no shirt underneath. It was pretty obvious what she was there for.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Planet Fitness has already had talks with a couple of women at my gym for "Flaunting" or "Causing Distractions"

    Wow, I didn't know they did that. When I was at Planet, I saw some chicks like that, particularly one with a white, tight wife-beater and no shirt underneath. It was pretty obvious what she was there for.
    I'm wondering how someone who is just a member knows that other members have been "talked to." Sounds like a privacy violation to me.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    (I like to zone out and listen to music while I lift, and he kept saying "you need to smile! You're bringing down the energy of the room!")

    GOD that is irritating. Like you need to smile every second of the day. I know what you mean, he was badly flirting but really, get a clue, right?

    OT- I hate this soooo much... I am usually thinking of a million things at one time and smiling is the last thing on my mind.
  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,352 Member
    Does it count as intimidating behavior if the person on the treadmill in front of you farts several times? Like to the point where you have to decide if you want to smell it or taste it. If so, then yes, I've been intimidated at the gym.
  • mercurysfire
    mercurysfire Posts: 144 Member
    it happened to my husband at the ymca a couple of years ago. he was 6 months out of back surgery and finally go the nod from his surgeon to swim and that's it. he was slow, with questionable form and some other guy around his age i guess was giving him sh** for swimming. with a 4 inch angry red incision scar hanging out right above his waistband. he's 6'4 and weighed 230 at the time and has tats and piercings all over. not exactly a Ned Flanders looking kinda guy. it just crushed me to see his feelings hurt like that.

    the guy apologized for being a sh**head the next week when hubs showed up again to swim anyway.

    my point is the di**bags hang out everywhere- the gym included. just because you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't happen, it just means you don't see it happen. and it won't happen to most people or they won't be paying attention or maybe they have enough self-confidence to brush it off even.. but some people are mean and absolutely will do mean things to people. like be a s**thead at the gym.
  • wanttolose40lbs
    wanttolose40lbs Posts: 239 Member
    The only comment I've ever received at the gym was from a man who came up to me while doing tricep pull-downs. He noted that my form was a little off, and wondered if I would be ok if he suggested an improvement. I welcome those helpful comments.

    That also happened to me when I was doing deadlifts and I thanked him
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    (I like to zone out and listen to music while I lift, and he kept saying "you need to smile! You're bringing down the energy of the room!")

    GOD that is irritating. Like you need to smile every second of the day. I know what you mean, he was badly flirting but really, get a clue, right?

    OT- I hate this soooo much... I am usually thinking of a million things at one time and smiling is the last thing on my mind.
    Exactly. I have resting b*tch face anyway, and I'm fine with that. If I saw someone just randomly smiling in between sets, I would think they were a lunatic.
  • TiberiusClaudis
    TiberiusClaudis Posts: 423 Member
    I've been to literally hundreds of gyms the world over (in the USAF), logged in thousands of hrs (or so it seems) but have never seen anyone behavior poorly.

    Does it happen...I'm sure it does. But I tell people starting out all the time that you could probably jump on a machine backwards and no one would laught. Most gym goers are zonned out and focused on their own workout to notice what is going on. Then there are people like me that love to people watch...whether at the mall, beach or gym...and yea gym watching is interesting. But just because someone is watching you doesnt mean they mean you harm...simply ask them a question and dollars to donuts they will strike up a friendly conversation and then you have a new gym buddy.
  • jkterrell
    jkterrell Posts: 10 Member
    I have never had that happen to me personally - only a couple of guys that were actually hitting on me (always flattering but the gym is where I get my aggressions out so not the time to tell me I look pretty, could lift more, or that I have a banging body like a black girl - whatever that even means). I DID one time make a comment about a woman working out when I was teen and my boyfriend at the time rightly put me in my place and made me feel like the snotty dirtbag I was at that moment. Never again. I have also heard younger chicks like the teen I once was say some nasty things generally about "fatties"but they are just young and naive - they will learn and get some empathy (hopefully). I do get slightly self conscious the first couple of times back at the gym after a break but I just put my headphones on loud and lip synch on down with my bad self.
  • LeenaJean
    LeenaJean Posts: 276 Member
    I think to imply or out right say that it is all in someone's head is a bit ignorant. It depends on the situation, maybe if you are 25-50 pounds overweight no one has said anything to you, but when you are 100-200+ overweight it's a whole different ball game. Thankfully gyms are usually quick to catch this and typically it doesn't go well for the bully but by that time the damage may have already been done.
  • sadein
    sadein Posts: 40
    I've been a "gym-rat" most of my life and haven't felt intimidated. However, I don't have self-esteem problems and may have missed it. My husband on the other hand, does have some self-esteem issues and has felt intimidated in the pool. He has a broken back from a car accident and has had 2 back surgeries. He does the back-stroke, slowly and his form isn't the greatest but, for some reason swimmers seem to be more arrogant than the average gym goer.

    I have attended group fitness classes that were very unfriendly. I like group fitness in no small part because of the social element so if the class isn't welcoming, I chose another.
  • redheadmommy
    redheadmommy Posts: 908 Member
    I never experienced or seen verbal harassment/ intimidation- etc.
    However I have experienced creepy staring multiple times. I can safely say there are some degree of staring every... freaking.. time.. when I do my 15 minutes HIIT at the end of my weight session.
    I am extremely chesty and the girls bounce when I do any form of high impact cardio. I understand that man notice the view , but blunt staring make me super uncomfortable.
    I have stopped working out many times due to this unwanted attention when I was younger. Now close to 40 with 2 kids I am not as easily intimated anymore, but still a bit annoying.
    When I start my jump roping the area I am looking forwards always gets busy. I try to hide as much as I can. I never face any frequently used equipment,so it is pretty obvious when the area front of me gets busy. If I turn toward the running track, all the sudden 3-4 the older man start running/ walking on the track. If I face the rowing machines they will be used and they are never used otherwise. If I face the empty squash courts, all the sudden people start to use it for stretching...
  • mkozmik
    mkozmik Posts: 79 Member
    The only comment that I have ever heard was via my daughter. We are YMCA members and we were doing some weight training that day. A couple of guys from her class were there and she went over to talk to them.

    When we left the Y, she informed me that she didn't want to lift with me any more, because it scared the guys in her class. They had never seen a woman lift that much before. LMAO!!! I started laughing and said, "Next time you see them, tell them I said thanks for the compliment." Teenagers!

    Other than that, I've not heard anything at any of the YMCA locations in our town. Just people asking for a spot or helping each other with form.
  • Eudoxy
    Eudoxy Posts: 391 Member
    I've been to a number of gyms over the years, and have never heard anyone say anything rude, or even picked up a vibe. People are focused on themselves- more so than outside the gym.
  • mkozmik
    mkozmik Posts: 79 Member
    Does it count as intimidating behavior if the person on the treadmill in front of you farts several times? Like to the point where you have to decide if you want to smell it or taste it. If so, then yes, I've been intimidated at the gym.

    LMAO!! I apologize...that may have been me. (Guilty as charged.) My gut sometimes has a mind of it's own. ;-)
  • bkthandler
    bkthandler Posts: 247 Member
    I have belonged to a couple of gyms and visited many others. Every gym has a vibe and I have been to some that were not at all welcoming. Even at my heaviest I am in better shape that people imagine and I have gotten comments that the speaker ended up regretting. I will admit I would avoid a situation where I didn’t feel I could “compete”.

    I was a mediocre swimmer in High School but that still probably makes me a better swimmer than most people who never swam competitively, I have enjoyed watching more than one person splash themselves silly trying to keep up with me because they don’t like that I can lap them.

    The worst I have seen are “mean girls” in yoga classes who like to talk a little smack….(I am gumby level flexible so they shut up pretty quickly).

    However any of this crap pales next to the encouragement and support I have found from people who are in much better shape. Gyms where most of the people work nearby seem to be best, less lingering and gossip. Also realizing that all the guys standing behind you are actually watching Sports Center on the TV in front of you.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    Never had a bad comment directed at me, and have never heard anyone direct any negative comments toward anyone else at any of the gyms I've been to (Gold's Gym, 24 Hour Fitness, Telos Fitness, Medical center gym).

    I think it's pretty rare. I would imagine that it would happen more often someplace like a highschool/college gym or one of those gyms where you pay a ton of money and it's really more about showing up than working out.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    IN for "hard calibration".

    I'm not sure what that is, but I think I need one.
  • carolineat111
    carolineat111 Posts: 97 Member
    I'm 5'10" and 159lbs (last check, two weeks ago, probably less now). Anyways, I'm fairly small for my height. I had a guy on the elliptical next to me say "you better work harder, I've burned twice as many calories as you..."

    Now...he easily had 100lbs on me, EASILY. So as a 260+ pound guy, he was doing LESS time, LESS speed, AND LESS resistance but was (per the machine) burning more calories due to his size.

    I replied with "that's good for you though, looks like you really need it..."

    It pissed me off though, it really did lol.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Planet Fitness has already had talks with a couple of women at my gym for "Flaunting" or "Causing Distractions"

    Wow, I didn't know they did that. When I was at Planet, I saw some chicks like that, particularly one with a white, tight wife-beater and no shirt underneath. It was pretty obvious what she was there for.

    I'm pretty sure now that MFP has exposed that women do white t shirt contest behavior at Planet Fitness I should buy stock in that.
  • heybales
    heybales Posts: 18,842 Member
    Does it count when you hear the regulars talking normal loudness levels about the new year resoluters and how they are taking over the equipment and all the normal complaints that goes along with that - right in front of some of those folks?

    It's not directed specifically at a person, it's not about something specific usually, just the increased usage and negative effects to their workout. But that person would be right to take it personally if they know they do this every year for 2-3 months.

    I'll comment too about some of their bad gym etiquette to other regular's - but in private. But to me the solution isn't them leaving, though I know they drop out after normal 2-3 months, but just watching and following common sense manners. Put things back the way you found them, or back where they belong, ect.

    I have taken some of the regular's more audible remarks and turned it into what the complaint is actually about - the gym's lack of resources and not getting more, and/or the cheap price we pay for that limitation.

    But I've only seen help individually, even from regulars for the resoluters.
  • Rosiecris
    Rosiecris Posts: 5 Member
    That happened to me one time, and I never went back to that gym. I was doing my circuit and there was a size zero teenage girl there with her personal trainer who remarked loudly that I was " so gross". I was size 16, not good I know, but not exactly a bus either and i was there trying to do something about my weight. That's where people go to deal with weight issues. The only consolation is that I know someday she will be 50 years old and 300 pounds bcuz karma is like that. :)
    I joined another gym where the people are friendly and encouraging and I lost 50 pounds.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    That happened to me one time, and I never went back to that gym. I was doing my circuit and there was a size zero teenage girl there with her personal trainer who remarked loudly that I was " so gross". I was size 16, not good I know, but not exactly a bus either and i was there trying to do something about my weight. That's where people go to deal with weight issues. The only consolation is that I know someday she will be 50 years old and 300 pounds bcuz karma is like that. :)
    I joined another gym where the people are friendly and encouraging and I lost 50 pounds.

    Do you work out on the set of "mean girls" or "clueless"?

    Maybe nobody would ever have the cojones to say this in front of me but I"m only like 5'3" so I dont think that's the reason I've never ever heard something like this.

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