Ever Feel Alone No Matter How Many MFP Friends You Have?
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Hi there,
Not meaning this in a sexist way at all (so I apologise if it comes across that way), but I have been experiencing this quite a lot recently, and I thought it was because I was a guy, so it's quite refreshing to see women having the same issue.
I feel exactly the same way: The only time I seem to get feedback these days is if I get a really good burn on a gym day, but even that to this day is now starting to dwindle. I know I haven't done so, but I really feel like I have upset someone, and it's just affected things on here. I have the odd person on occasion who maybe likes when I've completed my Food and Exercise diary, but it gets rarer and rarer as time goes on. I feel very lonely sometimes, as another guy on my friends list seems to get a lot of likes and comments, and I find it quite hurtful sometimes...
There are times where I have actually just wanted to give up on this, but I really enjoy the ability to log and track my food and exercise, and I have started to notice some improvements within myself, just would be nice to have some support and encouragement...
To everyone on this post: I will more than happily motivate and encourage you all, feel free to add me, and let's complete this journey of ours together!
I know exactly how you feel, i did my journey of near 2yrs with little to no guidance, just Likes and the occasional Nice comment. and now i'm trying to help others, but we all need support whether you are done or not0 -
Nope. I have cultivated a decent list of MFP friends that don't judge, encourage if THEY want to and aren't needy.I don't expect it of them, but I appreciate it when they do comment.
Oh, and I also have real friends that are great, supportive and y'know good fun to be with.
NONE of these people can stop me from eating what I want, or force me to eat what they think I should. I have made a lifestyle choice - not for them, but for ME. So the ONLY person that can do this journey, (and fail and start again, I will freely admit) is ME.
I don't blame my friends, MFP or otherwise for being too knackered from not adjusting to shift work to exercise. It's not their fault if I decide that I'll do nothing for a week and start again next week. That's all on me.
But I DO know that when I do exercise, and I do stay within my cals, they are happy for me... and that's their "job" right there. They don't need to do anything more than that.0 -
I give support and encouragement but also expect to receive the same, if you can commit feel free to add me as a friend. You can do this you ahev already lost a lolt of weight so you ahev proved you can do it. good luck
Carol
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I feel like that IRL all the time. On here...occasionally...but I've had to realize that I ultimately can't depend on other people to get me to my goals.
This0 -
anyone feel free to add me. I am very supportive and log in daily. I think that each person uses this differently. Some are here just to log, some to get support and some to give, and then there's the awesome ones that do all three. I think there is a variety of people to make friends with it just takes time to find who and what works for you. Good luck all!0
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Well, it's only been a week...just like in real life, sometimes it takes time to actually connect with someone and form an actual relationship.
Frankly, I've never been an atta boy kind of guy here and I've never really expected or even wanted that out of my MFP friends...some rando on my friends list telling me good job for completing my food diary for the day or whatever honestly doesn't do much for me.
I've found the interactions with my friends in RE to specific questions, etc to be far more beneficial and actually engaging than the obligatory slap on the *kitten* for logging in for how many ever days or whatever.
Beyond that, ultimately this has to be about you...ultimately you have to motivate you and you have to build healthful habits...if you're relying on those around you for motivation, it's going to be tough road to ho.0 -
I am alone on here. No one really to relate to or keep me motivated. I am usually the motivator but its fine as long as they're happy and doing well then I'm okay with it.0
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Feel free to add me x0
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I understand how you feel for sure, but this is why I have chosen to not accept friend requests for the most part. If I accept someone and they turn out to be nothing but a friend collector, I just delete them.
I've just learned that I can't rely on anyone for support or motivation. I have to do that on my own.0 -
Yes, I have felt this way. I haven't cleaned out my friend list yet, but I've thought about it.0
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I ask this because I have been using MFP for about a week. I have just about 100 pounds to lose so I will be here for some time. I have made friend requests with people I felt I had a little in common with and explained that positive encouragement would go a long way in motivating me. Every day I log on, record my food, weight, etc. . . but get no feed back. Not a "Hey, good for you, you lost a pound" or "good food plan" :ohwell: . I'm working hard, I could use some support. The ones who have signed on as friends are chatting away with everyone else but don't seem to notice I'm here even though I comment on their posts :frown: .
Does anyone else feel that way? I need some real MFP friends, some people who really are interested in others and want to encourage them to reach their goals. That's the kind of friend I'll be. Are you there???
Ill be happy to support you on your journey if you want to FR me.
I never shup up
From what I am reading, you're seeking some external validation for what youre doing. That usually has to come from within
Fsunami0 -
yeppers.. its not been that long ago i cleaned up my friends list.. deleted a bunch of peeps, but im always looking for new supportive friends if anyone wants to send me a request. im here daily reading and trying to motivate my friends.. ive lost 15 lbs so far and still got a ways to go...0
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It takes time to "get to know" people on your friends list. I agree with another poster who suggested that you put something personal on your news feed. I may "like" posts, but the conversations with my friends are much broader than just hitting calorie goal or calorie burns. It's about life, lifestyle, and often fun with a great big dose of sarcasm. Put yourself out there and the friendships will come over time. I used to want approval for days logged in, calories consumed, etc. I've grown during my time on MFP and now I can pat myself on the back and get just as much satisfaction. In time, you will too. :flowerforyou:0
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I ask this because I have been using MFP for about a week. I have just about 100 pounds to lose so I will be here for some time. I have made friend requests with people I felt I had a little in common with and explained that positive encouragement would go a long way in motivating me. Every day I log on, record my food, weight, etc. . . but get no feed back. Not a "Hey, good for you, you lost a pound" or "good food plan" :ohwell: . I'm working hard, I could use some support. The ones who have signed on as friends are chatting away with everyone else but don't seem to notice I'm here even though I comment on their posts :frown: .
Does anyone else feel that way? I need some real MFP friends, some people who really are interested in others and want to encourage them to reach their goals. That's the kind of friend I'll be. Are you there???
It takes time. Making friends either online or in real life is just a process.
I can tell you that I don't comment or read my FL diary or logs hardly ever. But I am there when they share their struggles. Most of the time it's in their feed. Keeping it private from the forums.
The thing to remember is just like you everyone is working to better themselves. You just have to jump in with both feet and chat with everyone you make friends with. Post about things other than just your workouts and your food diary. It will happen but you have to put yourself out there first.
Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
My intention in saying this is not to be negative, so please don't read it that way -
I understand that encouragement is a great motivator, but if you don't have any motivation outside of that, you won't get very far.
That said, building relationships here on MFP take time, just as they would out in the "real" world. The ones who chat away have probably known each other for quite some time. It may take a bit to warm up to new faces. I'm sure none of them meant any offense or they wouldn't have accepted your friend request in the first place.
What kind of feedback are you looking for? If the only thing you post are workouts and completed food diaries, then they don't really have anything else to discuss with you.0 -
Hey I know the feeling! Feel free to add me I'm on here regularly xx0
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Great job on the weight lost. Are you just tracking your food and exercise and staying under the limit? I will be getting married in two years and want to lose 70 pounds for it! I have been looking around for weight loss aids however they are just to expensive for me, so trying this out. I am going to start tracking my food tomorrow. Congrats again on the weight lost:happy:0
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I sent you a friend request, i'm pretty new to MFP so let's motivate each other 0
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Chin up! I think what you have to keep in mind is that this journey is an individual commitment to yourself and your health.. There will be times when you will get much encouragement and support and other times that you have to grit and bare it all alone... It's a life lesson that is difficult but you have to find the will to overcome it. I think we forget sometimes that everyone has their own life challenges, events, and it may not leave room for our needs/wants/desires. When you find yourself feeling lonely, you may want to try reaching out and if one person responds, then consider it a blessing. However, you must find your own intrinsic motivation to strive for your healthy goals. No one else can encourage you the way you encourage yourself. Give it time and the journey will become more fulfilling when you continue to see positive results. Don't get discouraged by negative thoughts and keep moving forward... In time, you will find like minded individuals on the same journey but in the end, this is about you and no one else. Feel free to add me if you need the extra support and many blessings on your journey... 0
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People who never interact with me get deleted. I only need a few friends anyhow.0
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It takes time to "get to know" people on your friends list. I agree with another poster who suggested that you put something personal on your news feed. I may "like" posts, but the conversations with my friends are much broader than just hitting calorie goal or calorie burns. It's about life, lifestyle, and often fun with a great big dose of sarcasm. Put yourself out there and the friendships will come over time. I used to want approval for days logged in, calories consumed, etc. I've grown during my time on MFP and now I can pat myself on the back and get just as much satisfaction. In time, you will too. :flowerforyou:
@twijourney - that just makes too much sense. Great answer!
The key is to not "overload" people with status updates (turn off the automatic settings which say what forums your replied to etc.) Experiment with posts, leave them open ended so that people will add information. It is just like real life: it is subtle and it takes time. I would rather have 20 good friends than 100 other.
And I agree. I am responsible for my motivation etc.
Feel free to friend0 -
I keep my FL short and post all sorts of rubbish on my wall. The more I post, the more comments I get back. I find that like all things with friends the more you put in, the more you get out. Your wall is private so I cannot see what sort of things you post.0
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I have a pretty decent amount of friends on here but yeah occasionaly I feel alone BUT I tend to go AWOL weeks at a time and I can't expect my MFP friends to hang about and wait for me.
As I say to my other half who is on here, you never know what the other person is going through and you have to make it your own journey, I sometimes go months without a family member saying I have done well so why should I expect some stranger to do it?
I have made some wonderful friends here but its not just all about calories and exercise, I like to think we have other things in common.
Try talking to your MFP friends about something different and get to know them, not just as a 'liker'0 -
I have felt that way before. Feel free to add me, and Ill try to be supportive!! 0
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I have 0 friends, and I feel good, lol, but that's me. I'm a wolf, and always have been :P If it helps, I'm willing to go on this journey with you and provide motivation, but no one will be the biggest motivation to you as much as you can be. A million people can tell you you are doing great, but until you yourself believe it, you won't see it. Remember, you're running the marathon of life, others are just there to provide assistance should you fall, but only you can continue through to the finish. People are busy, and often it seems like they don't have time for you, I get that, I personally feel more alone every passing year of my life, but I'm also growing stronger and loving myself more and more each passing day. Feel free to add me, I promise to help and aid you if you need me to 0
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I actually just deleted everyone on my friends list for this very reason, I would like and leave comments and post daily, I would very very rarely receive a response of any sort, so alone on this adventure I travel.
I agree0 -
I wouldn't mind to have Mfp freinds who live near me to workout with.0
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I encourage all 4 of my friends as should everyone else. I believe in everyone and encourage all to be active. Keep up the hard work and sorry for the bad friends you have.0
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I think what we need to do is start a ground swell of positivity. Maybe if everyone would try to be positive and say something motivational every day to others it will catch on. I will make that on of my goals over the coming weeks,... To give more positive, encouraging post to random folks on MFP... (And to my Friends).. The few that I have that is. 0
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Feel free to add me. I have around 200 lbs left to lose and I'm on here everyday, I like and comment on as many updates as possible.0
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