I'm fat...

Anyone who sees me can tell that in a microsecond. Yep, I'm way,way fat. But, I'm changing.

I had no doubt I was on the fast track to an early death. 365 massive pounds at my highest. I'm not sure how I let this happen to myself. Work, stress, life. Excuse upon excuse. I had them all. I'll start losing weight tomorrow. One more cheeseburger won't make a difference... one more slice of cake. I could have made better choices than the 2-3 pizzas a week I used to eat while on the road for the old job. But I didn't. I could have exercised in all sorts of different way. But I didn't. I don't blame Domino's for making me fat. It is 100% my fault and my lack of discipline.

I've gone from bench pressing 400 lbs. and squatting over 500 pounds to barely being able to climb one flight of stairs. Disgusting. I've fallen a long way. The good thing is you can always get back up.

Well, that time is OVER. I'll be on the path for the rest of my life. This I know. I will stumble but I will not regress. If I do I'll die. I know this.

So, I've started changing my habits. Eating not just better but healthy, check. Exercise, check. Logging my calorie intake, check. It aint easy but it is getting better. I feel better.

365 lbs. on a journey to 190 lbs. This is going to take awhile. I'm down 30 lbs. in about 2 months so I am sitting at 335 lbs. now but I don't want a pat on the back. I don't deserve it.

I was asked how my diet was going the other day and the person looked puzzled when I told them I am not on a diet. This is simply a LONG overdue lifestyle change. It is hard but I am liking it. I feel so much better being down just 30 lbs. I KNOW I'll feel great when I am down 50, 75, 100... But it is a long way to go. I know what I am doing is working but not having seen the scale more for the last 2 weeks is frustrating. I'm not focused on that though because as I sit here typing this I am wearing a shirt that 2 months ago was so tight I could barely get it on. I've gone from bursting out of size 50 pants to actually being able to wear size 46 pants in public. Happy to be back in size 46 pants, my God. How sad is that?

Why did I write this? I'm not sure. I guess to remind myself that when the scale stalls and things are tough and I am craving that pizza. DON'T GIVE UP. Stay on the path. It took me 10 years to get this way, if I can get it off in 2 years I'll be happy.

Also, if I can do it anyone can do it.


  • silentKayak
    silentKayak Posts: 658 Member
    Good for you, welcome to the site. Feel free to friend me if you're looking for accountability and a kick in the butt if you stop logging in :)

    No excuses, no failure, no backtracking, no regaining. Not for me, and not for my MFP friends.
  • LeonCX
    LeonCX Posts: 862 Member
    Great post. Take it a day at a time, log your food daily. I know this sounds very generic, but it works. Hope you will write again soon.
  • persistentsoul
    persistentsoul Posts: 268 Member
    I think getting properly stuck in to losing the weight is one of the hardest things to do. As you say it so easy to just keep thinking well one more whatever wont make a difference. When very unfit and unimpressed with look it is hard to summon up the motivation to tackle the long journey to health. The goal seems so far away and the one more whatever is so close and easy.

    I am pleased with myself for finally getting going in the right direction so well done to you too. We got ourselves in to this mess so we have to put in the work to get out of it but as you say the pay off starts coming long before reaching goal weight. It feels good knowing I am doing something positive for myself and that clothes fit better and breathing gets easier.
  • throoper
    throoper Posts: 351 Member
    I'm going to give you a pat on the back anyway, because that's awesome! Keep it up!!! :drinker:
  • eddamyts
    eddamyts Posts: 26 Member
    Sounds to me like you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. Pain is a great motivator sometimes. Use it, and be kind to yourself body, mind and spirit.
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    Great attitude, I think you have what it takes!
  • lizzie14115
    lizzie14115 Posts: 77 Member
    I so relate to your post an and really wish you all the best!
    Feel free to add me..
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
    Welcome to MFP.

    I am fat too. However, I'm 51 pounds LESS fat than I was 191 days ago, lol.

    I've been asked by a family member about my 'diet'. I simply replied I'm not on a diet. This IS now my life.

    You're on the right track now, good for you!
  • Good luck - you seem to have a great attitude that will get you to your goal!
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
    Congrats on the lifestyle change. You have come to the right place for inspiration, motivation and support. Keep up the good work. I've seen some amazing stories here!
  • Awesome post :) I'm fat too! Here to make the change and glad to read that you are too.
  • VeggieGal777
    VeggieGal777 Posts: 51 Member
    Great attitude! I can really relate to this post! Good luck!!
  • Amanda4change
    Amanda4change Posts: 620 Member
    I think that it is great that you have found the motivation to make this lifestyle change! The one thing I would say is you aren't fat, you have fat. This is something that a trainer friend of mine always tells people, it's suppose to help in the way we see and feel about ourselves. Honestly I think it is a good point and I noticed that changing my line of thinking seems to help keep me motivated to keep losing the fat. I wish you the best on your journey, feel free to add me if you wish.
  • I'm with you...I'm fat, and I didn't get this way overnight.
    My current weight is 315 and I'm determined to make the changes that I've made stick this time.

    I was visiting family over the summer and during a family get together, we began talking about food and fitness, etc. I made the comment that for some reason my 2 sisters weren't blessed with the fat gene like me and I didn't understand why. What my dad said in response to that cut me to the core, he said "People like me and you will never be like people like them". He is also morbidly obese and is battling multiple health problems that are directly related to his unhealthy eating and sedentary lifestyle.
    When he said that, I just stared at him thinking to myself "I am not people like you"...but in reality, I was exactly like him.

    Luckily, the motivation I needed to make some changes was just around the corner. At work, we started a Biggest Loser 8 week challenge on Monday, September 15th. A few weeks before this started, I began changing the way I shopped for groceries and tried to ease my way into new eating habits. Then last Monday, I really began counting the calories in everything I eat and exercising daily. Part of this particular program as well is to pick 2 habits that you either want to make or break. I decided to give up sweets for 6 of 7 days out of the week and to commit to exercising 5 of 7 days a week. I'm proud to say that I haven't visited the candy jar that is in the cube right beside mine once since this challenge began and let me tell you, that is HUGE as I used to visit it 5 or 6 times in a day! I can't believe how good I have felt just by adding the exercise! I have more energy during the day and I look forward to going to the gym! Now I know I'm just getting started and this road is going to be a long one, I'm determined to be a different kind of person, a healthy one!

    Cheers to you and your progress! It's inspirational and I'm grateful you shared!
  • rpantusa
    rpantusa Posts: 267 Member
    Glad you are here and choosing to change your life, its the first step in the right direction, you sound very determined and you can do this! Good luck :smile:
  • prettyface55
    prettyface55 Posts: 508 Member
    Welcome to this amazing site. Most of the people here are friendly! Congratulations on your success so far and I am sure you will do well!! Add me!
  • ukaryote
    ukaryote Posts: 874 Member
    C5North, you rock! Hang in there, gather friends for motivation, keep logging, and yours will be one of the epic success stories!

    You have a big advantage that others might not have - you were strong and probably still have significant muscle. That will serve you well to heighten your metabolism. And yes, you DESERVE appreciation for the 10% you have shed already. (cue applause)

    Go for it, man. You have a lot of MFPeople pulling for you.
  • C5North
    C5North Posts: 50 Member
    Thanks everyone for the warm welcome.

    There is not a shadow of a doubt that I or anyone else who puts their mind to it can achieve their goals. Just don't lie to yourself about what is going? I WAS lying to myself for a long time. No longer! I'm fat, I OWN it... and I am doing something about it. Finally.

    I am convinced I was/am addicted to sugary crappy foods. We are all stronger than our cravings and urges. For me it just took being honest with myself and actively choosing a new path. No excuses, no failure, no going back. PERIOD.

    The journey of 1,000 miles begins with one step.

    Again, thanks everyone and feel free to friend me at your leisure. We are all in this together. I figure that is why we've all found this site.
  • timodawson
    timodawson Posts: 41 Member
    Feel free to add me. Started at 414lbs in January and am down 125lbs. I have about another 80lbs to go before I switch to maintenance mode.
  • C5North
    C5North Posts: 50 Member
    Feel free to add me. Started at 414lbs in January and am down 125lbs. I have about another 80lbs to go before I switch to maintenance mode.

    That is awesome. Way to go! I will join you at the maintenance weight one day!