The psychological problems of weight loss

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jlgobert
jlgobert Posts: 41 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have lost over a hundred pounds (yes i know it does not say it on my time linebut actually over 130 pounds gone). But anyway, i have lost 10 pant sizes, and i am now in a regular XL shirt instead of the 4X i was in prior to beginnig my weight loss journey. I know physically I have lost alot but when I look in the mirror I still see a fat man. It is not until I pass a mirror or window and I do not recognize the image that i feel like wow is that me. Then I will go to a mirror to see, and i see the same fat man, yes smaller but still fat. Then when I see someone and they are amazed at how small I am I feel great but I just do not see it. Do not get me wrong I love buying small clothes and I love how i feel when i can put them on, but i hate how judgemental I get about myself when I see every pudge and flab going through my shirt or whatever.I have been told I am smaller than i realize, that I actaully can buy smaller fitted clothing and that i need to stop losing weight, but I can't see it, it scares me to think about not trying to lose weight, because then i will gain it all back.and still be taht 340 pound man that i see in the mirror.

Replies

  • uconnwinsnc1
    uconnwinsnc1 Posts: 902 Member
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    Yeah we all go through it. It is awful. I empathize with you completely.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    It is normal. Be patient and give yourself some time. It gets better.
  • nicolettajade
    nicolettajade Posts: 6
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    I have never been a big person, always slim but i know what you're going through. I know you might be thinking 'she's got no idea, shes never been as big or had to go through what i have'. I have suffered from anorexia which even though i am slim and small, i obsess with the fact that i feel i could 'look better' or be even skinnier than i am. I know too how i shouldnt be thinking like this but you just can't help it. With the motivation and support from friends and family it will be a lot easier over time. I still think the same things but not nearly or not dangerously enough as i used to thanks to all the support. :)
  • Juliarosemary66
    Juliarosemary66 Posts: 64 Member
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    Hi! Well done on your fantastic weight loss! It's sad you can't see it yourself- you should be so proud of what you have accomplished! It's fantastic and you have odviously worked hard to achieve your super results. You need to believe it and be proud of yourself! You need to address your self esteem and value yourself- you deserve to give yourself that gift. I had like a personal shopper to help me dress my new shape to help me dress and feel like the slimmer person I was, I couldn't believe what I ended up buying! Also try positive affirmations to help you change your mindset- Louise hay has a good book or google! It takes time for the mind to catch up with the body! I wish you well on this stage of your journey!
  • lessismoreohio
    lessismoreohio Posts: 910 Member
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    I agree with the other posters. This is common. I've lost 60 pounds and I still see the "fatter" me at times as well.
  • cincysweetheart
    cincysweetheart Posts: 892 Member
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    I agree. Common problem. I would love to be able to see what others see. If you ever figure out the trick… let me know!
  • FanasticllyFlawed
    FanasticllyFlawed Posts: 15 Member
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    Right there with you. At my highest weight I was over 400, now I am sitting around 170 (it took 10 years, a lot of failure and some hard lessons, I only found MFP a year ago). Even though I spent years at 250, I think I will always see the 400 lb person I was. Just focus on something different rather than just weight loss. For instance, work on muscle strength or tone and use that to measure progress. I finally got to the point where I had to quit obsessing with loosing weight or I was either going to loose my mind or develop an unhealthy relationship with the gym and with food.
  • WhoWasGivenToFly
    WhoWasGivenToFly Posts: 64 Member
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    Funny, I was going to post about a similar issue. I am afraid to buy new clothes because I am afraid to see bulges and popping buttons. I am OK buying new tops but am still afraid to buy new pants.

    My current wardrobe is lose and that makes me feel like I have made progress.

    I guess its just a matter of getting over the fear and just doing it.
  • the_summer_belle
    the_summer_belle Posts: 353 Member
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    I feel the same im almost at my goal and i still see the fat me, its hard to see the new girl who went down 3 dresses sizes in 8 months who's worked her *kitten* off literally. I think it takes time just continue eating healthy working out and give yourself a little love every day say wonderful things bout yourself to yourself every day do something positive for yourself, do things the fat you would never and could never do, eventually your self esteem will rise and you'll see the man everyone else sees. Remember confidence is given to no one, alot of people who seem confident are faking it, real confidence it built by you every day eventually it will be second nature and become a part of the fabric of your very being. So keep going your doing well :)
  • jlgobert
    jlgobert Posts: 41 Member
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    thank you guys for all the comments, its good to know im not alone in this feeling. Just yesterday I got several comments and as I have said it really made me feel good like I had finally gotten to a point that I could just be proud of my achievement and stop worrying that I have not gotten to my goal yet. Well I got home got in the mirror and I still don't see it. I know its just something I have to work through, just like I had to overcome my fear of beginning this whole process, I have to overcome this also. But again thanks for the comments
  • runsld
    runsld Posts: 1
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    This is just a theory but maybe it is more about accepting your former body before you can accept the new one. You have to be able to look in the mirror and say " I am still the same person and I like who I am no matter what I weigh". You have made steps to get healthier , not to be a different person. Love yourself and bravo!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    For this reason alone, I wish I'd taken body measurements in the beginning. But at the very least, I can see proof by pulling out old pictures or remember how the huge shirt I wear to sleep in now used to be part of my normal wardrobe. Sometimes we just need reminding of how far we've really come. We look in the mirror every day so the changes don't always register. This is why others notice more than we do - they may not see us every day so the changes are much more obvious. Plus, it's pretty typical to be hyper critical of one's self.

    I know for me, the remainig spare tire bugs me the worst and keeps me from feeling like I've truly succeeded. I know I've done well and made mass improvements but the lumps and bumps still make me self conscious. I just have just remember to use that as motivation to keep going and not use it as an excuse to beat myself up and eat a cookie. :)
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    Let me know when you figure out a solution? My profile pic shows what happen my last weight loss attempt.

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