Question for ex alcohol addicts

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RotterdamNL
RotterdamNL Posts: 509 Member
in Motivation and Support
So they say the more you drink the more you get depressed.

I've been clean almost 2 weeks but it is really frikking depressing without.

I find life so boring, reality is boring, the world is evil i don't like it at all. Now in the past i would start again but im holding my own but how did you guys cope with it?

Alot of peeps say, find things to do, but even then i find those things boring and me quitting smoking doesn't add to my mood either atm.
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  • lkrisp71
    lkrisp71 Posts: 1
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    I have been sober for just over 18 years. Life can be kind of boring, but you have to find a replacement for the drinking. For me that meant AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). Have you tried it?

    I can tell you it does get better, but not without working at it.

    Running has helped me immensely - so has being a part of AA.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
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    did you quit cold turkey? It sort of sounds like a lot more is going on.....maybe someone to talk to wouldn't be a bad idea so you can deal with why you don't like the world or reality? I drank in lieu of therapy for a long time. It sucked when I realized it wasn't normal to drink just to cope with day to day. What kind of resources do you have to connect with a professional?
  • lyrical_melody
    lyrical_melody Posts: 242 Member
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    I am not personally an ex-alcoholic, but my mother was and I gave tell you what helped her. For her, it was a major struggle because she got clean from drugs and alcohol. AA helped her more then anything. Most evenings she would attend an AA meeting or meet for dinner with a friend from AA. She was always keeping her self busy...which I think is what helped her the most.

    Stay Busy
    Join AA
    Exercise (go to classes)
    Find a new Hobby

    I know it will all seem boring now, but there is another way to live without the alcohol that is also exciting.

    I wish you the best of luck.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    So they say the more you drink the more you get depressed.

    I've been clean almost 2 weeks but it is really frikking depressing without.

    I find life so boring, reality is boring, the world is evil i don't like it at all. Now in the past i would start again but im holding my own but how did you guys cope with it?

    Alot of peeps say, find things to do, but even then i find those things boring and me quitting smoking doesn't add to my mood either atm.

    Okay well, the truth is that life is hard but you make of it whatever you want.

    That said, because you say you're depressed and find life and everything "boring" it's very likely you have clinical depression that you've been self-medicating with alcohol. The problem with that is that once you stop drinking, the world is still there. You know the old adage of "No matter where you go, there you are."

    So my advice is to get yourself to an MD and find out about getting on some anti-depressant medication. You may not need it forever, but it will help get you over that hump anyway.

    Added: I see others have mentioned AA. Good idea, if you haven't already done that.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
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    I have been sober for 10 years (AA helped me attain lasting sobriety).

    When I was an active alcoholic, my life was full of chaos, drama, misery, heartache and all sorts of legal, relationship and employment problems.

    Now that I'm sober, there is very little chaos, drama and bull****. So yes, I guess my life is boring now, but it's a boring life that I enjoy. BTW, some people sat that boredom is really contentedness, happiness and serenity. I'm one of those people.
  • gregbennett1973
    gregbennett1973 Posts: 48 Member
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    I gave up the booze when I became a Christian. Life's been anything but boring since. In fact I was a much more boring person when I drank and took drugs (although I thought I was startling company).

    I wish I could encourage you to just go along to your local church, but the truth is that many of them aren't so good these days, I'm sad to say.

    So why not instead have a read of your bible. I'd start with one of Matthew, Mark, Luke or John.

    I promise you that if you started a relationship with God, your life would be both exciting and full of hope.

    Might be worth considering. Sorry if this seems preachy, but it worked for me when I was a very heavy substance abuser.

    All the best

    Greg
  • RotterdamNL
    RotterdamNL Posts: 509 Member
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    Thnx for the replies and beside AA have tried the rest but did not work for me. Had ad meds but dont know, worked for a while but the effect wears off, religion, the thing is, im like Thomas, i got too many questions and have too many doubts to practice.

    Must say life isnt supergreat either atm, was on and off homeless for about 10 years, last 2 years i have been living on a room i rent from a helping organisation (dont know the word in english) hopefull by the end of the year i finally can move to a complete house and the coming 3 years i will be doing debt repayment.

    Quit smoking cold turkey and also drinking but i must say i am not planning to drink ever again but to control it to maybe 1-2x in the months instead of every other day.

    Just hoping it is just a period that i am looking at life the way it is atm.

    ps: Greg, your photo reminds me of Alan Harper(Jon Cryer) :D
  • gregbennett1973
    gregbennett1973 Posts: 48 Member
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    ps: Greg, your photo reminds me of Alan Harper(Jon Cryer) :D

    Had to Google Jon Cryer - I guess that's a compliment, so thanks very much!

    Every blessing with your efforts to stay dry.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    Thnx for the replies and beside AA have tried the rest but did not work for me. Had ad meds but dont know, worked for a while but the effect wears off, religion, the thing is, im like Thomas, i got too many questions and have too many doubts to practice.

    Must say life isnt supergreat either atm, was on and off homeless for about 10 years, last 2 years i have been living on a room i rent from a helping organisation (dont know the word in english) hopefull by the end of the year i finally can move to a complete house and the coming 3 years i will be doing debt repayment.

    Quit smoking cold turkey and also drinking but i must say i am not planning to drink ever again but to control it to maybe 1-2x in the months instead of every other day.

    Just hoping it is just a period that i am looking at life the way it is atm.

    ps: Greg, your photo reminds me of Alan Harper(Jon Cryer) :D

    It's tough for anyone to go through what you're dealing with, so don't feel badly that you're struggling. I think it's amazing that you've made so much progress and you should be proud of yourself. I really would suggest that you go check out an AA meeting or two or three - there are many that are not religious even if they follow the 12 steps (my ex's group used to call their higher power 'doorknob') and I think you'd be able to meet people who could really identify with your situation and help sort all those feelings.
  • ksemir
    ksemir Posts: 2 Member
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    Hi,i am new here:).And i,ve been sober for nearly 2 weeks(not the first time thou).hat i know from the therapy,that first two weeks are very depresing.

    Retreating phase (from day 0 to 15 days)The level of neurotransmitters decreases rapidly when we stop drinking.
    This is the initial phase is called phase sobriety retreat. Then experience a series of very unpleasant symptoms, such as withdrawal (mistakenly called a hangover), depression, mood swings, sleep disorders and other health problems.

    Honeymoon Phase (16-45)
    After completion of phase retreat back to the production of brain neurotransmitters with redoubled strength (as if trying to catch up;)) This period is called honeymoon - then feel relief after past torment, is, well, full of energy and optimism, euphoria are common. Normally, if excessively engage in work, taking on too much confidence, but also fall into boredom, because the outside world does not share our enthusiasm and keeps us step;)

    Phase Wall (46-120)
    After a month of honey brain tries to restore the production of neurotransmitters to the correct level, what we perceive as their decline - besets us depression, apathy, low energy. We can not organize their lives, we often have family problems, we feel lonely, we lowered mood. This is the most difficult period of sobriety Phase Wall, which occurs very frequently return to drinking :(
    Phase Adjustment (121-180)
    The next phase of sobriety - even at a stable level of neurotransmitters in the brain - is the Adaptation Phase. We then have difficulties in interpersonal relations, we feel the lack of job satisfaction, lack of goals. Sober life begins to seem boring to us.

    Phase Solutions (180-360)
    The next phase, the closing year of sobriety is a Phase Solutions. Then we begin to return to normal, but still feel the mental and emotional discomfort - digest the guilt we experience depressive states, we get angry.

    I hope i could help,and most of all u could undertand that ( i translate from the polish web,with a little help of google :)) )

    So continue what u are doing,trust me i,ve been there and it,s get better.Good luck
  • maoribadger
    maoribadger Posts: 1,837 Member
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    I have no advice but my husband is going through same thing and I just wanted to wish you every strength on your journey. It takes bravery to start over x
  • laurenjill
    laurenjill Posts: 94 Member
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    If AA isn't really your thing, look into Smart Recovery. http://www.smartrecovery.org It's a secular alternative to AA.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
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    I agree with the previous poster who is in recovery who said that maybe your life feels "boring" because addicts/alcoholics tend to live in chaos and drama. Maybe you just need some time to get used to the fact that "normal" is a little "boring" and that's not a bad thing. Maybe you can reframe "boring" by changing your label to "calm," "peaceful," or "purposeful" instead.
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
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    Just remember: You quit for a reason.
    Duh!
    You probably felt bored or down sometimes before too, and that is why you picked up the drinks. It obviously did not work.
    Give it some time for adjustment and don't panic. Change is sometime uncomfortable. But we need to do it.
    Signed,
    Over 35 years sober.
  • RotterdamNL
    RotterdamNL Posts: 509 Member
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    Hi,i am new here:).And i,ve been sober for nearly 2 weeks(not the first time thou).hat i know from the therapy,that first two weeks are very depresing.

    Retreating phase (from day 0 to 15 days)The level of neurotransmitters decreases rapidly when we stop drinking.
    This is the initial phase is called phase sobriety retreat. Then experience a series of very unpleasant symptoms, such as withdrawal (mistakenly called a hangover), depression, mood swings, sleep disorders and other health problems.

    Honeymoon Phase (16-45)
    After completion of phase retreat back to the production of brain neurotransmitters with redoubled strength (as if trying to catch up;)) This period is called honeymoon - then feel relief after past torment, is, well, full of energy and optimism, euphoria are common. Normally, if excessively engage in work, taking on too much confidence, but also fall into boredom, because the outside world does not share our enthusiasm and keeps us step;)

    Phase Wall (46-120)
    After a month of honey brain tries to restore the production of neurotransmitters to the correct level, what we perceive as their decline - besets us depression, apathy, low energy. We can not organize their lives, we often have family problems, we feel lonely, we lowered mood. This is the most difficult period of sobriety Phase Wall, which occurs very frequently return to drinking :(
    Phase Adjustment (121-180)
    The next phase of sobriety - even at a stable level of neurotransmitters in the brain - is the Adaptation Phase. We then have difficulties in interpersonal relations, we feel the lack of job satisfaction, lack of goals. Sober life begins to seem boring to us.

    Phase Solutions (180-360)
    The next phase, the closing year of sobriety is a Phase Solutions. Then we begin to return to normal, but still feel the mental and emotional discomfort - digest the guilt we experience depressive states, we get angry.

    I hope i could help,and most of all u could undertand that ( i translate from the polish web,with a little help of google :)) )

    So continue what u are doing,trust me i,ve been there and it,s get better.Good luck
    Ok i am looking forward to the honeymoon phase :laugh: but thanks for the insight.

    Hmm the reason i quit, well.. dont take me wrong, i love being tipsy and if it wasnt bad for your health i would love to feel like that everyday, however, when i drank, i drink alot, bottle of whiskey, couple beers etc when i go so deep i cant sleep and i feel like total **** the next day.

    Broken from not sleeping but also irregular heartbeats, fear, now that i got really tired off, not the drinking itself, plus i gained alot of fat and that all together i got tired of those things.

    Currently i am very moody and explosive and alot of small things irritate me but i assume its just a phase.

    Thnx for all the great replies :flowerforyou:
  • caitlinmichelle33
    caitlinmichelle33 Posts: 14 Member
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    Hey! I know I'm kind of late on the thread but I've been where you're at as well & I think the key for myself was accepting the fact that it IS going to be boring in the beginning compared to all the drama of getting loaded. However, the stability & calm that I initially hated are some of the things that I love about my life now. It's nice to not have fights or constantly be f*cking things up lol. It just takes time. Hang in there! AA is what helped me even though I initially thought it was a cult. Today I have a little over 4 years off drugs & alcohol :) Now to just start eating better...
  • RotterdamNL
    RotterdamNL Posts: 509 Member
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    Not late at all :) im off the drugs for 4 yrs now, alcohol.. as i said, not planning to stop with it completely just alot less, doing everything at once atm, no smoking, no drinking and no snacking, guess thats why im cranky lol.

    When i drank i always did it at home and then im just in my own little world, alternate state of mind and for a small amount of time eveything is so more vivid and spiritual. Not its just plain reality and im already high sensitive so dont like reality at all even though we cant change it it sucks.
  • Texnell
    Texnell Posts: 20 Member
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    I agree. Bordom for some might be contentedness. Serinity could be happiness.
  • adge1475
    adge1475 Posts: 77 Member
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    Had 1.5 years, relapsed, now I'm at 7 months.
    I don't know if it gets less boring, but I hope it does, because some days I want to vibrate out of my own skin and I'm irritated with everyone around me who doesn't understand. NA has helped me get out of my own head. My biggest problems were an inability to identify my triggers and an unwillingness to live outside my own selfishness.
    I absolutely get feeling cranky! But I've started volunteering a lot, working for a non-profit and trying to genuinely listen to people when they talk. The more I let myself care about other people, the quieter my own BS seems.
  • nicknpick
    nicknpick Posts: 12 Member
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    I'm also trying to clean my life of alcohol. I've been sober a week, and am in the same boat as you. I find myself board very easily. For me, drinking was such a big part of my life I have to find other things to fill in the time wasted on it. I sure hope it gets better. I didn't realize how board I would be! Let's just say my house is extremely clean lol. Just hoping the boredom doesn't lead to relapse. Good luck to you!

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