is "fat" derogatory?

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Replies

  • hoyalawya2003
    hoyalawya2003 Posts: 631 Member
    Being offended is a sign you need to be offended some more.

    No, it's not. There isn't a "feeling offended" immunity you build up.

    I don't understand why people aren't more concerned with being kind. I try to avoid offending people whenever I can, because WHY NOT? Is there some weird sense of pride one gets when being offensive? I genuinely don't get it. You're rendering another person's feelings invalid when you tell them that getting offended is dumb, weak, silly, etc, which is a ****ty thing to do.

    If we walked around with the mindset that we shouldn't say anything that could ever possibly offend anyone, it would be a pretty silent world. Good luck with that.

    That is a ridiculous statement. There is a world of room between "afraid of offending anyone, ever" and "being an obnoxious @rse who is intentionally offensive." I think being polite and respectful is a happy medium, and it requires taking into account another's emotional reactions.
  • tabicatinthehat
    tabicatinthehat Posts: 329 Member
    I'll use it to describe myself but honestly I have no business using it in reference to anyone else here.
  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
    If I wanted you to put words in my mouth, I would have bent over for you.

    I keep reading this but I still don't understand it. Are you saying the words would come out of your *kitten*?

    I.... I don't get it.
  • JohnBuscus
    JohnBuscus Posts: 9 Member
    No, it's not. There isn't a "feeling offended" immunity you build up.

    I don't understand why people aren't more concerned with being kind. I try to avoid offending people whenever I can, because WHY NOT? Is there some weird sense of pride one gets when being offensive? I genuinely don't get it. You're rendering another person's feelings invalid when you tell them that getting offended is dumb, weak, silly, etc, which is a ****ty thing to do.

    You don't understand a lot of things. I don't mind, you don't mind. I've got a mind, you don't. Be offended.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    If I wanted you to put words in my mouth, I would have bent over for you.

    I keep reading this but I still don't understand it. Are you saying the words would come out of your *kitten*?

    I.... I don't get it.

    Think puppet. Where you put the hand to create the words.......
  • RockstarWilson
    RockstarWilson Posts: 836 Member
    okay, people. Regardless of the name, if you get offended by it, it is because you have a character flaw.

    What about bacon? Can we call bacon fat? Would bacon get offended? We all love bacon. MY BACON IS NOT FAT!!!





    (see what I did there?)
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    No, it's not. There isn't a "feeling offended" immunity you build up.

    I don't understand why people aren't more concerned with being kind. I try to avoid offending people whenever I can, because WHY NOT? Is there some weird sense of pride one gets when being offensive? I genuinely don't get it. You're rendering another person's feelings invalid when you tell them that getting offended is dumb, weak, silly, etc, which is a ****ty thing to do.

    You don't understand a lot of things. I don't mind, you don't mind. I've got a mind, you don't. Be offended.

    If you were trying to offend me........swing and a miss I'm afraid.
  • JohnBuscus
    JohnBuscus Posts: 9 Member
    ur hurtin bby admit it
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    I'm hurting in that I'm sore from my weight lifting this AM, but not because you say I don't have a brain. I mean, obviously I'm braining right now.
  • KristyMayhem331
    KristyMayhem331 Posts: 189 Member
    Since there's always someone who's offended... I tend to just not care and do what I want.

    ^^ This :drinker:
  • LadyHobbledehoy
    LadyHobbledehoy Posts: 91 Member
    In response to those who had a problem with my statement(s):

    I was speaking in terms of subject matter as a whole, not about a certain word in particular. My point is that I don't think anyone should have to walk on eggshells all the time, just in case even a certain topic is brought up that may "offend" someone. Some people are offended just at the mention of a subject. Example, the moment the word "God" comes out of my mouth, someone may be offended. (It has happened before.) Should I not talk about God, or politics, or any kind of beliefs because my views may offend someone? That's what I mean. I know there are mean things to say, and nice things to say. I'm not an idiot, contrary to what some of you assumed of me. However, doing nothing but coddling people becomes both tiring and detrimental in the long run.

    I think some of you, for one reason or another (I have no idea why), are assuming that we say EVERYthing we think. I think before I speak all the time. People don't say everything that is on their mind. If it's mean, in my opinion, I won't say it. No one says everything they think, even in terms of something nice. "Oh, she's pretty. I have to go tell her."..."Oh, his hair is messy and his breath stinks. I need to point that out." Who does that?

    I can't remember who said it, but the fact that YOU can say something but no one else can? Yeah, that's fair for everyone else.

    My original point was that if someone is fat, they are fat. IN MY OPINION, using the word fat to describe someone shouldn't be seen as derogatory.
  • JohnBuscus
    JohnBuscus Posts: 9 Member
    I'm hurting in that I'm sore from my weight lifting this AM, but not because you say I don't have a brain. I mean, obviously I'm braining right now.

    Oi minds n brains a whole different sort ya lil jelly warbler
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    In response to those who had a problem with my statement(s):

    I was speaking in terms of subject matter as a whole, not about a certain word in particular. My point is that I don't think anyone should have to walk on eggshells all the time, just in case even a certain topic is brought up that may "offend" someone. Some people are offended just at the mention of a subject. Example, the moment the word "God" comes out of my mouth, someone may be offended. (It has happened before.) Should I not talk about God, or politics, or any kind of beliefs because my views may offend someone? That's what I mean. I know there are mean things to say, and nice things to say. I'm not an idiot, contrary to what some of you assumed of me. However, doing nothing but coddling people becomes both tiring and detrimental in the long run.

    I think some of you, for one reason or another (I have no idea why), are assuming that we say EVERYthing we think. I think before I speak all the time. People don't say everything that is on their mind. If it's mean, in my opinion, I won't say it. No one says everything they think, even in terms of something nice. "Oh, she's pretty. I have to go tell her."..."Oh, his hair is messy and his breath stinks. I need to point that out." Who does that?

    I can't remember who said it, but the fact that YOU can say something but no one else can? Yeah, that's fair for everyone else.

    My original point was that if someone is fat, they are fat. IN MY OPINION, using the word fat to describe someone shouldn't be seen as derogatory.

    Just to be clear, I was responding directly to the comment you posted to me, not your original post. Everyone has the right to think certain words are okay and certain words aren't. I don't care if someone calls me fat - but I know lots of people feel differently.

    And to further explain myself, I avoid using language that is widely accepted as offensive. In *my opinion* everyone should - and it's not walking on eggshells, it's good manners.

    I also do not think most people say whatever comes to mind, whenever it comes to mind - but I don't understand people's resistance to avoid words that are commonly known to be offensive. That was the point of my post.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    I'm hurting in that I'm sore from my weight lifting this AM, but not because you say I don't have a brain. I mean, obviously I'm braining right now.

    Oi minds n brains a whole different sort ya lil jelly warbler

    As tempting as a monism vs dualism debate with you would be, I'll have to pass.
  • mswoodsy
    mswoodsy Posts: 91 Member
    I use the terms fat or obese though I prefer fat. It's just a physical descriptor like tall, short, skinny, fair, dark, etc. I HATE it when people will say things like "oh don't say that about yourself, you're not fat" UH YES I AM and it is not a negative thing to say so. Now if someone is using "fat" as an insult that's a different story, but on its own there is nothing wrong with the term FAT.

    Oh man, I can relate! People used to tell me when I was prego "you're not fat, you're supposed to be getting bigger!".

    Really? Cuz I gained like 70lbs of NOT baby. Thanks guys.
  • RockstarWilson
    RockstarWilson Posts: 836 Member
    Irony:

    People in a board divulging into how people perceive a certain arrangement of letters to be an unintentional insult.....are purposefully insulting each other in the board because of their own perceptional differences.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Since there's always someone who's offended... I tend to just not care and do what I want.

    I agree to an extent, but I think it is an a-hole move to call someone fat and then claim that they are being too sensitive. I mean, people can say whatever they want, but we all know that certain behaviors are simply crossing the line. And I am not referring to the OP or you specifically. Just speaking about people in general.
  • LoneWolfRunner
    LoneWolfRunner Posts: 1,160 Member
    It is like calling someone old or bald or short etc
    Hey! I'm all three and that hurt my feelings.
  • nxiety
    nxiety Posts: 84 Member
    I don't have a problem with the word. Like everything else it's all in how you use it. Even then, I couldn't care less.
  • MKEgal
    MKEgal Posts: 3,250 Member
    Aside from that we're taught from a young age that fat is bad, and fat is not what we want to be. So even if we are considered obese many of us don't want to give ourselves that label. We're plump, curvy, "more to love", chubby, husky, plus-sized, large, etc.
    Honestly, I don't really get it. Like, you can call me fat if you want. I know what my body is like, and being called fat or skinny doesn't change anything. I think as long as you aren't using the word in a hateful manner it shouldn't be offensive.
    I usually call the "large" blood pressure cuff the fat cuff, 'cause that's what it is.
    I call myself fat because I am. It's a simple statement of fact.
    If someone were using it to try to be hurtful, I'd react differently, but to the intent not the word.
    It's the same word, and the truth is the same.
    But now I could also laugh at the person trying to hurt me & say, "you should have seen me last year when I was 60 lb heavier!".
    (Yeah, so I'm rounding up. Sue me.)
    phat
    No, that's statistics.
  • LadyHobbledehoy
    LadyHobbledehoy Posts: 91 Member
    In response to those who had a problem with my statement(s):

    I was speaking in terms of subject matter as a whole, not about a certain word in particular. My point is that I don't think anyone should have to walk on eggshells all the time, just in case even a certain topic is brought up that may "offend" someone. Some people are offended just at the mention of a subject. Example, the moment the word "God" comes out of my mouth, someone may be offended. (It has happened before.) Should I not talk about God, or politics, or any kind of beliefs because my views may offend someone? That's what I mean. I know there are mean things to say, and nice things to say. I'm not an idiot, contrary to what some of you assumed of me. However, doing nothing but coddling people becomes both tiring and detrimental in the long run.

    I think some of you, for one reason or another (I have no idea why), are assuming that we say EVERYthing we think. I think before I speak all the time. People don't say everything that is on their mind. If it's mean, in my opinion, I won't say it. No one says everything they think, even in terms of something nice. "Oh, she's pretty. I have to go tell her."..."Oh, his hair is messy and his breath stinks. I need to point that out." Who does that?

    I can't remember who said it, but the fact that YOU can say something but no one else can? Yeah, that's fair for everyone else.

    My original point was that if someone is fat, they are fat. IN MY OPINION, using the word fat to describe someone shouldn't be seen as derogatory.

    Just to be clear, I was responding directly to the comment you posted to me, not your original post. Everyone has the right to think certain words are okay and certain words aren't. I don't care if someone calls me fat - but I know lots of people feel differently.

    And to further explain myself, I avoid using language that is widely accepted as offensive. In *my opinion* everyone should - and it's not walking on eggshells, it's good manners.

    I also do not think most people say whatever comes to mind, whenever it comes to mind - but I don't understand people's resistance to avoid words that are commonly known to be offensive. That was the point of my post.


    Personally, I do not use foul language in public. Neither do I -ever- speak like that around my kids. Like you said, there are some words that more of the majority of people see as offensive. I'm just saying that, in my own opinion, the word "fat" isn't considered one of those words for me personally. This was purely an opinion thread. I'm just stating mine. If I find a word offensive, I don't use it. At the same time, though, someone else may not find it offensive at all, and they say it. I may not like it, but I don't ever expect anyone to cater to my dislike of a word (no matter how awesome that would be. Haha).

    No bigs. I just wanted to re-iterate really where my mind is. I may have been a little too...blunt or seemingly callous, but I really am not a negative person. I just get defensive when someone attacks my opinion (as anyone would).
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    I like it when they say "curvy" instead of fat.
    I don't really get this one. You can be curvy and thin, or boxy and heavy, or curvy and heavy, or boxy and thin. To me, curvy means shapely and shapely means lots of variations in circumference at different parts of the body. Curvy to me means voluptuous which a woman can be at any weight depending on her hips and bust.

    I think for the word fat... I suppose it depends on who you're saying it to, about, and the context. When my close friend says she's fat - she means it in a depressing way so I find it offensive when she says it. My other close friend always giggles and means it in a happy way, so it's not offensive. Both women use it to talk about themselves. Personally, I feel like "fat" means the same as anything in the overweight or above category. I feel like the word "chubby" works in the very low overweight or upper healthy weight range because these words are describing appearances not numbers.

    I personally wouldn't take offense to being called fat - I would just think that person was off their rocker - I be like "uhh... what are you trying to compare me to?" UNLESS I can tell they meant it maliciously.
  • tabicatinthehat
    tabicatinthehat Posts: 329 Member
    "Curvy" used in place of "fat" gets on my nerves. Those two are not the same.
  • RockstarWilson
    RockstarWilson Posts: 836 Member
    I like it when they say "curvy" instead of fat.
    I don't really get this one. You can be curvy and thin, or boxy and heavy, or curvy and heavy, or boxy and thin. To me, curvy means shapely and shapely means lots of variations in circumference at different parts of the body. Curvy to me means voluptuous which a woman can be at any weight depending on her hips and bust.

    I think for the word fat... I suppose it depends on who you're saying it to, about, and the context. When my close friend says she's fat - she means it in a depressing way so I find it offensive when she says it. My other close friend always giggles and means it in a happy way, so it's not offensive. Both women use it to talk about themselves. Personally, I feel like "fat" means the same as anything in the overweight or above category. I feel like the word "chubby" works in the very low overweight or upper healthy weight range because these words are describing appearances not numbers.

    I personally wouldn't take offense to being called fat - I would just think that person was off their rocker - I be like "uhh... what are you trying to compare me to?" UNLESS I can tell they meant it maliciously.

    dont know what you ladies are talking about....curvy means you got big boobs and a nice *kitten*.
  • natashahintz23
    natashahintz23 Posts: 4 Member
    I would rather call myself fat than obese, but I notice that my friends get mad when I call myself fat. i dont say it in a bad way but I think that it just has a bad reputation. I know I am fat and I am making changes to change that. I don't like calling myself husky or big so i think it all depends on the person.
  • PrincessEliNa
    PrincessEliNa Posts: 524 Member
    One of my best friends (From France) refers to us as "Fat kids"... I think it's hilarious.
  • cincysweetheart
    cincysweetheart Posts: 892 Member
    I don't mind saying I have fat arms (or any other body part). Or that I have a lot of body fat. I don't mind the expression "feeling fat" or "looking fat." I still have a hard time with "I am (or worse… you are) fat." There is just a very different feeling behind it.

    I think it's all context. When someone says they had fat arms or they are feeling fat…it's just a statement of fact. When someone says "I am (or you are) fat" is almost always an insult. It may still be a fact… but there is a very different feeling behind it.

    Admit it… there is a very different feeling behind it when someone (even a kid) says "gosh, you're tall." versus "gosh, you're fat."
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,302 Member
    Words have connotations - describing oneself as fat - not a problem. Saying the word fat in context of fat content in food - not a problem.

    Describing someone else as fat IRL usually has negative connotations - even if some think it is just stating a fact.
    I would never use it to describe somebody else, any more than I would use n igger and try to claim it was just a descriptive word.

    There is a world of difference between describing somebody as a fat n igger and as a large African person.
  • FindingAmy77
    FindingAmy77 Posts: 1,268 Member
    I would rather be called fat than obese. I hate that word. it sounds way worse than fat. My opinion on this subject is that saying anything derogatory about someone else or yourself is not healthy or nice. You are not fat, you have fat. there is a difference. you are a person with lots of great qualities... putting a negative label on someone in regards to their health and physical appearance is no way to describe someone in relation to what or who they are. THat is my opinion on it. :wink: