How to deal with the "one-upper"?

Copy and paste this post, as if it were someone else, and leave it around for her to see. (Unless, of course, her bOObs get in the way!)

If it were me, just because I AM quite the tool, I would buy a small wipe board and make a 'YOU' and 'ME' column. When she starts the obnoxious trend, put a hash mark in her column, and say, "Oh, you got me beat...((( AGAIN! )))

Every time she one ups you, just say "FANTASTIC!!" using the well-known language of sarcasm (I speak it fluently...you?)!!

Good luck!

Oh, by the way, it isn't ME, is it?? :noway:

UGH!! I detest people like that. :frown:

I have a friend. We all call him Topper, Which he thinks means Top, as in like a first sergeant. But actually its Topper as in the character from the Dilbert comic strip who always had to one up everyone even if it meant sounding ridiculous.True story
Sam, " Im going out on a date with a really hott girl tonight"
Topper, "I went out on a date with a supermodel last week but I had to dump her because she was too clingy."

Basically it is insecurity manifested. Don't let it infuriate you, instead you should feel sincere pity and compassion that this woman thinks what makes or breaks a person is the external qualities.

I would not meet up with her & do your best not to respond to her. Keep making excuses (unless you are brave enough to say why you don't want to see her - she'll get the message)
Life is too short to have people in your life that drain you (unless you work with this person, then it's a bit harder!!!)

I HAD one in my life (she no longer works where I do)!

I had a customer at my counter who I knew was undergoing chemo and was responding when I asked her how she was feeling. She was mid-sentence when the co-worker butted in and began to tell us how STRONG SHE WAS when SHE underwent a more DRASTIC chemo for her more SEVERE cancer. OMG! :noway: REALLY? The customer and I just sat there with our mouths haning open in complete disbelief.

Your one-upper probably does it to everyone in her life. Next time just smile while you remember how sad it is that she feels the need. :ohwell:

Firstly, let me say that I have a very mean/evil streak. I used to have a one-upper in my life. Now, I'm 3000 miles away, thank God. She was absolutely ridiculous. It started when we were children and only got worse as she became an adult. Eventually, I got so sick of it, and the fact that everyone was falling for her crap, that I decided to make her sound even more ridiculous. Instead of talking about anything that could make her sound better when she one-upped me, I would talk about things that could only make her sound worse.

Me "Dude, I am so fat I can hardly tie my shoes." (true at the time)
Her "Well, I'm so fat I have trouble wiping my butt." (not sure if that was true as I never checked)

Me "Jeez, I'm so clumsy I burned my hand on the oven just looking at the chicken."
Her "Yeah? Well I fell into a moving car yesterday because I tripped over my own feet."
Seriously, she said that.

Me "Yuck, I forgot to wear deodorant. I stink so badly I can't stand myself!"
Her "I haven't showered in two days and my butt stinks so bad my boyfriend won't come near me."
Yes, she did go there.

Now, I know it's not a nice thing to do to someone. I was not in a good place at the time, but it did give me some strange, sick pleasure. I was not a nice person! :devil: Now, I can avoid talking to her because we're on different continents, but I have decided to just say to her "You win." any time she feels she must have to do better. Obviously, she's insecure and it's too much wasted energy if I allow things like that to bother me. I'm sure it won't be easy, as I am very highly strung, but I'm trying to be normal lately. :laugh:

P.S. I almost said "Oh yeah, well my one-upper is worse than yours."

OMG this is very interesting my Mother and sister have done this my entire life I keep my healthy distance from them because they have a way to "top" everything. My sister has done this in every aspect. Just a word of caution be very very careful about advice/suggestions from these type of people becuase their sole purpose in life is to be "better" than you to compete, as opposed to generally wanting good for their loved ones they see everything as a chance to build themselves at others expense. Remember also these are super super insecure people..thats why they do what they do ..GOOD LUCK

XIO

Remember also these are super super insecure people..thats why they do what they do ..GOOD LUCK

XIO

I agree.

runningneo122 I tip my cap to your wise words :flowerforyou:

Ditto. Well said runningneo

If all else fails accidently " bump" into her balloons with a pin ... and watch her self-esteem and boobs deflate before your very eyes..JK LOL

Life is too short to have people in your life that drain you

I totally agree with this - if this is the case with your own one-upper then if you are not able to smile at them for being so under-developed as an adult to need to do this (a form of pity if anything) then best find a way to not be around them.

"That's nothing, I had two root canals yesterday without Novocain!"

funnily enough I myself actually did have two root canals without Novocain, but this was years ago when I was a buddhist monk - I was attempting to transcend dental medication

:P

I had a patient that had really big gall stones taken out. As I was showing them to her she said, it doesn't matter, no matter how big they were my aunt will say her's were bigger.

I went out to the lot and picked up some really big rocks and put them in a specimen container which I labeled with the patients name and we put them at her bedside. The aunt never said a thing, just keep glancing at them, we had a great laugh later.

The strategy that works best for me in these situations is to simply laugh at them. Once I realize they are a one-upper, it takes all the validation out of anything they say. I once had a one-upper in my life that got so crazy, the things she would say to 'one-up' the conversation could not, under any circumstances have been real. After that, she became comical.

Turn the game around, so when she one-ups someone, you get a point. If she one-ups you, you get two points. Soon, she will be a source of amusement.

I could totally hang out with you. You're like my twin!! LOL. This is exactly what I would do and the game is hysterical. I bet people who hang out with you laugh a lot with you.
We have a one-upper friend (my husband's friend) and we have slowly but surely tried to weed him out. It gets annoying when you want to share something exciting and then they pop your bubble with a "so, I did XXX one time"

Just smile and move on. The one-upper tends to be someone who's self-worth is low, and has to constantly validate their lives to others, and mostly to themselves. If it makes you feel any better, if the one-upper is validating themselves to you, it follows that they think you have worth. If they didn't they wouldn't bother trying to "establish themselves in your ranks," if you will.

Start coming up with more and more outrageous things for her to one up.

You "Oh, I had really bad toothache. I was in so much pain."

Miss Not Nice Fake Boobs "That's nothing, I had two root canals yesterday without Novocain!"

You "I climbed the local mountain recently. I was pleased that I could do it.

MNNFB "I climbed Mr Everest and gave the Sherpa advice on how to carry my bags better. They complimented me on my flawless Nepalese."

You "I think I saw a UFO yesterday"

MNNFB "That's nothing, I was probed three times last week by the green aliens, blue rock aliens, and the humanoid aliens. They asked me to be their queen but I told them that Earth needed me too much."

================

Seriously, start coming up with slightly outrageous things and right down on a piece of paper 2 to 4 things that she might say to outdo you. Keep score. Make it a game that only you can win.

"make it a game that only you can win"

Excellent advice, my friend. Not to mention hilarious. And it's a nice way to divert aggression. :glasses:

p.s., I literally L-O-L'ed @ "flawless Nepalese"