How to approach someone at the gym?

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jessicagrieshaber
jessicagrieshaber Posts: 167 Member
in Getting Started
So I just moved to the northern suburbs of Chicago about 5 months ago for a new job. The first thing that I did was join a gym, which I've been attending religiously (5-6 days a week).

Anyways, as you can imagine, it's been hard to meet people out here all by myself. There are SO many people that I would like to talk to at the gym, but I don't want to bother anyone if they're in the zone.

Is there a good way to approach someone and start conversation at the gym? Or should I just forgo it entirely?

Thanks in advance.
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Replies

  • _BearNecessities_
    _BearNecessities_ Posts: 432 Member
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    Well, depends on the motivation. Are you trying to talk to other women and make friends? Talk to guys and make friends? Talk to guys to try and find someone you might be interested in? I think the answer may very well be different depending on what you are looking for.
  • jessicagrieshaber
    jessicagrieshaber Posts: 167 Member
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    Well, depends on the motivation. Are you trying to talk to other women and make friends? Talk to guys and make friends? Talk to guys to try and find someone you might be interested in? I think the answer may very well be different depending on what you are looking for.
    I was mostly geared just towards meeting people (male or female) and making friends, and the gym seemed like a good starting point since clearly we would have something in common.
  • mundaycarroll
    mundaycarroll Posts: 64 Member
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    I don't normally talk to people at the gym unless they are giving me advice or helping with correcting form. I think the only time I do start a convo with someone is if I'm in the locker room and think one of the other girls' shoes are cute. I'm that person that if I think you have on something cute I'm going to tell you. I don't know if this helps you any.
  • jennifurballs
    jennifurballs Posts: 247 Member
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    Give it a while. People, men and women, have started approaching me lately, once they've seen me there for several weeks. I usually enjoy the interaction except for this morning. This chick, whom I've actually admired because she works out like a beast, introduced herself and told me she'd noticed how hard I work and asked how much weight I'd lost. Then she started trying to sell me some shake/vitamin/personal training package. I'm almost halfway to my goal on my own so I'd be pretty stupid to go spending a bunch of money I don't need to spend, but she just wouldn't give up. I HATE annoying sales people!!!
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,679 Member
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    BETWEEN SETS
  • funchords
    funchords Posts: 413 Member
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    I was thinking about this -- I see a lot of the same people every week but we never talk. I hate to be discouraging, but when I'm working out, the last thing I want to do is be social. When I'm done, I'm on a bee-line out. But if you do this, then

    1) Don't interrupt someone who appears to be circuit training. Short breaks may be timed breaks. They're trying to keep their heart rate in a zone.

    2) Hit someone up after their last set but before the locker room or perhaps after they've dressed back into street clothes.

    3) Look for other people being social already, its a safe bet that you're not interrupting.

    4) Use your being new as the ice breaker. "Hey, I see you here all the time. I moved here 5 months ago, can you recommend a dry cleaner, doctor, dentist, dog groomer, etd.?"

    5) Before or after a fitness class is also an approachable time.
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
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    "Hey, can you spot me?" works pretty well for me. Except on squats.

    Honestly, I've had conversations with many people in the gym from those 5 words. Several of them chat with me briefly when I'm there pretty regularly. However, it never goes more than a couple minutes. Most people are there to work out and get out.

    Have you considered a meet-up for something athletic, like a hiking group or rock climbing, or anything that you may be interested in? You may have more luck with that. If you run, there are running clubs everywhere.
  • roanokejoe49
    roanokejoe49 Posts: 820 Member
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    It's tricky. I don't use a gym much anymore, but when I did, I would be ticked if I was lifting and someone wanted to have a conversation about something. I used timed rest periods between sets, so I wasn't too keen on being chatty.

    That said, if I'm on a treadmill or stationary bike, chatting is a welcome respite from the boredom. Just my 2cents
  • luckypony71
    luckypony71 Posts: 399 Member
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    I have the same problem. I am very shy. Will smile and say hi to someone walking by. I finally made a few friends by joining a class. The same ladies in there every week. We chat before, after or on a water break.

    It's not right to interrupt someone in the middle of their workout. I will usually try talking to them in the locker room or the shake bar.

    If they are wearing headphones, I assume it means they want to be left alone.

    I did notice that once your there a while. (for me it was two years, did I mention I am very shy) people will actually start talking to you. I go to the gym with my husband every day. He doesn't like it when I interrupt his sets. I have learned to wander off and do my thing.

    Good luck.
  • sus49
    sus49 Posts: 94 Member
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    I think you can talk to and meet people anywhere. Be sensitive to the person. If they look like they are in the zone, then do not talk to them. If it looks like they are leaving the locker room rapidly to make it to work, don't talk to them. But otherwise you can just say Hi!. Don't try to push more on them. You are there everyday, they are there everyday and friendships take a while to develop. By just saying "Hi" you open the door. If they are interested they will talk to you. And don't worry if it doesn't take off right away. Once you have started saying Hi to certain individuals you will see that they will start saying Hi first. Then you can have a bit more interaction with them. The main thing is to ALWAYS give them the option to just nod or grunt and leave without feeling bad about it.

    It is very difficult to make new friends when you move to a new place. But it is not your fault, it is just how people are. So don't get nervous or desperate. Just be your lovely self and let them know you are interested in interacting.

    GOOD LUCK!
  • NRBreit
    NRBreit Posts: 319 Member
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    Go to the free weights section and ask for a spot.
  • aye_barbie13
    aye_barbie13 Posts: 3 Member
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    I would have to agree with some others on here and say ask someone to spot you. That is the best way to start a conversation. If it is a female then I would say compliments. What female doesn't like those? lol
  • missylectro
    missylectro Posts: 448 Member
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    It depends on how the person seems like... I met a couple friendly people at the gym (no one to say hi first though) and one that clearly did not want to talk to me.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    BETWEEN SETS

    Yeah, talk to me when I'm lifting and I'm liable to spit mad lyrics at you.

    Unless it's a cute girl, then I'll have to quickly hide liftin' wood.
  • healthyfoxx
    healthyfoxx Posts: 104 Member
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    Some people are probably different, but I don't go to the gym to talk to people. My gym is close to work and I always hope co-workers don't decide it's time to start chatting it up. I'm there to get my work done, get sweaty and awful looking, then go home. I wouldn't be rude if someone DID talk to me, but I would go home hoping it never happens again.

    Maybe if I was on my way out or something I would feel differently.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    Just catch the guys eye and smile. Then glance over at him once in a while. If you catch his eye even one more time and don't look away right away, that's enough. :)

    Nice guys don't want to come off as jerks and probably won't bug you at the gym unless they think you might be interested in talking to them. If he's anywhere near you when you're done, go get something to drink and see if he approaches you.

    Most men are not interested in befriending strange women. If they approach you, they're thinking it may, eventually, lead to sex. Even the nice ones. But nice guys will hide that. :)

    To meet women, take a class.

    Good luck!
  • mhlew
    mhlew Posts: 377 Member
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    I would be thrilled if a girl like you came up to me to chat at the gym. I have worked out for about 12 years in a gym and I can probably count on one hand how many girls (outside of people I already knew) have started just a casual conversation.

    I would say go for it! You would make someone's day I bet, it sure would make mine.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    I hate talking to people at the gym tbh, changes my focus and it's not why I'm there. But I have my headphones in and try not to make eye contact so in general I don't get bothered ... agree that perhaps a group class is more the opportunity or perhaps the changing room if people look friendly

    Just follow signals...no eye contact, or no facial expression generally means I'm focusing or spacing out don't bother me
  • mhlew
    mhlew Posts: 377 Member
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    Some people take the gym so seriously. I take the gym serious too but no one has time to have a simple conversation? Some people need to unwind a bit and and take your foot off the gas and enjoy these things in life.

    " I'm here to work out and work out only , I don't talk to any one, head phones on not one word spoken blah blah". People are ridiculous.
  • GatorDeb1
    GatorDeb1 Posts: 245 Member
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    Ohe floor outside it is not really conducive to meet people. I would pick a group class, those are great for socializing. I've done both and on the floor I've gotten to know people by face but rarely make friends. Some of them we've exchanged names but don't really chat. Helps that I'm a woman and men are more than happy to a woman saying hi to them lol

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