I feel like a failure

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gbklvr
gbklvr Posts: 84 Member
in Getting Started
Hi all,
I had been doing great until a week ago. My mom has lupus and she is having the worse flair up, we have been taking care of my FIL since his accident four months ago and he has been living with us for two months. His overall health has been improving. He is a diabetic and his sugars were around 300 when he moved in. Now they are at a normal range, there is physical therapy to take him and endless doctor appointments. I want to go back to work and looking into grad school. It just all hit me last week I guess so my eating has been atrocious. Pumpkin cookies, donuts, munchkins have been the staple. No measuring anything. I decided this morning enough face where you are and begin again but I feel like such a failure for slipping.
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Replies

  • biggermann
    biggermann Posts: 14 Member
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    don't be overly concerned, right now your mom is the most important thing going .

    When things settle down, you will be able to get back to your positive ways.

    best wishes for you and your mom
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Beating yourself up about something you've done and can't go back and change is a waste of time and energy. It's done, it's in the past, time to move on and get back on the wagon.

    However, you could learn a lesson from it as this won't be the last time you're faced with a stressful situation. How could you have handled it better? What else can you use to cope besides food? Maybe exercise, talking with a friend, etc.

    I know how hard it can be to break these kinds of bad eating habits, but it can be done with some time. In the meantime, be kind to yourself.
  • Vickilite
    Vickilite Posts: 34 Member
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    I agree about beating yourself up. Every meal is a new chance to restart. One things - I'd suggest not having all those goodies around to start with. After all, it sounds like your FIL shouldn't be tempted by having them around either, right? Good luck.
  • lqichick
    lqichick Posts: 162 Member
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    Maybe I can give us both a boost :)

    Do not call yourself a failure, you had a set back, life does that to all of us at some point or another. That sound like a lot on anyone's plate.

    You have the right idea to say enough and start again. That's what counted.

    Good luck with your your parents.
  • gbklvr
    gbklvr Posts: 84 Member
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    Very true I ate them out of the house which made it worse. I am giving myself time to feel and moving on. I like the idea of a plan. It's funny I am so much harder on myself than others. If it was a friend I would remind them it's a marathon not a Sprint. You didn't wait six months it was a week and what a great opportunity for you to learn. But when it's me it's a different story. I started tracking my food again and was honest about my behavior. I think of this site as accountability for me. Thank you all.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    So you tripped; get up and move on. Stop beating yourself up and focus on the now.
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    It's so common in the care taking role to forget about yourself. Just take some time for yourself to plan you meals, including an occasional treat here and there. Today is a new day, and it's one day at a time! Sending positive healing thoughts for your family and calming ones for you! Happy Friday!
  • emmietoby
    emmietoby Posts: 171 Member
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    hang in there hun ....seems that right now you have a lot to deal with.....
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
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    Aww, cut yourself some slack. You had a bad week. It's only failure if you stop trying.
  • Sweetvirgo63
    Sweetvirgo63 Posts: 119 Member
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    I agree with the others. Don't kick yourself down for any reason. You are taking care of other people at the moment and the only thing I can suggest is try to take at least 10 minutes for yourself and go or a walk so you can take a few deep breaths.
  • rides4sanity
    rides4sanity Posts: 1,269 Member
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    I had 2 solid weeks of gluttony recently... It's like I just gave up for a minute. That minute is over and I'm back with renewed focus. It is hard not to see this as a failure, but the truth is there were just more important things going on in my life at that time. Pick yourself up, remember what worked and get back to it. The past is the past and today is a gift.
  • bdenitto
    bdenitto Posts: 210 Member
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    My mom has Parkinson's disease and I have a toddler. There are times when life is crazy. Don't beat yourself up for not doing everything perfect. I find that focusing on getting in my exercise does two things. I burn calories and I have some time to think things through and to make a plan in my head for the day. I keep healthy foods in the house and if I can't plan dinner, I have access to things that won't blow my calorie allowance in a few bites. Remember to breathe!
  • awesomejdad
    awesomejdad Posts: 493 Member
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    you feel like a failure after a tough week. Do you want to feel that way after next week as well? Decide now and do what you have to do.
  • Loodlelou
    Loodlelou Posts: 6 Member
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    Don't feel like a failure. Everyone falls you just have to work some time in for yourself here and there. You can do this, life gets rough for us all sometimes.Don't beat yourself up just learn how to manage this stressful time in your life, just don't forget to take care of yourself, if you don't take care of yourself then you can't help all these others in your life. Don't give up!!!!
  • gneedsit
    gneedsit Posts: 5
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    I work in healthcare and have also taken care of family. There is no failure here. You are assisting 2 people you love and in some ways have put yourself on a back burner. Not off the stove but on a back burner. If no one else says it- God Bless You!! If you can find the time take a couple a minutes each day to devote to you. Many empathize with you and are giving you hugs.
  • AndyTwoSlow
    AndyTwoSlow Posts: 34
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    to borrow the words of Thomas Wayne - Why do we fall down?



    take a walk around the block during doctor appointments. do yoga at home after everyone is in bed/settled for the night. Control the things you can and let the rest flow around and through you.
  • bugtaylor
    bugtaylor Posts: 77 Member
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    The race doesn't go to the swift nor the strong but to the one who endures.
  • SerendipitySkye
    SerendipitySkye Posts: 202 Member
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    Please do not feel like a failure; and please do not give up. This is a season that we will all have to go through--when it is just hard to do the things we want to do for ourselves because we are lovingly taking care of others. Just try and do little things for yourself that make you happy and make you feel good. Go for walks when you can to clear your head. Take the stairs when you can. Make sure you stay hydrated and breathe. I am saying prayers for you and your family.

    Hugs,
    ~Skye :flowerforyou:
  • happieharpie
    happieharpie Posts: 229 Member
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    Why not consider yourself a success at being a wonderful daughter and a daughter focused on keeping yourself well and strong.

    Start right now, this minute, make your plan for a nutritious meal as soon as you're hungry again.

    After you've enjoyed your next meal, give yourself points for a successful managing of ONE MEAL, and plan for the meal that you will be eating next.

    As you can see, "success" is BUILT, one meal at a time, one walk at a time, one glass of water at a time. If you think of "success" the opposite of "failure" it can be too hard to catch, but if you think of it as a wall of bricks, it will be more likely to stay put when things are tough to handle.
  • MrsMizart
    MrsMizart Posts: 1,275 Member
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    You're doing grand lass.

    This is not a race nor a competition. You will get to your goal in your time.

    Hugs.

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