How to approach someone at the gym?

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13

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  • dMonster01
    dMonster01 Posts: 214 Member
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    Gym-GIFS.gif
  • Amanda4change
    Amanda4change Posts: 620 Member
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    I go to the gym 6-7 days a week, however I rarely if ever talk to anyone. There are a few reasons for this, first I am a total klutz and if there is a crazy way to hurt yourself I have done it, so I need to stay focused on what I am doing (or the paramedics are likely to be needed), secondly my son is 3. My gym has a child care center where they will watch your kids for a limited time, if I am going to get my workout in and be able to shower I don't have time to stop and chat (because if I do stop and chat my workout gets cut short). I wear headphones the entire time and keep focused to myself, and if someone does start talking to me I'm not rude about it, but will tell them I've got to stay focused and if they want to chat I can after I get my kid from the daycare. As for what not to do, there is a lady at my gym who I think really wants some friends but she comes across as creepy as she will pick one person and follow them around until they leave, don't do that.
  • mhlew
    mhlew Posts: 377 Member
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    God I love stirring the pot.. It sure makes these message boards a lot more exciting. To my point, I am not talking about a full on conversation like we are having coffee at Starbucks together but at the gym.

    For instance I was wearing a Milwaukee Tools teeshirt to the gym and a pretty girl asked me "Hey are you from Milwaukee?" and we talked for literally 2 minutes (No I am not from Milwaukee in case anyone really cares, it just happen to be a shirt I was wearing) But I thought it was nice for her to just be friendly and break the ice where speaking to a stranger at the gym is sometimes frowned upon. I am an open book feel free to talk to me, but like I said this isn't Starbucks so make it brief and friendly and I will gladly accept your kindness.

    But if you dont have time to appreciate nice gestures like that, I feel sorry for you. Make time in your day to appreciate!
  • mhlew
    mhlew Posts: 377 Member
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    I make the most headway with gym people in classes. Other than that, just go talk to someone. In between sets, in the locker room, or in the stretching area pretty much the only appropriate avenues to take in starting convos in the gym.

    Perfect example to my point, thank you.
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    It's easier to talk to people in group fitness. Either before the class starts or during a break or sometimes you can linger and talk to people. Outside of that people are probably going to think you're hitting in them so be careful.
  • mhlew
    mhlew Posts: 377 Member
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    Some people take the gym so seriously. I take the gym serious too but no one has time to have a simple conversation? Some people need to unwind a bit and and take your foot off the gas and enjoy these things in life.

    " I'm here to work out and work out only , I don't talk to any one, head phones on not one word spoken blah blah". People are ridiculous.

    You can't make a broad assumption that everyone who's in a rush or has headphones on is antisocial. That's just absurd.

    I don't belive I stated this anywhere. If so please quote me. I did comment that the responses people are saying in this message board in my opinion are rediculous. A lot of comments I have read, the majority seem to frown upon anyone speaking to them at the gym and do not have one minute to spare for anything non-gym related. I think that is absurd- in my opinion.

    If you want to talk about absurd- Do not ask me how many sets I have left.
  • BigLifter10
    BigLifter10 Posts: 1,152 Member
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    And, whatever you do.....do NOT lurk outside at your car, scanning the lot and door to see who is coming out and going to what car. At the gym I go to....that has happened more than once and it can turn into an issue. Certainly not saying you'd do that....but it definitely happens where I go. Freaakkky.
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
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    Some people take the gym so seriously. I take the gym serious too but no one has time to have a simple conversation? Some people need to unwind a bit and and take your foot off the gas and enjoy these things in life.

    " I'm here to work out and work out only , I don't talk to any one, head phones on not one word spoken blah blah". People are different from me.

    FIFY
  • ShannonMpls
    ShannonMpls Posts: 1,936 Member
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    I've made most of my gym friends before/after group exercise classes - the best place in my opinion. Also, now that I've made so many friends there, it makes the class even more fun. I have also had a lot of conversations while stretching, initiated by me and others.

    I don't mind if people chat between sets when I'm lifting, but I get annoyed when they want a long-drawn out conversation...so I'd recommend making it quick if you approach people then.
  • thunderseed
    thunderseed Posts: 40 Member
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    The gym really isn't the best place to socialize, but team sports, fitness classes, yoga, and healthy groups like running groups are a great way to meet and socialize with other healthy individuals.

    You'll probably have better luck chatting up people who are new at the gym and maybe even finding a gym partner that way, but most times, people who are serious about working out are going to be uninterested in conversation and they will want to be completely focused on their routine, reps and sets. People who work out very hard aren't going to have any time inbetween sets for socializing anyway, but if someone's just sitting there on a bench resting they might be open to a few words. It's never good to talk to someone in the middle of reps.

    When I go to the gym, I do listen to my music and ignore everyone else and any kind of socializing pisses me off and I do not like being interuppted. It also irritates me to see people just standing there chatting and getting in the way of equipment that I or somebody else needs to use, so if you do plan on chatting with someone, make sure you aren't in the way of equipment so everyone else can get on with their workout. It's also irritating when people get absorbed chatting with someone while they are using equipment - finish your reps and sets and let the next person use it!
    If it's a small, crowded gym do everyone a favour and don't stand around getting in the way period.
    That should really just boil down to common sense and proper gym etiquette. People are there to work out, so try to respect that as much as possible.
    Personally, I don't think the gym is supposed to be a social gathering place, it's a place for you to work out, respect everyone else around you and leave. If everyone went there to chat, you would never be able to get anything done.

    This is good news for people who are worried about what other people might think of them when they go to the gym - the good thing is majority of people, like myself, don't even care because we are too busy focusing on our own workout.
  • sistrsprkl
    sistrsprkl Posts: 1,013 Member
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    This has been said, but I find that people in group excercise classes are generally very friendly and willing to strike up a convo. Good luck. Also, maybe try looking at Meetup.com for running/hiking/team sports groups in your new area.
  • apacheta
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    The weight room floor is really not conducive to social chit chat. I'm not just thinking of the people you'd want to meet but also everyone else. It can be annoying if you're working out to have people socializing in or around your space. Most people are there to do their thing in a focused, efficient manner.

    On the other hand, I think the group fitness classes are a good place to strike up a conversation. Like others have commented, I'd wait until you've been there for a while and start seeing familiar faces. But there are usually opportunities when the instructor is setting up, between tracks, after class, etc. Having said that, since for the most part men don't do classes this limits you to women.
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
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    There is only 1 time in the gym that it's okay to talk to me: When I'm taking a class, you can make small talk directly before or directly after the class.

    Otherwise, leave me alone. I don't go to the gym to socialize. In fact, it's one of the last places in society where you can just be left alone. It has nothing to do with "being in the zone" and isn't even workout-related. I'm doing something by myself, for myself. Just let me do it.
  • hearthwood
    hearthwood Posts: 794 Member
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    Well, depends on the motivation. Are you trying to talk to other women and make friends? Talk to guys and make friends? Talk to guys to try and find someone you might be interested in? I think the answer may very well be different depending on what you are looking for.
    I was mostly geared just towards meeting people (male or female) and making friends, and the gym seemed like a good starting point since clearly we would have something in common.

    A Hi how are you doing? My name is. What's your name, how long at you been working out here, is a very good start. Then after a couple of weeks or months of getting to know each other, it's would you like to go to lunch after the workout.
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    There is only 1 time in the gym that it's okay to talk to me: When I'm taking a class, you can make small talk directly before or directly after the class.

    Otherwise, leave me alone. I don't go to the gym to socialize. In fact, it's one of the last places in society where you can just be left alone. It has nothing to do with "being in the zone" and isn't even workout-related. I'm doing something by myself, for myself. Just let me do it.

    +1
    It would creep me out too much if I started seeing someone often at the gym and out of nowhere they tried to make a conversation. I would find it off-putting enough to go to a different gym or change when I go.
  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
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    A lot of comments I have read, the majority seem to frown upon anyone speaking to them at the gym and do not have one minute to spare for anything non-gym related. I think that is absurd- in my opinion.

    To each their own. But I did mention that some people (such as myself, say) do NOT have "one minute to spare". People are busy. If someone says hello, I'll say hello back or "nice day", but yeah - I don't have time for chit-chat. It's nice that you and others do, but some don't.

    And with that - bless your heart. :love: :flowerforyou:

    *cough*
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    How do you approach people in other places? Try that. Wait, answer the question first and let me check your response before I say, "try that." A bit too much derp in here lately for me to say that without checking first.
  • anomar6
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    Which makes the gym no different from anywhere else. Everywhere we go there are people who don't have one minute to spare and people who have nothing at all pressing to do and are just lollygagging about. Add to that, some people enjoy meeting new people and striking up conversations and others abhor it. I don't see what makes the gym different from any other place.

    Then, for some of us, it depends on the specifics. Personally, if the OP approached me anywhere I'd make time for her no matter how busy I was :)

    A lot of comments I have read, the majority seem to frown upon anyone speaking to them at the gym and do not have one minute to spare for anything non-gym related. I think that is absurd- in my opinion.

    To each their own. But I did mention that some people (such as myself, say) do NOT have "one minute to spare". People are busy. If someone says hello, I'll say hello back or "nice day", but yeah - I don't have time for chit-chat. It's nice that you and others do, but some don't.

    And with that - bless your heart. :love: :flowerforyou:

    *cough*
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    I see a lot of the same people at the gym, and if it's clear that we both recognize the other person, I think "hi, how are you?" is effective. You'll be able to tell from their response whether or not they are someone who is open to chatting. I only go the the gym for the weights, and I have no problem talking to people when I'm resting between sets. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen very often, the guys in the weight section aren't very talkative.
  • Oxmarqt
    Oxmarqt Posts: 378 Member
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    This won't help at the gym but try, meetup.com. You might find some groups that share interests with you. Since it is a group setting it is safe also.