Seriously...HOW???
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I didn't jump into this overnight. I made a new year's resolution to work out for 30 minutes 3x a week. I met that goal in July. JULY!!! Seven months. I'm still not doing it every single week either, but when I travel, my workout gear goes with me. No ifs, ands, or buts. Then I started tracking my food one meal. Then two meals. Then a whole day. Then a whole week. Then two weeks, then 3 days of no logging, then right back on track. Then I bought a scale and started using it. Then I started really using it to measure grams instead of ounces. At first, I wasn't meeting my goals. Then it got easier and easier. I started cutting back soda slowly. Now I'm down to less than 20 oz every 2-3 days rather than 40 oz in a day. I typically meet my calorie goals now, but I'm still working on the others. If I meet 3 of 4, I'm pretty happy.
I'll sum it up like this. Go slow. Stop torturing yourself with "I can't have that" and "I must do this". BS. You don't have to do anything. Seriously. If you want weight loss, then do things to help you get there, but don't try to be some nutrition/fitness guru all at once. For instance, I'm totally having a cupcake on my birthday, and it doesn't matter if I go over my plan that day. You know why? Because it's one day. Plus I'm probably going to watch what I eat the rest of the day anyway. If I get to the end of the day, and I'm over my goals that day, then so be it. I'll get right back on track, dust myself off, and remember that one cupcake does not undo months of tracking. Hang in there. You can do it if you really want it.0 -
Either you want it or you don't. If you want it, toughen up and do the work. That's how.0
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How do you do this every day?
Does it become the most important thing in your life? Do you put tracking your calories and finding healthy food and making time to exercise above everything else in your life?
I can do it for a week. Sometimes I can do it for a month. But I've never been able to continue for longer than that without putting the weight back on.
I cringe every time I look in the mirror. I say negative things to myself every time I try to put on a pair of jeans and find out they are too tight. I feel guilty when I eat anything I shouldn't. But no matter how bad I feel I can't make myself stay on track with this.
Do I have some kind of hormone problem that makes me incapable of dealing with stress? I don't think so, in fact I think I'm pretty normal. So how the heck do I make myself keep going when I'm having a bad day or I'm on my period or I just don't feel like it?
I'm fairly intelligent. I understand the mechanics of losing weight. Am I just lazy?
HOW????
How can I stay on track for more than a week at a time? How can I fit it into my life so I don't feel like I am taking away from my family?
I can see the responses now telling me "you're not a special snowflake, just do it"
By doing it until it's second nature.0 -
I have found it does no good to look back and kick yourself. You can only look forward and try to do better today0
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HOW... Because we're wired to eat when there's food around. 100,000 years ago do you think humans wandered into a fertile valley with plenty of food and didn't eat? They ate. It's survival.
My advice, for what it's worth, is to think of dieting like you do interval training. Short extreme bursts followed by periods of rest. If you can't stay on a diet for the long term then don't: do it for the (very!) short term. One day on (500 calories which is practically light fasting) and one day off (eat anything you can fit into your now-shrunken stomach) has worked for me. 8 pounds in 2 weeks.
I fast on even numbered days, feast on odd numbered days. Nett calories are lower than TDEE over a week.0 -
I think you just said it best and may not realize it. You said you like to have control over things and this slips away. That was my big issue. I could maintain control over my weight for a week or two and then thinking about the fact that I needed to lose 50 pounds would seem to far away and too unachievable for my control in that moment so I would yo yo diet. I actually had to break my goals into smaller achievable ones. I give myself a set date to lose 10 pounds and only focus on that 10 pounds, not so bad. You can even break it down to 2 a week. I would think of a 1 pound deli container full of chicken fat and every pound lost was that container of fat gone from my body. Doing all this psychological helped me achieve the will to do the physical work to get there. First month I lost 10 pounds then I joined MFP for all this awesome support. You have to mentally get there first. Baby steps.0
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A serious health issue seems to have done it for me. Most my life my weight has gone up and down, but few years ago I was so unwell that I needed help just to get through the shower. It took me a long time to just be able to care for my own children on a day to day basis and be able to work part-time. I will never be 100% but eating well and exercise helps to keep my health problems stable. No Im not at my goal weight and it has been 2 years and I have had a back injury in the last 6 months that has set me back and I gained almost 10kgs but it does not mean I don't get back up and dust myself off or that I have given up. Rome wasn't built in a day, ensure you are changing things to healthier options that are sustainable for you. Good luck
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At some point the want to change becomes the stronger than the want to put up with things as they are.
Time is going to pass regardless - in a years time, you'll wish you started today0 -
i was really really really pissed off thats how
it became routine and is now my norm0 -
I am sure the OP has gotten plenty of reasonable advise and hopefully can find the answers within herself.
So I am just gonna leave one of my favorite sayings here.
The world is full of temptations, the only thing that stands between them and you is self control.0 -
Figure out how to make it convenient, then, after one day at a time, it becomes a habit.0
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I think once you have lost and gained the same 60+lbs a few times you start to realize sticking with it is the only thing that will work long term. ..It does just become habit eventually and the reward is watching the scale go down which is a constant motivator.0
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you have to view it as a part of your life. Not a challenge. You make time to brush your teeth and shave your legs, right? You can also make time to exercise. You can make time to cook a healthy meal.
If you have kids, you can incorporate exercise into your family time. I hike with my kid. I surf with my kid. I rock climb...with my kid. No that's not pumping out weights, but it's exercise (I have another deal i make with him so i can lift weights). My point is: good parenting can involve exercise. Ride bikes with your kids. Wear a HRM to the play ground and don't just watch- participate!
If you work a serious job (I do), take a walk on your lunch break. Destress. I actually do yoga in my office when I have time. Destress. Get up early and get in a ten minute run before the day starts. Ten minutes is one mile is 100 calories is a great way to start a day (ok, i haven't done this in a while, but i will tmorrow).0 -
I was there, believe me. I thought 'how can I squeeze even 10 minutes into my schedule'? I suffer from anxiety, insomnia, and worst of all I'm lazy. This January I decided to just force myself to exercise and try to lose weight I gained from pregnancy, depression, and inactivity. I've had good days and bad, still do, but this month I have exercised EVERY SINGLE DAY! I'm doing 60 minutes of either walking (outside or treadmill) or recumbent bike on good days with Wii Fit U yoga on Sundays. Less on bad days, but I do something for a little while and tell myself it is enough.
I eat healthy, or at least try to, but still go out to restaurants and don't say 'geez this is too many calories, etc.'. I eat slowly, enjoying the fact I'm not cooking or doing dishes, and stop when I'm full. I doggy bag the rest and if I'm hungry later, well, I have a bit more then. I don't get guilty about it, but I'm mindful and do track as best I can just to keep tabs on my intake/deficit amounts. I've still managed to lose over 15 pounds so far so I must be doing something right.
It's not easy, you'll slip and beat yourself up about it, but keep at it. Be flexible and understanding with yourself. Nobody is perfect, nobody loses weight the exact same way regardless of what formulas you see. For some it's cutting calories or walking around the neighborhood or hitting the gym or a mix of things. Do what works for you and most of all keep trying each day. Every day is a new chance to have a good day!0 -
Everyone's a special snowflake...that's the problem. I used to get resentful of my friends who can eat everything and burp off 5 lbs. That's not me. My family is heavy. Genetics have a lot to do with it right along with a hysterectomy and multiple surgeries plus being 41 and spending over half my life overweight. While every one of those things is true, it doesn't mean they aren't also excuses. Excuses why I couldn't workout, excuses why I was heavy, excuses why I was never going to be thin so why try? Like an alcoholic going cold turkey, YOU have to want it bad enough to work for it. You ask if it becomes the most important thing in your life? In a word, YES. If you do not prioritize your health, who will?
I still get sighs and eye rolling when I decline an invitation to a restaurant without light options that fit in my calorie goals. I don't give myself 'free days' because my *kitten* fat doesn't take a day off. I try not to talk about it to others who aren't on the same journey, but you know what? Once people start to notice, THEY initiate the weight loss conversation. They want to know what you're doing to be so successful. Imagine their shock when they hear "eating right and exercising". It isn't rocket science, it's just being more stubborn, selfish and willful than you've ever been before. It's time to concentrat4e on you. Find some people on here to add as friends, make your diary open to them and let the knowledge that you are being honest with yourself and others keep you accountable. This is the most successful I've ever been because I put my foot down and said "NO MORE!!"
I refuse to be identified by my waistline anymore. I refuse to hide from mirrors or just start crying when I catch a glimpse of myself in a window reflection. I'm still morbidly obese, but I know I will never again be at my heaviest weight. I smile because I know that my reflection (and clothing size) is ever changing and getting smaller every day.
No one is more special than you. Everyone who is successful at changing their life did it because it was their time to stand up and do it. (on that note, feel free to add me and stalk my diary, lol)0 -
How do you do this every day?
Does it become the most important thing in your life? Do you put tracking your calories and finding healthy food and making time to exercise above everything else in your life?
I can do it for a week. Sometimes I can do it for a month. But I've never been able to continue for longer than that without putting the weight back on.
I cringe every time I look in the mirror. I say negative things to myself every time I try to put on a pair of jeans and find out they are too tight. I feel guilty when I eat anything I shouldn't. But no matter how bad I feel I can't make myself stay on track with this.
Do I have some kind of hormone problem that makes me incapable of dealing with stress? I don't think so, in fact I think I'm pretty normal. So how the heck do I make myself keep going when I'm having a bad day or I'm on my period or I just don't feel like it?
I'm fairly intelligent. I understand the mechanics of losing weight. Am I just lazy?
HOW????
How can I stay on track for more than a week at a time? How can I fit it into my life so I don't feel like I am taking away from my family?
I can see the responses now telling me "you're not a special snowflake, just do it"
OMG!!!!! if you are not me!!! I don't know what to do. I am sooooooo tired. Why can I not get on track and stay on track? Anymore I feel like some type of nut. Is it really supposed to be this hard.:sad:0 -
If I do it, and make it important, then yeah, I focus and it becomes easier. I plan meals ahead of time, too.0
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You would be surprised how quickly it becomes a habit and how little time it actually takes.0
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I had to get to the point where I was ready to dedicate myself to it. Once that happened I was able to use MFP the way I was supposed to. Then after 8 months of only counting calories and losing 46lbs, I finally decided to go to the gym and start working out. I go 3-5 times a week and have been for the past 6 weeks. I haven't lost weight in almost 2 months and I am getting frustrated, but I know at some point I'll start losing again so I continue following my calories and my exercising.0
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Honestly, I just do it. It's not an obsession, and it's certainly not the most important part of my day. But it's a tool that is helping me with the most important part of myself - my health. I don't always feel like it, but I know I have to do it or I will start regressing instead of progressing, and I won't allow myself to do that, because my health is important to me and it is important to my family and my future family. If you're busy or know you won't feel like logging later, 10 minutes out of the day, and you can have your entire day's worth of food logged. A minute here and there through the day to tweak and edit. It doesn't have to be rocket science. Just figure out what works for you and stick to it.0
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You just do it. If you want it bad enough you make it happen.
^ This
If you want it bad enough, you can do it. Giving up is not going to be an option. Dig deep0 -
If beating ourselves up and talking trash to ourselves were effective, probably none of us would have weight issues!
We can undertake a weight loss journey as punishment, or as self-regard and self-care.
Here are some things that help me:
1. I focus on getting healthy and view weight loss as a side effect of good nutrition and healthful activity.
2. I NEVER put time expectations on my body, as in "I will lose x pounds in x days." That is a sure route to frustration. You can do everything right and on a given day, have a little extra salt and fluid and the scale won't cooperate.
3. I am not imposing a scale weight as my goal: I trust that if I eat properly and exercise appropriately my body will find its natural sustainable weight. It's not all or nothing. Some is better than none.
4. I try to find pleasure in what has to be done. Right now, I am concentrating on just walking "like a vagabond." I have health issues that limit intensity right now and walking is what I can do. I am finding enormous pleasure in being able to walk longer distances. It's something that even most working folk can do during lunch hour! And it feels good! Pleasure in food: I am trying to eat more vegetables and I am enjoying finding new recipes and ways to prepare.
5. Life problems often are like a tangled ball of yarn. It doesn't matter where you start, as long as you find an end and start untangling! Don't try to do it all at once! Pick one thread, preferably one that feels good, and stick with it until you are ready to add something else.
6. A lifelong problem is not going to be solved overnight. Be patient. Be persistent. Be forgiving and kind.
7. Losing weight is difficult. It takes enormous self-love and regard to exercise the consistent discipline necessary, so practice that kind of kindness every day.
Hugs,
Rosey0 -
If beating ourselves up and talking trash to ourselves were effective, probably none of us would have weight issues!
We can undertake a weight loss journey as punishment, or as self-regard and self-care.
Here are some things that help me:
1. I focus on getting healthy and view weight loss as a side effect of good nutrition and healthful activity.
2. I NEVER put time expectations on my body, as in "I will lose x pounds in x days." That is a sure route to frustration. You can do everything right and on a given day, have a little extra salt and fluid and the scale won't cooperate.
3. I am not imposing a scale weight as my goal: I trust that if I eat properly and exercise appropriately my body will find its natural sustainable weight. It's not all or nothing. Some is better than none.
4. I try to find pleasure in what has to be done. Right now, I am concentrating on just walking "like a vagabond." I have health issues that limit intensity right now and walking is what I can do. I am finding enormous pleasure in being able to walk longer distances. It's something that even most working folk can do during lunch hour! And it feels good! Pleasure in food: I am trying to eat more vegetables and I am enjoying finding new recipes and ways to prepare.
5. Life problems often are like a tangled ball of yarn. It doesn't matter where you start, as long as you find an end and start untangling! Don't try to do it all at once! Pick one thread, preferably one that feels good, and stick with it until you are ready to add something else.
6. A lifelong problem is not going to be solved overnight. Be patient. Be persistent. Be forgiving and kind.
7. Losing weight is difficult. It takes enormous self-love and regard to exercise the consistent discipline necessary, so practice that kind of kindness every day.
Hugs,
Rosey
im having a hard day and reading this has really helped me. thank you for taking the time out to share
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Honestly, you create a new routine, and until you have one, yes you kind of let it take over your life. They say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit, so learn to do things gradually. Don't come in with a perspective like I'm going to lose 15lbs this month, because when you don't you'll be crushed.
Come in with an attitude like: I'd really like to be more active, maybe I should start getting up half an hour earlier and heading out for a walk, get some "me time". And eventually once that's in your schedule you might be thinking, you know, walking's great, but what if I started doing a walk run combo to get the most out of my time?
Don't think you have to be restrictive with your diet, eat the things you love, but learn moderation. Want to have that piece of cake? That's fine, just make sure it fits your calories (and ideally your macros too).
It's a marathon, not a sprint. You can't view it like this is something I'm going to do for the next 6 months until I'm where I want to be, you have to make gradual changes that are sustainable in your lifestyle.
For example, there are lots of people who work out 6 days a week, I average 3-4 because I know that for my lifestyle that's realistic long term; sure I could do 6 workouts a week right now (I've got the time), but then I feel like this starts to completely take over my life. You have to find the balance for you.
Good luck!
Yes, yes, yes! The thing about it taking 21 days to make a habit is something I always hear my mother-in-law say, so when I started trying to lose weight again, I refused to let myself stop until I at least finished those 21 days... then 21 turned into 22, 23... and now 6+ weeks without ever having a thought that I can't do this! It has truly become a lifestyle and I feel so much better for it.
I still eat the same foods as I used to, but I make sure I eat proper portions. I have noticed I usually don't even want the "bad" foods anymore. I eat pizza when my husband orders it and usually don't even finish the first slice. It makes me feel gross when I eat stuff like that, which makes it very easy to avoid it altogether.
Just feeling my body change is enough to keep me motivated. I don't want to have a hard time breathing when walking less than 1/2 a mile to the store with my husband, which is something we have been doing just for the fun of it and used to be very difficult for me. For that reason, I just keep going. Even if I wasn't losing weight, I wouldn't mind because I know my body is getting better all the same.0 -
bump0
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Do you go in all-or-nothing? I was never successful when I did that. I only started being successful by making small changes, one at a time, and focusing on simply losing a pound a week rather than the whole lot of it. Then it was literally a matter of trusting the process and not overwhelming myself with being overcommitted. It has worked almost effortlessly, and I continue to lose on a regular weekly schedule.0
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I guess that is why its called a lifestyle change or journey. For 2 or 3 weeks is only a diet and 95% of people on diets fail.0
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I want to add that you don't have to feel like you are taking time away from your family. I go walking nearly every day. I'm a single mom, so I can understand your concern about spending time with family. Anyway, my daughter and I started going on walks together. Most days she walks with me. It's actually been a positive thing for us and we can walk and spend time together and talk without the distractions that are around the house. Plus, she has even lost a few pounds herself. Of course, I'm not sure how old your children are. This would be harder with younger ones unless you put them in a stroller. My daughter is 12, so that makes it a little easier. But still, if it's a concern for you, try to work them in at least occasionally. I even used to have a double bike attachment when she was younger so that we could both ride bikes together. We had a lot of fun doing that.0
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I cringe every time I look in the mirror. I say negative things to myself every time I try to put on a pair of jeans and find out they are too tight. I feel guilty when I eat anything I shouldn't. But no matter how bad I feel I can't make myself stay on track with this.
This is your problem. the biggest change you have to make is your attitude. You have to love yourself how you are and love yourself enough to change the things you don't like. I have these same feelings but I shoot them down with positivity. Yes, tracking my calories, exercise and weight loss is important to me but it is by no means more important than say spending time with my family or doing well at my job. I think this is the problem because if you get so disgusted with yourself that you can't bear to look at what you are eating or the activity you are doing on a daily basis you will not stick it out. CHANGE YOUR VIEW OF YOURSELF!!! The rest will fall into place. When you realize that being on this site is helping you achieve your goals then you will want to do it and that negativity will slowly fade. Best of luck to you.0 -
ARG I just wrote a whole paragraph and it got erased. WHY?
HI
I can not speak for others but for me I can say this is a hurdle, mountain I must get over almost everyday. Sometimes it feels like its just one step. somedays it feels like Mt. Everest and there is no way I can get there. I just had a conversation about why I put myself down so much. It is still possible to lose weight but you have to recognize that you are capable of doing this for you.
Ask yourself. AM I DOING THIS FOR ME? If you are doing this to look like a model on a magazine, or to look good for others so you can feel good about yourself, then it is gonna be harder to find the strength in yourself. because you are looking outside of you for what is already in you. I am not trying to say it is shallow to want to look good. Because I believe we all have that desire to some extent. You have to decide why do you want this Is this for you. So you can feel that you have accomplished what you wanted.
If you look at yourself daily and see only failure and disappointment because your expectations are unrealistic then it will be harder to believe in yourself.
ask yourself. WHAT DO I WANT FOR ME? sometimes on a walk or run I can ask myself this and really be honest. because its only me, no one else, no tv, no internet, no magazine. just me, myself, and I. Its also a good time to give myself that needed pep talk. I do all sorts of work outs but I find when I run I can really think about how bad I want it.
it also a one day at a time thing. If you look at yourself today and can not believe that you have not lost 30 lbs yet, you can not beat yourself up, because you will quit. why? because its not real. what you want may not be attainable in one month. its takes longer. trust me I get mad at myself for looking like I want to. So I start wondering why am I so mad at myself? I have come such a long way. I can do more push ups, more squats, run longer, go up the stairs quicker. Those are the milestones you should be proud of. YES PROUD OF. find what you have accomplished and give yourself that pat on the back. Do not get wait for the big weight loss number to be proud of yourself, you will get bummed. but every week look back at some pictures maybe, look at your accomplishments and see how you have gotten closer.
write down what you want for you. Do you want to be stronger? Do you want to run faster? Find those goals and write down what you need to get there. and check off what your have accomplished to get there.
Just the other day my MFP friend helped me out of my slump. She was there for me and I needed it, Next day I did something new I had never done. I took my tablet to the kids playground, took my 3 kids with me and I worked out right there. I decided, I will not be embarrassed, I will do this for me. And it was actually pretty awesome. I was not bored watching them and I used that time to work on me.
YOU CAN DO THIS. but when it gets so unbearably hard, talk to someone who supports you. Maybe all you need is to lace up those sneakers and go for a walk. Do not think about it just go. do not give yourself time to talk yourself out of it.
ONE DAY AT A TIME.0
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