Seriously...HOW???

If beating ourselves up and talking trash to ourselves were effective, probably none of us would have weight issues!

We can undertake a weight loss journey as punishment, or as self-regard and self-care.

Here are some things that help me:

1. I focus on getting healthy and view weight loss as a side effect of good nutrition and healthful activity.

2. I NEVER put time expectations on my body, as in "I will lose x pounds in x days." That is a sure route to frustration. You can do everything right and on a given day, have a little extra salt and fluid and the scale won't cooperate.

3. I am not imposing a scale weight as my goal: I trust that if I eat properly and exercise appropriately my body will find its natural sustainable weight. It's not all or nothing. Some is better than none.

4. I try to find pleasure in what has to be done. Right now, I am concentrating on just walking "like a vagabond." I have health issues that limit intensity right now and walking is what I can do. I am finding enormous pleasure in being able to walk longer distances. It's something that even most working folk can do during lunch hour! And it feels good! Pleasure in food: I am trying to eat more vegetables and I am enjoying finding new recipes and ways to prepare.

5. Life problems often are like a tangled ball of yarn. It doesn't matter where you start, as long as you find an end and start untangling! Don't try to do it all at once! Pick one thread, preferably one that feels good, and stick with it until you are ready to add something else.

6. A lifelong problem is not going to be solved overnight. Be patient. Be persistent. Be forgiving and kind.

7. Losing weight is difficult. It takes enormous self-love and regard to exercise the consistent discipline necessary, so practice that kind of kindness every day.

Hugs,
Rosey

Honestly, you create a new routine, and until you have one, yes you kind of let it take over your life. They say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit, so learn to do things gradually. Don't come in with a perspective like I'm going to lose 15lbs this month, because when you don't you'll be crushed.

Come in with an attitude like: I'd really like to be more active, maybe I should start getting up half an hour earlier and heading out for a walk, get some "me time". And eventually once that's in your schedule you might be thinking, you know, walking's great, but what if I started doing a walk run combo to get the most out of my time?

Don't think you have to be restrictive with your diet, eat the things you love, but learn moderation. Want to have that piece of cake? That's fine, just make sure it fits your calories (and ideally your macros too).

It's a marathon, not a sprint. You can't view it like this is something I'm going to do for the next 6 months until I'm where I want to be, you have to make gradual changes that are sustainable in your lifestyle.

For example, there are lots of people who work out 6 days a week, I average 3-4 because I know that for my lifestyle that's realistic long term; sure I could do 6 workouts a week right now (I've got the time), but then I feel like this starts to completely take over my life. You have to find the balance for you.

Good luck!

Yes, yes, yes! The thing about it taking 21 days to make a habit is something I always hear my mother-in-law say, so when I started trying to lose weight again, I refused to let myself stop until I at least finished those 21 days... then 21 turned into 22, 23... and now 6+ weeks without ever having a thought that I can't do this! It has truly become a lifestyle and I feel so much better for it.

I still eat the same foods as I used to, but I make sure I eat proper portions. I have noticed I usually don't even want the "bad" foods anymore. I eat pizza when my husband orders it and usually don't even finish the first slice. It makes me feel gross when I eat stuff like that, which makes it very easy to avoid it altogether.

Just feeling my body change is enough to keep me motivated. I don't want to have a hard time breathing when walking less than 1/2 a mile to the store with my husband, which is something we have been doing just for the fun of it and used to be very difficult for me. For that reason, I just keep going. Even if I wasn't losing weight, I wouldn't mind because I know my body is getting better all the same.

Do you go in all-or-nothing? I was never successful when I did that. I only started being successful by making small changes, one at a time, and focusing on simply losing a pound a week rather than the whole lot of it. Then it was literally a matter of trusting the process and not overwhelming myself with being overcommitted. It has worked almost effortlessly, and I continue to lose on a regular weekly schedule.

I want to add that you don't have to feel like you are taking time away from your family. I go walking nearly every day. I'm a single mom, so I can understand your concern about spending time with family. Anyway, my daughter and I started going on walks together. Most days she walks with me. It's actually been a positive thing for us and we can walk and spend time together and talk without the distractions that are around the house. Plus, she has even lost a few pounds herself. Of course, I'm not sure how old your children are. This would be harder with younger ones unless you put them in a stroller. My daughter is 12, so that makes it a little easier. But still, if it's a concern for you, try to work them in at least occasionally. I even used to have a double bike attachment when she was younger so that we could both ride bikes together. We had a lot of fun doing that.

ARG I just wrote a whole paragraph and it got erased. WHY?

HI
I can not speak for others but for me I can say this is a hurdle, mountain I must get over almost everyday. Sometimes it feels like its just one step. somedays it feels like Mt. Everest and there is no way I can get there. I just had a conversation about why I put myself down so much. It is still possible to lose weight but you have to recognize that you are capable of doing this for you.
Ask yourself. AM I DOING THIS FOR ME? If you are doing this to look like a model on a magazine, or to look good for others so you can feel good about yourself, then it is gonna be harder to find the strength in yourself. because you are looking outside of you for what is already in you. I am not trying to say it is shallow to want to look good. Because I believe we all have that desire to some extent. You have to decide why do you want this Is this for you. So you can feel that you have accomplished what you wanted.
If you look at yourself daily and see only failure and disappointment because your expectations are unrealistic then it will be harder to believe in yourself.
ask yourself. WHAT DO I WANT FOR ME? sometimes on a walk or run I can ask myself this and really be honest. because its only me, no one else, no tv, no internet, no magazine. just me, myself, and I. Its also a good time to give myself that needed pep talk. I do all sorts of work outs but I find when I run I can really think about how bad I want it.
it also a one day at a time thing. If you look at yourself today and can not believe that you have not lost 30 lbs yet, you can not beat yourself up, because you will quit. why? because its not real. what you want may not be attainable in one month. its takes longer. trust me I get mad at myself for looking like I want to. So I start wondering why am I so mad at myself? I have come such a long way. I can do more push ups, more squats, run longer, go up the stairs quicker. Those are the milestones you should be proud of. YES PROUD OF. find what you have accomplished and give yourself that pat on the back. Do not get wait for the big weight loss number to be proud of yourself, you will get bummed. but every week look back at some pictures maybe, look at your accomplishments and see how you have gotten closer.
write down what you want for you. Do you want to be stronger? Do you want to run faster? Find those goals and write down what you need to get there. and check off what your have accomplished to get there.

Just the other day my MFP friend helped me out of my slump. She was there for me and I needed it, Next day I did something new I had never done. I took my tablet to the kids playground, took my 3 kids with me and I worked out right there. I decided, I will not be embarrassed, I will do this for me. And it was actually pretty awesome. I was not bored watching them and I used that time to work on me.
YOU CAN DO THIS. but when it gets so unbearably hard, talk to someone who supports you. Maybe all you need is to lace up those sneakers and go for a walk. Do not think about it just go. do not give yourself time to talk yourself out of it.
ONE DAY AT A TIME.

You should know the more you do this for you the better it is for your family.
So maybe that is a motivation u need. Do you want your children to look at themselves negatively as well. they always learn form us. Teach them how to have fun and take care of themselves. MAke them a part of it.
If you bring your family with you to the park, to play tennis, to do whatever it will enrich your family, and you can show them how moms can do it to.

Yeah, I'm not tracking my calories right now because I'm taking three grad classes and working and I just can't seem to make myself do it BUT I've been doing this intermittently for a year and even when I'm not "tracking," I still make sure I eat reasonably and get the same amount of exercise (which I wasn't tracking anyway since i didn't want to give myself a license to binge). No syrupy coffee drinks, reasonable portions, no going out to eat. By now I have a rough idea of how many calories a sandwich is when I make it myself, for instance. Eating out is the wild card. So yes, not to beat a dead horse but it's all about habits, habits, habits.

I don't know about you but I am LAZY FOR SURE!!! It's in my blood. If I don't want to do it, I don't. I do accept the consciences of not being able to fit any of my clothes after not doing anything to change it. That's the choice I made so I live with it so there is no need to complain nor vent.

I do not down myself other than a scolding of "you know better, do better" but nothing beyond that.
I am AMAZING no matter what size. I know that and don't need to be told that by anyone.

I have been on MFP for sometime now and I put forth no real effort for several years.

What got me really going was a 30 Day 2 mile Walk/Run challenge this past May. I had never done anything for 30 days straight so I was looking forward to the 22nd because I knew it would be a habit for sure. 2 miles was a 30-35 minute walk and I've done 3 hour walks before so that was an easy way to get started walking again although I couldn't stay at 30 minutes. I quickly got back to 1, 2, 3 hour walks.

Today was my 147 day of walking and it was a 90 minute walk with a little running & stairs. I have been walking everyday consistently since May 1st and I am not stopping. I've been on 4 vacations since May and each one I continued my daily walk as well as watched my eating/drinking. I know what got me to 224 lbs and taking more time to invest in me is worth not going back. I have had three days off: May 31st, July 31st & August 31st. Yes, I am looking forward to October 31st.
I look forward to the days off but I really look forward to seeing the pounds FALL off...

I walk in the morning preferably and absolutely nothing stops that. If I have an early morning flight and it's too dark to walk outside before leaving home, I get it done in my living room. I will walk the airport rather than sit there until my flight. I get it done everyday because I AM WORTH AT LEAST 30 MINUTES A DAY!

I have since REMOVED 26 lbs as of Sept 25th with several more to follow and they are not allowed to come back.
I am out of the 200's and staying that way.

This is a major part of my life now. It's my daily mode of activity and I'm honored to finally realized I can COMMIT to me. I take the time to be committed and honest with others, why not myself. I take the time to form real relationships that could stand the test of time, why not with myself.

Now when I put on clothes I was once spilling out of, all I can do is smile and tell me how proud I am of the changes I allowed my mind to go through. It all starts in the mind. If you want things to change, you have to change.

There is nothing better than a Made Up Mind.

My mantras are: Committed - Determined - Consistent.
One Day, One Step, One Pound at a time.

I say to you... You can do it!!!
Like anything, you have to stay committed to you and stay connected to the source (MFP).