Pardon my ignorance but...
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I don't want them to feel depraved
I'm sure you don't.
why did you buy it in the first place? If it is too unhealthy for you to eat on a regular basis then why would you allow your kid to eat it on a regular basis?
This is one of those threads that I was ready to post a reply after reading the OP.
Unhealthy, or calorie dense? Or do you mean something else, like 'hyperpalatable?' ( aka, the dreaded word.... 'addictive' ) You might want to define 'unhealthy,' before you throw that word around here.
My son is 16. He's an athlete and is rather skinny and would like to gain weight. He works hard at his sport, he works out, and he tries to eat well. He also likes cookies after dinner. He has no problem with cookies at all. He eats a reasonable amount of cookies, and stops. And still, he isn't gaining the weight he'd like. Me, on the other hand? I have a huge problem with cookies. I binge on them more often that I'd care to admit. ( Unless you creep my diary... I have a special entry for 'binges' )
I do almost all the grocery shopping,and we use a premade list, and he and daWife just highlight the stuff they want. He wants cookies? He gets cookies. Maybe I should tell him that since I have a problem with cookies, that we can't have cookies in the house. But, the way I see it, it's my F*in' problem, and why should I punish a 16 yr old kid, for my problem? He laughs at me, when I scarf down his cookies, and tell him I have a problem. I'm a grownass man, I look like a *kitten* not being able to control my cookie intake. And you know what? I think this post has been very helpful to me.
So, thanks for that. I feel like I just made my first speech at AA.
My name is sloth, and I'm a cookie-aholic.
You're right. I'm not being fair by not defining the word 'unhealthy'. I will try and add that to my first post. I guess what I mean by unhealthy is more of unnecessary. If I had a kid and they were hungry I would rather they eat veggies over a cupcake because they won't be kids forever and I want them to have proper nutrients as they grow.
When I was in high school I could eat whatever I wanted and it didn't matter. Then right out of high school I got a VERY physically intensive job so I could keep eating like that. Then my back gave out and I got a teaching job but I had no idea how to control what I ate or even what was in my food because it had never mattered to me before. It had never been taught to me so I didn't know I had a problem until 5 years and 60 lbs down the road.
I want to have kids that can be healthy and happy kids but I also want them to be able to be healthy happy adults whether they are an athlete or have a desk job and I think for that to be true they have to be aware of what it is in their food.
My goal was never to demand they could never have it ever because I have a problem but to teach them what it means when they eat certain types of food so they can make informed choices later in life.
It just seems to me like letting a kid eat whatever they ask for without the surrounding education is a setup for failure. Though granted when I say kid I am usually referring the to 10 and under crowd. (My mum say's I'll grow out of that when I have kids.)
Kudos on your son understanding what he eats and being able to eat in moderation but since he is still growing wouldn't it be beneficial to let a nutritionist or doctor input on his diet if he is trying to gain?
My brother was 6'3" and 125lbs when he was 16 because he didn't understand how food worked as far as caloric density, macros, general required nutrients to be healthy and all that jazz. And he got really sick before he asked for help. Even now at 25 he struggles to maintain his weight at 140lbs. If he isn't very careful he starts dropping weight again. Both my and my bro's problem seems like they would be whole avoidable if my parents had educated us about food.0 -
): I don't want them to feel depraved I'm just hoping that there is a way for them to want to chose healthy nutrition on their own. My husband was raised with no soda in the house and so he just doesn't care for it. It's too sweet for him. Same thing with stuff like cookies and cake type stuff. Him and his siblings just plain don't like them. I think that's more what my ideal universe would be.my daughters were raised in the same manner as you describe. Eating healthy. guess what ! When they grew up and were on their own in college. They ate what they had been "deprived" of when growing up. Good luck :-) now I say give and take
In the event they do have a sweet tooth like me I will aim for moderation over depravation.
I have a feeling my bubble is going to get popped today. XD
There is a big difference between feeling deprived and feeling depraved. Though I suppose the first condition could lead to the second.
I lol'd when I saw that. Thank you for catching it.0 -
Here's my problem--I go to the store and buy healthy stuff. The hubby will go the store and buy the junk as a way to sabotage me. And then he'll eat it right in front of me or WORSE--he'll prepare some for me too and then get mad if he took the time to make it and I won't eat it. I don't have any small children at home anymore but the problem still goes on
^^This. I was told that I'm not allowed to grocery shop anymore because I spend too much money on healthy food and if I want to eat that way, I can do it at work and buy it with my own money. The problem with this is my kids would rather eat healthy but because of the control freak nature of my husband, he doesn't care. Not everyone is lucky enough to have supportive spouses. Yes, we can choose what to put in our mouths, but when you are hungry, you eat what is available.
:noway: :noway: :noway:
I'm leaving it at that. Anything further and I'll probably earn myself a strike.0 -
You're absolutely right, as a general rule, we do not allow it in my house, and we have a 5 year old.
Now we do have some junk food, that has no more than 15 grams of sugar, but we only give them half a serving.0 -
Here's my problem--I go to the store and buy healthy stuff. The hubby will go the store and buy the junk as a way to sabotage me. And then he'll eat it right in front of me or WORSE--he'll prepare some for me too and then get mad if he took the time to make it and I won't eat it. I don't have any small children at home anymore but the problem still goes on
either tell him no thank you
or
take the time to return it back to the store,
or
Throw it out, or put it in his car.0 -
As the father of 7 I try to keep mostly healthy stuff around. But we do have some not so great things as rewards. The best bet for anyone is not to try to eliminate any food item you enjoy, you will just crave it more. Eat any thing just track it and stay under your calorie goal if you are trying to lose weight..
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Here's my problem--I go to the store and buy healthy stuff. The hubby will go the store and buy the junk as a way to sabotage me. And then he'll eat it right in front of me or WORSE--he'll prepare some for me too and then get mad if he took the time to make it and I won't eat it. I don't have any small children at home anymore but the problem still goes on
^^This. I was told that I'm not allowed to grocery shop anymore because I spend too much money on healthy food and if I want to eat that way, I can do it at work and buy it with my own money. The problem with this is my kids would rather eat healthy but because of the control freak nature of my husband, he doesn't care. Not everyone is lucky enough to have supportive spouses. Yes, we can choose what to put in our mouths, but when you are hungry, you eat what is available.
If you and your kids go on a "Food strike" and let the junk food go to waste. your husband will have a change of heart.0 -
My problem with that is my husband is a manager at a grocery store. I do not buy junk but he certainly brings it home.0
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My 10 year old has been raised on whole foods and junk. You just balance it out. She hasn't been ill in over 3 years now and has even gotten 3 years of perfect attendance at school. Going for the 4th one now.
Moderation works. Extremes in "healthy and junk" don't IMO. I keep ice cream, flavored wheat thins, some chips and candy in the house, along with grapes, white nectarines, bananas, apples and a boatload of vegetables too. She eat all of them. I DON'T let her have the bag of chips, I pour some out in a bowl and let her know that's it for the day. That's what parents are supposed to do..............set limits.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
oh boy... well, if you are one of those people that believe extremes work...
i'm not. any extreme is asking to fail, it is just a matter of time.
i didn't grow up with much "junk food"/snacks/soda/etc growing up. this had little, if nothing, to do with health - we were POOR. (we did drink a lot of kool-aid - that is super cheap.)
so what happened when i had an income after college? oh i bought all the snacks and i ATE all the snacks. took nutrition classes all through growing up. i knew how i should be eating and didn't make one difference. i didn't have the habits engrained for a healthy balance of what to eat and how much. i just wanted what i couldn't/didn't have before (didn't matter the reason).
TLTR - personal experience, don't restrict your kids (or anyone else). teach them about balance. no food is "good" or "bad."0 -
It's my responsibility to moderate my own diet. I don't blame my family. I have my own fitness goals. I don't impose that on my family. Kids can have treats and snacks. They are kids. I have a bit less. And I want to save them for them, not eat it all. It's normal that as a 36 year old dancer I may eat differently from kids. And they are young and still growing. Over restriction on a child's diet is counter productive in the long run. I rather they enjoy variety.0
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My 10 year old has been raised on whole foods and junk. You just balance it out. She hasn't been ill in over 3 years now and has even gotten 3 years of perfect attendance at school. Going for the 4th one now.
Moderation works. Extremes in "healthy and junk" don't IMO. I keep ice cream, flavored wheat thins, some chips and candy in the house, along with grapes, white nectarines, bananas, apples and a boatload of vegetables too. She eats all of them. I DON'T let her have the bag of chips, I pour some out in a bowl and let her know that's it for the day. That's what parents are supposed to do..............set limits.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
omg. i think this is the very first time i can whole heartedly agree with your response. had to comment!!!0 -
So, thanks for that. I feel like I just made my first speech at AA.
My name is sloth, and I'm a cookie-aholic.
Hi sloth. My name is turtle and I am a peanut butter addict.
We all have our demons and mine is sitting on that shelf calling my name, begging me to grab a spoon and indulge. I resist, usually, but to banish it forever from my house? Nay, I say. I tried that once and my 16yo daughter took the whole peanuts in the other cupboard and made her own damn batch of peanut butter. I gave up and kept buying the jars.
This is my own personal war to fight, nobody else's.0 -
When I was a kid I was not allowed "junk", sweets, things I wanted. I would go to friend's homes and eat as much food as they would let me. Restriction just makes kids want it more. It's better to allow indulgences and teach moderation and self control. As a teen I also developed anorexia. But, it was short lived, and I fully recovered.0
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Agree with this. My 17 year old has been raised the same way. I keep a LOT of "treats", especially very high calories treats in the house - my husband has always been UNDERweight and struggles to keep the pounds on. I just don't eat, or eat very little, of some of their treats.0
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I don't have kids so people are going to have to pardon my ignorance about this but it is really driving me nuts. I don't post often but I skim through the boards on a regular basis and I see a lot of parents on MFP who have a problem of their kids or spouse tempting their diet with all this unhealthy food. Like Doritos or Cookies, Cupcakes. Whatever. And every time I read that my knee jerk reaction is why did you buy it in the first place? If it is too unhealthy for you to eat on a regular basis then why would you allow your kid to eat it on a regular basis?
One of my primary goals for loosing weight and eating healthy is so when hubby and I have kids we can set better examples for them so they won't have to go through what I did. I want to teach them about proper nutrition from an early age and lead by example. So I guess I'm just confused. Like in my house we don't keep soda or cookies. (I have my 100 cal snack packs but those are being phased out too). We want the unhealthy to be in moderation and to us that means not readily available whenever they decide they want it.
My friends with kids have been able to successfully get their kids to go for fruit and veggies when they have the munchies or it's movie night and that is something I want too. It's not even forceful. I've offered a 5 year old chocolate pie and had them request carrot sticks with ranch instead with no prompting from parent. I think it's awesome.
So enlighten me MFP Parents because I feel like I am missing something.
Edited for paragraphs per request.
I haven't read any of the other responses, so maybe I'm repeating someone else.
We have chips in our house, sometimes candy, or ice cream. My husband likes that stuff and he's a healthy, grown man that gets to decide what he eats. Luckily, I still eat chips and candy when I want to, too. I just make sure they fit into my goals.
My kids are also allowed chips and candy sometimes. I do not believe in restricting things, but teaching moderation to my kids. So sometimes they have chips with their sandwich, grapes and yogurt. Most of the time they don't. We talk a lot about healthy choices, moderation and "frequent foods" vs "sometimes foods". They make their own breakfasts and lunches and they make really great choices (which sometimes even surprise me!).
90% of the time, they pick the apple or carrots over anything else. I don't think the other 10% is doing them harm.0 -
I don't want them to feel depraved
I'm sure you don't.
why did you buy it in the first place? If it is too unhealthy for you to eat on a regular basis then why would you allow your kid to eat it on a regular basis?
This is one of those threads that I was ready to post a reply after reading the OP.
Unhealthy, or calorie dense? Or do you mean something else, like 'hyperpalatable?' ( aka, the dreaded word.... 'addictive' ) You might want to define 'unhealthy,' before you throw that word around here.
My son is 16. He's an athlete and is rather skinny and would like to gain weight. He works hard at his sport, he works out, and he tries to eat well. He also likes cookies after dinner. He has no problem with cookies at all. He eats a reasonable amount of cookies, and stops. And still, he isn't gaining the weight he'd like. Me, on the other hand? I have a huge problem with cookies. I binge on them more often that I'd care to admit. ( Unless you creep my diary... I have a special entry for 'binges' )
I do almost all the grocery shopping,and we use a premade list, and he and daWife just highlight the stuff they want. He wants cookies? He gets cookies. Maybe I should tell him that since I have a problem with cookies, that we can't have cookies in the house. But, the way I see it, it's my F*in' problem, and why should I punish a 16 yr old kid, for my problem? He laughs at me, when I scarf down his cookies, and tell him I have a problem. I'm a grownass man, I look like a *kitten* not being able to control my cookie intake. And you know what? I think this post has been very helpful to me.
So, thanks for that. I feel like I just made my first speech at AA.
My name is sloth, and I'm a cookie-aholic.
You're right. I'm not being fair by not defining the word 'unhealthy'. I will try and add that to my first post. I guess what I mean by unhealthy is more of unnecessary. If I had a kid and they were hungry I would rather they eat veggies over a cupcake because they won't be kids forever and I want them to have proper nutrients as they grow.
When I was in high school I could eat whatever I wanted and it didn't matter. Then right out of high school I got a VERY physically intensive job so I could keep eating like that. Then my back gave out and I got a teaching job but I had no idea how to control what I ate or even what was in my food because it had never mattered to me before. It had never been taught to me so I didn't know I had a problem until 5 years and 60 lbs down the road.
I want to have kids that can be healthy and happy kids but I also want them to be able to be healthy happy adults whether they are an athlete or have a desk job and I think for that to be true they have to be aware of what it is in their food.
My goal was never to demand they could never have it ever because I have a problem but to teach them what it means when they eat certain types of food so they can make informed choices later in life.
It just seems to me like letting a kid eat whatever they ask for without the surrounding education is a setup for failure. Though granted when I say kid I am usually referring the to 10 and under crowd. (My mum say's I'll grow out of that when I have kids.)
Kudos on your son understanding what he eats and being able to eat in moderation but since he is still growing wouldn't it be beneficial to let a nutritionist or doctor input on his diet if he is trying to gain?
My brother was 6'3" and 125lbs when he was 16 because he didn't understand how food worked as far as caloric density, macros, general required nutrients to be healthy and all that jazz. And he got really sick before he asked for help. Even now at 25 he struggles to maintain his weight at 140lbs. If he isn't very careful he starts dropping weight again. Both my and my bro's problem seems like they would be whole avoidable if my parents had educated us about food.
I believe nutrition plays a big part in overall health. I think my wife and I have done a pretty good job of teaching my son the benefits of proper nutrition. He's also influenced of course by successful athletes, such as his trainer, who encourages him to eat a lot of steak.... a college coach who told him and his teammates that 'wheaties with chocolate milk' is the ultimate post-workout meal. I dunno about 'the ultimate,' but it doesn't sound too bad to me. Unfortunately, we're Canadian, and I can't find Wheaties in any Canadian supermarkets. So, tangent... if anyone can put me onto a Canadian Wheaties supply..... ??? You see, I parent like that. He's a level headed kid, he has goals, he doesn't cause me any real grief.... so, I do what I can to further his goals. He wants Wheaties and steak and chocolate milk? I try to provide it. He's pretty much rejected most fast food lately, he won't eat McDonalds, and aside from his weekly Friday lunch out at school, will pretty much only eat Pita Pit or Subway for Fast Food Fridays at home.
He doesn't eat cookies to gain weight. He eats cookies because he likes them. So, I'm not saying he couldn't benefit from further lessons in nutrition. But, he eats well, and has control over his eating. I just don't see why I should make him suffer (no cookies in the house ) just because I have a problem.
I should say, that when he was younger, his sweets intake was controlled... as well as his 'junk food' intake.... he wasn't given unlimited access to cookies and 'stuff,' until we knew he was able to handle it. I'm not advocating giving a 3 yr old a box of Oreos and telling him / her to have at it.0 -
My 10 year old has been raised on whole foods and junk. You just balance it out. She hasn't been ill in over 3 years now and has even gotten 3 years of perfect attendance at school. Going for the 4th one now.
Moderation works. Extremes in "healthy and junk" don't IMO. I keep ice cream, flavored wheat thins, some chips and candy in the house, along with grapes, white nectarines, bananas, apples and a boatload of vegetables too. She eat all of them. I DON'T let her have the bag of chips, I pour some out in a bowl and let her know that's it for the day. That's what parents are supposed to do..............set limits.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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So, thanks for that. I feel like I just made my first speech at AA.
My name is sloth, and I'm a cookie-aholic.
Hi sloth. My name is turtle and I am a peanut butter addict.
Welcome Turtle. I've never actually been to an AA meeting, although I am an ex-drunk. The comedian in me wants to offer you a coffee and a cigarette, but that would be inconsiderate to other real AA members here. So, I won't.
I'm just not sure what we are supposed to do now. Perhaps you could tell a story about how you woke up face down in a jar of peanut butter?0 -
My husband does the shopping. He buys what we put on the list but he buys some snacks, too. I think he has cut down. The kids eat snacks at friend's houses, too. No one tries to sabotage me, but I have to decide if eating that cookie is worth it.
People have mentioned moderation. That is key in calorie laden food or screen time or most things.
I was one of 7 kids and we ate what was offered, but i would eat big portions of things I liked because I didn't t know if I would have it again. Like bowls of ice cream. I didn't have weight or health problems but I was pretty active. Fruit would disappear. Someone mentioned kool-aid, we always had that.0
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