My husband doesn't get it!

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courtrptr13
courtrptr13 Posts: 272
in Health and Weight Loss
My husband is a thin guy and never has to worry about his weight. He eats junk all the time and it has no affect on him. He's active, but never exercises. I'm trying to lose 25 - 30 lbs after having a baby 7 months ago. I'm trying so hard to eat healthy and exercise, but he's driving me nuts! He thinks he has all the answers of what I should be doing to take the weight off - eat nothing but tuna fish and chicken is basically his theory. I'm getting so angry at him. I've told him over and over that this is not a diet, I'm changing my eating habits so I can keep the weight off. He's a big meat and potatoes type of guy and doesn't really like a lot of the same things I like so it's hard to cook the same foods for the two of us. Anyone else deal with this and how do you handle it?
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Replies

  • Jag13760
    Jag13760 Posts: 23
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    Yes. I just this week gave up. I decided to have will power to make his (and my adult kids who are back home) meals and make my own separate. I do all my exercising while he is at work and do not discuss my diet with him at all. If he offers me anything I need to stay strong enough to say no thanks!


    And no...it is not easy.
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
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    hmm- my bf is really supportive so no. But i think if he weren't I would make the healthy food I want and let him cook what ever kind of crap he wants to eat for himself if he's going to be a pain about it. but thats just me, I get cranky.
  • CFAITH_WARD
    CFAITH_WARD Posts: 281 Member
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    Mine goes behind my back while I am cooking and orders a pizza or something.
  • MelissaL582
    MelissaL582 Posts: 1,422 Member
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    When I first started this journey, my husband had his doubts and I don't blame him. I've always gave up on my weight loss many times. Here I am on day 27 and 11lbs down. My husband sees how committed I am and gives me input when I ask. He supports me now, which I love. ♥ I do make separate meals for myself and my family. This is my lifestyle change, not theirs. They're healthy and I'm not.
  • nalia08
    nalia08 Posts: 252
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    Well, it's all about will power! My Fiance' and I like different food items as well. You have to compensate by pre-cooking or pre-packing some of the food. Make some days easier on yourself. Like eating salads are easy to prepare for yourself. Other foods that require seasoning, make them add thier own so you are not forced to taste it and add to it. Or have them taste it. Try buying pre-cooked food from Walmart, Kroger or Target. They have roasted chicken, fried and baked. Or Kroger has a pot roast where all you have to do is mix it and bake it! You have to get creative! I hope this helps! Good luck!
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    Cook what you want to eat and if he wants something different he can cook it himself. Remember you are doing this for you.
  • oxFaithxo
    oxFaithxo Posts: 160 Member
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    YES! My fiance is a big guy 6'2 about 270, but has always been a bigger guy and we both love him like that. NOW i am 5'2 (on a good day) and 166lbs. I am not huge more shapely but i gained alot of weight after our first child.

    He eats EVERYTHING, he ate a whole box of twinkies in 2 days... and he is always offering me a bite of his candy bars, or cakes, or twinkies, and then when i tell him no... he says well its just a bite... but a bite turns into me wanting 2 bites and so on.

    He tells me all the time you look good, you dont need to lose weight, and i try to explain to him it isnt for him it is for me, I dont feel good.

    I guess i dont have any advice... i just wanted to vent.

    I will say when i am at work (away from him) i do eat as healthy as i can, that way when i get home if he does cook STEAK AND POTATOS i just limit my portions and dont feel guilty for eating what the rest of the famnily is having :)
  • nalia08
    nalia08 Posts: 252
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    Wow! I'm not sure what to say to this! Look at it this way, it lets you off the hook from cooking for him!
  • jroulo
    jroulo Posts: 50 Member
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    I've been cooking seperately for probably over two years. Sometimes I steal some of his hamburg for his spagetti to make my salad a taco salad. I frequently eat a small portion of the meat I cooked for him with a big portion of vegis while he eats his potatoes and gravy.
  • JayAlexander
    JayAlexander Posts: 268 Member
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    Your house should not be a restaurant, your husband should be perfectly capable to make whatever he want to eat if he choose not to eat what you are making. He will either chance his tune and eat what you make or cook for himself. Trust me, it works. My meat and potato boyfriend now eats fruits and veggies everyday, fiber cereal with non fat milk, whole wheat pasta and drinks lots of water!!!! It can be done. You just have to be a little selfish =)
  • dmcg123
    dmcg123 Posts: 14 Member
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    While it may not help, you might remind your hubby that thin and healthy are independent traits. I've read other posts like yours and the best advice (besides "dump the chump!" which is the most common but perhaps not the best...) I've seen is to try including him whenever possible. If he says he doesn't need exercise to be fit, just say you'd like his company at the gym. Maybe challenge him a little by saying he should take a cardio test just to gauge how fit he is. A lot of us guys are game for a challenge... especially when we think we'll win (maybe I'm revealing too much here about how men are wired?)! And when we don't, well, we try to change the outcome (e.g. he may become a health fanatic to the extreme!).

    Good luck, stay strong and be healthy! If he won't join you on your journey, make it your own, then spend his life insurance money on a beach home and a 20 year old hardbody (kidding, of course!).
  • OLP76
    OLP76 Posts: 768 Member
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    My Husband is very supportived of my new lifestyle, its just not to lose the weight and than stop. Its forever until I pass away. My Husband too is goin' to be 27 in July and he is slim as can be. about 5'8, 125-130lbs. He can eat whatever he pleases and doesn't need to think about anythin'. I use to be the sameway when I was his age, he is 8 years younger than me.
    Maybe tell your Husband kindly to be supportived of your new meal plan and lifestyle and stress to him that it 'doesn't know it all'...and it makes you discourage when he isn't bein' supportive. best wishes on what you decide to do with him..
  • Tracy23
    Tracy23 Posts: 1
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    My kids give me more crap than my husband does. I make a healthy meat and a couple of sides including veggies and a salad. I eat what I want and they eat what they want (within reason, of course).

    Good luck with it. It's so hard to do when someone is hampering your efforts. I agree with one of the other posters - do what you need to do without discussing it with him. Hopefully, he'll get it when your weight starts coming off.
  • bethrs
    bethrs Posts: 664 Member
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    I am a pescatarian (only eat fish in terms of meat), and so I've been cooking mine and my husband's food separately for a long long time now. Sometimes I can make him a salad when I make mine and then I pop his main dish in the oven/on the grill/ stove and set about cooking mine. Most of the foods I eat are easy to cook because they are all veggies, easy to bake tofu, or something from a can (beans, etc.). So I can generally cook my food once I have his started. I guess I used to see it as annoying, but it's just the way I do things now.

    Plus, I weigh all my food. (or otherwise portion control) so it is always a separate process anyway.
  • Zabarilla
    Zabarilla Posts: 16 Member
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    I just cook what I want for the most part. When I do cook meals he would prefer I just tweak my calories durning the day. But for the most part I had to stop listening to him and ignore/ cut back on the junk brought into the house. My husband is supportive of me wanting to lose weight and get healthy. He is my cheerleader. But with him being a Marine he could, for the time being, eat all the junk he wanted and be the meat and potatoes kinda guy. A little while ago he got put on light duty and gained weight. A lot by the Corps standards. So I now have him more on board with me. The veggies are eaten first off the plate now. I think you have to have a healthy balance between what you want and what he wants as far as meals.
  • MonsteRawr
    MonsteRawr Posts: 95 Member
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    My general rule when I cook is that I'm going to cook once. If my husband doesn't like what I cook, he knows where the deli meat is.

    That being said, we sit down together at the beginning of the week and discuss our meals for the week together. This is my husband's chance to voice his opinion and have some input on the matter, so he is usually okay with my meal choices. Maybe a conversation between you two could reveal some compromises to be had.

    And if he's not willing to compromise, feel free to had him a package of bologna!
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    I wouldnt expect anyone to be on a 'diet' with me. So I guess I would cook separate meals. Or get him to fend for himself. Depends if he is capable?

    As for his lack of support, just dont tell him what you're doing. It's pretty boring for someone that has never had to worry about it, plus they dont have a clue, so what's the point?

    Work this on your own, log on here for support, and/or try and find a girlfriend who wants to lose weight too.

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    My husband was the same way until he decided he wanted to gain muscle mass. Then he started doing a lot of his own research and figured out for himself that it was about a lifestyle change and that healthy and natural is the way to go. He also wants to set our kids up with good habits that neither one of us were taught about the importance of nutrition and exercise.
  • lizettmcintosh
    lizettmcintosh Posts: 1
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    When I first started this journey, my husband had his doubts and I don't blame him. I've always gave up on my weight loss many times. Here I am on day 27 and 11lbs down. My husband sees how committed I am and gives me input when I ask. He supports me now, which I love. ♥ I do make separate meals for myself and my family. This is my lifestyle change, not theirs. They're healthy and I'm not.
    Congrats!!! I am going thru the same thing... but i guess u proved him wrong... im focused and really committed this time.
    Great story.
  • kymyas
    kymyas Posts: 10
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    Me too! and on occasions I have done that. My hubby is skinny too & loves to eat chips straight out of the bag too. I also have kids and its either you eat what mama eats or help yourself to whatever is in the fridge. Usually they eat the homecooked/healthy meals I make.

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