Feeling alone and frustrated!

traluvsfrogs
traluvsfrogs Posts: 4 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I'm going to try this again! I stopped using MFP 18 months ago and I never even gave it a chance, ,so I'm going to start over again! I'm so tired of being FAT and not having any energy. I have 4 kids and they're growing up so fast. I've got to lose this weight so I can take them to the park, skating, 6-Flags, swimming, etc. All they want is for their mommy to spend time with them and I just run into my bedroom everyday after work and on weekends because I have no energy and I don't want to be around people. My husband begged me to go to Vegas with him in December because in 15 yrs, we've never gone anywhere together. What did I tell him? No, I'm too fat and I won't fit in the seats, plus I'll be miserable looking at all the skinny, fit women! The thing that gets me is he knows I want so bad to lose weight, but he brings home fast food, chocolate candy bars, cokes, donuts, etc. I wanted to do the weight loss surgery, but he's not having it because he thinks it's too dangerous, oh ok....100lbs overweight's not dangerous!? I just started a program called Genesis. It's not for weight loss, it's mainly to get healthier and have energy through vitamins, etc. I never dreamed I'd ever look like this and I know it's going to be extremely hard to lose 100lbs, but my life is passing me by so fast and I'm tired of being depressed and unhappy because of FAT!!! I apologize this is so long, but I really needed to get this off my chest. I have no friends on MFP, and I'm still not sure how all of this works. I'm going to log my food and exercise and hopefully make this work. Thank you for listening and it's comforting to know I'm not alone on MFP:)
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Replies

  • PBWaffleCakes
    PBWaffleCakes Posts: 900 Member
    I started out alone in my journey (140.7 pounds journey) its not easy. My brothers are super skinny and can eat whatever they want and still do. But once you realize that you can lose the 100 pounds without surgery and start believing in yourself the easy part will be eating right and exercising. One thing I had to let go was blaming others. They are allowed to eat what they want and they sometimes may forget and bring me something home but I do not have to stick it in my mouth! I have many times said that's I appreciate it but I can't and either trash it or put it in containers for someone else to enjoy. You will have UPS and down but just remember if you stop you have to restart all over. Its easy to keep moving forward.
  • thegreatcanook
    thegreatcanook Posts: 2,419 Member
    Commitment and patience and you can do this! Feel free to add me for support!
  • lizzie14115
    lizzie14115 Posts: 77 Member
    Hello!, and welcome to MFP, my name is Catrina and i would love to be friends with you. We can do this together with all the other friends you will soon have :smile:
  • lizmedrano
    lizmedrano Posts: 123 Member
    Welcome Back! While I still have quite a way to go towards my final goal, I have found that commitment, ownership for my decisions (my husband eats junk all the time in front of me... I choose to say NO), logging EVERYTHING (it is my best tool for success), and most of wanting to be healthy has helped me lose what I have lost to date. I now exercise most days of the week and am training for a half marathon (I always dreamed about it but never put it into action until now). My point is you are in charge of you and you can make this happen! We are here to support you!! MFP is awesome and the people here are awesome!

    Feel free to add me as a friend. Best of luck to you and your new lifestyle!
  • traluvsfrogs
    traluvsfrogs Posts: 4 Member
    Wow! You've lost a lot! I bet you feel so much better. Congrats! You should be so proud of yourself:happy:
  • traluvsfrogs
    traluvsfrogs Posts: 4 Member
    Thank you for all of your encouragement and advice:flowerforyou: It means a lot!
  • Cloud2103
    Cloud2103 Posts: 3 Member
    I am with you and I just started back also. I am also cigarette free for 15 days as of today after 22 years, All so I can be healthier for myself and my children. Hang in there we can do it :)
  • MsWendyjc
    MsWendyjc Posts: 63 Member
    Always happy to find woman around my age looking for friends and supporting each other ..

    Have sent a request :)



    Wendy
  • Jesea
    Jesea Posts: 376 Member
    I wish you all the best! You can do this....and although it isn't easy, it's definitely worth it!
  • campo3
    campo3 Posts: 1
    You can do this! Don't give up :)
  • Natashalou15
    Natashalou15 Posts: 18 Member
    Your back now and with support and advice you will do it!! :smile:
  • Shirotora88
    Shirotora88 Posts: 121
    Welcome back to MFP, I have lost so far 119 using MFP I still have 66lbs left to go. Its a long journey but its very rewarding watching the weight go down. I wish you the best of luck.
  • Rochester_mom
    Rochester_mom Posts: 100 Member
    I understand that same sense of frustration and hopelessness. Just sent a friend request!
  • melissa968
    melissa968 Posts: 57 Member
    Congratulations on making the commitment to get healthier!

    It is long and hard, but it is definitely doable. Having support and friendship on MFP makes it easier and more fun.
    I'm a non-smoker for 6 weeks now. I've gained almost 20lbs. in that 6 weeks. I needed to quit smoking to better my health and extend my life and now I need to do the same with the weight. Gaining that 20 lbs put me at about 40 lbs. total overweight. I find that being on MFP and hearing others' stories, suggestions and advice, along with diligently logging everything, helps tremendously!

    You can do it :) I've send you a friend request.
  • roblc1
    roblc1 Posts: 3
    I am working on losing quite a bit of weight myself after not being active for many years. Would love to do this together. Will send a friend request if I can figure it out. If not feel free to send me one and we can work on this together.
  • pita7317
    pita7317 Posts: 1,437 Member
    I have been here now just a little over a year.
    If you have any questions about the website I can probably help out.
    Speaking from my experience, these three things really helped me in the beginning.
    Be patient. Takes time.
    Don't think about your overall total weight loss goal. Set small goals , like 4-5 lbs in two weeks ? Each time you hit a mini goal it will motivate you and make you happy.
    If you don't have one, get a food scale.
  • pita7317
    pita7317 Posts: 1,437 Member
    I think you should go to Vegas, especially since your husband begged you.
    Maybe not in December if you are uncomfortable with the trip but make that a goal too !
    Tell him you will go when you lose say 30lbs ?
  • iSpeakSparkle
    iSpeakSparkle Posts: 3 Member
    Just like anything else, take it day by day! My mantra for the year is "No Excuses!" I made a basic plan. I work out six days a week for 1 hour alternating eliptical and brisk walking on treadmill (if I'm sore that day, I allow myself to only do 35 or 20, but I do something), I also do weights (alternating legs and arms) and that is my goal every day. My calorie goal is 1400 with high protein/low carb; I eat protein every 3 hours to keep my metabolism going constantly with a protein goal of 105-125 per day (this is only for weight loss and monitored by my Dr.) I lost 44 lbs, but have been in a holding pattern for 2 months, but I don't let that frustrate me. I just keep on going and eventually I will bust out of my plateau! Just keep the faith! Keep on going! You can do it! My husband and I eat out a lot and I am the queen of the under 500 calorie menu. I keep snacks around like string cheese, and greek yogurt! Planning is key! Spouses do have a way of sabotaging even without meaning to, but ultimately you just need to learn to say no to those bad foods! I have become a purposeful eater, meaning that if I only have 1400 calories, do I want to eat something that puts me over that without giving me the protein or vitamins that I need? The answer is usually, No so I make the choice to help me get to my goal. Only YOU can do that. Good Luck!
  • Jess11Gold
    Jess11Gold Posts: 154 Member
    I feel you! I lost 63 and have almost gained it all back. I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant and so down about all the weight. I am looking for other motivating moms too who understand this struggle! Sending you a request..
  • aquaticbliss
    aquaticbliss Posts: 6 Member
    I too am restarting and have 100 lbs to lose. I had lost over 70 lbs 5 years ago only to quickly regain it. I need to lose this weight and keep it off once and for all! I am a grandmother who has lost time with my grand kids because I was too big to try things, too uncomfortable to go places... The good news is that we are here starting over and not giving up on ourselves! Too much life has past us by...but we can change all that...starting now. Here's to our success!
  • sandraeward
    sandraeward Posts: 28 Member
    I now weigh the same as I did the day I had my youngest son.He's five...
    I sent you a friend request.
  • kkimpel
    kkimpel Posts: 303 Member
    ssl

    It isn't easy, but you can do it. You're young. I have yoyo'd my whole life and my ex was the same.. for him love was sugar and fat .. I have worked since 2011 to finally meet my goal o 80 lbs .. now I'd like to go down about 5 more, but I'm ok if I don't .

    If you do this and maintain this NOW you will avoid all of the health issues, your body is young enough to recoup.. Talk to your family doctor, because your insurance may cover a visit to a nutritionist and/or diet program. Many insurances do now, because obesity is such a health problem.

    One day at a time.. one small goal at a time.

    What can you do today? Set a goal and do it. Then each time you set a goal, you will have more confidence in yourself. It will make the next goal more attainable.

    I started with just not stopping for fast food and walking down the block. I added a block a day then one day I decided to go a mile ... I added not stopping for fast food and bringing a healthy lunch every day. Now each day I leave the house with ALL of my food of the day in a bag... and I walk at least 5 miles a day, and most days those walks are on mountain trails. But I started 3 years ago, and failed a bit last year.. and had to get back on the bike again.

    You can do this, there is nothing special about me or my life that makes it easier.. Let me recommend this book to you

    Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You Paperback – March 4, 1998
    by Susan Forward (Author), Donna Frazier (Author)

    I read this book to help my stepdaughter .. but discovered that I also lived in fear obligation and guilt.. and because of it I loathed myself too much to be healthy .. I can't explain how my life changed, except to say it was one small goal at a time .. and one more block of self worth added to my empty store ..

    Good luck dear.. and feel free to add me
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
    I am with you and I just started back also. I am also cigarette free for 15 days as of today after 22 years, All so I can be healthier for myself and my children. Hang in there we can do it :)

    Super congratulations on quitting the cigs! You are going to LOVE, LOVE,LOVE being a non-smoker. I quit 4 months ago and all I can say is I wish I had tried years before.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    There are many, many people here who have lost 100Ibs, and a fair few who have lost 200Ibs plus. If they can do it, so can you.
    The key is that this is NOT a diet. It needs to be a sustainable lifestyle change that you can maintain for life.
    It is when people make changes that are too extreme, too drastic, that things tend to go wrong and they give up.
    You need to stick with it, even at times when you get fed up or feel you have failed etc.
    If you have a bad day, move on from it and carry on, without using it as an excuse to just give up and go all out.
    Make gradual changes, and try to aim for 80% nutritious, healthy foods and the other 20% foods you love and do not want to give up, that might not be so healthy. Those with the best success here, seem to be those who continue to have a bit of chocolate, a bit of ice cream, a meal out here and there, but balanced within an overall healthy lifestyle.

    Try to not focus entirely on the scale, life goes on and you still have to keep living while doing this, so just see it as part of your new life, from this day on. If hubby brings home junk, ignore it, or just have a serving. He will soon get the message. And remind him that unless you lose weight, you stand the risk of not being with him as long as he might like.

    Gather a good group of friends here, for support and encouragement, and most of all, Never Give Up.
  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
    Well you've certainly come to the right place. Welcome back. :)

    One day at a time and one pound at a time. It IS doable.

    If you are dead set against going on a trip now, that is a great goal to set for later.

    :smile:
  • gmdaniel
    gmdaniel Posts: 44 Member
    No you're not alone! We are all here on this journey.:heart:
  • Cloud2103
    Cloud2103 Posts: 3 Member
    I am exactly that also and my youngest just turned 8.:indifferent:
  • joanthemom8
    joanthemom8 Posts: 375 Member
    I don't have a lot of weight to lose (constantly battling the last 10 pounds) but my motivation for me was the same as yours: my kids. I'm an older mom - I had my youngest, my daughter, at age 38 and she's now 10. I wanted to be able to keep up with her (and my son, who's 16). I'm 48, I track my food everyday and I have incorporated exercise into my (almost) daily life. Began running at age 46 and ran my 1st 5K at 46. Last weekend my daughter and I ran a 5k together (she left me in the dust, LOL). We ride bikes together, go rollerskating, etc. My mom was the same age as I was when she had me and she alwasy stuck out as the oldest mom mostly because of her inactivity. That's one thing I didn't want to repeat.

    I have issues with my husband, too. He's never said he thought I needed to lose weight, but he actually gets annoyed when I try to watch what I eat. I do all of the shopping, so he doesn't bring "goodies" home, but we work together and he always (I mean every day) wants to go out to lunch. Even if I'm careful with what I eat, it's still hard..... but I have to take the ultimate responsibility for myself. So,sometimes I bring my own food to the office and just say "no" to him. Or if we do go to lunch, I just make up for it the rest of the day.

    Good luck to you. I'm going to send you a friend request too....I also like to have friends near my age.
  • Fsunami
    Fsunami Posts: 241 Member
    The best place to begin is at the beginning.

    All you have to do is lose 1 pound 95 times. Not 95 pounds, all at once.

    That kick to get it done comes from inside....

    The fact you are reaching out and being honest about your struggle is a sign of growth and progress, for which you should be commended. Take comfort in that.

    The difference between MFP and everything else? If you adopt the mindset that its a lifestyle change & not a diet, the rest will fall into place.

    The past is done. The future will be here soon enough. Try and focus on today & today only. Its all we have to work with.

    4.5 months ago, I weighed 312 pounds. I woulda been dead in 5 years if I hadn't made this commitment. All signs were pointing that way.

    Just a few things the MFP tribe and common sense has taught me:

    1) This is a thing you DO, not a definition of who you ARE. Just like laundry. Take the emotion out of it wherever possible. I cannot stress this enough.

    2) My approach? This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. So there is no finite number of days that I am trying to get to. I will be logging in and logging food for the rest of my life, because:

    a) This program works
    b) I don't want to die young and I was headed that direction

    3) Try to remember - We are the results of the choices we make every day, whether those choices are good or bad. Make as many good choices as you can, and the ship will stay steady. At the end of the day, we are the man in the mirror. We are accountable to ourselves and no one else. We can help you with getting there, but the doing is up to you. Leave rationalizing at the door, and continue to be honest with yourself. Its the only path to long term success

    Cal tracking is considered a good choice (whether boring or not) because it tells you where you really are (just like your check register tells you your balance) - remember to be honest with yourself all the time. Ultimately, you will achieve that which you are seeking much sooner.

    Knowing that plus the support I get from my MFP buds make enough difference that Ive lost 39 in 139 days without doing anything stupid. You just find what works and then hammer the crap out of it, staying in the present while doing so.

    If you will stay committed to this, your MFP tribe will commit to helping. Why? Because that's what we do. And we have ALL been there.

    And? Id suggest going to Vegas. You only get one chance to live your life.

    FR on the way.

    Fsunami
  • allisonthompson6
    allisonthompson6 Posts: 19 Member
    i understand completely! the lack of energy and missed opportunties is so frustrating. i seem to go good for a few days and then fizzle out, this time i've decided to reach out for support. best of luck on your journey, i can't wait to see your success milestones!

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