Does anyone feel like their goals are a million miles away?

jdt242
jdt242 Posts: 106 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Does anyone else feel like their goals are a million miles away?

My first goal is to lose 14lbs by mid November. It sounds so achievable but previous failures make me feel like its year away and I am afraid of failing again.

I am only one day in and this worry is hanging over me.

Anyone else feel the same? Anyone overcome this feeling and won? My diet perspective is seriously warped after years of the same cycles.
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Replies

  • independant2406
    independant2406 Posts: 447 Member
    If I look at my overall weight loss goal I definitely feel overwhelmed. I've learned its helpful to set small achievable goals that motivate me more.

    Examples:

    Log 10 days on MFP and not go over calories or carbs
    Lose 4lbs and break below 200 mark. (!)
    Lose 10 more lbs and weigh 189lbs.
    Don't eat out this week - make all meals at home. Weigh/measure everything.

    Each one of these is a little tiny goal I have and they're so much more achievable. I know I can do these things and they are baby steps on the way to my larger goal. :)
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    I set different goals for myself, weekly fitness goals, monthly goals, long term goals, etc. If I only worried about the number on the scale that might make the goal seem daunting. But setting realistic attainable goals in different ranges has helped me. Also the understanding that things will happen and I won't always reach my goal for that set time, so I try harder next week, month, etc.
  • Jazz_2014
    Jazz_2014 Posts: 150 Member
    In the beginning, I set goals that were to far out or unreasonable. I think the hyped up ambition got me. But I learned quickly to make mini goals. If I need affirmation, I make even mini mini goals.

    Nothing wrong with long term goals, or mini milestones but when I'm not close to either . . . I remind myself I am merely heading the right direction.

    Stay focused but don't overthink it.
  • moya_bleh
    moya_bleh Posts: 1,375 Member
    Oh God yes.

    Forward. One determined step after the other...
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    I did it by never looking beyond one day. I too got depressed thinking it would take me months to be successful. Once I got it in my head that I could be s success my first day and every day, I felt more in control. Any failed days were isolated incidents and I was a success the next day.
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    One of my goals seems like a literal million miles away (a marathon time). You gotta look at it in smaller chunks, divide and conquer. If I only saw and shot for the end result, I wouldn't measure my progress for the success that it is.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    When I started, my goal was to lose 100lbs. I did not break it down to smaller goals...I stuck with 100lbs. I knew it would take a while to lose the weight, but I figure that as long as if I keep trying...EVENTUALLY I will make it to my goal weight. If I gave up, I knew I would only get bigger.

    At one point, I was stuck on an 8 month long plateau. I really felt like "what was the point?" but then realized, once I do hit my goal that it will be like practicing for maintenance. That is how I took it, tried a few different things with my calories until the weight started coming off again.
  • RamonaFr
    RamonaFr Posts: 112
    I definitely can't look at the overall goal very much. One day at a time is all I can do, and sometimes I'm not successful at it. Well, lots of times I'm not successful. But I keep trying, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. I have lost 58 pounds since I started last October, so, I think one day at a time works.
  • chahayd
    chahayd Posts: 4
    Yes I do been it now for 4 weeks and my weight goes down then up again nothing seems to be consistant it's very frustrating put on a pound so far this week without any cheats grrr!
  • kmbrooks15
    kmbrooks15 Posts: 941 Member
    I work in 10 pound increments. For example, my current weight is 192, so my next goal is to get into the 180s. Next goal after that is the 170s, and so on. i started at 203, so my first goal was to get to ONEderland. Set small goals that will help you meet your long term goal.
  • astralweeks82
    astralweeks82 Posts: 230 Member
    When I started, my goal seemed pretty daunting. And it did take a while. I did what others said, though. I broke it up into smaller goals, and I knew if I didn't start, by that time the following year I would probably be heavier and wishing I had started.
  • BlackStarlight
    BlackStarlight Posts: 554 Member
    Oh, God yes.
    And believe me you aren't the only one. But you've got to break it down.
    So if you want to loose 100lbs... Thats just daunting.
    But 10 sets of 10lbs doesn't seem quite so bad.
    Then break it down again 20 sets of 5lbs which sounds even better :)
    xx
  • LuckyOneD
    LuckyOneD Posts: 2
    YES!!! I do feel that way; plus it doesn't help that my "resolve" falters a lot. I do a lot of "boredom eating", which I know is not smart and I know how to get out of it, but I just DON'T! My short term goal, back in July, was to lose 10 pounds by October. Instead, I've gained two and am struggling to keep my resolve. Long term goal is to drop 30 pounds - I would be at a reasonable weight then.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    No, because im realistic about things including goals. Make them achievable and break tasks down into smaller ones with mini goals or you will overwhelm yourself.
  • nicola8989
    nicola8989 Posts: 381 Member
    Absolutely - I find it easier to focus on the goals that will get me there rather than "I must lose 7lb by this day"

    e.g I'll set myself a goal not to eat chocolate today, or a goal to go to the gym 4x this week.

    My initial goal was similar to yours - to lose 10lbs by the beginning of November - now I've cut that down to 5lb so it's more achievable.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    the thing i've found out about goals is that they have to be just a little out of reach. too easy and it's not a challenge. too hard and you can become discouraged.

    long term plans are great. my long term plan is to do an Iron Man. but something like that is a really big goal that not prepared for the right way can have me going in a lot of different directions and leave me exhausted before i even race.

    so i started with small sprint triathlons. scaling up to different endurance races, building little by little the experience and conditioning that i would need.

    my goal for an Iron Man is Fall 2019. yeah, 5 years away, but i think that is what i need to develop the conditioning and race experience to do it right.
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    Originally, I set goals like "X weight by X date." It didn't really work for me because real life happens. Some weeks were reallllly active and some involved loads of wine. Also, I was trying to lose too close to 2 lbs/week.

    I really recommend setting monthly goals. Right now, I'm trying to make sure that I lose 5 lbs each month. By the new year it will be 4 lbs each month. I'm not beating myself up over it if I lose less, so long as I'm losing. Ideally, I'd lose 1.5 lbs/week, so I'm aiming for a little less than that.
  • Maryam2014mfp
    Maryam2014mfp Posts: 174
    Try out this calculator. I found I had very unrealistic goals at first. It said I would have to eat a negative 88 calories a day to achieve the goal I wanted. Lol. So, I realized I was being unreasonable and unhealthy in my expectations and hopes. One of the members here made the calculator. Depending how far you are from your goal weight, the amount of weight you lose per week is less. I would suggest that if you are 29 lbs overweight, that for the 9 lbs over the 20 that you goal 1 week for each lb. and for the remaining 20 lbs, goal 0.5 lb loss each week. Losing your weight healthily will increase the likelihood of you keeping it off. Also, you may find that you drop more at first and your weight may fluctuate a bit up and down; but if you stick with the calories suggested, overall you will end up with weight loss. Take care.

    http://www.weightloss-calculator.net
  • tjohnoconnor
    tjohnoconnor Posts: 58 Member
    In the beginning I felt the same way. It was overwhelming and a million miles away. You have to set short range goals and pass through them onto the next. I still have goals and at times they feel a million miles away but you have to keep moving forward to attain them. Dreaming of what you can be is not an effective strategy
  • gelahope
    gelahope Posts: 63 Member
    I definitely agree with what most people have been saying. Yes, it's awesome to have an "ultimate" goal, i.e. your eventual goal weight. But that's like saying that "I want to be an astronaut". Sure, it's achievable, but it's not going to happen overnight. You have to work for it. Reach much smaller goals. Eventually it will all add up and turn into the ultimate goal, but for now just focus on this week. Your goal can be "I want to be a pound lighter by Saturday" or something. Or you can go even smaller and just focus on today. "I want to get through this workout without quitting". And CELEBRATE! Even your small accomplishments and victories. If you say no to a cookie, mentally pat yourself on the back! =) Every tiny victory is one step closer to your ultimate goal.

    And remember: Even a 1,000 mile journey starts with a single step.

    Best of luck to you!!
  • walterm852
    walterm852 Posts: 409 Member
    There is some excellent advice so far about setting mini goals along the way.

    Its one day at a time, linking consistent good days together. What is the next right thing I can do today to get to my goal and make that choice.
  • carolinaem
    carolinaem Posts: 58 Member
    I have weight loss goals- but no timeline. I have written on my bathroom mirror (dry erase marker) my current goal along with goals met. My first goal was 9 lbs, and now I am working on my second goal of 6 lbs (#lbs/6). Setting a timeline puts too much pressure on me when I know weight loss isn't always linear and some pounds are harder to lose than others.
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    I felt the same way so I set up mini goals and take it one step at a time. One thing you should know about weight loss: DON'T RUSH IT! It seems that when I rush I set myself up for failure.
  • Mexicanbigfoot
    Mexicanbigfoot Posts: 520 Member
    Yes!! I think that is why I gave up so many times in the past. I would look at how much I had to go and I would tell myself I couldn't do it.

    I put myself out into the community and have met some amazing people and gotten so much helpful advice. I've also read so much about other people's successes.

    I set small goals for myself. Daily, weekly, monthly.

    I don't look at the big picture anymore and I literally take it 1 pound at a time. Some days, I literally take it an hour at a time.

    I have changed my whole mindset about weight loss and fitness and it's changed my relationship with my mind, my body and my food.

    Good luck, I hope you meet all the goals you set for yourself! :flowerforyou:
  • ghosthackexe
    ghosthackexe Posts: 181 Member
    Yeah but thats probably because I made it my personal goal to be able to see my abs XD
  • Tiamo719
    Tiamo719 Posts: 256 Member
    Yes!!!! And if I could just be freaken patient, I would realize that time goes by, quickly and I will be where I want to be in no time. I have to keep telling myself that.
  • QuillensMom
    QuillensMom Posts: 100 Member
    As others have said having smaller goals along the way are very helpful with feeling successful and seeing results and not getting overwhelmed.
    I also think having fitness goals can be helpful, not just the number on the scale. Like for me I started out saying ok I want to be able to walk to the plaza and back. It's right around 7 miles. Once I did that up to doing 10 miles, 3 days a week. I also wanted to be able to go bike riding with my husband. Not keep up mind you but not feeling like Im going to pass out. Fitting into an old item of clothing that I couldn't wear anymore but didn't want to toss. Things like that I find are helpful as well. It takes time to get healthier.
  • leesyc81
    leesyc81 Posts: 52 Member
    What I did to keep positive and motivated is I set small goals to reach at achievable dates, which I always smashed. Funnily, now I'm so close to my goal I'm feeling like it's a million miles away and I'm struggling not to over eat most days so I'm pretty much maintaining. I need to set a new goal ie lose 4lb by November and treat myself to a new handbag. Without a time frame I'm not consistent at all!
  • RenaTX
    RenaTX Posts: 345 Member
    I do and I don't. Like others have said I set small goals and celebrate what I've lost. My weight is a result of a lifetime and my weightloss is a result of a few months. By the end of this it will be nearly two years to reach my goal but it's not a lifetime.
  • melduf
    melduf Posts: 468 Member
    Here are 2 post-its I keep on my desk :

    "Don't starve, don't binge. Eat right, exercise. You will get there."

    "If I quit now, I will soon be back to where I started. And when I started, I was desperately wishing to be where I am now."

    I also keep pink note cards with my goals and the reasons I do this : to be a good example for my daughter, to enjoy clothes shopping, etc. It's easy to loose sight of why we are putting ourselves trough all of this!! Hang on!

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