I dont know were this is headed anymore

I have been dating a guy for almost 3 months. I know it has not been that long but when we first met I couldnt stop smiling. So perfect in every sense. Own house, job, sweet, caring and emotionally there for me. I didint technically move in with him but since the first day we met I have been with him everynight. At first sex, laughing and conversation in general was amazing. But now.. We still have great sex, laugh and conversation but theres just something I cant kick.

Is there really or are you just being a woman and making situations up in your head? We all do it.

A)Feelings that are still there for his ex Financially I am not in a good boat to everyday be in another city having to go back and worth each day . I cook for him, clean his house. I have met all of his family and friends. Lately he just seems more distant. Everytime we do groceries I try to pay but he ends up having to pay because I just dont make enough. He seems angry half the time.

Does he actually have feelings for his ex, or are you being paranoid because he said he thinks about her sometimes...which is normal. Cooking and cleaning for someone isn't going to make them any more or less in love with you. You need to rethink what how you think love works. If you're doing groceries together I'm sure he's being a gentleman and paying not because you can't but because he wants to and acknowledges it's for both of you. Does he actually seem angry, or is he not constantly talking so you think he's angry? Perhaps he's stressing about things completely unrelated to you?

I like him alot, but I also miss being on my own. But for the first time in ever I have met a man that has his **** in line and has all the atributes I want in a man. But before him I was for the first time single after years of dreaful relationships. I was living in America and moved to Europe 1 year ago. Since I moved here I got my own apartment and am completley doing my own thing. Now that I met this guy Its like I have dropped everything I thought was fun to me. Going into the cities on my own, sitting have a cup of coffee just being on my own.......

You LIKE him a lot? Your last thread spoke of love, now it's like? Maybe you need to get yourself together because you don't really seem to know where you are mentally and emotionally. So you miss being on your own, doing stuff on your own...is he stopping you from it, or do you stay home because you think you have to? I have to ask, how old are you? I'm just curious because your mentality when it comes to relationships seems somewhat...young. Being in a relationship doesn't mean to stop being your own person and doing your own things. Unless you have a different structure like D/s or M/s where you've agreed to do what the D/M say, then you can do things on your own. Even in most D/s relationship, the sub does her own things sometimes. It's healthy. You don't stop being an individual when you have a bf/gf, you need to realize and work on that.

I dont know I am just lost. He says he is in love with me and wants to be with me but his eyes tell me something different.
And with all the insecurities and stress coming from my side I dont know if I am best for him now. I dont want to hurt him with game playing. I want marriage and kids I want it all... I just dont know if he is real about his feelings and effort when it comes to me.
Advice?

95% of the time when a man says something they mean it. Biologically and psychologically, men differ from women. They're more straight forward, it's just how they're wired. If he didn't love you...he wouldn't say it. Obviously we don't know all the ins and outs of your relationship, but from what you're telling us...you're extremely insecure. Perhaps you're self sabotaging because you're scared that you'll get hurt? He seems to be a decent guy and yet you're projecting things that may not be there onto him.

Try to keep this in mind...

Men don't talk about their issues like women do, they often close themselves off and think of a solution. That makes them seem distant sometimes.

Men like having alone time. Maybe he wants you to go out and do your own things sometimes so he can have time to himself, but he can't say it nicely because he's sure you'll take it as him not wanting you anymore (going back to your previous outburst over his ex honesty)

Men don't feel the need to constantly fill the void of silence and they shouldn't have to. It's ok to go through phases where you just want quiet.

You seem to be suffocating him. You want space but aren't giving it. Go out, make friends, have coffee alone. He needs space and so do you. A healthy relationship is one where you've got TWO functioning INDIVIDUALS.

Has anyone suggested a good therapist?

You have issues you need to work out OP, and they have nothing to do with if this guy likes you. Take a step back from this relationship, regain your identity, work to solidify your financial footing, stop being his maid, invite him to your apartment. Talk to a therapist about why being alone is difficult and why you are so concerned with not being able to read him. Talk about if you are projecting anger.

Or just break up.

The end.

Dude, it's been three months and you already have problems that other couples have after a few years.

Just move on. And the next time you meet a dude you like, don't become his housekeeper.

Ladies love being the maid though. LOL

WUT?

I change my statement to clingy ladies who need reason to be around like to clean. I don't know why. I do not like to becomes someone's world.

I don't think they are related at all.

I love to cook. I'll cook for everyone and anyone. That doesn't make me clingy.

Some women love to clean. Some women were raised thinking that it's their job. Some women just don't want to live in a dirty bachelor pad. That doesn't mean they are clingy.

Activities aren't always prescriptive.

True but I also know women that want to be with the guy and if his place is dirty then she will not come over. Then the guy rushes to clean his pad in personal record time.

That scenario has absolutely nothing to do with your comment.

Also, wanting to come over to a place that isn't filthy =/= clingy.

I apologize for the first comment. i thought it was a joke since this is the fun thread. My second comment on clingy ladies always cleaning is what I notice when I see someone cling to me or a friend way too quick. Sorry I am not sorry.

"A)Feelings that are still there for his ex"

Are you a rebound that fizzled out?

they broke up a year ago..
but he told me he still has feelings and thinks about her.. I came to the realization that I have to get used to it..

Sorry, but when you are with someone for the right reason, they make life better even if you are just sitting on the couch with them.