why bother?

The weight isn't supposed to be the real goal. The real goal is to become a healthier person. If you do that, the weight will take care of itself.

Never "restart". Just pick up & carry on. All those fears are very real fears, and ones you will face and defeat as you go along. Or, you can let them take over and determine how you will move along.

Right now, you can't worry about getting to goal and "relaxing" because you aren't there yet. Put that to the side. Once you get closer to goal, then start thinking about it.

Buying a new wardrobe: it's not like you need to go out & spend thousands of dollars for a whole new wardrobe tomorrow! I bought a few replacement pieces as I needed them. For instance, as my jeans were getting big, I got 1 new pair @ my new size. Then they got loose, onto a new pair. Same with pregnancy wardrobe, I only bought 1 week's worth of clothes, so I wouldn't have a ton sitting there.

Pregnancy: Well, I was fat before, during & after my pregnancies. I wish I could have gone back & changed that. If you are active before, you can keep on, with doctor approval, during. You will make better food choices because it's not just you now, you have a very important passenger to think of! And good luck there!!!

Just start with little things. Start eating better. Then add in walks, or a bike ride, or aerobics class or...whatever. Things will "click", and become habit. And HELZ YA! being fat is "easy", but at the same token, I remember how I felt a year ago, 45 pounds heavier. I don't wanna go back. (and no, I'm not near "goal" yet - still working on it).

But sitting and thinking of all the negative IS "failing". Just start. Give it a month. One month of eating better, doing some kind of 'workout" 3 times a week. Only weigh in 1 time a week. Take measurements & pictures. Think of how you will FEEL at the end of that month. Don't get hung up on a number on a scale. One month. What have you got to loose?

Feel free to add me as a friend if you want. But just get up & start....

I so feel your pain! I can't tell you how many times I have stopped and started its ridiculous because I get in that oh what's the point mindset and it's really hard to get out of!

I think for you since your planning a baby no. 2 keep in mind that the healthier you are the healthier your baby's going to be because the things you feed yourself you're also feeding the baby while you're pregnant. And the healthier you are the easier it is to get pregnant there's many benefits to being healthy and planning a baby. And yes you'll gain some weight but if your already in that healthy mode you will probably have a much easier time getting it off after

You also have to remember consistency is the key to success if you don't continue working out your transformation won't stick! But you know that. And I think saying you can't hardwire you brain to know its a lifestyle change is not tire you yourself know it's a lifestyle change so your brain knows it. The real issue is re-wiring your brain to crave healthy snacks and healthy foods over quick junk things and pushing your body to get out and work out until it becomes habit and something you enjoy. And it only takes a month to form a habit, tomorrow is October 1st the first day of the month it could be the month you hop back on track and get going!

But I know it's all up to you to take action! Just give it some thought today, tomorrow's a new month and a fresh start, you can make healthy eating and working out a habit and something you enjoy! Best of luck gorgeous! And happy baby planning!

I am at that point again right now. I totally get in the zone and its just second nature to me then I will get off track somehow, and its gone. Its hard to get that mojo back, but I am going to do everything in my power to get it back. I need to get back into a routine. Thats what helps me.

Why bother.....

You have to find your own reasons. My reasons for why I am bothering and your reasons may be different. Once you find an important enough reason for you to make it a priority, you will bother.

but darn sometimes being fat is just easier!

'til you're old and sick maybe, and the ramifications of both will be made worse by being overweight.

As I've told you before friend, if you do this in a sustainable way, you won't suffer through it, it won't feel like such a sacrifice, and you won't have to worry about falling off the wagon. Losing weight does not have to be so difficult. If you have realistic goals and practice moderation, you can actually enjoy the process. I've enjoyed every minute of the process for the last 591 days. Did I hit plateaus, sure. Were there times I wished it were easier, of course. But looking back, it was completely enjoyable and I did it in a way that I know I can live with forever. You don't have to cut things completely out, so that you feel the need to "relax" when you reach some arbitrary goal.

Others have given you good advice as well - do it for your children, do it so you have a better chance of having a healthy pregnancy, but most importantly, do it for yourself. If you aren't ready to do it for those reasons, that's ok, MFP and all of us will be here when you decide you are.

A 43 year old man that I went to HS with had a heart attack and died two days ago.

Now his friends and family are left devastated.

THATS why we bother.

Sorry to hear.

If you develop healthy habits now, it will be much easier to have a healthy pregnancy and pass on those habits to your kids. I just had my first and am trying to lose the weight so I can keep up with him once he's on the move. I'm trying to get as much nutrition as I can to pass to him through breastfeeding. I still have treats every day and stay within my calorie range. I want to have a healthy lifestyle and make sure that my son (and any future kids) will grow up being healthy, too. And if you get the weight off pre-pregnancy and keep your good habits throughout (just adding a few more calories in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters) it will be easier to get it off again afterwards. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

I also want to lose a few lbs before trying for my second baby, so I have argued with myself about some of the same stuff you have. But ultimately I want to be fitter, healthier and slimmer before I try again.

You could perhaps start with making sure not to gain any more weight for now - I was stuck in a losing/gaining cycle for a while after my first pregnancy, and just learning what my 'maintenance' calories were by tinkering with MFP and logging faithfully really made it easier for me to stick with, by removing a lot of the guesswork. I was stunned by how much I could actually eat without gaining

And I agree with others that you're kind of obligated to make sure your second pregnancy is as healthy as it could be, even if you had no problems with your first. Not saying you have to lose a bunch of weight, but developing and maintaining healthy habits before pregnancy is recommended by all pregnancy resources.