How do you start believing in yourself?

One of the biggest mistakes people make is trying to do a 180 overnight and do wholesale changes. That is a recipe for disaster...this is called a "journey" for a reason...it's not about changing your life overnight, it's about your path and your journey, not only to losing weight, but health and wellness overall.

Another issue here is the tendency to make things extremely black and white...this is "good" and that is "bad"...this is "healthy" and that is "unhealthy"...when in reality, there's a whole lot of gray. In reality, matters of nutrition and fitness and overall well being are hardly this black and white...context and dosage are very important. For example...eating nothing but "junk" food day in and day out...probably not so great. Having a "junky" treat now and then as a part of an otherwise balanced, wholesome, and nutritious diet...pretty much irrelevant to the whole. Eating an entire large pizza for lunch...probably not so good...having a slice with a salad, no big deal.

A lot of this is simply going to be a learning process and baby steps. Don't focus on the number on the scale...focus on better nutrition...being more fit, etc. Focus on being a better you today than you were yesterday...sleep well in the knowledge that you will kick some more *kitten* tomorrow. Losing weight and being at a healthy weight, etc is largely a bi-product of good livin'...when you're good livin', all of that stuff tends to just fall in line.

This is a process...this is a "journey"...it is not an overnight kind of thing. I've been on this little safari of good livin' now for almost two years, and guess what...I'm still working on things. I've recently come to the realization that I've focused primarily on my physical well-being to this point...I've lost a good bit of weight and I've learned a lot about nutrition and fitness...I eat well and exercise regularly...and now that I have my physical health under control, it's time to start looking at my mental and spiritual well being which have been neglected. See what I mean...it's a process...the betterment of yourself is never ending...it is a journey...a life long journey.

^^^ This is perfect.

I would also add, come up with a mantra, something positive that you say to yourself everyday (don't tell anyone). Go one step further and make the first letter word your new password. That way every time you type in your password you have to tell yourself how awesome you are and you create a secure password that won't end up on a hacker list.

For example:
"I'm awesome, funny, beautiful, and make a kick *kitten* cup of coffee!"

The fact that you are on here means you have the motivations to change something.
Pick one thing that's manageable and stick to it. How about going gluten free for one week. Keep eating carbs but try out quinoa pasta...it looks and tastes like real pasta. Try Rudi's gluten free breads---keep it in the fridge and have some for breakfast. That
way you are not forgoing the things that you may like. You like chips buy sweet potato or try a whole grain brand...costs more but getting that crunch can be crucial when cravings hit.
One good tip if you eat carbs make sure you eat with protein it slows down the insulin which put weight on faster than anything.

Know that fruits, vegetables and lean meats along with good fats can be eaten every day. Instead of a lot of cheese on a sandwich try cutting an avocado in half and using it instead of mayo and cheese.

Small things that still keep your taste and urges under control is the way to go if you have little self control. Try that out for few weeks it's amazing just replacing small things like a rotissiere chicken with a natural rotissiere chicken can make all the difference. Less toxins less chemicals in the body that holds onto fat.
Buy some organic raw apple cider vinegar put it into some juice or water and sip on it throughout the day...or drinking a cup of green tea with l-theanine can really burn fat in the bloodstream.
Take or drink Vitamin C after a heavy meal to cut fat in cholesterol. Take a whole food vitamin like Life Alive you can find at Walmart, Target, Walgreens.
You like Hummus eat that once a day and it's amazing how it can control bad estrogen the thing that holds water weight and fat.
Small things add up in a few weeks you'll know what does or doesn't work.
If you can't seem to fill yourself up make sure you eat some good fat before each meal...maybe pistachios, or olive oil with garlic and chopped basil and rosemary...dip some of the gluten free toasted bread into it.
If you think you need to stop eating then you will only eat more...don't ever RESTRICT yourself...just change what you like for the natural version. Eventually the changes will come when you see and feel different.
One other thing I like if you like fizzy soda---buy the sparkling polar springs lemon water(not soda), and mix it with a small amount of juice or lemonade. It's like having a san pelligrino lemon soda or try blood orange.
Good Luck!

My problem is I can't see the finishing line. Ive been on this ride for over 20 years and never lost it. Once I lost 40 pounds but gained it all back. I think everyone is right. Once I accept me for me things might change.

I know what you mean. I've been overweight my whole life too. I've never actually seen myself thin or lean before, so it's hard to visualize my end goal. Therefore, it's difficult to know what I'm working so hard for. BUT I assure you that as you continue in your journey, you start to gain more benefits than JUST the end goal. For example, I feel more energy, I'm stronger, my skin is clearer, my hair is shinier, I'm more flexible, I'm happier, I'm more positive, etc. etc. It's great!!!

Also, as I get closer to my goal, I am now very excited for the new body I know I CAN have. Like I said, I've never been lean. But now as I have progressed, I know I can be and I'm ready to get there.

All my life I struggled with hating how I look. I would be so desperate that I would go on fad diets or buy weight loss pills/tea, etc. Then I'd give up after a week because it wasn't working fast enough. Then I'd hate myself again. And thus the cycle continued.

Finally I got out of the cycle by realizing that this was not a quick fix. It was a LIFESTYLE CHANGE. And I was finally ready to embrace it. Little by little I cut out the things that I knew were holding me back. I cut out soda, fast food, junk food, alcohol, Starbucks (Oh, this was the hardest for me!!)

Anyway, it really is my of a mindset and lifestyle change. Love yourself by taking care of your body. Eat good things for it to thrive and be healthy. Drink lots of water. Hydration is so refreshing and wonderful! I never knew how dehydrated I was keeping my body.

I'm sorry for the long response, but I definitely know the feeling that you are having. But you can get through it! Just remember that it is a lifestyle change and not a "diet".

Also, friend me is you want and I'll encourage you!

Much love,

My problem is I can't see the finishing line. Ive been on this ride for over 20 years and never lost it. Once I lost 40 pounds but gained it all back. I think everyone is right. Once I accept me for me things might change.

What is your why.
I still struggle with my why. I always wonder if the why is good enough to keep me going. I have not read why you want the change... I read you hate the way you look and why your sad. Is the why you want to lose weight to change how you feel- because that wont happen on its own. You will have to explore your heart and head before you get your butt moving. That may be your speed bump.

What does it mean to be fat? Does it really mean that?
Do you want to get thinner for your kids or health or? Vanity wont be enough to sustain the weight loss... maybe finding your why will help you keep with something...

Good luck with your journey..

Bold was harder for me than to actually make changes. The changes all started to fall into place.

I feel the exact same way you do at this very moment. I have been trying mfp on and off for the longest time and as you can see the most ive lost is 5lbs. I hate my fat face, stomach and how my thighs rub together. people who have already reached their goal will tell you to JUST DO IT! well damnit its not that easy. its hard very hard because all I want to do is eat but from what im learning you have to take it slow. trying to do too much at once will overwhelm you and you will want to give up. feel free to add me. I would love to learn some things from you as I hope you can from me as well

Well from what I can tell from your profile picture your screen name is quite accurate! You are beautiful. The self-criticism is not necessary and I hope you can see your own beauty, both inside and out.

My problem is I can't see the finishing line. Ive been on this ride for over 20 years and never lost it. Once I lost 40 pounds but gained it all back. I think everyone is right. Once I accept me for me things might change.

What is your why.
I still struggle with my why. I always wonder if the why is good enough to keep me going. I have not read why you want the change... I read you hate the way you look and why your sad. Is the why you want to lose weight to change how you feel- because that wont happen on its own. You will have to explore your heart and head before you get your butt moving. That may be your speed bump.

What does it mean to be fat? Does it really mean that?
Do you want to get thinner for your kids or health or? Vanity wont be enough to sustain the weight loss... maybe finding your why will help you keep with something...

Good luck with your journey..

Bold was harder for me than to actually make changes. The changes all started to fall into place.

The bold was for me as well. My profile on MFP has always talked about that point. I am glad to hear I am not alone

My problem is I can't see the finishing line. Ive been on this ride for over 20 years and never lost it. Once I lost 40 pounds but gained it all back. I think everyone is right. Once I accept me for me things might change.

What is your why.
I still struggle with my why. I always wonder if the why is good enough to keep me going. I have not read why you want the change... I read you hate the way you look and why your sad. Is the why you want to lose weight to change how you feel- because that wont happen on its own. You will have to explore your heart and head before you get your butt moving. That may be your speed bump.

What does it mean to be fat? Does it really mean that?
Do you want to get thinner for your kids or health or? Vanity wont be enough to sustain the weight loss... maybe finding your why will help you keep with something...

Good luck with your journey..

Bold was harder for me than to actually make changes. The changes all started to fall into place.

The bold was for me as well. My profile on MFP has always talked about that point. I am glad to hear I am not alone

You have no idea. I basically stopped myself from going into a depression. Once I did it though I have never felt that bad again and I think I never will. I will let it out before it get there

This is where I am at. I am 39 years old and have been overweight my entire life. I used to be ok with my looks but the last 10 years I have been miserable! I really want to lose I do but it just doesn't seem attainable. I have been on this change of eating for a week and I all ready feel my self wanting to just give up and eat. Why do I do that to myself? Why can't I just get with the plan and do it? I see others that have had surgery, or stuck to it, what is my problem? You don't understand how bad I hate myself. I hate the way I look, the way my face is fat, I hate my big butt and my big hips, I hate everything! I hate to look in the mirror! So my question is how do you pull yourself out of this rut I am in?

That hate is your problem! Why would to you do ANYTHING good for something or someone you hate?

When you decide to love yourself, and because of that love, you decide that you deserve more and are worthy of more, you will want to do good things for yourself, including losing weight and getting healthier. It is a gift you give yourself because you love yourself.

Agree with the chap who talks about a journey. If you have been overweight a long time then do not ubnderestimate the burden that places on the way you think about yourself. Instead of viewing and placing all your eggs in one basket i.e whne you might reach target and things will change you should realise that you need to start addressing the way you look at things from the start.

The way you conduct your journey is a good way to buil up that self esteem as much or more importnat than the destination.

Go to some classes on self esteem and they should help build your confidence.
Make a plan thats sustainable and realistic. Baby steps do you achieve small victories and dont crash and burn.
Learn about weight loss.
Basically prepare properly and them execute it properly.

32lb is just over 2 stone. Maybe 4-8 months of a healthy/ or unhealthy diet and a bit of exercise. Even at baby pace you cna do that within 1 year. Just keep reminding yourself why and all the good things it will give you plus your sense of achievement.

Beating yourself up is all a bit boring imo you should like and help yourself to achieve your potential, because very other people besides your parents care whether you succeed or fail. Get the midnset right and everything else can follow imo.