I feel like a horrible person... :(

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  • independant2406
    independant2406 Posts: 447 Member
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    Born and raised in the USA and in every office I've ever worked in....varying degrees of this goes on (among other things). Is everyone that way? Of course not...but I cannot wait to retire because this is pretty much it. Kindergarten everywhere. It explains a lot these days. frown (Oh, and sometimes the employers ARE part of it).

    ^^^ OMG this a million times over.

    Seriously, where ARE these places? I worked in journalism for years and we didn't even behave that way.

    Two words: Government. Work.

    And....Sales...and Customer Service.

    The Office isn't just a TV show... its real life for some of us...
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Not at all...reminds me of a story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".

    You and I interpreted very different morals from that story.

    ETA:
    I, too, though of The Boy Who Cried Wolf while reading your post.

    Seriously? Is there a completely different version of this story that I'm not aware of?

    Other than the version in which the boy repeatedly exhibits bad behavior and as a result is judged based on said bad behavior?
  • GothyFaery
    GothyFaery Posts: 762 Member
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    Not at all...reminds me of a story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".

    You and I interpreted very different morals from that story.

    ETA:
    I, too, though of The Boy Who Cried Wolf while reading your post.

    Seriously? Is there a completely different version of this story that I'm not aware of?

    Boy says wolf is about to eat him, towns people run to help. Boy laughs, he's making it up. This repeats a few times. There actually is a wolf, boy cries to the towns people but they think he's joking again so they don't come. Wolf eats boy.

    I can see a similar relationship here. He joked he was going to do something (even did do it several times) and then that something happened (again) so he got blamed.
  • littlelaura
    littlelaura Posts: 1,028 Member
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    You should of taken all the candy and stored it in your home freezer to give out on Halloween and save yourself money.
    I would be pissed to have the goodie table near my desk as well and would simply ask if they cant find a place for it elsewhere to be personally moved away from it to a different cube. You reacted maybe over reacting and said you were sorry, it most likely was him but just let it go, its over. Now go have a candy bar! JK
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Not sure where you work but it sounds like a terrible place to work. No offense...
    dude is probably lying and placed them on your desk.

    If you think one (potentially) bad coworker means it is a "terrible place to work"...

    ...well...

    ...it just doesn't.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Not at all...reminds me of a story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".

    You and I interpreted very different morals from that story.

    ETA:
    I, too, though of The Boy Who Cried Wolf while reading your post.

    Seriously? Is there a completely different version of this story that I'm not aware of?

    Other than the version in which the boy repeatedly exhibits bad behavior and as a result is judged based on said bad behavior?

    I'm clearly in the minority here, so maybe I'm wrong.

    Or maybe I think there are some more than subtle differences that change the moral.



    Nah, I'm going with the former.
  • Breakdown64
    Breakdown64 Posts: 22 Member
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    Sounds to me like he's trying to play around a little and be funny, but just is too insensitive about it.

    And you shouldn't feel like a horrible person.
  • Illini_Jim
    Illini_Jim Posts: 419 Member
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    You Americans are Drcrazy :noway: Has the workplace become a kindergarten?? How do you stay energized through the day when you eat candy all day and how do you keep focused on your assignments when there is candy right in front of you? What do your employers think of this?

    He's lucky he didn't get shot. Candy dumped on the desk? Pfft, that's tame for Americans.

    Right? I mean, at least she didn't release her pet bald eagle to crap red, white and blue all over his desk.

    ^^ This made me laugh.
  • GothyFaery
    GothyFaery Posts: 762 Member
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    Sounds to me like he's trying to play around a little and be funny, but just is too insensitive about it.

    And you shouldn't feel like a horrible person.

    That is him in a nutshell. He wants to be the office clown but doesn't know when he's gone too far. But I've explained to him a few different times that some of the things he says and does are over the line, not just to me but to others as well. It just doesn't ever seem to stick to him.
  • Daiako
    Daiako Posts: 12,545 Member
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    Because you are.

    horrible and a drama queen


    That as well.
  • Marbella29660
    Marbella29660 Posts: 71 Member
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    Because you are.

    horrible and a drama queen


    That as well.

    ^^^ hilarious - seems like a lot of fuss about nothing.
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
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    Now to the "I'm a horrible person" part. This morning I come in to find one of the candy bowls on my desk. I was furious! I dumped the whole bowl out on his chair and put a note saying "If I find this on my desk again I'm going to throw it in the trash! Not kidding!" Well, a little bit later when he came in to find a mess of candy all over his chair and desk (+a very b!tchy note), he tells me it wasn't him.

    I wouldn't say you're a horrible person. It may have turned out to be an overreaction, or a misdirected reaction, though. But you do say you had a history of him trying to push food on you. I'd like to think he could understand why you might have thought it was him.

    This particular note is pretty benign. You didn't call him any names. Whether he did or did not do it, it wasn't a personal attack on him. You simply said you'd throw the candy in the trash. You didn't threaten retaliation or say you were going to going to HR, or anything like that.

    If it was him, he knows you didn't find it funny. If it wasn't, what does he care if you threaten to throw candy in the trash?

    He said he didn't do it. You say you believe him. You made your apologies. I'd say the best thing to do is move on unless someone or something else brings up the issue.

    If he did it, and he does it again and you can prove it, react as you see fit, because he's brought it upon himself by not dropping the issue. If he's telling the truth, the worst thing you can do is hold something he didn't do against him.
  • GothyFaery
    GothyFaery Posts: 762 Member
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    Because you are.

    horrible and a drama queen


    That as well.

    ^^^ hilarious - seems like a lot of fuss about nothing.

    Just wondering, am I a drama queen for getting upset about the candy on my desk or for worrying about how I handled it? Or both? I know I have a tendancy to overreact, I'm trying to figure out where I can improve on myself.


    Although I've never been called a drama queen before. Normally I try to avoid drama at all costs as it tends to not sit well with me.
  • Asherah29
    Asherah29 Posts: 354 Member
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    I just assumed it was him because he said he was going to do it and he used to do that kind of thing all the time when I first started.

    I wouldn't want to play with you any more either.
  • missomgitsica
    missomgitsica Posts: 496 Member
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    I don't think you should have apologized, it probably was him. At the same time, I think you're being silly . . . I feel like "OMG I'm depressed and can't handle the smell of chocolate right now" is some serious diva behavior.
  • Cardio4Cupcakes
    Cardio4Cupcakes Posts: 289 Member
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    I would have just moved it to another area.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    Also, pretty sure he did it.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    Not at all...reminds me of a story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".

    You and I interpreted very different morals from that story.

    ETA:
    I, too, though of The Boy Who Cried Wolf while reading your post.

    Seriously? Is there a completely different version of this story that I'm not aware of?

    Now I'm feeling better that I'm not the only one who thought that reference made no sense.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    Maybe I'm more of a horrible person, because when I found it on my desk after asking not to have it there, I'd have thrown it in the garbage.
  • Asherah29
    Asherah29 Posts: 354 Member
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    Maybe I'm more of a horrible person, because when I found it on my desk after asking not to have it there, I'd have thrown it in the garbage.

    I think there's a difference in chucking the stuff in the garbage and elevating the whole situation by dumping it all over someones work desk and leaving a rude note. Dude may have been being a jerk, but OP threw herself in the jackwagon train as well.

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