I feel like a horrible person... :(
Replies
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Born and raised in the USA and in every office I've ever worked in....varying degrees of this goes on (among other things). Is everyone that way? Of course not...but I cannot wait to retire because this is pretty much it. Kindergarten everywhere. It explains a lot these days. frown (Oh, and sometimes the employers ARE part of it).
^^^ OMG this a million times over.
Seriously, where ARE these places? I worked in journalism for years and we didn't even behave that way.
Two words: Government. Work.
And....Sales...and Customer Service.
The Office isn't just a TV show... its real life for some of us...0 -
Not at all...reminds me of a story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".
You and I interpreted very different morals from that story.
ETA:I, too, though of The Boy Who Cried Wolf while reading your post.
Seriously? Is there a completely different version of this story that I'm not aware of?
Other than the version in which the boy repeatedly exhibits bad behavior and as a result is judged based on said bad behavior?0 -
Not at all...reminds me of a story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".
You and I interpreted very different morals from that story.
ETA:I, too, though of The Boy Who Cried Wolf while reading your post.
Seriously? Is there a completely different version of this story that I'm not aware of?
Boy says wolf is about to eat him, towns people run to help. Boy laughs, he's making it up. This repeats a few times. There actually is a wolf, boy cries to the towns people but they think he's joking again so they don't come. Wolf eats boy.
I can see a similar relationship here. He joked he was going to do something (even did do it several times) and then that something happened (again) so he got blamed.0 -
You should of taken all the candy and stored it in your home freezer to give out on Halloween and save yourself money.
I would be pissed to have the goodie table near my desk as well and would simply ask if they cant find a place for it elsewhere to be personally moved away from it to a different cube. You reacted maybe over reacting and said you were sorry, it most likely was him but just let it go, its over. Now go have a candy bar! JK0 -
Not sure where you work but it sounds like a terrible place to work. No offense...
dude is probably lying and placed them on your desk.
If you think one (potentially) bad coworker means it is a "terrible place to work"...
...well...
...it just doesn't.0 -
Not at all...reminds me of a story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".
You and I interpreted very different morals from that story.
ETA:I, too, though of The Boy Who Cried Wolf while reading your post.
Seriously? Is there a completely different version of this story that I'm not aware of?
Other than the version in which the boy repeatedly exhibits bad behavior and as a result is judged based on said bad behavior?
I'm clearly in the minority here, so maybe I'm wrong.
Or maybe I think there are some more than subtle differences that change the moral.
Nah, I'm going with the former.0 -
Sounds to me like he's trying to play around a little and be funny, but just is too insensitive about it.
And you shouldn't feel like a horrible person.0 -
You Americans are Drcrazy :noway: Has the workplace become a kindergarten?? How do you stay energized through the day when you eat candy all day and how do you keep focused on your assignments when there is candy right in front of you? What do your employers think of this?
He's lucky he didn't get shot. Candy dumped on the desk? Pfft, that's tame for Americans.
Right? I mean, at least she didn't release her pet bald eagle to crap red, white and blue all over his desk.
^^ This made me laugh.0 -
Sounds to me like he's trying to play around a little and be funny, but just is too insensitive about it.
And you shouldn't feel like a horrible person.
That is him in a nutshell. He wants to be the office clown but doesn't know when he's gone too far. But I've explained to him a few different times that some of the things he says and does are over the line, not just to me but to others as well. It just doesn't ever seem to stick to him.0 -
Because you are.
horrible and a drama queen
That as well.0 -
Because you are.
horrible and a drama queen
That as well.
^^^ hilarious - seems like a lot of fuss about nothing.0 -
Now to the "I'm a horrible person" part. This morning I come in to find one of the candy bowls on my desk. I was furious! I dumped the whole bowl out on his chair and put a note saying "If I find this on my desk again I'm going to throw it in the trash! Not kidding!" Well, a little bit later when he came in to find a mess of candy all over his chair and desk (+a very b!tchy note), he tells me it wasn't him.
I wouldn't say you're a horrible person. It may have turned out to be an overreaction, or a misdirected reaction, though. But you do say you had a history of him trying to push food on you. I'd like to think he could understand why you might have thought it was him.
This particular note is pretty benign. You didn't call him any names. Whether he did or did not do it, it wasn't a personal attack on him. You simply said you'd throw the candy in the trash. You didn't threaten retaliation or say you were going to going to HR, or anything like that.
If it was him, he knows you didn't find it funny. If it wasn't, what does he care if you threaten to throw candy in the trash?
He said he didn't do it. You say you believe him. You made your apologies. I'd say the best thing to do is move on unless someone or something else brings up the issue.
If he did it, and he does it again and you can prove it, react as you see fit, because he's brought it upon himself by not dropping the issue. If he's telling the truth, the worst thing you can do is hold something he didn't do against him.0 -
Because you are.
horrible and a drama queen
That as well.
^^^ hilarious - seems like a lot of fuss about nothing.
Just wondering, am I a drama queen for getting upset about the candy on my desk or for worrying about how I handled it? Or both? I know I have a tendancy to overreact, I'm trying to figure out where I can improve on myself.
Although I've never been called a drama queen before. Normally I try to avoid drama at all costs as it tends to not sit well with me.0 -
I just assumed it was him because he said he was going to do it and he used to do that kind of thing all the time when I first started.
I wouldn't want to play with you any more either.0 -
I don't think you should have apologized, it probably was him. At the same time, I think you're being silly . . . I feel like "OMG I'm depressed and can't handle the smell of chocolate right now" is some serious diva behavior.0
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I would have just moved it to another area.0
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Also, pretty sure he did it.0
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Not at all...reminds me of a story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".
You and I interpreted very different morals from that story.
ETA:I, too, though of The Boy Who Cried Wolf while reading your post.
Seriously? Is there a completely different version of this story that I'm not aware of?
Now I'm feeling better that I'm not the only one who thought that reference made no sense.0 -
Maybe I'm more of a horrible person, because when I found it on my desk after asking not to have it there, I'd have thrown it in the garbage.0
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Maybe I'm more of a horrible person, because when I found it on my desk after asking not to have it there, I'd have thrown it in the garbage.
I think there's a difference in chucking the stuff in the garbage and elevating the whole situation by dumping it all over someones work desk and leaving a rude note. Dude may have been being a jerk, but OP threw herself in the jackwagon train as well.0 -
I'd say the fact you are so bothered by this one incident means you can't be a horrible person. You are simply someone who was having not such a good day. Trust me, I've also reacted in a bad way when having a bad day.
Forgive yourself for having a bad day (we all have them, don't we?) and forgive whoever really did do it - they can't help being an inconsiderate so and so, can they?0 -
I don't think you should have apologized, it probably was him. At the same time, I think you're being silly . . . I feel like "OMG I'm depressed and can't handle the smell of chocolate right now" is some serious diva behavior.
I've struggled with depression my entire life. I refuse to be on medication for it because I hate the way it makes me feel. I have periods that can last anywhere from a few days to a few months where I just feel like I can't handle it anymore. I have to force myself to crawl out of bed. If it weren't for my husband, I honestly don't know if I would get out some days.
I haven't felt like this since I started my diet a year ago. The last few weeks have been harder and harder to get through and the last week I felt like I was drowning every single day. I started to notice that I was eating more and more chocolate to the point of "needing" it when I woke up.
There have been numerous studies showing that some people's brain react to chocolate similarlly to drugs. For some people chocolate is like taking a drug. I started realizing that I craved chocolate hoping it would pull me out of the depression. Of course it never did, after a temp "high" I felt worse than before.
This behavor is not healthy. In order for me to get past it, I need to avoid my "drug". I decided last weekend, no more chocolate until I kick this and get back to normal. The smell of chocolate was too much for me when my mind did nothing but scream for it nonstop and something inside me kept saying "chocholate will make you happy".
It's like trying to quit any addiction, having it near you and being able to smell it can be triggering. I don't think it was too much to ask for him to keep his candy at his desk.0 -
Because you are.
horrible and a drama queen
That as well.
^^^ hilarious - seems like a lot of fuss about nothing.
Just wondering, am I a drama queen for getting upset about the candy on my desk or for worrying about how I handled it? Or both? I know I have a tendency to overreact, I'm trying to figure out where I can improve on myself.
Although I've never been called a drama queen before. Normally I try to avoid drama at all costs as it tends to not sit well with me.
Both -0 -
I don't think you should have apologized, it probably was him. At the same time, I think you're being silly . . . I feel like "OMG I'm depressed and can't handle the smell of chocolate right now" is some serious diva behavior.
I've struggled with depression my entire life. I refuse to be on medication for it because I hate the way it makes me feel. I have periods that can last anywhere from a few days to a few months where I just feel like I can't handle it anymore. I have to force myself to crawl out of bed. If it weren't for my husband, I honestly don't know if I would get out some days.
I haven't felt like this since I started my diet a year ago. The last few weeks have been harder and harder to get through and the last week I felt like I was drowning every single day. I started to notice that I was eating more and more chocolate to the point of "needing" it when I woke up.
There have been numerous studies showing that some people's brain react to chocolate similarlly to drugs. For some people chocolate is like taking a drug. I started realizing that I craved chocolate hoping it would pull me out of the depression. Of course it never did, after a temp "high" I felt worse than before.
This behavor is not healthy. In order for me to get past it, I need to avoid my "drug". I decided last weekend, no more chocolate until I kick this and get back to normal. The smell of chocolate was too much for me when my mind did nothing but scream for it nonstop and something inside me kept saying "chocholate will make you happy".
It's like trying to quit any addiction, having it near you and being able to smell it can be triggering. I don't think it was too much to ask for him to keep his candy at his desk.
You're throwing the responsibility for your actions on someone else.
And if you're really treating chocolate like a "drug" and an "addiction" then your first step (like in rehab) is to take responsibility for your actions. You hold the power over yourself and not anyone else. Don't want the smell of it around you, then chunk it. It may be polite form for someone else to comply with your request, but in reality they are under no compunction to do so.0 -
I don't think you should have apologized, it probably was him. At the same time, I think you're being silly . . . I feel like "OMG I'm depressed and can't handle the smell of chocolate right now" is some serious diva behavior.
I've struggled with depression my entire life. I refuse to be on medication for it because I hate the way it makes me feel. I have periods that can last anywhere from a few days to a few months where I just feel like I can't handle it anymore. I have to force myself to crawl out of bed. If it weren't for my husband, I honestly don't know if I would get out some days.
I haven't felt like this since I started my diet a year ago. The last few weeks have been harder and harder to get through and the last week I felt like I was drowning every single day. I started to notice that I was eating more and more chocolate to the point of "needing" it when I woke up.
There have been numerous studies showing that some people's brain react to chocolate similarlly to drugs. For some people chocolate is like taking a drug. I started realizing that I craved chocolate hoping it would pull me out of the depression. Of course it never did, after a temp "high" I felt worse than before.
This behavor is not healthy. In order for me to get past it, I need to avoid my "drug". I decided last weekend, no more chocolate until I kick this and get back to normal. The smell of chocolate was too much for me when my mind did nothing but scream for it nonstop and something inside me kept saying "chocholate will make you happy".
It's like trying to quit any addiction, having it near you and being able to smell it can be triggering. I don't think it was too much to ask for him to keep his candy at his desk.
You're throwing the responsibility for your actions on someone else.
And if you're really treating chocolate like a "drug" and an "addiction" then your first step (like in rehab) is to take responsibility for your actions. You hold the power over yourself and not anyone else. Don't want the smell of it around you, then chunk it. It may be polite form for someone else to comply with your request, but in reality they are under no compunction to do so.
I feel like I'm fully taking responsability for my actions. I realize that I'm using chocolate to control my emotions, that's me, no one else. I found chocolate right outside my desk triggering so I asked my coworker to move it to his desk and I asked him not to put any on my desk because I'm trying to cut out chocolate (didn't go into why). When it was on my desk this morning I overracted and was a b!tch about it.
That's all me. No one else to blame. Even this funk I've been in making me feel like I do is my fault. I need to just learn to snap out of it and move on but for some reason I can't. Again, all my fault.0 -
I don't think you should have apologized, it probably was him. At the same time, I think you're being silly . . . I feel like "OMG I'm depressed and can't handle the smell of chocolate right now" is some serious diva behavior.
I've struggled with depression my entire life. I refuse to be on medication for it because I hate the way it makes me feel. I have periods that can last anywhere from a few days to a few months where I just feel like I can't handle it anymore. I have to force myself to crawl out of bed. If it weren't for my husband, I honestly don't know if I would get out some days.
I haven't felt like this since I started my diet a year ago. The last few weeks have been harder and harder to get through and the last week I felt like I was drowning every single day. I started to notice that I was eating more and more chocolate to the point of "needing" it when I woke up.
There have been numerous studies showing that some people's brain react to chocolate similarlly to drugs. For some people chocolate is like taking a drug. I started realizing that I craved chocolate hoping it would pull me out of the depression. Of course it never did, after a temp "high" I felt worse than before.
This behavor is not healthy. In order for me to get past it, I need to avoid my "drug". I decided last weekend, no more chocolate until I kick this and get back to normal. The smell of chocolate was too much for me when my mind did nothing but scream for it nonstop and something inside me kept saying "chocholate will make you happy".
It's like trying to quit any addiction, having it near you and being able to smell it can be triggering. I don't think it was too much to ask for him to keep his candy at his desk.
You're throwing the responsibility for your actions on someone else.
And if you're really treating chocolate like a "drug" and an "addiction" then your first step (like in rehab) is to take responsibility for your actions. You hold the power over yourself and not anyone else. Don't want the smell of it around you, then chunk it. It may be polite form for someone else to comply with your request, but in reality they are under no compunction to do so.
I feel like I'm fully taking responsability for my actions. I realize that I'm using chocolate to control my emotions, that's me, no one else. I found chocolate right outside my desk triggering so I asked my coworker to move it to his desk and I asked him not to put any on my desk because I'm trying to cut out chocolate (didn't go into why). When it was on my desk this morning I overracted and was a b!tch about it.
That's all me. No one else to blame. Even this funk I've been in making me feel like I do is my fault. I need to just learn to snap out of it and move on but for some reason I can't. Again, all my fault.
You asked someone else to comply to your demands. They didn't and instead of moving the chocolate yourself you dumped candy on someones desk because they left a bowl of it on yours. Then instead of just apologizing to the person for the overreaction you made a thread on mfp asking if you were a horrible person to justify what you had done (or not, don't know what you were thinking here).
While you're realizing chocolate is a trigger is a good step, these other things don't count as taking responsibility for yourself.0 -
I don't think you should have apologized, it probably was him. At the same time, I think you're being silly . . . I feel like "OMG I'm depressed and can't handle the smell of chocolate right now" is some serious diva behavior.
I've struggled with depression my entire life. I refuse to be on medication for it because I hate the way it makes me feel. I have periods that can last anywhere from a few days to a few months where I just feel like I can't handle it anymore. I have to force myself to crawl out of bed. If it weren't for my husband, I honestly don't know if I would get out some days.
I haven't felt like this since I started my diet a year ago. The last few weeks have been harder and harder to get through and the last week I felt like I was drowning every single day. I started to notice that I was eating more and more chocolate to the point of "needing" it when I woke up.
There have been numerous studies showing that some people's brain react to chocolate similarlly to drugs. For some people chocolate is like taking a drug. I started realizing that I craved chocolate hoping it would pull me out of the depression. Of course it never did, after a temp "high" I felt worse than before.
This behavor is not healthy. In order for me to get past it, I need to avoid my "drug". I decided last weekend, no more chocolate until I kick this and get back to normal. The smell of chocolate was too much for me when my mind did nothing but scream for it nonstop and something inside me kept saying "chocholate will make you happy".
It's like trying to quit any addiction, having it near you and being able to smell it can be triggering. I don't think it was too much to ask for him to keep his candy at his desk.
You're throwing the responsibility for your actions on someone else.
And if you're really treating chocolate like a "drug" and an "addiction" then your first step (like in rehab) is to take responsibility for your actions. You hold the power over yourself and not anyone else. Don't want the smell of it around you, then chunk it. It may be polite form for someone else to comply with your request, but in reality they are under no compunction to do so.
I feel like I'm fully taking responsability for my actions. I realize that I'm using chocolate to control my emotions, that's me, no one else. I found chocolate right outside my desk triggering so I asked my coworker to move it to his desk and I asked him not to put any on my desk because I'm trying to cut out chocolate (didn't go into why). When it was on my desk this morning I overracted and was a b!tch about it.
That's all me. No one else to blame. Even this funk I've been in making me feel like I do is my fault. I need to just learn to snap out of it and move on but for some reason I can't. Again, all my fault.
You asked someone else to comply to your demands. They didn't and instead of moving the chocolate yourself you dumped candy on someones desk because they left a bowl of it on yours. Then instead of just apologizing to the person for the overreaction you made a thread on mfp asking if you were a horrible person to justify what you had done (or not, don't know what you were thinking here).
While you're realizing chocolate is a trigger is a good step, these other things don't count as taking responsibility for yourself.
I appologized as soon as he said he didn't do it. I never even questioned him, I took his word that he didn't do it and appologized. I made this thread for support. I feel horrible for acting like I did and I was hoping I would get a few people saying "yes you overreacted but it happens. Move on" I really didn't expect anyone to agree with my actions or say what I did was right. I honestly expected to get a lot of people saying I was horrible like you and a couple others did.
Again, I was just looking for a little support. We all need a shoulder sometimes.0 -
It's really not that serious. Might be a little awkward for a day or two but it will smooth over. Try not to lose your *kitten* over food, it's just food, ok? Here's a flower and have a good rest of your day :flowerforyou:I don't think you should have apologized, it probably was him. At the same time, I think you're being silly . . . I feel like "OMG I'm depressed and can't handle the smell of chocolate right now" is some serious diva behavior.
I've struggled with depression my entire life. I refuse to be on medication for it because I hate the way it makes me feel. I have periods that can last anywhere from a few days to a few months where I just feel like I can't handle it anymore. I have to force myself to crawl out of bed. If it weren't for my husband, I honestly don't know if I would get out some days.
I haven't felt like this since I started my diet a year ago. The last few weeks have been harder and harder to get through and the last week I felt like I was drowning every single day. I started to notice that I was eating more and more chocolate to the point of "needing" it when I woke up.
There have been numerous studies showing that some people's brain react to chocolate similarlly to drugs. For some people chocolate is like taking a drug. I started realizing that I craved chocolate hoping it would pull me out of the depression. Of course it never did, after a temp "high" I felt worse than before.
This behavor is not healthy. In order for me to get past it, I need to avoid my "drug". I decided last weekend, no more chocolate until I kick this and get back to normal. The smell of chocolate was too much for me when my mind did nothing but scream for it nonstop and something inside me kept saying "chocholate will make you happy".
It's like trying to quit any addiction, having it near you and being able to smell it can be triggering. I don't think it was too much to ask for him to keep his candy at his desk.
You're throwing the responsibility for your actions on someone else.
And if you're really treating chocolate like a "drug" and an "addiction" then your first step (like in rehab) is to take responsibility for your actions. You hold the power over yourself and not anyone else. Don't want the smell of it around you, then chunk it. It may be polite form for someone else to comply with your request, but in reality they are under no compunction to do so.
I feel like I'm fully taking responsability for my actions. I realize that I'm using chocolate to control my emotions, that's me, no one else. I found chocolate right outside my desk triggering so I asked my coworker to move it to his desk and I asked him not to put any on my desk because I'm trying to cut out chocolate (didn't go into why). When it was on my desk this morning I overracted and was a b!tch about it.
That's all me. No one else to blame. Even this funk I've been in making me feel like I do is my fault. I need to just learn to snap out of it and move on but for some reason I can't. Again, all my fault.
You asked someone else to comply to your demands. They didn't and instead of moving the chocolate yourself you dumped candy on someones desk because they left a bowl of it on yours. Then instead of just apologizing to the person for the overreaction you made a thread on mfp asking if you were a horrible person to justify what you had done (or not, don't know what you were thinking here)
While you're realizing chocolate is a trigger is a good step, these other things don't count as taking responsibility for yourself.
I appologized as soon as he said he didn't do it. I never even questioned him, I took his word that he didn't do it and appologized. I made this thread for support. I feel horrible for acting like I did and I was hoping I would get a few people saying "yes you overreacted but it happens. Move on" I really didn't expect anyone to agree with my actions or say what I did was right. I honestly expected to get a lot of people saying I was horrible like you and a couple others did.
Again, I was just looking for a little support. We all need a shoulder sometimes.0 -
I don't think you should have apologized, it probably was him. At the same time, I think you're being silly . . . I feel like "OMG I'm depressed and can't handle the smell of chocolate right now" is some serious diva behavior.
I've struggled with depression my entire life. I refuse to be on medication for it because I hate the way it makes me feel. I have periods that can last anywhere from a few days to a few months where I just feel like I can't handle it anymore. I have to force myself to crawl out of bed. If it weren't for my husband, I honestly don't know if I would get out some days.
I haven't felt like this since I started my diet a year ago. The last few weeks have been harder and harder to get through and the last week I felt like I was drowning every single day. I started to notice that I was eating more and more chocolate to the point of "needing" it when I woke up.
There have been numerous studies showing that some people's brain react to chocolate similarlly to drugs. For some people chocolate is like taking a drug. I started realizing that I craved chocolate hoping it would pull me out of the depression. Of course it never did, after a temp "high" I felt worse than before.
This behavor is not healthy. In order for me to get past it, I need to avoid my "drug". I decided last weekend, no more chocolate until I kick this and get back to normal. The smell of chocolate was too much for me when my mind did nothing but scream for it nonstop and something inside me kept saying "chocholate will make you happy".
It's like trying to quit any addiction, having it near you and being able to smell it can be triggering. I don't think it was too much to ask for him to keep his candy at his desk.
You're throwing the responsibility for your actions on someone else.
And if you're really treating chocolate like a "drug" and an "addiction" then your first step (like in rehab) is to take responsibility for your actions. You hold the power over yourself and not anyone else. Don't want the smell of it around you, then chunk it. It may be polite form for someone else to comply with your request, but in reality they are under no compunction to do so.
I feel like I'm fully taking responsability for my actions. I realize that I'm using chocolate to control my emotions, that's me, no one else. I found chocolate right outside my desk triggering so I asked my coworker to move it to his desk and I asked him not to put any on my desk because I'm trying to cut out chocolate (didn't go into why). When it was on my desk this morning I overracted and was a b!tch about it.
That's all me. No one else to blame. Even this funk I've been in making me feel like I do is my fault. I need to just learn to snap out of it and move on but for some reason I can't. Again, all my fault.
You asked someone else to comply to your demands. They didn't and instead of moving the chocolate yourself you dumped candy on someones desk because they left a bowl of it on yours. Then instead of just apologizing to the person for the overreaction you made a thread on mfp asking if you were a horrible person to justify what you had done (or not, don't know what you were thinking here).
While you're realizing chocolate is a trigger is a good step, these other things don't count as taking responsibility for yourself.
I appologized as soon as he said he didn't do it. I never even questioned him, I took his word that he didn't do it and appologized. I made this thread for support. I feel horrible for acting like I did and I was hoping I would get a few people saying "yes you overreacted but it happens. Move on" I really didn't expect anyone to agree with my actions or say what I did was right. I honestly expected to get a lot of people saying I was horrible like you and a couple others did.
Again, I was just looking for a little support. We all need a shoulder sometimes.
Never once did I say you were horrible. I did imply that your reaction was inappropriate and uncalled for. If you've apologized to the guy there is no real need for anything more.0 -
My coworkers don't do things like that and even brought in healthy food for my birthday.0
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