need to vent..
jAdorelife
Posts: 95
i apologize in advance for anyone that finds this post counter productive & pointless to the site but im so angry i want to scream & this is the only thing i can think of doing. i havent told my family or anyone that i'm dieting just because they're really judgemental & they tend to not be supportive. & we were having dinner tonight & one of my brothers friends said,
"i mean once someone is fat it doesnt really matter if they ever lose it because they're body is still gonna be nasty, and even if **** does go back to the way it's supposed to no one wants to be with the fat girl or reformed fat girl"
granted no one knows i'm trying to lose weight, but obviously at over 200 lbs. it's not a secret i should drop a little. i'm so offended and disgusted that i dont even know what to do with myself. AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING TO HIM, seven people other than me and no one disagreed. i feel like trash right now, absolute trash.
"i mean once someone is fat it doesnt really matter if they ever lose it because they're body is still gonna be nasty, and even if **** does go back to the way it's supposed to no one wants to be with the fat girl or reformed fat girl"
granted no one knows i'm trying to lose weight, but obviously at over 200 lbs. it's not a secret i should drop a little. i'm so offended and disgusted that i dont even know what to do with myself. AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING TO HIM, seven people other than me and no one disagreed. i feel like trash right now, absolute trash.
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Replies
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You are not trash. You are doing what you think is best for you, and your brother's friend is an insensitive ignoramous.
Remember you are intelligent, and willing to put forth the effort to better your life. This guy obviously has no intentions of ever becoming smarter, and he never will if no one tells him where to stick his delightfully devoid of rationality insights.
Honestly I'm trying to say as many nice big words as possible so that the sweary ones don't come out. I would have torn that guy a new one had I been at your table, and you know what, I'm at your table here.
I vow to never let you put yourself down, and to never put you down so long as you are here.
Also, punch your brother for bringing that d-bag to dinner.0 -
never mind what anyone else says, some folks spout rubbish, believe me i've had more than my fair share of rude ignorant people to tend with in my life too. Do this for you and to please you and improve your health and well being. good luck to you love.0
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He needs your pity not your anger. Don't let the losers of the world get in the way of you being a winner.0
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He is shallow, superficial and ignotant. Pity him, as he will never know true happiness.0
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totally agree that your brother's friend is an insensitive ignoramous........but, the world is full of them.......
carry on with your plans and your goals, you are headed in the right direction and don't let some one like this pull you down
It may be best that no one said anything to him about his comments.......why give him more of a platform for his insensitive comments0 -
I can understand your anger...no one stood your corner but maybe thats simply because they were open mouthed at the cretins stupid speech! Whatever is the case don't let it hinder you, use it and make the prat eat his words!0
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Holy hell, I would have gone off on his *kitten*. I can't even believe know one did!
I'll tell you this right now, there are many different types of 'fat' that you can be. You can be 'my fat' type, which in my little world only really means I have a decent 10 pounds to lose before you can see my six pack. There's 'normal' fat, which means you sorta just eat what you want, don't really work out, but you don't stuff your face. 'Chubby' fat is if you know you like food and you definitely over eat here and there. 'Fat' fat when you should really start to think about changing your diet / exercise habits. Then 'Obese', which is truly not very pleasant or healthy at all. I don't mean the person is unpleasant, but being obese is not something to be proud of or joke about. A person who is obese is sadly obsessed about food, just like a drug addict with his / her drugs. (Before I catch flak for saying this, I'm not at all talking about every person who has ever been obese or fat ever in the world, I'm not that ignorant to not realize that some people may just be genetically wired differently and need doctors treatment)
Going back to your 200 pounds... Uhhh... Please... ;-) That's not discusting whatsoever. You are not obese, hell I wouldn't even call you fat. You may have pounds you want to shed and that's awesome! We'll be here to cheer you on! So please, don't let *kitten* like that one tonight even try to change your mind. Sounds to me like he's got self esteem issues or some ****, I don't know. You just worry about you. No one wants to be with a refined fat person?! That's probably the most dumbest mess I've read in a loooong time!
No one is gonna judge you for having a couple pounds. No one is gonna judge you after you lose those couple pounds. However you will be judged by your character, so make sure you have at least a decent one of those and I think you should be a-o-k. :-) Don't let some worthless *kitten* stop you from losing weight and feeling good about it. Keep your head held high. :-)0 -
can i ask if your brother's friends is single? because if he is, he'll never get a woman coming out with those ignorant comments. And if he isnt, just wait until his wife/girlfriend has children...he has a big ego shock coming!0
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I actually love people like that.. oh yeah, they piss me off big time. But guess what else that does for me? It motivates me. I love to end up on top and make sure whomever slighted me know they effed up... big time. So, keep the jerk around (but not too closely - seeing the work in progress won't have the same effect as later when you're lookin' hotter than whatever hoe he's bangin' at the moment!). Then, go out and get yourself an equally hot date, bring HIM (or her) to dinner and just watch A**hole's jaw drop. Oh, and make sure the date is well educated; that will REALLY put dude in his place.
The best part about these situations (for me), is that I actually end up being a better person at the end of it all and ultimately, I have to thank the jerk(s) that got me to get my butt in gear. So, as the saying goes - don't get angry. Get even. But not in a purely vindictive way.... do it by succeeding at your goals and being better than him; then top it off with sugar sweetness when he's drooling and let him know in no uncertain terms that he's not got the slightest bit of a chance.
Yep.. LOVE people like that. ;-)0 -
I actually love people like that.. oh yeah, they piss me off big time. But guess what else that does for me? It motivates me. I love to end up on top and make sure whomever slighted me know they effed up... big time. So, keep the jerk around (but not too closely - seeing the work in progress won't have the same effect as later when you're lookin' hotter than whatever hoe he's bangin' at the moment!). Then, go out and get yourself an equally hot date, bring HIM (or her) to dinner and just watch A**hole's jaw drop. Oh, and make sure the date is well educated; that will REALLY put dude in his place.
The best part about these situations (for me), is that I actually end up being a better person at the end of it all and ultimately, I have to thank the jerk(s) that got me to get my butt in gear. So, as the saying goes - don't get angry. Get even. But not in a purely vindictive way.... do it by succeeding at your goals and being better than him; then top it off with sugar sweetness when he's drooling and let him know in no uncertain terms that he's not got the slightest bit of a chance.
Yep.. LOVE people like that. ;-)
That's what I'm talkin about, use it as fuel! I've been remotivated / refueled twice by people that say certain things.0 -
I can't believe he said that and no one at the table said anything. I would have lost it, but I have a really big mouth. Don't let someone like get you down.0
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that is one of the most disgusting things i have ever heard! i'm so sorry that you have to be subjected to people like this.
please don't let it demotivate you, plese try to be strong!
you are and amazing person and you shouldn't have to listen to such small minded people!
(((((((((((((((((((((( HUGS )))))))))))))))))))))))0 -
You are not trash. You are doing what you think is best for you, and your brother's friend is an insensitive ignoramous.
Remember you are intelligent, and willing to put forth the effort to better your life. This guy obviously has no intentions of ever becoming smarter, and he never will if no one tells him where to stick his delightfully devoid of rationality insights.
Honestly I'm trying to say as many nice big words as possible so that the sweary ones don't come out. I would have torn that guy a new one had I been at your table, and you know what, I'm at your table here.
I vow to never let you put yourself down, and to never put you down so long as you are here.
Also, punch your brother for bringing that d-bag to dinner.
thank you, i appreciate it
oh & trust me my brother is not getting off easy he can do his own laundry & clean his own room for a while cause im over itttt.0 -
thanks everyone, i appreciate the support<3 i just did my insanity workout & i feel better & burned 350 cals more than usual!!!!! i guess anger is the best motivation! (:0
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I commend you for keeping your cool and class, I have been through a similar situation and ended up punching the person and regretted it later on after realizing that I behaved trashy and stooped down to the persons level. The main reason I say that I stooped down to their level is this.... the person who is insulting you is doing so out of their own insecurities and are probably trying to trigger a reaction, you have great strength in staying calm. I guarantee the rest of the crowd was not fully agreeing with him even though they did not confront him, I bet they thought he was a huge egotistical jerk..they probably were afraid of conflict. Anyone who makes statements like that about other human beings truly and honestly has issues and I do not respect that.0
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thank you, i appreciate it
oh & trust me my brother is not getting off easy he can do his own laundry & clean his own room for a while cause im over itttt.
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Unless he is under the age of 7 or disabled in some way shouldnt he be doing that anyway....
I would make him do his own cleaning up as part of your new lifestyle and ignore the cave dweller moron friend of his. 0 -
I commend you for keeping your cool and class, I have been through a similar situation and ended up punching the person and regretted it later on after realizing that I behaved trashy and stooped down to the persons level.
ahh trust me i thought about it. honestly though i dont think he even realized what he said just because he's known me forever haha like i say my brothers friend cause im angry, but i love my little chris, he's just a moron. if i had of been directed at me i probably would have lost it & punched him in the face (wouldnt be the first time haha). it just pisses me off that no one at the table said something about it. i was way too busy trying not to scream at him to speak & thats my fault, but i have three crazy over protective brothers and all three of them just sat there. like what the eff? had i of brought a boy to dinner & we would have played one heated game of 21 questions all damn night, but when they really should say something they just sit there & eat.0 -
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Unless he is under the age of 7 or disabled in some way shouldnt he be doing that anyway.... I would make him do his own cleaning up as part of your new lifestyle and ignore the cave dweller moron friend of his.
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hahaha he's 19 & i still do his laundry & 95% of his chores, car upkeep, & money managing. i guess it's his lack of responsibility & my need to make sure he doesn't make an *kitten* of himself since he's the only one younger than me ):0 -
The guy sounds like he'd be lucky to get near anybody's junk & obviously has no frame of reference. I can totally understand why you're upset, and how this idiot was obviously being thoughtless and insensitive, perhaps he doesn't consider you 'fat'?
I think if I'd been round that table I may not have said anything (because that'd be shining a spotlight on you) but I'd have walked away with the impression that your brothers friend is a XXXX.0 -
i totally think you need to use this as Motivation Here's what you do .everytime you don't feel like sticking to your attack plan {diet,workout}etc.you think of this guy and how bad he made you feel and aim to prove him wrong by getting in the best shape of your life and guess what?when your're reached your goal he will be drooling for the former ''fat''girl That I guarantee.and BAM!!revenge served.0
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'fat' is all objective.
i know girls that think beyonce is fat- and we all know she is a godess!?
the only thing you need to think from this is that your not your brothers type... thats sounds like a good thing unless your from the deep DEEP south
think about it, a girl who was once big and now isnt hasnt more self control than any girl who doesnt have to work to stay thin (and from a bf's point of view she thinks before she puts anything in her mouth- winner!?!) so surely a guy should see that she works hard, cares about her body and is pro-active.
honestly- beauty is in the eye of the beholder, its taken me years to see this but if someone doesnt appreciate it- toss their *kitten* to the curb!0 -
Omg!!! What a horrible thing to hear and say! Dont listen to crAp like that- it's totally not true... U'll show them when u rock ur hot bod. But seriously why do we let people get away with knocking fat people? That is disgusting- like that time vogue or some magazine said that they think the show mike n Molly is disgusting cuz they're fat. People are such biggots! 'molly' is so adorable n I actually think she lost alot of weight since gilmore girls. U keep going! And by the way- besides my husband I didn't tell anyone I'm dieting either. Can't wait to see their shock and envy! when Im wearing a size 2. ( ok maybe 4) hopefully by this summer!0
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loli totally think you need to use this as Motivation Here's what you do .everytime you don't feel like sticking to your attack plan {diet,workout}etc.you think of this guy and how bad he made you feel and aim to prove him wrong by getting in the best shape of your life and guess what?when your're reached your goal he will be drooling for the former ''fat''girl That I guarantee.and BAM!!revenge served.0 -
the only thing you need to think from this is that your not your brothers type... thats sounds like a good thing unless your from the deep DEEP south
way to comment on ignorance with an ignorant comment of your own!!!0 -
i totally think you need to use this as Motivation Here's what you do .everytime you don't feel like sticking to your attack plan {diet,workout}etc.you think of this guy and how bad he made you feel and aim to prove him wrong by getting in the best shape of your life and guess what?when your're reached your goal he will be drooling for the former ''fat''girl That I guarantee.and BAM!!revenge served.
I agree, my sister is the former "Fat Girl" & a guy used to tease her & be mean to her & she hated him & he hated her.... UNTIL she stuck to her goal.... now they are happily married!0 -
thanks everyone, i appreciate the support<3 i just did my insanity workout & i feel better & burned 350 cals more than usual!!!!! i guess anger is the best motivation! (:
Just the fact that you can DO insanity speaks to your commitment and motivation.
F-him for making such a mean comment, I bet he wouldnt' be able to rock a workout like that!0 -
oh god, that guy is clearly an *kitten*. don't let what he said get to you. i know a lot of girls who successfully lost the weight and, i don't know how their bodies look but they have had no trouble in the dating area! that guy is an ignorant waste of time.0
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What a douche. Probably has some issues himself that can't be fixed.0
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what a dipstick he is
what does he do? prescreen every girl he is ever interested in and ask if they ever had a weight problem? *rme* as IF!
i do love karma.. odds are HE is going to end up the one with weight issues in the future... let's see if he feels the same way then, cause, what goes around comes around.0 -
i apologize in advance for anyone that finds this post counter productive & pointless to the site but im so angry i want to scream & this is the only thing i can think of doing. i havent told my family or anyone that i'm dieting just because they're really judgemental & they tend to not be supportive. & we were having dinner tonight & one of my brothers friends said,
"i mean once someone is fat it doesnt really matter if they ever lose it because they're body is still gonna be nasty, and even if **** does go back to the way it's supposed to no one wants to be with the fat girl or reformed fat girl"
granted no one knows i'm trying to lose weight, but obviously at over 200 lbs. it's not a secret i should drop a little. i'm so offended and disgusted that i dont even know what to do with myself. AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING TO HIM, seven people other than me and no one disagreed. i feel like trash right now, absolute trash.
Wow, he's the kind of guy that needs to hit rock bottom to learn his lessons in life obviously. Meaning he isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to interpersonal skills.
At least we know that we can lose fat- that dude probably won't ever change unless life hits him with a 2 x 4 in the face. People like that are miserable emotionally lol.0
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