Help! Feeling Like a Failure!

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agoessli
agoessli Posts: 81 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I'm just sitting in my living room in tears. Sometimes I just feel like I really can't do this. Like I've let myself go for so long now that it really is impossible. I've been doing good with eating but terrible with exercising. I keep getting tendinitis in my knee and so I don't know what to do so that I won't hurt it. I can't afford to go to a fancy gym with a pool and so water exercising is out of the picture. I ordered a plus size pilates dvd and I was so excited but it just doesn't even seem to be a workout and I feel like it was a complete failure. Now, I just feel like I might as well give up because I don't think I can get to where I want to be. I want the old me back but maybe I have to accept who I am now. I just hate myself now...I hate to even say that but I really feel like that a lot. I don't know what to do and I feel like no one understands at all. It's awful to feel this way.
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Replies

  • popcorn27
    popcorn27 Posts: 1 Member
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    Keep trying don't stop
  • bangarangbree
    bangarangbree Posts: 39
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    Honey, just keep going! Even if that dvd doesn't feel like a workout, at least you're moving! Do you have PT you're supposed to be doing for your tendonitis? If not, then you should look some up! The brilliant thing about working out is that it will help with that as long as you do it right! I used to have bad ankles, but taking up jogging and lots of horseback riding has actually helped strengthen them, even though it definitely hurt in the beginning!
  • lradloff
    lradloff Posts: 59 Member
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    Don't give up! Hang in there!! First of all... if you have the food goals set up right, you should be able to (and look like you really have!) be able to lose weight without exercise. Then hopefully as some of the weight comes off, exercising will become easier for you. Second, even doing something light is better than nothing. It's still getting your body used to moving - even if it's light. It's not good to jump in hard core heavy anyway, so try that for now. Then slowly work other things in. I don't know about you, but I live in a cold area, and I"m not big into walking in the cold... but I'm doing other things for now, and will add that in slowly. Start with around the block, or a 1/2 mile or mile... and go from there. If you joined in Jan, and already have 14 lbs down so far, that's truly awesome! Keep up the great work, and don't give up!
  • awhiskee
    awhiskee Posts: 4
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    Absolutely do not stop! I know with my workouts that I'm just not in the same shape as the people in the DVD are, but it's ok for me to do two reps for every three or four of theirs; the point is that I'm moving and I'm finishing the workout. It's really hard sometimes, and I also get depressed when I compare how I am now with how I used to be. I promise you that every little thing you do will make you stronger and more beautiful!

    Please don't give up!!!
  • jmanzoli
    jmanzoli Posts: 1
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    :smile: Hi, I'm not sure where you live, but I have Comcast Cable & on Demand has many work out options for free. I do yoga twice a week & walk 1 day a week. Yoga is very strenghtening & toning, but if done properly, not too demanding on your joints. Maybe you could try a DVD from a local library for free, vs. paying for one before you know if you like it. Don't give up!! It will be worth it in the end!
  • leweverling
    leweverling Posts: 45
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    OH gosh just don't give up! I can totally relate and I let a couple of years get away from me and decided Christmas day of 2010 to take my life back. You have so many great things happening ahead of you to quit now. The pilates does work, I always say this is a marathon not a sprint. Feel free to message me, my story is far to long for the forum but definitely want for your success.
  • jubeliza
    jubeliza Posts: 1
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    I hurt my knee recently so exercising has been a pain... I'm a broke student and I pay $10/mo to go to planet fitness and use the elliptical machines and I can work out without hurting my knee! I don't know if that would help or not... But don't give up. If you really want something and you're sure of it, nothing can stop you.
  • beachgrl79
    beachgrl79 Posts: 12 Member
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    I really know how you feel, I go up and down with feeling like I can do it, and then feeling like I can't. I love to exercise but I also love food, so even when I am kicking my butt at the gym, I often overeat. Don't give up! Movement is great, even if you don't feel like it's a burn. Have you tried walking? My sister in law just started walking, didn't change much of her diet, but because she had been living such a sedentary life, she started losing weight. Don't give up!!!! We can do it. I will be your accountability friend if you like, I could use one! :-)
  • CallmeCola
    CallmeCola Posts: 25
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    I know that feeling also but don't give up! Love the skin ur in, but make yourself healthy. I will never be like I was ESP b4 kids but I'm determine to improve me. It does take a while but hang in there it will drop off. As for your knee...do some PT as suggested. That happened to me at first with the 30 Day Shred but I got some PT, it strengthened my knew and burned good cals.:flowerforyou: Cheer
  • ObviousIndigo
    ObviousIndigo Posts: 382 Member
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    If I can lose 85lbs anyone can!! I think most of the people on here can relate to how you are feeling. You have two choices. You can give up and feel the same way you do now this time next year or you can start eating a little less and moving a little more and feel fabulous about yourself this time next year:)

    Weightloss is not JUST about losing weight... It is about finding yourself under all the reasons for the extra weight you carry. As the weight comes off so do the things that caused that extra weight. You go through stages where you feel like nothing is going right to feeling like you are on top of the world.

    Keep in mind, If it was easy EVERYONE would be doing it. Weightloss involves not just the body. It is a journey of the body, mind and soul. It is a time you will really get to know who you are. When you have achieved your final goal ( and I have complete faith that you will ) you will look back on this and know how strong you are because you did it!

    I am here for you and I am sure a number of others are as well! We can do this together:)
  • rebrafe
    rebrafe Posts: 64
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    Palates always feels like it is easy - to me anyway. I used to say that it wasn't a work out at all, but it really is, so don't stop doing it. You have already lost 14lbs and that is awesome! Just keep that goal in mind and you will get there, you will feel like you again, you just need to remember that tomorrow is a new day AND regardless of losing weight, you are trying to become a healthier person and that is nothing to be discouraged about. As much as you want to give up - don't - you will not regret the progress you have made when you are feeling great and remember how you felt 14 pounds ago? Yep. You've done really well woman.
  • merrillfoster
    merrillfoster Posts: 855 Member
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    OMG I feel like this pretty much every other day--like I'm trying so hard to be good, and I want to get back to where I was, but it seems like nothing is paying off. I was in tears last Friday because of it. I definitely understand, I'm right there with you.

    BUT, all I can think of is how good it will feel to put on those pants that I've been secretly keeping in the back of my closet in anticipation of the day I finally, FINALLY, actually win this battle! So I know it seems hard and impossible now, but if I can do it you can too (and I refuse to believe that I can't do it, no matter how depressed I get sometimes). Nothing is impossible if you want it badly enough. *

    *there are some things that might still be impossible. I probably won't be able to fly, and the guy from White Collar (SO hot!) still hasn't called. BUT, most things aren't impossible, and this one you have complete control over! (unlike gravity or someone's inability to use a phone, lol) :)
  • RetiredArmyGuy
    RetiredArmyGuy Posts: 2 Member
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    Hey..cheer up!! One thing with exercising is never stop...I was in the Army for 21 years got up to 228..down to 173 back up to 230 and I'm at 208. It all starts with attitude. As long as your moving and eating less then what your burning you will loose weight. There was a time when I exercised 6 days a week and ran 30 miles to loss a pound. Your body will try to hold on the to the extra fat calories as a way of conserving energy, but once it realizes it doesn't need them they will start to come off. If you can try and avoid looking in the mirror for a week. At least from the neck down. I say that because most people are their worst critics and will mentally beat themselves up and lock in their "Fat Image" to only get discouraged. That really seemed to help me, If you continue to move, not kill yourself exercising, but move it will come off. You body burns close to 2000 calories a day if you do nothing, so use it to your advantage, adjust your "Will Power" and be like Nike and Just do it!!! :)
  • leslie4health
    leslie4health Posts: 26 Member
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    Don't feel like a failure! You can do it! Just think about what you want to look like. There are so many work out dvd's out there to choose from. I'm sure you could find something that won't hurt your knees so much. I have knee trouble myself and I just push through it. Kick boxing is really good to burn some calories and I don't think it would be bad on your knees. Keep your chin up girl!:happy:
  • Ddavis1967
    Ddavis1967 Posts: 34 Member
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    I totally understand where you are coming from. I used to be thin and athletic and when I got to be chubby and slow I felt like I simply could not do it. I have a long way to go and I am sure you do too, but you have to try. The days are gonna go by whether or not you eat right or exercise, but you dont want to look back to today and have regrets. So hang in there. Any effort is good effort and my new motto is I CAN DO THIS. Actually it is more of a mantra.....I say it over and over and force myself to believe it. YOU CAN DO THIS too. do not give up on yourself! YOU CAN DO THIS>:bigsmile:
  • LaurieB2002
    LaurieB2002 Posts: 16
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    Please hang in there, I understand how you feel. Try to remember you didn't get this way over night and it is not going to change over night. For me that is the hardest part, I just keep trying to get this into my head. This is a great place to be, everyone here is very helpful and encouraging. Even though you don' t feel like that DVD is helping, just remember any movement is good. What has helped me is that I didn't start this alone, my sister-in-law and I are doing this together, find a friend or relative that will help you. I have told her that if I start slacking she is expected to kick me in the back side. Remember when you have a bad day, and we all do, just get back up and start over! Good luck and feel free to add me.
  • LHarders
    LHarders Posts: 28 Member
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    Don't give up.....I felt the same way today....I have been with MFP for a month...lost 7 lbs and for the last 4 days the old Lisa was back. I have tried every plan and lost but have seemed to gain it back. This is a lifestyle change and it will not be easy. I found by reading the message boards it has given me so much inspiration....I'll say it again don't give up you have lost you are doing wonderful. If exercise is hard try cutting back on the time and doing it twice a day. Someone told me videos are the way to go..I have a few Leslie Sansone walking videos are easy steps to learn and wonderful (I really like them)...I even have a few old Richard Simmons ones and they are good. I do believe you need to love yourself for who you are but keep in mind "if you do what you always did, you will get what you always had" So....it is time to say I am doing this for ME...I know it will be hard and it is a one day at a time process...if you have a bad meal...fix it the next meal don't wait for the next day...If you have a bad day jump on here and read other messages or just vent to all of us we are in the same boat...and I will not go down without a fight :D I understand I have stuggled every stage of my life....when I was in high school I thought I was fat but really I wasn't....when i got married I was 140 and now 25 years of marriage later and 3 children I am at 230...what I wouldn't give to be that 140 again but I realize I will be happy if I am healthy and I know the first steps are to walk daily and watch what goes in my mouth. You have so much going for you.....Be strong and say "I am doing this for me" And that Wedding in September!!!!
  • jennifir
    jennifir Posts: 197 Member
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    Don't give up whatever you do...do something small. The key is to find something you enjoy. I tried pilates and just didn't like it. I discovered zumba and since I can't afford to join a gym and go I invested in the dvd set which has been worth every penny. I don't know if you have tried it or not but it is so much fun and does not feel like exercise to me. I look forward to exercising. There are also biggest loser dvds at like walmart that aren't as high impact. The cool thing about the zumba is they have a dvd to show you the moves and start you out. Anyway, you may have thought of it and tried it but I thought I would share and if you need a friend feel free to add me. I have spent many a night in my living room all alone crying and sad to say a tube of cookie dough. You are NOT a failure! Never forget that!
  • mariasheehan
    mariasheehan Posts: 335
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    woooooo, hold on there for just a minute,. you need to stand back, take a breath and have a look at the bigger picture.

    You have lost 14lbs, thats one whole stone. Let's put it into perspective...that 14 boxes of butter, or 56 sticks of butter. 14lbs of pure fat that you've lost from your body.

    It has taken me 6 months to lose 23lbs, I'm in no hurry to get it off, because I want it to stay off.

    I don't go to a gym either, I put my baby in her stroller and walk most days, or I dance at home, as long you you're moving you're burning calories.

    If you have access to the internet try some free workouts on exercise TV http://www.exercisetv.tv/workout-videos/kick-boxing/

    Or depending on your TV provider if you're in the US you can use exercise TV on demand.

    Did you know in order to lose weight, you don't even need to exercise really. It's all about calories in calories out. There are 3,500 calories in one pound of fat, if your BMR (the calories your body needs to survive, breathe, live etc) is approximately 1800 and you consume 1300 calories a day, then you have a deficit of 500 calories a day, if you have a deficit of 500 calories a day, 7 days a week that equals a deficit of 3,500 which in turn equals one pound of fat lost. MFP automatically calculates your BMR and the deficit required for you to lose weight. Exercise is fantastic and helps speed up weight loss, tone our bodies, make us fit, so it's very important. But moving in any way shape or form helps.

    Don't give up, I know you're having a hard time, I suffer from depression so I absolutely know what it's like to hate yourself or feel really low about how you look. But you've already lost a whole stone. You just can't give up now.
  • imr302418
    imr302418 Posts: 4
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    I don't know anything about ettiquite on message boards. I'm new to this high tech stuff! So I apologize if it is wrong to reply to your post if we aren't "friends"'You are beautiful, and don't give up. A great way to get in some cardio with hurting your knees is to stand with your feet shoulder width apart, and punch! You can do upper cuts or regular punches! It gets your heart rate going! Then you can grab some hand weights and do a little weight training. Alternating between the 2 will burn calories!

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