Just can't do it... :o(

thank you!! I guess I don't like people seeing me because I don't want them judging me. I don't know. I am weird.... lol.

Not weird at all. There are LOTS of people who are too embarrassed to be willing to workout at a gym. And to me, that's pretty natural. I mean especially us lady-folk have a tendency to think we should go out without make-up or dressed nice. But the gym? You're supposed to go in workout clothes (which have a tendency to be P.J. like unless you go for spandex, which I do not), no make-up, you sweat, your hair gets frizzy (okay, MINE does!) and its a hot mess.

But EVERYONE looks like that there. At least, everyone who's really rocking their workout. So there's really nothing to be embarrassed about, but it is almost being TOO open with strangers.

And of course the ever-present potential to be judged.

But here's how I look at judgers - when I started out at 232 (there. I did it. That might be the first time.) I was HUMILIATED. I worked out at the local university gym with the young bohunk guys and the sorority girls. OMG, difficult start. But I stayed dedicated and 10 or even 6 months down the road I looked like a whole new person. And IF any of the same people were at the gym, then all I did was show them how hard I rolled. "Yeh, that's right. You had a good mental laugh when I had to use 2 lb weights, but I could kick your booty now!"

You have to be ready to do this for you. And you have to be ready to show the dissenters (including yourself!) what you're made of!

Yes! When I see overweight dancers in my zumba class, I want to high five them. Nothing but respect.

+1. I wish I knew of a non intrusive, yet supportive way to say, 'Way to go. You're doing awesome!' If I'm staring it's because I'm proud of that person.

Here's what someone once said to me, that worked:

Act first, motivation will follow.

Yes. YES!! I certainly don't bounce out of bed in the morning going "F#$k yeah, gonna work out!!", but I make myself do it anyway & a few minutes in I think "this isn't so bad" and by the end I'm feeling like a million bucks. And you know what? Over the months, I've moved a tiny bit closer to looking forward to work outs. It happens if you push through. And YOU can push through!

as many of the others on her have said, just take it one step at a time. Tell yourself you are going to walk for 15 min a day, and do 5 push ups and do 10 sit ups. When you do that every day for a week, step it up. You will see changes, but make it manageable. And yes you need support, so get your family in your corner, you know they love you, so tell them you need positive comments.

Well with that kind of attitude of course you are struggling, you are in the negative me mode.

Frankly, if my kids ever said things like I was the "fat" mom, I'd wash their mouths out with soap. My kids love me for who I am not what size I am. My guess, just a guess here, is they hear you say it and think it's acceptable. Sad really, it breaks my heart to think your kids are adding to your mindset.

Secondly, sounds like your partner is using your weight as an excuse too, you are the same person inside, not just outside.

I'd look into something to aid in depression, or at least seek assistance in getting a diagnosis, or a web search or something, It really sounds like you are focusing on the dark cloud, not the sunlight that shows between them.

Also, have you researched adrenal fatigue, or had your thyroid checked - It's so often that we have tired "every" diet and never been successful, it's time to think out of the box. Get a new perspective, maybe the weight gain/loss is out of your control because you have other health issues. It wasn't until I got my PCOS and hormones under control, found out my thyroid wasn't functioning correctly, and supplemented for adrenal fatigue, that I was able to feel good enough to want to exercise. Think outside the box.

Okay, I am putting on my best drill sargent voice, here: YOU CAN DO THIS. Right now you feel like crap and I understand that. So many of us on here understand all too well what you are feeling. And maybe you have not hit rock bottom yet in order to pick yourself up and do this thing. But let me tell you how ****ing good it feels when you start losing that weight and you clothes start getting too big and you can shimmy back into the old stuff. It feels SO GOOD.. And you can do it. You can do it for yourself, because that is all that matters. You need to put time aside to do this. You need to be selfish and take care of yourself.

Tell you kids show some respect and shut your partner up by getting healthy and then make him beg to a get a good look at you.

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through and how you're feeling. As for your husband, talk to him about how his lack of physical/ eye contact is making you feel. But also, you need to find something that makes you feel happy. Sometimes we can walk into a room and sense things are not right. Some people ask 'what's wrong/ are you ok', others give space until that person seems to have sorted themselves out. When someone is sad/ depressed, there's often a sence of helplessness on the person that is not depressed and not know what to do, or how to help, or even what is wrong, until they're instructed. Attraction for anyone, isn't just in a pretty face or slim body, it's in the smile, the laugh, the touch, the personality, the mood and much more.

I suffered depression for many years (I'm ok now). I thought it was one thing causing my depression, but after finally coming out of my dark place and talking, I realised it was a whole collection of problems that had happened to me all at once. But what I did, was focus a lot of hate, anger and blame internally. I won't go into it too deep, because it really was a dark place. But talking helped, no one knew, until I spoke up.

I'm a loan parent to a 4 year old boy, I have a boyfriend of almost 3 years, we don't live together yet. So I'm raising my son alone. The only time I have to myself is every other weekend, when my son stays with my mum and about 3 hours after he's gone to bed. I can't go to the gym and take my son, I can't afford a baby sitter so I can go to the gym. All my mates are childless and spread out all over London, my mum is the other side of London and my boyfriend does shift work. Soooo, here's what I do to excersise and I hope it helps you.

-Dora adventure, aka walking home from the station (15 mins) instead of taking the bus 5 mins. Apx 100 cals burned.
-Dancing to MTV for 1 hour with my son, me copying the dancers. Over 400 calories burned.
-Son's away for the weekend, turn up the iPod clean the whole house, apx 2 hours. Crazy calories burned.
-Using the broom instead of the Hoover, ouch my back, followed by warm bubble bath.
-3 days a week at work, run upstairs to say hello to all in the top of the office. For extra workout, offer to make coffee (kitchen in the basement and can only carry 2 cups at a time).
-Work again, eat lunch early, walk in my lunch break around the back streets where no one thinks I'm crazy. A bit smelly, perfume in the desk draw.
-Take son weekly to borrow books at the library, every step counts.
-Shopping in the store for an hour, over 300 calories burned.
-Girls night out, cheesy bar with a dance floor (lots calories burned) and vodka with cranberry/ diet coke (50ish calories), sparkling water.
-Walking faster when I'm on my own, the faster I go the more I burn.

All the best and goodluck! )

Don't get me wrong, I sympathize with you, but if you think negatively you're going to act negatively. If you change the way you're thinking you'll change your behavior. Who cares who sees you working out in the privacy of your own home...maybe the kids will see mommy getting in shape and it will show them that you care about healthy living...and your partner asked for it. One trick I learned, if you really don't feel like working out, then just do it for 10 minutes...you'll notice that the hardest part is getting started, you'll feel great after 10 minutes and WANT to do more. But please, change your mind set.

Thank YOU! What thoughts we allow to fester determine our behavior. This is about you, not your partner or kids or the others at the gym! If you want this bad enough you'll make it happen, if you want to stay put the self talk you're giving yourself now will work well for that.

No excuses keeps us moving, excuses slow us down and in a very short time we simply give up and begin blaming others for the process not working.

Take responsibility and simply DO IT! You'll be so glad you did and only regret it if you continue to blame others instead!

I think you're just way too overwhelmed by life, weight, children, weight, children, husband, making dinners, keeping the house clean, etc. All of that is hard work, then there's the treadmill. And I'll agree with you, the g.d. tm is BORING.

Sooo, I have a suggestion, put your tm in the garage for now, take walks with your kids, shovel the g.d. snow - you know that shoveling the snow uses calories? Get a HRM (heart rate monitor) to track your cals & hr while shoveling the snow.

Then I think you need some exercise videos. You wanna try Zumba? Get a dvd. You want to do some yoga? Get some dvds. You want to do aerobics? Get some dvds.

A really GREAT dvd exercise place is collagevideo.com - they have previews and loads of inspiring dvds. You should probably go for the low impact stuff. They even have stuff for people sitting in chairs! Come on you can do that! And, there's a couple of YOGA IN BED dvds right now at amazon, which are awesome, try doing a yoga in bed dvd!

I think you're overwhelmed, you're looking at the mountain, but all you need to do is take one tiny baby step!

if you need extra motivation...check out the success stories...you will see those ppl that have been there and pushed thru....then you'll think....hey, if so-so can do it....why cant i?

Don't get me wrong, I sympathize with you, but if you think negatively you're going to act negatively. If you change the way you're thinking you'll change your behavior. Who cares who sees you working out in the privacy of your own home...maybe the kids will see mommy getting in shape and it will show them that you care about healthy living...and your partner asked for it. One trick I learned, if you really don't feel like working out, then just do it for 10 minutes...you'll notice that the hardest part is getting started, you'll feel great after 10 minutes and WANT to do more. But please, change your mind set.

This is the way to think!! Positive thinking breeds positive results and vice versa.

I have thought this way in the past. No more. Even though it is 6 degrees outside and snow and ice are everywhere, i am still taking my dogs for daily walks. No more excuses!!!!

Get up and get moving. Start small, but think big!!!