Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but...
misspenny762
Posts: 279 Member
I have seen a recurring thing among dieters/healthy eaters that recently is starting to bother me a little. Not just MFP but among pretty much anyone who is trying to lose weight. There seems to be a really prevalent opinion that, when we're dieting, our s/o's, family members, etc. need to support us 100% (which is great!) but that support should include not bringing junk food into the home. We all seem to get really upset to find out that hubby brought home some cookies, chips, etc. because it's such a temptation for us.
Before anyone jumps down my throat, I used to have this opinion too! But recently I've realized that we're not being entirely fair.
WE made the choice to get healthy, not them. WE are the ones on this journey.
Is it really fair for us to ask those around us to change their habits and sacrifice their favorite foods, just because we're afraid of a little temptation?
Would it be awesome if we inspired those in our lives to make better choices? Definitely! And for a lot of us, that's a reality! But for those of us with family members who still just have to satisfy that sweet tooth, we have to respect that. It's one thing to encourage them to make better choices. It's quite another to blow a fuse just because our boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/sibling/parent/roommate/whoever bought themselves a bag of chips at the supermarket.
Sure, it sucks to have that temptation nagging at us from the pantry, but let's be real. If you can't survive a little temptation, your diet is not going to hold out anyway. So you should view this as an opportunity to work out that self-control muscle.
I think of it like this. If someone in my family suddenly went vegetarian, more power to them. I would support their decision, and if they wanted to cook veggie-friendly meals for us several nights of the week, I would even be willing to do that.
But if they got upset at ME because I brought home chicken for my dinner, just because it was "tempting" to them... well, tough luck! I'd say, you made your own choice, but don't force it on me!
So I think maybe we should be a little more understanding of when this happens. Next time you see a box of Oreos in the kitchen that you didn't put there, shrug and grab some baby carrots instead. Then feel proud of yourself for resisting temptation, and just remember that every time you do it, it will get a little bit easier.
(By the way, this post was NOT aimed at anyone in particular, and is NOT responding to any one post. It's just a trend I've been noticing throughout the weight loss community and I wanted to give a voice to the other side.)
Opposing views are welcome :]
Before anyone jumps down my throat, I used to have this opinion too! But recently I've realized that we're not being entirely fair.
WE made the choice to get healthy, not them. WE are the ones on this journey.
Is it really fair for us to ask those around us to change their habits and sacrifice their favorite foods, just because we're afraid of a little temptation?
Would it be awesome if we inspired those in our lives to make better choices? Definitely! And for a lot of us, that's a reality! But for those of us with family members who still just have to satisfy that sweet tooth, we have to respect that. It's one thing to encourage them to make better choices. It's quite another to blow a fuse just because our boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/sibling/parent/roommate/whoever bought themselves a bag of chips at the supermarket.
Sure, it sucks to have that temptation nagging at us from the pantry, but let's be real. If you can't survive a little temptation, your diet is not going to hold out anyway. So you should view this as an opportunity to work out that self-control muscle.
I think of it like this. If someone in my family suddenly went vegetarian, more power to them. I would support their decision, and if they wanted to cook veggie-friendly meals for us several nights of the week, I would even be willing to do that.
But if they got upset at ME because I brought home chicken for my dinner, just because it was "tempting" to them... well, tough luck! I'd say, you made your own choice, but don't force it on me!
So I think maybe we should be a little more understanding of when this happens. Next time you see a box of Oreos in the kitchen that you didn't put there, shrug and grab some baby carrots instead. Then feel proud of yourself for resisting temptation, and just remember that every time you do it, it will get a little bit easier.
(By the way, this post was NOT aimed at anyone in particular, and is NOT responding to any one post. It's just a trend I've been noticing throughout the weight loss community and I wanted to give a voice to the other side.)
Opposing views are welcome :]
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:happy: :flowerforyou: 
:drinker: :bigsmile:
Way to go. Very very true.0 -
Girl, you hit the nail on the head! Well stated & I fully agree.0
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Agreed, and well said 0
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My pantry still has junk food in it. My kids and hubby are a healthy weight and enjoy a treat for dessert most nights. I certainly don't expect them to have to give those up just because I have issues with portion control and emotional eating. On any given day you'll find cookies, chocolate and buttery popcorn in my pantry. I've learned to deal with it.0
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I agree to an extent. However, it is exponentially more challenging to start new habits while still trying to break old ones. Also, it is even harder if you are just starting out and the temptations is right in front of you.0
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What Julie said 0
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I agree with you. WE just have to have the will power to avoid the temptations (cookies, cake, pie) that are in front of us0
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I agree with you. I believe that I am accountable to me and its not because someone else brought something in the house that I like or there are advertisements on TV that show fast food! Its free-will for me and my choice if I decide to indulge or not.
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I agree with you. But family members should also be willing to try to keep it to a minimum. You wouldn't keep lighting up cigarettes around someone you know is trying to quit. It all comes down to COMMON COURTESY and RESPECT for others around you.0
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I agree. My husband doesn't need to lose weight. I do. I'm not going to deprive him to save myself. What I am going to is learn to have will power.0
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i agree with you that we shouldn't get overly upset when our family/friends tempt us with the foods that they enjoy but we are trying to avoid. i personally don't avoid any foods. doesn't work for me. i eat things i want and stay within my calories. i try to eat healthier, sure, but if i want that chocolate i might as well have a piece instead of trying to find something else to satisfy myself because at the end of the struggle, it would have been better on my calories to just have what i wanted in the first place.
i, however, do not like your comparison of eating meat in front of a vegetarian/vegan to eating tempting foods in front of someone on a calorie budget. vegetarians/vegans (for the most part and in my experience) make that choice because of their views about animals and the environment. throwing (not literally) meat in front of someone who doesn't eat it isn't tempting, it's just rude and disrespectful. people have calorie restrictions because they are unhappy with their weight and it doesn't have anything to do with their beliefs and values (like vegetarianism/veganism). SOOO i hope i'm making my point in saying that the two are not the same.0 -
i, however, do not like your comparison of eating meat in front of a vegetarian/vegan to eating tempting foods in front of someone on a calorie budget. vegetarians/vegans (for the most part and in my experience) make that choice because of their views about animals and the environment. throwing (not literally) meat in front of someone who doesn't eat it isn't tempting, it's just rude and disrespectful. people have calorie restrictions because they are unhappy with their weight and it doesn't have anything to do with their beliefs and values (like vegetarianism/veganism). SOOO i hope i'm making my point in saying that the two are not the same.
Well, what do you consider to be "throwing meat in front of someone" to be? Because I definitely wouldn't consider my example of simply bringing meat home for myself to be forcing it on anyone else. I would, however, consider a vegetarian who was getting mad at me for that to be forcing his/her beliefs on me, which is in itself quite disrespectful and rude.0 -
Nevermind.0
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I agree 100% It's the same with life in general and if we all developed this concept in the way we live we wouldn't have road rage, and so much hatred. If people lived and let live. We set this standard and expect people to be on that level. It isn't fair at all. And after all the entire idea of changing our lifestyle is being able to be around foods that WE KNOW are not healthy choices and making the decision to make a healthy choice. It's like an alcoholic expecting all liquor stores to cease to exist once he's clean. Great post!0
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I agree to an extent. However, it is exponentially more challenging to start new habits while still trying to break old ones. Also, it is even harder if you are just starting out and the temptations is right in front of you.
This.
Now, I am at the point where it is easy for me to not eat junk food when others are eating it. It was much harder at other times in my life to watch others and not feel deprived. You are correct that that is my problem and not theirs... but I feel like it is common courtesy to help out your family too. If I had a friend who was struggling with alcoholism... or a family member who had been newly diagnosed with diabetes and was struggling with the dietary changes of that... I wouldn't drink around them or parade sugary sweets they couldn't have in front of them. In time, people who are learning to live sober and people with diabetes/food allergies/etc. have to learn to live in a world where others can eat and drink differently than they do. But I think part of being a family is helping them out in the transition period. Same with those of us making healthy lifestyle changes.
(Also, this is off topic a bit but at least in my family my goal is for us ALL to be eating healthier. So... we rarely bring junk food in the house. My husband is old enough to get his own if he wants. My 5 year old is learning great eating habits. We allow for food that isn't healthy too... but overall I try to make that a treat and not an every day expected thing. I do think that would be harder with older kids though!)0 -
I agree with you but I also just left a post under one of the other topics about the other side of the coin. Yes, they shouldn't be forced to change their lifestyle because we made that decision but they also shouldn't be going out of their way to purposely sabotage us. I'm finding a lot of that with some of the members of my family and it only makes it harder to be successful at what we are trying to do.0
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My husband ALWAYS has twinkies, doughnuts, pastry, Reese's cups, you name it filling a shelf in our pantry. We both have our favorite sweet things and I don't care what's in there unless it's my one favorite thing that he doesn't really care for, Hershey's with almonds. When he buys that it ticks me off because I know he isn't a big fan and is doing it tempt me and I HATE it! If it's period time I cave every time, however now that I have this spiffy little site I know what kind of workout I need to do to counteract my naughty munchies.
It's not about deprivation or being on a diet per se. It's about getting a grip and reigning in what you're eating. I do agree that you shouldn't get upset about someone in your house bringing something that you "shouldn't" have. If you want some of it, eat it! Just set aside the appropriate portion before you take one bite so you don't get all crazy and overdo it. And if you feel guilty then go for a walk 0 -
i, however, do not like your comparison of eating meat in front of a vegetarian/vegan to eating tempting foods in front of someone on a calorie budget. vegetarians/vegans (for the most part and in my experience) make that choice because of their views about animals and the environment. throwing (not literally) meat in front of someone who doesn't eat it isn't tempting, it's just rude and disrespectful. people have calorie restrictions because they are unhappy with their weight and it doesn't have anything to do with their beliefs and values (like vegetarianism/veganism). SOOO i hope i'm making my point in saying that the two are not the same.
Well, what do you consider to be "throwing meat in front of someone" to be? Because I definitely wouldn't consider my example of simply bringing meat home for myself to be forcing it on anyone else. I would, however, consider a vegetarian who was getting mad at me for that to be forcing his/her beliefs on me, which is in itself quite disrespectful and rude.
i agree with you that it would be disrespectful and rude for a vegetarian/vegan to impose their beliefs on someone that didn't agree. i hate nothing more than someone who preaches to me!
i suppose i wasn't clear enough on my argument. i was just trying to say that the two examples aren't very similar because the reasoning behind the choices-vegetarianism and dieting- are totally different.0 -
this reminds me of super size me when in it this guy made he analogy to smokers0
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i suppose i wasn't clear enough on my argument. i was just trying to say that the two examples aren't very similar because the reasoning behind the choices-vegetarianism and dieting- are totally different.
I get what you're saying. Dieting and vegetarianism are two lifestyle changes with entirely different motivations behind them.
I stand by my analogy though. Despite their differences, they can have very similar effects on the family members and friends of those who practice them. My point is that everyone should be respectful of those around them and not hold others up to their own standards unfairly.0 -
I agree with you OP. My hubby doesn't eat well...at all. But that's his choice. As long as my friends and family aren't shoving bad food at me knowing full-well that I am trying to be healthy, then all is well.0
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I get wat ur saying.
Im on a diet, but my bf is trying to gain weight.
So every night we end up having kfc.
I try to go for just the chips and beans.
But alot of the time i end up eating a burger too..
But weve come up with a solution!
I bought him a chocolate safe!
So any chocolate he buys he sticks in there.
And then even if i wanted i couldnt to it....
Well thats the theory, sept the muppet used the pin he uses for everything else.. lol0 -
And on a secondary not i think its out of order for people to impose things on other. Especially when it comes to food.
For example, a small one is that my step-mum liz was trying to loose weight wen i was little. So no chocolate, biscuits, crisps, pies, ice cream, etc was allowd in the house. But my step mum always had a box full of weight-watchers chocolate bars at her disposal. And if i so much as looked at one longingly, i'd get the 'the chocolate is for her' lecture. It was like wtf! :O ............................
And another bigger example was easter last year.. i live with a bunch of christian vegertarians. Me myself be a carnivorous wiccan, means i have different beliefs to them. Anyway on easter... a day which to me is 'the day of eating lots of chocolate in egg shapes', me and the other meat eaters where banned from eating meat for the whole day. Because apparently christians cant eat meat on easter. So not only was vegertarianism forced on me, but someones relgiion was forced on me!! I was so pissed i went to kfc!!0 -
As a vegan who lives with a boyfriend who'll eat anything that fits in his mouth... I think there are similarities and differences. If you want to live happily with anyone, you've got to be considerate about anything they feel strongly about. Expecting everything to be done entirely your way is unreasonable but neither should you be the only one to make sacrifices. Compromises, two way steet, etc.
I'm a bit of a junkfood addict and I actually find it better to keep a little bit of it in the flat. Every day that it sits untouched is like a little celebration that I'm eating better because I really want to, not because I have to. I also find that when I do eat it, I enjoy it because I've decided to treat myself, rather than desperately scoffing it in a mad urge to eat something junky!0 -
THAT'S unfair to say ALL Christians are the same.Don't compare us all to one bad experience.0
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There seems to be a really prevalent opinion that, when we're dieting, our s/o's, family members, etc. need to support us 100% (which is great!) but that support should include not bringing junk food into the home. We all seem to get really upset to find out that hubby brought home some cookies, chips, etc. because it's such a temptation for us.
<snip>
WE made the choice to get healthy, not them. WE are the ones on this journey.
Is it really fair for us to ask those around us to change their habits and sacrifice their favorite foods, just because we're afraid of a little temptation?
I could not agree more with this assessment. While I am eating healthier and trying to lose weight, I am also making small changes in my families diet. (more veggies, less red meat, etc.) I am not forcing ANY of the things I'm eating, but I am doing a lot of explaining why I buy certain things now, why I make certain things the way I do.
I have always cooked from scratch, I just didn't watch serving size, fat content or anything else for that matter. Now I do.
I have five kids and then my husband that I have to feed 3 times a day. I will not take away anything. I encouraged my son to join me on the weight loss journey and to learn to eat healthier and watch his portions a bit better. (he's a teen, so he eats EVERYTHING, and its showing).
My son and I have been doing this together for about 3 weeks now (me, about 5 weeks). What I am seeing, is my children don't go back for "2nds", let alone "3rds" anymore. I don't see them immediately choose the chips or cookies as a snack as often anymore. They are reaching for fruit, veggie sticks, whatever....
They still have all the other stuff available to them.
Honestly, I don't like buying the stuff, because it makes me sad I can't eat it... some things I miss. So I ask my hubby to pick up the stuff for the kids lunches (that's where the chips and snacks seem to be used the most). He does it, I know its in the cabinet, but I don't want to eat it.
By the way, I had a piece of chocolate cake about a week ago or so. I actually did NOT like it... that was a strange moment for me. Sad, because... omg! It was chocolate cake. But happy because, I just didn't want it. I haven't craved it again since. YAY! (sorry for the long reply! I'm wordy!)0 -
Anyway on easter... a day which to me is 'the day of eating lots of chocolate in egg shapes', me and the other meat eaters where banned from eating meat for the whole day. Because apparently christians cant eat meat on easter. So not only was vegertarianism forced on me, but someones relgiion was forced on me!! I was so pissed i went to kfc!!
Are you sure it was Easter? There is no rule that you cannot eat meat on Easter. Christians (Some) refrain from Meat on Friday's during lent....
If it was Easter, that was a choice they made, not something that Christian's live by.0 -
Im a single mom trying to loose weight. I am the only one stocking the fridge and cupboards. I bring in only good food, but I drive him to a drive through every few weeks so he can have some take out, or to the corner store to buy a chip and pop. This way he wont feel deprived but still learn to eat properly.0
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My husband quit smoking and I'm a smoker. He gets a bit irritated when i smoke around him but he understands it was HIS choice. Food on the other hand is a different problem! I buy snack food for the kids, things for easy lunches on the weekends and whatnot, but he has a hard time keeping out of it. For me it's all about moderation. I believe you can eat anything as long as you don't go overboard, but I buy a pack of oreos and they are gone the first day!! he has asked me to stop buying snack food because it's just too hard for him to not eat it. well i'm not going to do it. I have a total chocolate addiction but i am still managing to leave the snacks alone!
i agree it's not fair to ask everyone around you to change just because YOU want to. it's all about teaching kids moderation, not starvation!0 -
Well I'm not on the bandwagon with this. Sorry.
You would not bring drugs around a drug addict or alcohol around an alcoholic so why would someone that cares about you and your health bring your triggers around you when you are trying to make a change. Food addiction is a disease that people battle everyday. So yes in my household there is no junk food besides a unopened bag of Rolos thats been in the cabinet for over a month. If my kids want a snack they are allowed 1 pack of pretzel m&m's a week. I go out and get them 1 and they eat it right then. They are allowed to go to subway or get chinese food once a month. They split a sub or they spit the chinese combo. There are no left overs. Not because I wil be tempted, but just because I don't want junk in my home. But if I were to be one that could be tempted I would appreciate the fact that my kids are allowing mom to make the changes I did without grievances. My husband is deployed but he would be on the bandwagon as well.
On another note....Its called respect and if I respect you as my mate or my friend then I will look out for your best interest. PERIOD. I wouldn't try to sabotage your efforts.0
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