Living with SABOTAGE!

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isislc
isislc Posts: 140 Member
in Motivation and Support
Is anyone else here living with someone that is trying their damned hardest to derail your dieting? I'm sorry that I may sound like venting but it is soo frustrating! I have been working on trying to lose all the weight I had regained after a car accident in 2009. Ever since then, my boyfriend has been trying to force me to eat food I shouldn't be eating and makes problems so that I have to cancel any workout classes I may have to take care of them. He has even gone as far as to call my friends to ask if I'm cheating or really going to these classes! lol

I've gotten to the point that I mainly keep a 3 day supply of quick meals in a bag I take to work so I never get anything he tries to force on me. Otherwise, I'll take it and it doesn't get eaten. Sometimes I need to let the problems go so I can make my classes and deal with it afterwards, even if there are consequences. Mainly just ignore the hell out of him for the most part.

By the way, he has also packed on quite a few pounds and every time I bring up dieting or working out, I get the "I have high blood pressure so I can't do anything" excuse. He is like a lump on a log and I refuse to be held back like this. I was recently at my doctor and surprised her that I had lost 8 lbs in a month. I wanted more but the 8 will do nicely. Boy did that spark off an argument at home. Oh well, I'm really getting tired of this jealous boyfriend thing.

Replies

  • integrapunk67
    integrapunk67 Posts: 10
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    Ditch him.

    He should support you if you're trying to be healthy in YOUR lifestyle. If he wants to be a log so be it - but don't let that control you.
  • Fat_Chopper
    Fat_Chopper Posts: 97 Member
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    Would you let him sabotage your car? Would you let him sabotage your career?

    Why let him sabotage your health? Get rid of the bum!
  • Teebowen
    Teebowen Posts: 78 Member
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    take care of you darling... all you have is your health... you deserve to live healthy, enjoy life and have fun..I have been there done that in a previous relationship and now am fortunate to have the support I need... hope we here can help you achieve your goal!
  • mishmash73
    mishmash73 Posts: 166 Member
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    why would you stay with someone that doesn't support your decision to change & be a better person? Maybe he's jealous that you are going to lose the weight & leave him?
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
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    ow god hes one of them people who has a 'strained' relationship with food.
    Like my mum... lol..
    Tell him to stop being a ****. Tell him how hard ur trying, and tell him how ****ty he makes u feel.
    If ur worth anything to him, he might pack it in a bit.
  • imacrafty
    imacrafty Posts: 11
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    When someone really loves you - they want the best for YOU (not them). Sounds like he's afraid of being left behind. Don't let that be your problem or an obstacle! Continue to forge ahead with or without him!
  • muth3rluvx2
    muth3rluvx2 Posts: 1,156 Member
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    Sounds to me like he's insecure. If he's actively sabotaging, I'd suggest taking a really good look at this relationship and where you both are as individuals. I've dated people like that..... it's not pretty and you shouldn't have to defend self-improvement.

    If I may be frank, sounds like this one's on the way out; which might be painful in the short term, but much healthier for you (and who knows, maybe him too after a while) in the long run. :brokenheart:
  • DoyleBingster
    DoyleBingster Posts: 8
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    This is your time for self-improvment as well as working hard towards a goal. Never let anyone stand in the way of your dreams and aspirations, so you need to drill that into his head. There are many other guys out there who are supportive, and if he can't understand that, then that's too bad. This is a YOUR journey, and you can't let anyone stop you.
  • janesmith1
    janesmith1 Posts: 1,511 Member
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    Is there any way to talk to him about it, in a niiiiice nice nice way? Or even talk to him via computer like:

    Dear Hunnnney,
    Was wondering if you could do me a favor? A *big* favor? I really need you to support me on this, so I'd really like it if you wouldn't ask me to try some of your foods....I'm trying really hard to lose weight. I know you're not, and that's ok by me, but I'm doing this for me....please let me know if you'll be ok with this.

    Love,
    etc...
  • chickybabe05
    chickybabe05 Posts: 48
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    I can sympathise with you in some degree. I know how hard the sabotage can be. For me its my mother and sister. So its not like I can get rid of them. In my experience its jealousy that causes most sabotage attempts. Both my mother and sister are extremely overweight/obese I have tried ignoring their comments, including them in weightloss attempts everything i could think of. For now all I am doing is creating a bit of distance. I don't need the negativity. I have a health condition that means I have to lose any extra that i can if I ever want some kind of normality back in my life, if they can't see that this is whats best for me i'm afraid I have no other choice but to back away.
    it is emtremely hard especially when you need the support. Keep your chin up, tell him its not negotiable he supports your right to be happy and healthy or he knows where the door is!!
  • isislc
    isislc Posts: 140 Member
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    I know that his issue is just jealousy but I've also gotten it from other family members. For example, one of my sisters refuses to look at me when she talks to me because she hates seeing me as I get smaller. She told me once that she hates that I'm losing so much weight because SHE was the skinny one of the family. NOT REALLY!! lol

    I have found ways around his sabotage but it's difficult trying to make good food choices since I have to hide my meals then eat them when I can. If anything, the jealousy just keeps me in check that I'm doing a good job and need to keep it up. I have tried talking to him but it won't work. I'm afraid he will have to go through that "life changing emergency" like the rest of us have had before he thinks it might be time to do something about himself.

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